New York Write to Pitch 2023 - September

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Introduction to Pre-event Assignments 

The below seven assignments are vital to reaching an understanding of specific and critical core elements that go into the creation of a commercially viable genre novel or narrative non-fiction. Of course, there is more to it than this, as you will see, but here we have a good primer that assures we're literally all on the same page before the event begins.

You may return here as many times as you need to edit your topic post (login and click "edit"). Pay special attention to antagonists, setting, conflict and core wound hooks.

And btw, quiet novels do not sell. Keep that in mind and be aggressive with your work.

Michael Neff

Algonkian Conference Director

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After you've registered and logged in, create your reply to this topic (button top right). Please utilize only one reply for all of your responses so the forum topic will not become cluttered. Also, strongly suggest typing up your "reply" in a separate file then copying it over to your post before submitting. Not a good idea to lose what you've done!

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THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT

Before you begin to consider or rewrite your story premise, you must develop a simple "story statement." In other words, what's the mission of your protagonist? The goal? What must be done?

What must this person create? Save? Restore? Accomplish? Defeat?... Defy the dictator of the city and her bury brother’s body (ANTIGONE)? Struggle for control over the asylum (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST)? Do whatever it takes to recover lost love (THE GREAT GATSBY)? Save the farm and live to tell the story (COLD MOUNTAIN)? Find the wizard and a way home to Kansas (WIZARD OF OZ)? Note that all of these are books with strong antagonists who drive the plot line (see also "Core Wounds and Conflict Lines" below).

FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. 

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THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT

(Photo : Javert from "Les Misérables")

What are the odds of you having your manuscript published if the overall story and narrative fail to meet publisher demands for sufficient suspense, character concern, and conflict? Answer: none. You might therefore ask, what major factor makes for a quiet and dull manuscript brimming with insipid characters and a story that cascades from chapter to chapter with tens of thousands of words, all of them combining irresistibly to produce an audible thudding sound in the mind like a mallet hitting a side of cold beef? Answer: the unwillingness or inability of the writer to create a suitable antagonist who stirs and spices the plot hash.

Let's make it clear what we're talking about.

By "antagonist" we specifically refer to an actual fictional character, an embodiment of certain traits and motivations who plays a significant role in catalyzing and energizing plot line(s), or at bare minimum, in assisting to evolve the protagonist's character arc (and by default the story itself) by igniting complication(s) the protagonist, and possibly other characters, must face and solve (or fail to solve).

CONTINUE READING ENTIRE ARTICLE AT NWOE THEN RETURN HERE.

SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them.

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CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE

What is your breakout title? How important is a great title before you even become published? Very important! Quite often, agents and editors will get a feel for a work and even sense the marketing potential just from a title. A title has the ability to attract and condition the reader's attention. It can be magical or thud like a bag of wet chalk, so choose carefully. A poor title sends the clear message that what comes after will also be of poor quality.

Go to Amazon.Com and research a good share of titles in your genre, come up with options, write them down and let them simmer for at least 24 hours. Consider character or place names, settings, or a "label" that describes a major character, like THE ENGLISH PATIENT or THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST. Consider also images, objects, or metaphors in the novel that might help create a title, or perhaps a quotation from another source (poetry, the Bible, etc.) that thematically represents your story. Or how about a title that summarizes the whole story: THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES, HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP, etc.

Keep in mind that the difference between a mediocre title and a great title is the difference between THE DEAD GIRL'S SKELETON and THE LOVELY BONES, between TIME TO LOVE THAT CHOLERA and LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA between STRANGERS FROM WITHIN (Golding's original title) and LORD OF THE FLIES, between BEING LIGHT AND UNBEARABLE and THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING.

THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed).

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DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES

Did you know that a high percentage of new novel writers don't fully understand their genre, much less comprehend comparables? When informing professionals about the nuances of your novel, whether by query letter or oral pitch, you must know your genre first, and provide smart comparables second. In other words, you need to transcend just a simple statement of genre (literary, mystery, thriller, romance, science fiction, etc.) by identifying and relating your novel more specifically to each publisher's or agent's area of expertise, and you accomplish this by wisely comparing your novel to contemporary published novels they will most likely recognize and appreciate--and it usually doesn't take more than two good comps to make your point.

Agents and publishing house editors always want to know the comps. There is more than one reason for this. First, it helps them understand your readership, and thus how to position your work for the market. Secondly, it demonstrates up front that you are a professional who understands your contemporary market, not just the classics. Very important! And finally, it serves as a tool to enable them to pitch your novel to the decision-makers in the business.

Most likely you will need to research your comps. If you're not sure how to begin, go to Amazon.Com, type in the title of a novel you believe very similar to yours, choose it, then scroll down the page to see Amazon's list of "Readers Also Bought This" and begin your search that way. Keep in mind that before you begin, you should know enough about your own novel to make the comparison in the first place!

By the way, beware of using comparables by overly popular and classic authors. If you compare your work to classic authors like H.G. Wells and Gabriel Marquez in the same breath you will risk being declared insane. If you compare your work to huge contemporary authors like Nick Hornby or Jodi Picoult or Nora Ephron or Dan Brown or J.K. Rowling, and so forth, you will not be laughed at, but you will also not be taken seriously since thousands of others compare their work to the same writers. Best to use two rising stars in your genre. If you can't do this, use only one classic or popular author and combine with a rising star. Choose carefully!

FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: - Read this NWOE article on comparables then return here.

- Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why?

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CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT 

Conflict, tension, complication, drama--all basically related, and all going a long way to keeping the reader's eyes fixated on your story. These days, serving up a big manuscript of quiet is a sure path to damnation. You need tension on the page at all times, and the best way to accomplish this is to create conflict and complications in the plot and narrative. Consider "conflict" divided into three parts, all of which you MUST have present in the novel. First part, the primary dramatic conflict which drives through the work from beginning to end, from first major plot point to final reversal, and finally resolving with an important climax. Next, secondary conflicts or complications that take various social forms - anything from a vigorous love subplot to family issues to turmoil with fellow characters. Finally, those various inner conflicts and core wounds all important characters must endure and resolve as the story moves forward.

But now, back to the PRIMARY DRAMATIC CONFLICT. If you've taken care to consider your story description and your hook line, you should be able to identify your main conflict(s). Let's look at some basic information regarding the history of conflict in storytelling. Conflict was first described in ancient Greek literature as the agon, or central contest in tragedy. According to Aristotle, in order to hold the interest, the hero must have a single conflict. The agon, or act of conflict, involves the protagonist (the "first fighter" or "hero") and the antagonist corresponding to the villain (whatever form that takes). The outcome of the contest cannot be known in advance, and, according to later drama critics such as Plutarch, the hero's struggle should be ennobling. Is that always true these days? Not always, but let's move on.

Even in contemporary, non-dramatic literature, critics have observed that the agon is the central unit of the plot. The easier it is for the protagonist to triumph, the less value there is in the drama. In internal and external conflict alike, the antagonist must act upon the protagonist and must seem at first to overmatch him or her. The above defines classic drama that creates conflict with real stakes. You see it everywhere, to one degree or another, from classic contemporary westerns like THE SAVAGE BREED to a time-tested novel as literary as THE GREAT GATSBY. And of course, you need to have conflict or complications in nonfiction also, in some form, or you have a story that is too quiet.

For examples let's return to the story descriptions and create some HOOK LINES. Let's don't forget to consider the "core wound" of the protagonist. Please read this article at NWOE then return here.

• The Hand of Fatima by Ildefonso Falcones
• A young Moor torn between Islam and Christianity, scorned and tormented by both, struggles to bridge the two faiths by seeking common ground in the very nature of God.
• Summer's Sisters by Judy Blume
• After sharing a magical summer with a friend, a young woman must confront her friend's betrayal of her with the man she loved.
• The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud
• As an apprentice mage seeks revenge on an elder magician who humiliated him, he unleashes a powerful Djinn who joins the mage to confront a danger that threatens their entire world.

Note that it is fairly easy to ascertain the stakes in each case above: a young woman's love and friendship, the entire world, and harmony between opposed religions. If you cannot make the stakes clear, the odds are you don't have any. Also, is the core wound obvious or implied?

FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication.

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OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS

As noted above, consider "conflict" divided into three parts, all of which you should ideally have present. First, the primary conflict which drives through the core of the work from beginning to end and which zeniths with an important climax (falling action and denouement to follow). Next, secondary conflicts or complications which can take various social forms (anything from a vigorous love subplot to family issues to turmoil with fellow characters). Finally, those inner conflicts the major characters must endure and resolve. You must note the inner personal conflicts elsewhere in this profile, but make certain to note any important interpersonal conflicts within this particular category."

SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction.

Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it?

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THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING

When considering your novel, whether taking place in a contemporary urban world or on a distant magical planet in Andromeda, you must first sketch the best overall setting and sub-settings for your story. Consider: the more unique and intriguing (or quirky) your setting, the more easily you're able to create energetic scenes, narrative, and overall story. A great setting maximizes opportunities for interesting characters, circumstances, and complications, and therefore makes your writing life so much easier. Imagination is truly your best friend when it comes to writing competitive fiction, and nothing provides a stronger foundation than a great setting. One of the best selling contemporary novels, THE HUNGER GAMES, is driven by the circumstances of the setting, and the characters are a product of that unique environment, the plot also.

But even if you're not writing SF/F, the choice of setting is just as important, perhaps even more so. If you must place your upmarket story in a sleepy little town in Maine winter, then choose a setting within that town that maximizes opportunities for verve and conflict, for example, a bed and breakfast stocked to the ceiling with odd characters who combine to create comical, suspenseful, dangerous or difficult complications or subplot reversals that the bewildered and sympathetic protagonist must endure and resolve while he or she is perhaps engaged in a bigger plot line: restarting an old love affair, reuniting with a family member, starting a new business, etc. And don't forget that non-gratuitous sex goes a long way, especially for American readers.

CONTINUE TO READ THIS ARTICLE THEN RETURN.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it.

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Below are several links to part of an article or whole articles that we feel are the most valuable for memoir writers.

We have reviewed these and agree 110%.

MEMOIR WRITING - CHOOSE A SPECIFIC EVENT (good general primer)

How to Write a Memoir That People Care About | NY Book Editors

NYBOOKEDITORS.COM

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Are you thinking of writing a memoir but you're stuck? We've got the remedy. Check out our beginner's guide on writing an epic and engaging memoir.

MEMOIR MUST INCLUDE TRANSCENDENCE

Writing Memoir? Include Transcendence - Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

MARIONROACH.COM

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MEMOIR REQUIRES TRANSCENDENCE. Something has to happen. Or shift. Someone has to change a little. Or grow. It’s the bare hack minimum of memoir.

WRITE IT LIKE A NOVEL

How to Write a Powerful Memoir in 5 Simple Steps

JERRYJENKINS.COM

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When it comes to writing a memoir, there are 5 things you need to focus on. If you do, your powerful story will have the best chance of impacting others.

MEMOIR ANECDOTES - HOW TO MAKE THEM SHINE

How to Write an Anecdote That Makes Your Nonfiction Come Alive

JERRYJENKINS.COM

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Knowing how to write an anecdote lets you utilize the power of story with your nonfiction and engage your reader from the first page.

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[Dylan Night]

Pre-event, Part I, Dylan Night

1)The metamorphosis from the man I was, to the person I would become.   

2) A force is a power, an energy, a compulsion, a weight, and mine, through the journey of this tale, was the same driving influence of my entire life, of what kept me searching to find but longing to resist: It was my family (mother, father, sister); and the juxtaposed need and mistrust of all who followed. Of how I sought out each of them in every person I loved thereafter; though innately knowing they would all bludgeon me in the end—if I were to stumble in any regard. My family used me to fulfill their own desperate, narcissistic needs. My father, a Vietnam vet raised in a trailer in backwoods West Virginia without running water by an alcoholic father and depressive mother; my mother was born fatherless to a ruthless, overbearing, scheming woman who used her as a doll to attract any man she could find; and like mother like daughter, my sister was conceived to a father other than my own who in turn adopted her as a two-year-old but never accepted her as his. Thus, the reason I was brought into this world, the sole reason, to bring them the only joy they would ever know. They are the definition of selfishness, and cowardice, in spite of all and themselves, taking and devouring all in their paths, anything to fill the hole and ease the pain. With my sister leveling at me nothing but jealousy and contempt, who would go on to commit the greatest atrocity of them all.                  

3) An Impression of a Life; Through Fire

4) Think Henry Chinaski’s raw and unnerving honesty mixed with Lisa Taddeo’s Animal’s sexually ignition and brutality.             

5) It’s a broken man’s quest to break free the chains of his ignominious upbringing in that he can become a light to his new partner and stepchild, while also a voice of reason and hope in this new and calamitous world of which we live.            

6) Guilt, it’s always the guilt within, of letting them down, the people who were supposed to be the ones there for me, to raise and protect; and of my own selfish desire to please, to be that for them, and frankly everyone, even at the cost of my well-being as it’s all I’ve ever known. Can you turn your back on your own family and still consider yourself a good person, an example, the thing you scream from the rooftops you are … The last thing in the world I want to be is a hypocrite. I despise it, and was torn to pieces when faced with the decision to denounce them (my family) once and for all—by not attending my sister’s funeral. To then be confronted by a near identical scenario at home, with my partner and stepdaughter who share so many similar traits, engulfed by their own cavernous want, and how I respond is what will define how I go about living the rest of my days, communing with the all of humanity, and its own primordial hunger to consume. It is the dilemma, and the crux of the entire thing.                         

7) The setting is Coastal Southern California, the gilded shores, the dream, Los Angeles to San Diego, always pretending to be more, a character unto itself, a rose by any other name, to all the way back to dead-drear gloom of Ohio, with its rust and schizophrenic winds, the antithesis of where everyone from there wants to be, as all they want is more. If California is the protagonist of this account, then Ohio is certainly the antagonist, the noose around its neck.          

[Lea]

1.      Write your story statement:

 A white mother desperate to rescue her young Black son from the police; from everything.

 

 2.      In 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them.

 A boy named Hunter, “friends” with the protagonist’s son, but at heart a racist and the underlying cause of much of the trouble that moves the plot.

 

 3.      Consider a breakout title:

 Seeking Forgiveness

Love’s Limit

Finding a Way Out

 

 4.      Develop two smart comparables for your novel.

 Seeking Forgiveness lies at the intersection of race, family, and motherhood.  Readers who enjoy female-driven autobiographical novels such as Motherhood by Sheila Heti, I Love Dick by Chris Kraus and Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offill will enjoy this novel. 

 

Similarly, readers who are drawn to stories of racial identity and inter-racial relations, including Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, and The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas, will also want to read this novel. 

  

5.      Write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above.

 After choosing to start a family through interracial adoption, a white mother is forced to confront the fact that she has no idea how to protect her Black son from forces beyond her control.

 

6.      Sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction

 Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it?

 

The protagonist is a white woman who adopts a Black son through the foster system in St. Louis, and who realizes pretty early on that raising an inter-racial family is much more complicated than she had anticipated. Choosing a pre-school, Thanksgiving dinner with family, even routine trips to the dentist all lead to confusion and conflict and start to make the protagonist wonder whether she is an adequate mother, and if she can protect her son.

 

One hypothetical scenario of inner conflict:  When the protagonist comes across an op-ed in The New York Times by a Black woman who argues that inter-racial adoption should not be legal in the United States. The searing argument is that white parents simply do not know how to safely raise Black children in America today.

 

One hypothetical scenario of secondary conflict:  When the protagonist’s son’s white friends start calling him ‘homey’ at school. Is this racist? Should she be worried? Should she call their parents and tell them what is happening? Or should she ignore the nickname, and choose not make a big deal of it at all.

 

 7.      Sketch out your setting in detail

 The primary setting of the novel is the intake-area of a police station where the protagonist is forced to wait – for hours – after her sixteen year old Black son is arrested by the police. The walls of the station are gray, the seats are brown, and the cold cement floor is unforgiving.

 

The arc of the novel takes place in the police station, but while the protagonist waits she has flashbacks to important events in the life of her son:  his initial adoption, the bullying he received at school, the countless times strangers asked if the two of them were together. The setting of the flashbacks is their life together, mother and son, growing up in an often unaccepting world.

[Joe Floyd]

1.      Write your story statement:

Of Aliens, Cannibals and Cowboys by Joseph Floyd

  Science Fiction

(PROTAGONST INTRO AND SETTING)  Thad is a cop in 23^rd century Earth who tries to maintain order in a society on the verge of chaos because of global warming.  A veteran of the heat-riots resulting from a failed science experiment that inadvertently raised global temperatures, he has become cynical and avoids meaningful romantic relationships.

He is investigating a powerful crime syndicate called the ‘Organization’ which has been killing people for their body parts in his zone, when he is diverted to the wealthy Greenzone to respond to a domestic-violence call (INCITING INCIDENT).  He meets a beautiful young woman there named Vera who has been slapped around by her rich boy-friend. Thad rescues Vera and they become romantically involved .  While investigating the Organization, he makes an enemy of Spax, it’s leader, when he refuses to be bribed (STAKES AND FIRST MAJOR PLOT POINT).  He is captured by Spax who orders his execution, but Thad escapes with the help of a young attractive woman named Lethan.

When Thad returns to his apartment he is arrested for the murder of Vera’s boyfriend and discovers that she has framed him (SECOND MAJOR PLOT POINT).  He escapes with the help of his friend Urgo and they travel to the forbidden zone for mutants. They are forced to go to a mining penal-colony on Venus but they escape Venus in a stolen spaceship and begin a series of adventures while traveling through the solar system: they rescue Lethan after a meteorite shower on Mercury; they are captured by a cannibal cult on Mars;  they are involved in a shoot-out between cowboys and mercenaries on the Jupiter moon Europa; they are captured by pirates and taken to the Jupiter moon Ganymede and forced into a fight between competing pirates; they find an ancient burial site for aliens on Saturn’s moon Titan and must fight off a giant robot spider; and they are intercepted by  space marines and must fight to survive.

Thad decides to return to Earth to clear himself of murder charges and he becomes embroiled in a power struggle between Spax and Vera for control of the Organization.  Spax takes Lethan hostage and Thad  is forced to choose which woman he will betray and kill: Vera or Lethan. (CLIFF-HANGER: WHO WILL HE CHOOSE? WHICH WOMAN DOES HE LOVE?).  

 2.      In 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them.

A crime syndicate, the Organization represents the worst of all large corporations:   cold and impersonal; focused on the bottom line at the expense of all else; ruthless and predatory.  Spax, as leader of the Organization,  embodies all of this. Spax has been CEO of the Organization ever since he poisoned the previous CEO and took control. Whenever the Organization failed to meet the production targets for the quarter, he liked to use the ancient Roman military practice of decimation: he lined up all of his lieutenants and kill every tenth one.  Anyone opposing him was immediately crushed.

 

 3.      Consider a breakout title:

Of Aliens, Cannibals and Cowboys

Aliens, Cannibals, Cowboys and Pirates

HEAT COP

FUTURE-HEAT

HEAT-RIOTS

HEAT-RIOT COP

I FALL TO PIECES

FALL TO PIECES

CRAZY

CRAZY, I’M CRAZY

I’M CRAZY

BOILING HOT

BOILING HOT WORLD

BOILING HEAT

HEAT AND BETRAYAL

 

 4.      Develop two smart comparables for your novel.

 The Saturn Series by C. Chase Harwood

The Saturn Series is a swashbuckling, often humorous, adventure story where the main character is a cop who has fled the advance of an Earth dominated by AI, to Saturn where he and  his new comrades are now fugitives who must beg, borrow, and steal their way across Saturn's moon colonies to survive and a final show-down. Of Aliens, Cannibals and Cowboys has similar plot elements: swashbuckling, humorous adventure story; cop and his new comrades being pursued across the entire solar system by a criminal syndicate; and a final confrontation and show-down.

Gallow Glass by S. J. Moran

A fast-paced adventure, Jack Van Der Veerden must fight to survive in space as he seeks his fortune on a mining ship crewed by mercenaries and misfits. Thad, like Jack, is a space traveler who is thrown into crazy and dangerous situations that he must think and fight his way out of.    

5.      Write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above.

Of Aliens, Cannibals and Cowboys by Joseph Floyd

Framed for murder by the woman he has fallen in love with and marked for death by a crime syndicate that has been killing for body parts, a hard-boiled cop escapes from earth and encounters cannibals, cowboys, pirates, gangsters and an alien robot spider as he fights to clear his name and settle a score.

 6.      Sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction

At a young age, the protagonist was given a chance to escape poverty by being trained as a Heat Cop and never saw his mother again.  The over-heated slums where he works are a pressure cooker of violence ready to explode any moment and he is confronted with institutional hypocrisy from his higher-ups.  All of this has made him cynical and caused him  to avoid meaningful relationships.  When he helps a beautiful woman named Vera who has been slapped around by her boyfriend, he has romantic feelings that he can’t repress. He hears a Patsy Cline song on an ancient juke box and it unlocks emotions that he can’t control and he falls in love with Vera but she frames him for the murder of her boyfriend. Another woman named Lethan saves his life and he becomes attracted to her. In the end he is forced to choose which of the two woman he will betray and kill: Vera, who framed him for murder and who he still loves; or Lethan, who saved his life.

 7.      Sketch out your setting in detail

Heat shimmering from the cracked and broken sidewalks made the dull-grey concrete buildings in the distance dance like a gibbeted thief. The first thing that hit him when he stepped foot outside of his cruiser onto the street, was the dense hot smell of millions of poor people: sweating, cooking, breeding and dying year after year in the same fifty cubic kilometers of ancient concrete and steel that comprised his zone.

 

 

 

 

[mhnicholas]

Marcy H. Nicholas

Pre-Event Responses

July 30, 2023

1.      Story Statement

After being denied tenure, Oliver must find a way to create a new life outside of academia and beyond the Northeast by discovering a new home, new friends, a new love interest, and new experiences.

2.      Antagonist Force

At this point, I would characterize my novel as nascent. I haven’t thought about an antagonist yet. At the beginning of the novel the Dean of Liberal Arts serves as one force of antagonism as he tells Oliver that she has been denied tenure. In addition, Oliver has problems with another character Cameron, a privileged academic who does get tenure the same year that Oliver does not. I don’t know if Cameron could continue to intersect with Oliver or not. Why would she? Oliver is certainly divided between wanting to “return” to the life she knew in some form (at another school) or to lean into this new life in Florida. Ultimately, the novel is about one woman finding a new “tribe” of people around whom she can build a life. So the antagonist would have to be someone who is trying to mess that up in some way or who wants to convince her that she’s not equipped to do this or who is encouraging her to leave this new life. I don’t think that could be her parents or someone in Florida. Maybe it could be a long-term friend from her hometown; maybe it could be a guy she went to grad school with who always had a crush on her and now is trying to reconnect with her and convince her to be with him and become an adjunct.

3.      Breakout Titles

Finding Home

Leaving, Arriving, Staying

Three Months in Del Ray Beach (Or Whatever Beach in Florida I decide to set the novel

4.      Comparables

Lily King’s Writers and Lovers because it’s about a woman around the age of my character who is struggling with her identity and career while in the midst of grief about her mother. King writes in first person so it’s a good model of first-person POV. My character is grieving about a loss as well.

I read After the Parade by Lori Ostlund a long time ago. She uses the journey archetype in the novel, which is what I am doing and what so many works of literature do. My character’s journey is not the organizational strategy of the novel, but in the tradition of the journey archetype, my character does meet characters that she must learn from once she gets to Florida

The Sentence by Louise Erdrich.  I love this novel because even though Erdrich writes in third person, readers are still in the head and heart of the main character. Erdrich doesn’t interject these expository passages to “inform” her readers.  The story is not that comparable to mine, but the novel is a good model of third-person point of view.

5.      Hook Line with Conflict and Core Wound

After being denied tenure, a thirty-five-year-old Oliver must deal with the shame she feels about this failure and confront her own inadequacies before she can accept and embrace her new life, friends, and love in Florida.

6.       A. Sketch of the conditions for the inner conflict of the protagonist. 

Oliver’s inner conflict has to do with her feelings of shame and inadequacy after she is denied tenure. She thinks she must find another job, which will give her the credibility she is longing for. She begins to experience life outside of the walls of academia and is enjoying it, but her inner conflict keeps her from fully committing to the life that has been evolving around her in Florida and from fully accepting that she deserves love and friendship.

One possible scenario. She spends the weekend with Michael her new love interest, but on Monday morning she gets an email from a university wanting to set up a video interview. She completely blows off Michael. Or maybe the antagonist, this former graduate school colleague, invites her up for a supposed job interview, and once she makes the trip, he was only asking her so he could convince her to move in with him and teach as an adjunct.

 Sketch of hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. 

A good question. I’m not sure if I have a good answer to this. Maybe she experiences the conservatism of Florida or the tension between transplants—the whole population boom in Florida in some way and wonders if she can fit in Florida.  Maybe she goes to a book reading, asks a question, and gets embarrassed about something.                                                                                   

7.      Sketch of Setting 

The prologue begins in Binghamton, New York at a small liberal arts college (fabricated). Then a year later, Oliver the protagonist, leaves Binghamton, thinking that she is going to drive the four hours to her parents’ house in Pennsylvania, move in with them, until she finds another job. However at the exit for York,  she makes a split-second decision to keep driving to Florida, specifically to Del Ray Beach, (?) where Stan Sanders, a retired colleague lives. Oliver lands in a beach motel for a couple of nights and then ends up rooming with Stan for a while. In a very rough draft of this novel that I wrote a few years ago, I noticed that I was playing around with that tension between the uptight and dark and gloomy Northeast and the more open and sunnier Florida. The main character must “come out” in a sense from that dark and gloom of the northeast and of her life to embrace the sunny and new life that she can have in Florida. I should also add that the novel will cover about three months: June through August.

Just to add: What a great execise! Loved doing this as it revealed for me the gaps I have in my thinking.

[Sharilyn]

Assignment #1: Story Statement

Conquer deadly obstacle courses to stop World War IV from happening.

 

Assignment #2: Antagonist

Soloria Ayün was born into a fundamentalist sect of the Order of the Vigilant Mother. Growing up in the convent, she was taught absolute reverence for the Divine Mother and adopted their mission to guard against Mother God’s enemies. Her genius presented at an early age. She proved to be a brilliant student and gifted girl, blessed with visions of the future. She began her training as a small child. Her fervor for Mother God is genuine.

Now at twenty-three, Soloria has achieved extraordinary feats and gained a worshipful following. She is an exalted young priestess of the Temple of the Divine Mother and was recently elected governor of her province, because the people love her so much. Though she may seem an enigma to Xandra Fallow (protagonist), Soloria’s need to save womankind drives her actions.

But Soloria is troubled. She’s seen a stark vision of the future, a future where Xandra plays a pivotal role. She knows it is a grave sin to kill, but she also knows she must take action to stop Xandra from her destined future role. Soloria’s solution to her dilemma triggers the entire story.

 

Assignment #3: Breakout Titles

Ascendance

The Rites of Ascendance

Xandra Rising

 

Assignment #4: Comps

Divergent meets American Royals

Ascendance combines the action and high stakes of Veronica Roth's Divergent with the lavish worldbuilding and romance of Katherine McGee's American Royals.

 

Assignment #5: Logline

In a future where women rule, a reclusive teenage girl from a powerful family, who buried her courage deep inside when her dad was killed, must conquer deadly obstacle courses to stop World War IV. 

 

Assignment #6: Inner & Secondary Conflicts

Inner: Xandra Fallow was a spirited little girl. Inspired by her grandmother’s activism, when little Xandra saw injustice, she would go out of her way to try to stop it. She wouldn’t hesitate to stand up for others, even going to blows if needed. Tragically, when she was nine years old, her famous grandmother was assassinated, and her dad was also killed as collateral damage. The loss of her dad and grandmother was a terrible blow to Xandra. The world became a scary place, and the feisty, passionate girl, spoiling to fight for justice got sucked inside and buried deep. Now, seven years later, Xandra hardly leaves the grounds of the estate. She takes private studies with tutors at home. Crowds and public speaking frighten Xandra. But while she works at being a dutiful governor’s daughter, staying safely at home, there is a deep-down secret part of her that yearns to break free. The inner journey follows Xandra as she breaks out of her shell, embraces who she is, and comes into her own power. 

In the first plot point, Xandra is asked to submit to a deadly rite of passage to stop the world from plunging into war. Xandra’s mother banned the rites in their own province, and flat-out orders Xandra to say no. Xandra works hard to be dutiful, and it would be wrong to defy her mother, plus the rites are very dangerous and could kill her—but many lives are at state. While she stews about what to do, the part of her that yearns to break free, claws its way to the surface, and she agrees to submit to the rites.  

Secondary: At the beginning of her story, Xandra hasn’t recognized the disparity between the way women and men are treated. The character who most closely personifies this struggle is her brother Deacon, who is smart and frustrated about life, because of the limitations he experiences.

While Xandra and Deacon work together to dig up information about Soloria, Xandra becomes exposed through Deacon to men’s oppression. There is a sequence of scenes spaced throughout the story that make up Xandra’s awakening to the truth. The first scene starts with Xandra making an outlandish statement (‘men should have a full vote, just like us’) to taunt a group of obnoxious women, but when her mother presses her whether she means it, Xandra admits that she didn’t, because she’d never thought about it. But now, she’s thinking about it. Ultimately the journey with Deacon opens her eyes to the plight of males, and in the end she commits to fight for ‘opportunities for all’.

 

Assignment #7: Setting

The story is set in a future society where women rule the world and men are second class citizens at best. After the Magnificent Revolution when women seized control of the world, and the subsequent Rebuilding where the world was repaired and revitalized, humanity learned to live in harmony with nature. Hunger, homelessness, and epidemics were cured. Deadly firearms and ammunitions were gathered up and shipped into the sun. Racism was healed and is now only found in history books. Earth has clean air, the climate crisis has been over for centuries, and the government provides robust family and health services, and touts freedom for all womankind.

Class structures are rigid. There is a thriving middle class that generally lives in single home dwellings in green neighborhoods (suburbs lush with flora) or townhomes in city centers. The women of this class perform most of the professional and artisan jobs in society. Men of this class may perform assistant work, security forces, or may be primary caregivers.  

The “subz” or subsidized class are the poorest in society and highly dependent upon government assistance. They live in designated districts in cities (in Providence City, this is O’Ville). The subz tend to be overrun with males, and the bulk of manual laborers come out of subz districts. The subz are also home to organized crime and gangs. For housing, families squeeze into small flats provided by the government.

The “aristos” make up the ruling and wealthy class, and Xandra is a member of this class. Aristos live in palatial estates in the country or grand homes within a city, and the Fallows are no exception. The Fallows have the second largest estate in their province, East Atlantic, which is located within the domain known as The Americas (current day North and South America). Xandra spends many chapters at varying locations within her family’s estate. This includes bedrooms, library, government offices, gym, and multiple ballrooms in their large 3-wing mansion. Also, stables, an underground aquarium maze, hangars where they keep hover vehicles, rolling hills, a wooded area with a hidden romantic glade, and the Atlantic coast.

The estate is just outside the boundary of Providence City (population 1 million) and within the city Xandra visits the Temple and the downtown bay district. Other locations she visits, either virtually or in person, include a grand palace, a Temple in Argentina Grande, a convent at the top of the Andes, a jungle, a dangerous cave, a stadium located in a desert, and a war zone.

[Judith C.]

SISTERS, SOLDIERS, SECRETS by Judith Carlough

Historical fiction, Civil War

 

Assignment 1:  Story Statement

 

Passionate best friends—one White, one Black—run away to join the Union Army and fight for equality and independence for the slaves, only to encounter rampant bigotry and prejudice against them as women.

Assignment 2: Antagonistic Forces

Lowell, MA, 1862. Two best friends graduate from America’s first integrated, co-educational  high school and vow they will join the Union Army to help free the slaves.

But Maggie, an Irish immigrant, and Silky, daughter of a freed slave, face overwhelming opposition because they are women. The entire status quo is antagonistic: Parents want to protect the girls from the consequences of youthful impulsiveness. Society dictates that girls should be subservient and obedient. The laws of the land—promulgated by white men—prohibit women from holding bank accounts, owning property, inheriting wealth, or voting.

After successive acts of rebellion, the girls are backed into a corner until they run away to the front, a defiant act they believe will indisputably prove women can endure the hardships required of soldiers.

On the road, antagonistic forces dominate: Inns and cafes are segregated. Educated women/Negroes draw suspicion. Dancing freely at a country fair nearly results in a rape. A relentless Pinkerton—no better than a slave catcher—has been hired to bring the girls home. Even Mother Nature seems to have it in for Maggie and Silky.

In the end, the girls are granted a military assignment where success depends on their ability to capitalize on bias, prejudice, and bigotry. 

Assignment 3: Breakout Titles

 

Sisters, Soldiers, Secrets

 

Sister Soldiers of the Civil War

 

Women Warriors: A Story of Civil War Sisterhood

 

 

Assignment 4: Genre and Comps

Genre: Historical fiction, Civil War era

 

My storyline of a grand adventure compares to Lisa Wingate’s Book of Lost Friends. My theme of the challenges of interracial friendship is similar to Sabra Waldfogel’s Charleston’s Daughter. The story should appeal to fans of Ruta Sepetys and Jennifer Chiaverini. Two unique characteristics of my story: Maggie and Silky are Northern, well-educated, and neither is master nor slave.  

Assignment 5: Hook Line with Conflict and Core Wounds

When you’re female, the Union Army won’t let you enlist. Can best friends—one White, one Black—undertake a life-threatening journey to the front to prove women have the right stuff? 

Core wounds:  Humiliation, double standards, gender and racial bias/bigotry/stereotyping.

Assignment 6:  MC Inner Conflict 

 

Part I: Sketch a scenario showing the MC’s turmoil, conflict. 

 

It’s 1862, and two best friends—one White, one Black—graduate from America’s first co-educational, integrated high school in Lowell, MA. Having been schooled on equal terms with boys, Maggie and Silky are comfortable competing—even out-performing—them, not only in the classroom but as expert riders and marksmen.

 

This ceases to be the scenario when the Civil War breaks out and the girls want to join their older brothers at the front. The Union Army will not accept women enlistees.

 

Their families becomes increasingly distraught with Maggie and Silky’s rebellious acts, meant to prove their competency to become soldiers. As the parents tighten the net on the girls’ activities, and resentment explodes. When the mothers hatch a marriage plot, Maggie and Silky steal a wagon and run away to the front, burdened by the pain they will cause both families. The girls question whether they should be loyal to their parents and the status quo, or to their moral compass, which directs them to help free the slaves and demonstrate that women have the right stuff. They ask, If the war is being fought to secure freedom and equality, shouldn’t women have the same rights?

 

Part II: Show a secondary conflict in a social environment involving friends, family, associates. 

 

At the end of the journey, an elite military unit involved with spying promises Maggie and Silky an assignment. But a letter arrives from a man Maggie met on the road; an officer she passionately bedded and with whom she believes she could build a life. Maggie fears the letter will subvert her dedication to serve the Union as a spy, and cause her to betray her commitment to Silky. On the day the promised assignment is delivered from the army, Maggie weighs her options: the uncertain promise of love and marriage, or the opportunity to achieve her dream to serve the Union, free the slaves, and gain rights for women. Maggie burns the letter, unopened.

 

Assignment 7: Sketch your setting in detail

 

The story originates in Lowell, MA in 1862, a city essential to the Union’s war effort for its textile production. Bemouth brick factories are alive with spewing smokestacks and teeming immigrant workers jammed into deplorable conditions. Teamsters scream at mules who draw carts weighted with massive bundles of wool. Ladies in fashionable hoop skirts navigate daintily over cobblestone streets punctuated with urine and manure. Cramped wooden apartments on dark allies give way to wide boulevards that showcase the gracious homes of the mill owners and merchants.

 

Lowell is also the location of America’s first co-educational and integrated high school, which has created a protective bubble for the main characters, Maggie O’Rourke and her comrade-in-arms, Silky Baptiste. The young women have competed with boys in the classroom and at riding and marksmanship, often out-performing them. They have been treated as the boys’ equals, and expect to be judged based on performance, not gender.

 

This egalitarian frame-of-reference disintegrates when Maggie and Silky graduate and announce their intention to join the Union Army and help free the slaves, just like their older brothers. When their parents clamp down and restrict the girls to loathsome prayer and knitting vigils, they steal a wagon and undertake a perilous journey to the front, an act they believes will prove women have the right stuff to be soldiers and deserve the rights and freedom given men. 

 

The adventure takes Maggie and Silky through agrarian Walden Pond and Concord, MA, to the rugged wilderness and lawless backwater towns in Connecticut and Pennsylvania, where an attempted rape at a county fair almost does them in. They arrive at the mustering site of the 52d Massachusetts Regiment (where their brothers are attached), and witness tens of thousands of bored soldiers encamped on trampled fields and hillsides. The men wile away time by fishing, playing cards, cooking, making music, repairing firearms, whittling, writing to loved ones, reading, smoking, drinking, and gambling—anything to avoid thinking of the impending orders that will return them to battle, possibly death. 

 

Instead of a joyful reunion, Maggie and Silky are accused of infiltrating a military operation with treasonous intent. They are escorted by an armed guard on a steam locomotive to Washington City to be charged and punished. The final scenes take place in wartime Washington, a young city newly awash with international opportunists—mostly hustlers and hucksters—with little evidence of the fervent patriotism Maggie and Silky feel for freeing the slaves and gaining equality for women.

 

[Tricia Martin]

 

1.    Story statement
Struggling to raise her adoptive son, a mother eventually learns to acknowledge her limitations and to examine her own upbringing, laden with unrealistic ideals. 
2.    Antagonistic force

Jeffrey first challenged the protagonist by revealing developmental delays. His mother, whose family prized intellect over all, struggled to accept that her idealized little boy would not excel in school like his sister. Later his misbehavior both at home and school further challenged her. Pursuing graduate studies in psychology, surely she could modify his unwillingness to comply with basic rules. But her efforts proved futile time and again. Eventually he gave in to drug addiction, forcing her to realize her inability to attain the outcome she wanted for him. 

3.    Proposed titles:

I’ve Never Been to Denver;  
Where Was the Map for Raising My Adoptive Son?

What my Adoptive Son Taught Me About Myself

Saving Jeffrey, Saving Me

Pushing the Boulder Uphill

4.    Comparables 

Beautiful Boy; A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction, by David Scheff, 2009

 Secret No More: A True Story of Hope for Parents With An Addicted Child, by Lisa Hillman, 2017

The Unlikely Village of Eden, by Emma Nadler, 2023

 

 

 

 

 

       by Lisa Hillman,  2017

5.    Hookline

When her adoptive son exhibits developmental delays and oppositional behavior, a mother is forced to examine her own failure to achieve unrealistic ideals and how self-loathing and anxiety affect her emotional well-being and her parenting.

6.    Genre:  Memoir 
Hypothetical scenario demonstrating core wound and conflict.

             Metal chairs scraped across the floor and clanged into each other as the students rearranged positions. I sat off at the side with a few other parents as the cacophony rose. Four teenage boys, two girls, all in baggy jeans, sat roughly in a circle tuning their instruments. The red bearded, heavy-set instructor moved among them, stopping at each music stand. He leaned over shoulders, in sotto voce threw in a comment here and there. 

Jeff had begged for a guitar and then for lessons. Naturally I took advantage of his eagerness. All of the students had individual lessons prior to being grouped into a makeshift band. Jeff seemed pleased with his progress, as was I. 

I took out paper and pen to start a grocery list while I waited. The teacher’s voice was suddenly louder. “What are you doing, Jeff?  We just worked on that line! What’s the matter with you?” My adrenaline surged. Jeff simply tried again.

“That’s better,” I heard. Jeff smiled. 

The group was to play Hurt So Bad at the performance in a few weeks. “Now let’s try playing it together,” said the teacher. They clambered up to the stage, the lead guitar came forward. I ached for my son. I so wanted him to get through this without being called out, embarrassed in front of his peers and their parents. And he did. It wasn’t a flawless performance as a whole, but he played his background, repetitive chords without a mishap. I saw him smile at me, and I smiled back. I realized I’d been barely breathing. I gulped in some air.

The students packed up their guitars. Jeff snapped his case shut, then came towards me. I couldn’t wait to get out the door. We got in the car and I immediately lit in. “We don’t have to come back here, Jeff. I’ll find another guitar teacher.”  

“What?  What are you talking about, Mom?”

“I don’t like the way he talked to you. There was no reason for him to be so harsh.”

“Mom!  It’s okay. He’s usually nice. And I’m doing good. I really want to stay!”  

    Mrs. Lindbergh enjoyed my piano lessons as much as I did. When I began at age 7, she often exclaimed about my talents. I must have glowed when she praised me. I caught on quickly, and though I fell considerably short of the recommended practice hours, I performed well during my weekly lessons. My first recital was easy, a one or two-page piece in a beginner’s book. Mrs. Lindbergh, and my parents, flooded me with compliments. 
    A year later as a third grader I started to question my abilities. Not just in piano, but in academic subjects as well. My position at the top of the class was being encroached upon. Was I really all that smart?
    That year I walked onto the recital stage, having memorized my piece, an abridged version of Liebestraum, by Franz Liszt. Two-thirds of the way into the piece my mind went blank. My fingers stiffened with fear, my face became flushed. After a brief pause I started over. I was able to improvise adequately to finish the piece without traversing the bars that had thrown me off track. I don’t’ know that I ever participated in a recital again. I continued my lessons with Mrs. Lindbergh. I cried when I had to say good-bye to her due to our move to Cocoa Beach. Once settled there, Mom found a piano teacher, Mrs. Zanitch, who tried to convince me to play in a recital but the thought of being on that stage elicited such anxiety in me that I refused. I loved the piano, I hated performing. 
    Staci was also an eager and adept learner at the piano. She was around 7 or 8 when her teacher told us about a Christmas performance that would involve parents who knew how to play. I could feel the heat rising in my neck but I didn’t want Staci to know I was afraid. I agreed to play a duet of Silent Night with my daughter. It was a very simple version, nothing difficult. We practiced every day leading up to the pageant and I felt fairly calm.  As we sat in the auditorium awaiting our turn my anxiety inched upwards. Then, my precious daughter leaned over to whisper in my ear, “Don’t mess up.”
    I role-played confidence. I don’t think she or the audience was aware that I stopped playing for a measure or two. I was able to regain control of my fingers and finish the piece along with her. 
    Outside of my awareness at the time, this is what played in the background during Jeff’s guitar lesson. My own paralyzing anxiety. Such an urge to escape.

7.  Setting

    There are two major settings in my memoir:

Tampa

We stood side-by-side at the water’s edge at dusk, both conjuring images of a future home. The aged orange grove on Lake Magdalene had outlived its fruit-bearing years, and had been mapped out for a new development. Practically adjacent to our current neighborhood, I had included the newly paved streets into my jogging course before considering the thought that we might live here. During the winter and early spring months the orange blossoms added to the sensual experience, the scent wafting through the air, the tiny white buds glimmering in the muted dawn light. 
On this day the orange trees were no more, the land having been cleared except for the pines and tall grasses at water’s edge. I could barely make out houses on the other side of the lake. What I could clearly see was the blue heron standing 20 feet or so away, her graceful neck bent toward the water as the stilt-like legs stepped elegantly, as if in a ballet. She found her minnow and deftly nabbed it into her long, slender bill, creating gentle ripples in the shallow water. I swatted at mosquitoes around my bare calves as I stood at the marshy shoreline, but their presence did not deter my growing affinity for this place.

Charlottesville, Virginia

    “Ahh, Charlottesville. Where time stood still,” said a colleague when she learned I was taking a position at UVa. Quite a contrast, geographically, from Florida. Instead of the uniform topography of Florida, tropical vegetation, sand, salt air (thus rusted cars), and extreme heat (thus blistering sunburns), Charlottesville is abundant in leafy oaks and maples, tulip poplars, dogwoods. So far above sea-level that we had a basement. We moved there in August, witnessed the multihued vibrancy of autumn, a few snowfalls of winter, and oh, the magical emergence of pastels in the spring!  I was enchanted by the appearance first of daffodils, then the Bradford pear trees bloomed. Shortly after, tulips, blue bells, dogwoods, peonies, and more reminded me of Tasha Tudor illustrations.

      The influence of Thomas Jefferson in Charlottesville is inextricable. He designed both his home, Monticello, and the University of Virginia, these iconic structures within a few miles of each other. His statue, along with those of James Madison and James Monroe, front the courthouse downtown. Red brick buildings, herringbone sidewalks, and serpentine garden walls, all two centures old, serve as backdrop for the historic town. 

 

[K LMHS Turner]

1.            Story statement:

Kay must come to terms with the fact that dragons once lived in our world, they are back, and she’ll need to work with them to save our world and theirs.

2.            Antagonist sketch:

Diseeodis is one of two dragons in line for king of Criloune when Queen Regina steps down. But he is not content with the way the legislative monarch has ruled for the last five hundred years since dragons left the human dimension with “their tails between their legs” refusing to embrace their natural power. He wants to punish humans for the dragon slaying of the 15th century and rule both dimensions as the new aristocratic and authoritative king. With the help of his oldest friend Karrikatan, the Plutocrats, the human scientist Professor Cunningham, and human’s nuclear weapons Diseeodis will take down everyone needed to achieve his goal for power and glory.

3.            Breakout titles:

1)      Currently registered at the library of congress as Dimensions of Dragons

2)      Wings of Time was the first draft/original title.

3)      Revenge of Dragocide

4.            Two smart comparable:

Genre: Alternate History: Fantasy Fiction

Readers who enjoy the “terrifically entertaining fantasy,” as described by Stephen King, of Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series, starting with His Majesty’s Dragon, will undoubtedly enjoy the adventurous fight to save our world in this blend of fantasy and history set modern time. Check out Dimensions of Dragons by Katherine Turner.

The joy of discovery and science illustrated in A Natural History of Dragons: A memoir by Lady Trent by Marie Brennan is echoed by the joy of discovery and history in Dimensions of Dragons by Katherine Turner. So, if you like your fantasy with epic adventure set in a time when dragons are no longer part the daily human experience, you need to read both of these books.

5.      Hook line (logline):

An overachieving young lady is taken to the dragon dimension, accused of helping the power seeking Diseeodis kill and overtake the human dimension, where she learns the truth about where dragons went and what is needed to survive their return.

I am not sure if the above works. It is based on the three-part plot points described below.

Part 1 – Kay Linda Taylor is an overachieving high school student with her sights on admission to an Ivy League school but her plans are derailed when Jiuristus, a dragon, enters her home accusing her of working with Diseeodis, another dragon, to open a portal from the dragon dimension allowing him to initiate his plan of revenge for atrocities of 15th century against dragons. Being plagued with nightmares she doesn’t believe the reality of the situation until she is taken to the dragon dimension and Queen Regina locks her up.

Part 2 – Kay tries to escape the dragon city of Criloune and the dragon dimension with help from the human tribe which was trapped when the dragon dimension was created but is disappointed by the tribe’s chief Boiorix’s lack of sympathy and help. Jiuristus realizes the power of his friendship with Kay may be the answer to stopping Diseeodis and saving both their worlds.

Part 3 – Diseeodis is disappointed when Physics Dr. Cunningham doesn’t open the portal allowing him access to the human dimension. He thought the stupid humans would be so easy to kill and rule. The only way to get his plan back on track is to rely on help from an autistic, genius, ten-year-old boy to gain access to the nuclear warheads he needs to realize his goal of power.

6.      Conditions for Kay’s inner conflict sketch:

Kay’s conflict starts when she is faced with a situation she cannot believe is happening. Jiuristus accuses her of opening a portal to another dimension and then takes her to that dimension. She can only believe it is another of her chronic nightmares. When she faces reality, in a room that looks a lot like a jail cell, she listened to Jiuristus’ stories of slayings, resulting in dragocide, due in large part to the first bestselling book, The Golden Legend, printed in 1450. He also describes the positive relationships between humans and dragons which created the dragon dimension. She develops friendships with Jiuristus and another dragon named Traleedon but later questions her trust and tries to escape to the human Kasinotob tribe for help. But she learns that just because you look alike doesn’t mean you are alike. She later learns that the dragon dimension suffers from a serious segregation of cultures that threaten everyone in the dragon dimension.

If Boiorix had helped her back to the human dimension, she would have gone back to her lifeless life of study, while trying to forget what she had learned about another dimension, putting her head in the sand, and hoping it would all go away. But knowing Kay she would never be able to forget and would wonder when the threat to humans would come.

In the end Kay, Liam, Jiuristus, their families and dragons from all walks of dragon life come together to save the world from the threat of a few aristocrats who seek power at all costs. If they had not come together many humans would have died and those that didn’t, would have been made dragon’s slaves.

7.      Sketch out setting:

Dimensions of Dragons starts in a quiet neighborhood in the southern town of Oxford Mississippi within walking distance of Ole Miss. Who would have thought a nuclear attack against the entire world would start in such a location but Diseeodis and his team plan to use a physics lab at the University to get access to destination sites needed to destroy humanity. The book also spends about half of its time in the dragon dimension in the city of Criloune, a city situated within a dormant volcano cauldron and the surrounding tunnels.

[Brady Hart]

1. ACT OF STORY STATEMENT

A teenager and his friends must save their city from an ancient creature and win a futuristic sports tournament at the same time.

 

2. ANTAGONIST (IDENTITY, GOALS, HOW IT OPPOSES THE PROTAG)

Who it is and how they oppose the protagonist’s goals:
A mysterious, almost supernatural being who haunts the far-future mediterranean city where the protagonist lives, disturbing the events of the Seagarden Cup, which in turn threatens the protagonist’s goal of 1) winning honor and status for his poor family (protag. goals) and 2) winning the resources needed to uncover an explanation as to why his father drowned himself six years ago along with seventeen other citizens (protag. secondary goals).

How the antagonist drives the plot:
At first, the being’s origin and goals are unknown (in fact, these are at the center of the mystery subplot of the book). In early chapters, the only evidence that points to the being even existing is the above-mentioned unsolved mass drowning event. But as the novel progresses, sparce sightings of strange creatures gradually become blatant attacks in the open by hideous humanoid monsters and before long, the city’s famous sports tournament is in jeopardy of being canceled (stakes). Frustrated at the authorities’ ineptitude in stopping the attacks, the protagonist and his friends take matters into their own hands and begin to use their animal avatars to investigate.

 

3. BREAKOUT TITLE
MY SAVAGE CELLS

Alternates:
JUNGLE MIND
HOLLOW HEADS

 

4. COMPS
The Triwizard Tournament (from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) meets Animorphs, with a healthy dose of Stranger Things-like horror energy.

 

5. LOGLINE
A star-gazing orphan boy determined to make something of himself uploads his mind into his late father's junky old gorilla avatar and enters his island's famous sports tournament just as hideous humanoid monsters begin terrorizing the games.

 

6. CORE WOUND/SECONDARY CONFLICTS
Deen, our protagonist, is a poor boy from a poor neighborhood. Deen’s father died poor, believing he’d never done anything of import in his life. Deen believes (whether he’ll admit it to himself or not) that as long as he is poor, he is worthless. He wishes to join the elites and make a name for his family that his dad would have been proud of. He plans to do this by achieving the dream he and his father shared—the dream of becoming a world-class Redknuckle player and taking his dad's old, beat-up gorilla avatar to The Seagarden Cup, an action-packed sports tournament that has made his techy island city famous. (protag. primary goals)

An added layer to this is that Deen has been unable to find closure and explanation for why his father—along with seventeen other people—mysteriously drowned himself one night during the tournament six years ago. The authorities couldn't solve the strange suicides and Deen feels that the exorbitant prize money and status that come with winning the tourney will allow him to finally uncover what happened that night. And what's worse, it starts looking like the very creature/being who is doing the attacks is present day might just be connected to the tragedy of that night. In other words, the evil that took Deen's father from him all those years ago is back for more.

Social conflict between the protag and other main characters:
Deen’s hated rich people his whole life. But when he ends up on a team run by a pair of rich sisters from a mansion at the crown of the island, his eyes are opened to the fact that demons prey on the powerful and powerless alike.

 

7. SETTING

THE CITY OF THALADIQA
Thaladiqa is an idyllic, techy, arts-focused city on a small island in former Greece in the year 2150. Roughly 100,000 inhabit the small island, scaling endless stairways and traversing the winding cobblestone footpaths every day. Behind them trail hover platforms that carry their “jackets,” animal avatars that can either be robotic or made of lab-grown flesh. Jackets are used for work and for playing sports both, and jacket technology is at the center of everything in the city. The type of jacket a person owns can signal anything from status to the line of work the person is in. There are even two major classes built around jackets.

The poorer Organic class is named for the organic, flesh and bone jackets owned by its members. From magpies to house cats to orangutans, Organic jackets are simply animal bodies that were grown in a machine and only come to life when controlled by a human mind. Organic class people typically have a job somewhere in the city that requires use of their jacket. For example, many farmers upload their minds into a blue jay or magpie jacket to harvest berries and nuts in a nimbler, airborne body that can complete the task quicker and more efficiently. Deen, our protagonist, works in the trainyard warehouses. He uploads into his gorilla jacket to move crates around using the animal’s brute strength.

The wealthier Bot class is named for the expensive robotic jackets that its members own. Robot jackets are more durable than flesh and bone jackets and last longer. Plus, their movements are precise and powerful, and they can be modified in a million ways. They are, however, expensive. Bot jackets have been gaining popularity in Spectrum Sports in recent years. They win a lot due to the aforementioned power, precision, durability and modifiable nature. Many teams have switched to using all bots. This has effectively priced out a large portion of the population from playing in the main sports, including Deen who comes from a poor organic class family.

 

TECHNOLOGIES
--The Mentac, a machine that enables a human mind to jump into a "jacket" (an avatar, or a second body) and control it while the human body rests.
--Regrow. Technology that involves printing living cells onto a body to heal wounds, change muscular structure, or even make cosmetic adjustments. One group of people in this society "change their faces like they change their clothing," as one character puts it. 
--Glints and the Spectrum field they render in. Anywhere in the city, indoors and outdoors, holographic light can be summoned with the flick of a finger. Screens with video feeds, text messages from a loved one, a page for surfing the net, these all can be displayed in bright colors in the air and interacted with by touch in the same way you've seen portrayed in various other sci fi stories. The twist here is the glints, little balls of colorful light that hover around in the air like fairies. No one knows who created glints or when—they’ve been floating around in the city’s air as long as anyone can remember. And no one knows exactly what they were designed for, either. Some think them a simple glitch or anomaly of the holographic field. Regardless, early citizens of Thaladiqa soon found a use for them: as the scoring mechanism in Spectrum sports.

 

SPORTS
Spectrum sports are a kind of sport that can be played only in the city of Thaladiqa. There are three individual sports: Redknuckle, a boxing/martial arts-style competition for great ape jackets. Gust Racing, an airborne obstacle course for bird jackets, and Crossbound, a parkour-style, city-wide treasure hunt played by big cat jackets. Glints are used as the scoring mechanism in all three sports: absorb too many red glints into your jacket's holographic suit of light and you lose. Deen, the protagonist, plays Redknuckle with his organic silverback gorilla jacket which he named “Kigo.” Apart from a robotic left arm that Deen built himself, Kigo looks and feels like a wild African gorilla. However, he’s not a real living animal—not in the natural way. Kigo is made of muscle and bone, yes, but he was grown in a lab cell by cell to be used in Spectrum sports. He has no intelligent mind in his brain until Deen uses his Mentac to upload his own.

The state of the sports favor the wealthy
Modern Spectrum sports are dominated by expensive robotic jackets owned exclusively by the robotic class. These jackets are faster and hit harder than the organic flesh-and-bone jackets like Deen's gorilla.

 

HORROR OF TECHNOLOGY
Like the sports do, the horror mystery of the book (and the horror villain himself) revolve around the in-world technologies. People are attacked by hideous creatures grown by the same Regrow machines that grow their organic animal jackets... A disgusting flesh-eating disease can befall someone who has changed their face one too many times... And the Mentac technology designed for transferring a mind into another body appears to have become a tool for torturing weak humans in a way that brings new meaning to the term "intrusive thoughts."

 

ALL IN ALL, A SOLARPUNK WORLD
The setting in my book can be described as “Solarpunk,” which is a newer subgenre of Science Fiction. Where Steampunk typically features architecture, tech and fashion from Victorian, steam-powered England, Solarpunk takes its visual inspiration from the Art Nouveau movement and imagines a clean energy society that has evolved beyond pollution and has (mostly) solved poverty. Where Cyberpunk portrays a heavily digital future in grungy, gritty mega cities, Solarpunk portrays peaceful cities of artistic people gardening alongside robots and attending colorful festivals in the evening. Solarpunk is utopian. It imagines a technologically advanced society in harmony with nature. Motifs are: plants/flowers/animals, organic shapes (picture curving ironwork and stained glass murals), flowing dresses and floral patterns. Afro-futurist art/imagery/fashion is often featured. One (imperfect) example of Solarpunk you’re probably familiar with: The nation of Wakanda in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[Elizabeth Laborde]

STORY STATEMENT

Find the will to survive amidst the dangers hidden so close

 

THE ANTAGONIST

Escalus in Measure for Measure claims that “Some rise by sin and others by virtue fall.” Certainly, this is true for Martin Stevens whose excess of virtue paves the path to ruin. After four years in Afghanistan, he personifies two of the three Marine Corps values: commitment and courage. These characteristics make him a reluctant antagonist. Martin does what he thinks is right, no matter the cost. After his mother’s cancer diagnosis, he is unswervingly devoted to her care. When his sister refuses to move back home to help, Martin won’t let up until she does the right thing.

The same goes for society at large. Seventeen of his brothers have sacrificed their lives for America, yet the civilians in the Mojave Desert couldn’t care less. They’re more interested in the next mall sale than a war paid for in human lives. When society deals one fateful blow after another to Martin, he decides to send a message. He will avenge his brother’s deaths by meting out justice Hammurabi style, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.  

 

BREAKOUT TITLE(s)

         Between Two Deserts   

         West of Registan

         A Desert No Longer

 

GENRE and COMPS

Suspense

Between Two Deserts melds The End of Everything's family-based crime drama with Notes on an Execution’s finely-crafted prose.

 

LOGLINE with conflict and core wound

Between Two Deserts, a suspense novel, is a modern reinterpretation of The Heart of Darkness told by two very different siblings. After her fiancé is killed overseas, eighteen-year-old Chelsea Stevens searches for a raison d'etre when her older brother returns from the Iraq War broken and disturbed. 

 

OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS

At the beginning of the novel, Chelsea learns that her fiancé has been killed in Iraq. Crushed with grief, she wants to end her life. But another part of her wants to find a reason to live. To do so, she must avoid the mother who has earned her major in alcoholism and her minor in manipulation. When Mom is diagnosed with aggressive pancreatic cancer, Chelsea’s caught in a major dilemma.

In the meantime, her brother, Martin, has become increasingly violent and erratic. Haunted by war memories he cannot escape, he’s pulled into a precipitous descent. Chelsea wants to save him, but doesn’t really know how to help. Chelsea’s primary conflict, then, relates to family. How much should she give up to save her brother? Is her family worth her life? Are they worth her dreams? 

*****

In terms of the secondary conflict, grief is a ubiquitous presence in Chelsea’s life. One night, she joins her friend at a nightclub hoping to forget the past. Chelsea winds up getting drugged and date raped – pictures of the debacle get posted online. Strangers tear her apart on Reddit and other sites. Ashamed, Chelsea walls herself off from a world adeptly skilled at dishing out pain.

When a new friend continues to show up in unexpected places, Chelsea is suspicious of his motives. Though he seems like a genuinely good person, how can she be sure? Her brother doesn’t like the new guy, which adds fuel to the primary conflict. The secondary conflict, then, relates to love and trust – should Chelsea allow herself to get close to someone again? Is the gift of love worth the potentially substantial cost? 

 

SETTING

The Mojave Desert has no clear beginning and no clear end. Cannibalistic creatures like the desert wren thrive in this harsh environment. Flora, such as cottonwoods, brittlebush, and yucca dot the landscape – plants tough enough to withstand brutal afternoon sandstorms and frozen high desert winters.

In this waterless place, the sun is a kind of Leviathan. Even when not directly overhead, it bears down like an enemy, taking no prisoners. During twilight the cicadas emit a rhythmic whir. They gossip about the sun, the overlord hidden on the other side of the world. In celebration of their freedom, mad dogs and coyotes howl into the big wide sky full of stars.

[LBS]

I am struggling with choosing which two of my books to work on for the conference so have done the assignments for both.

Thank you!

 

Story Statement:

1.) Rory (Aurora) is returning to Alaska to confront the family she believes abandoned her as a child and prove that her mother didn’t die of an overdose- that she was murdered by Rory’s father. Rory believes all her fatalistic flaws stem from this injustice and that by righting the wrongs of her past she will finally “fix” herself.

2.) Annalisa wants to stop being the lowest level family member in her wealthy, political family no matter the cost.

The Antagonist:

1.) While the true antagonist is Rory's situation and her behavior, to Rory everyone is an antagonist. 
Rory’s ex, a married Senator who is also her boss and who recently ended their three year relationship as he is trying to make things work with his wife represents her failure. She continues to try and contact him despite his distance and her job and career are threatened by his behavior.
Rory’s siblings and Father, who she “knows” are lying about what happened the night Rory’s Mother died of what they claim was an overdose. They are threats to Rory's purpose and are clearly trying to mislead her.
And Rory’s grandmother- the overbearing, frail older woman who raised Rory (believing it to be a second chance after what happened with her own daughter) and who won’t leave Rory alone after she’s flown across the country.

2.) The antagonist is truly Annalisa’s father.- however later her siblings are revealed to also be antagonists. 

He is unnamed, known only as “Father"- a wealthy investor who inherited a monumental fortune from his own father who owned a logging business. His business decisions when he was young were foolhardy and he has lost over ⅓ of the funds he inherited, but once he got involved in politics and bribery he found more success in investments and currently has enormous stock in real estate. He is average height, somewhat heavy, and in his early seventies. He was once quite strong but, due to his lifestyle choices, his health is failing and he is now quite weak, which is why in Annalisa’s memories he was physically abusive with his hands but now he resorts to wearing boots (in order to kick his dogs) and slamming things that are expensive/easily shattered in order to terrify his children in the same way as physical violence once did. He has light blue eyes, dark hair, and a sallow/false tan complexion- the family has long lost roots in Italy and he considers himself Italian despite being less than 10% at this point and them having no actual Italian traditions (why all the girls have Italian names). He has dark hair that he dyes black- naturally it is turning a white/gray but he denies this and mocks his sons for their own sprouting gray hairs while claiming that his hair never went gray. His voice is deep and loud, and he uses it to speak over others- raising and lowering his voice at unpredictable intervals to keep everyone on their toes. He is fastidious about his hygiene and wears excessive cologne, but is a disgusting eater. He belittles his children and has his entire life, convincing them they are incapable of success without him which has crushed their self esteem and, as was the Father’s intention, many of his children are complete failures who have never tried to leave but accept the positions he has thrust upon them. In this way they have become dependent on him in many ways. His children who have left/found success have been sabotaged by their Father- for example during the eldest daughter’s divorce Father supported her unfaithful husband, actively working against her to prevent her from obtaining custody or alimony, then ensured she was fired from her work so that she had no choice but to move back in with Father and help take care of him- he sees this as a fitting punishment as to Father all people are tools for him to use as he sees fit, most especially his children.

Breakout Title:

1.) Astray, Following Lily, Aurora Rising
2.) The Family that Lies Together, A Family Dinner, Try and Leave

Comparables:

1.) The Great Alone/The Silent Patient

2.) Succession/The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

 

Core Wound/Primary Conflict/Hook Line:

1.) A young woman who lost her mother as a child and was adopted by her maternal grandmother returns to Alaska to confront the family she believes abandoned her and prove that her mother didn’t die of an overdose- that her mother was in fact murdered, and by the young woman’s father.

2.) A media famous career politician details the family dinner that changed her life- the night she entered her family home hoping to finally climb the warped social ladder her family lives on and accomplished this goal through betrayal, revenge, and choosing a side in murder.

 

Other Matters of Conflict:

1.) Rory is in direct conflict with her grandmother, as her grandmother does not want her to be in Alaska and refuses to leave Rory alone. Rory is in conflict with the family she has just reunited with for several reasons- she believes she knows them to be lying about what happened the night Rory’s mother died, and Rory has convinced herself that because she has escaped Alaska and the poverty she associates with the location she is better than her siblings, and she is shocked to find that this is not the case. 
Rory is also the “other woman” in a relationship with a man (her boss) who has recently ended things- and when she discovers her own brother is struggling to heal his family after his own infidelity Rory is forced to confront the role she has played in another family’s life for the first time. (Secondary conflict)
Rory responds to all of this conflict with reluctance and aggression in the beginning. After several days with her family she begins to relax but then her grandmother unexpectedly arrives and she is once again in conflict with everyone as she demands her grandmother be thrown out and her sister refuses.
Rory’s continued denial of what has happened to her mother (that her mother was a drug addict and drug dealer) is made especially clear when she meets with the detective that worked her mother’s case and discovers that the memories that are resurfacing during her time in Alaska showcase a young Rory who didn’t understand the trauma of her surroundings- something adult Rory can see all too clearly. Rory is at first in shock, then tries to run, then attempts suicide only to change her mind when she realizes how her death would affect others- from the family she has just reconnected with to the people in the other car she almost crashes into. She grows from a selfish person consumed with “fixing” herself with self-cruelty and short-term vices to a woman who can empathize with others and see where mistakes become opportunities to grow and change.

2.) Annalisa is in direct conflict with her Father and every one of her siblings. Annalisa is the youngest sister and has always been considered unintelligent due to her kindness and general naivety (and admittedly her below average intellect). She had the least time with their mother and had little affection for the at times hysterical woman, and so has great respect and desperate love for her Father (as he was the only parent she ever really knew) but who she also resents and is repulsed by. Annalisa’s brothers are opposites, her older brother being arrogantly pompous (excessively masculine) and demeaning to her and her younger brother (closeted homosexual who has turned cruel due to repression by Father) is desperate to be away from the Father but, like all the Father’s children, he is dependent on his Father’s income and the lifestyle is afford. Annalisa’s sisters are very similar intellectually, although opposites physically, and are/were powerhouse in their chosen careers (law and higher education). By comparison Annalisa, who has never had a job outside of her part time work she does for her Father, can’t conceive a child and lives off of her husband’s income (who is also employed by the Father)- she is therefore considered a complete failure by everyone in her family. In the story Annalisa’s eldest sister, who was once the favorite, has recently been knocked down to the position of servant in the Father’s home and Annalisa takes great pleasure in establishing herself in this new conflict as above her sister after so many years of being looked down upon. 
A secondary conflict is that of Annalisa versus her husband, Derek. Derek and Annalisa are loving partners, but their dependence on Annalisa’s father for income and their interdependence and enmeshment with her siblings cause disagreements concerning what to divulge to each other and what to sacrifice. In the end, Annalisa realizes she cannot let Derek know all she has done because for him to love her in her evil action would be him approving of what she has done/corrupting him and she cannot allow that. She chooses to lie to him and while she is fairly confident he realizes the lie he chooses to go along with it and she chooses to pretend she doesn’t see his realization.

Annalisa is equal parts terrified of and fascinated by conflict, as she was raised in it and sees it as an opportunity to learn and perhaps plot. Annalisa reacts to moments of outright conflict in the story at first with hesitancy (as she has no bearings for why her sister has returned and isn’t sure if her sister is an ally or foe) but as the night progresses Annalisa grows more and more confident- first telling off her husband, than her sister, and finally being the only sibling willing to wall up the murdered family members alongside her Father in exchange for her sisters baby.
Annalisa views all conflict as an opportunity to rise above where she has been, and observes and tries to connect the dots of everyone’s behavior throughout the story. This hunger for conflict is clearly inherited from her Father and serves her well later in life when she begins a career in politics.

Setting:

1.) Rory’s story being set in Alaska (in my hometown) serves as a constant reminder of how Rory thinks she knows things, when truly she has formed her own opinions without any basis in reality (foreshadowing her confidence in what happened to her mother vs. reality.) Rory’s return to Alaska showcases this difference between her expectations (her delusions) and reality. She imagines Alaska to be a snow buried land and her estranged family to be low class idiots, and instead she finds a large city and her siblings doing arguably better than her.
The homes of Rory’s siblings showcase full lives- Christmas decorations and pets and children's cubbies and mugs collected from around the world- it is a stark contrast to the cold, sterile home Rory keeps. Rory is at first repulsed by the noise and mess as they are proof of chaos/imperfections, but eventually finds comfort in the ease of not having to be perfect all the time. 
The mountains she climbs with her sister are symbolic of the peaks and valleys of Rory’s own life and parallel her disagreements with her sister. When she learns that her mother was a drug addict, and that she is an illegitimate child to a man who has no interest in being a father to her, Rory isolates herself on a frozen, isolated mountain where she thinks no one will find her. When Rory returns to the valley and the trailer where she was raised, the bitter and harsh environment illuminates how far she has come and the true squalor she was living in, the harshness of the winter when she is there a clear indicator of the barrenness of her own life, and of how little she had as a child. Alaska is the perfect setting as the difficulty of living there is challenging but ultimately extremely rewarding and worth it, a lesson Rory learns about relationships and her own life.

2.) The setting for Annalisa’s story is a nondescript city- important as I want Annalisa’s political presence to not be contained by any specific state and to make evident how universal this family's deviousness truly is- where her family’s wealth and connections have given her father an exalted existence where he can afford to bribe for the life he wishes. The entire book exists in either Annalisa’s or her family’s home- Annalisa’s home a monument to consumption and unnecessary spending (the most expensive this and best upgrade that) and her father’s a modern gothic horror of blasé tastelessness with floor after floor of empty rooms and a winding cellar and basement that house everything from illegal documents waiting to be shredded to an enormous dog chamber to keep her father’s three untrained and abused show quality golden retrievers far and away from her father’s actual life. The house setting serves to showcase how trapped the characters are in their own family’s past- in the monument their father has built to himself. No one can escape, as several members of the family still live in the house itself, and others are to be buried within (or already are). In the end Annalisa confesses to still living in the house, even though she herself is now in her seventies and her father died decades ago. 
The guest rooms with no guests, the library with no books, the kitchen with no real food, all reinforce the story’s message of people without scruples, hearts or consciences who want to grow larger and more grand only for the sake of impressing and intimidating others and not for any real or moral purpose.
 

[Aida Zilbergleyt]

1. THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT
Love's, protagonist, mission is to heal Callers and not be caught by the Dark Guardian, Locus. But if caught, defeat him. 

2. THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT
Locus, the Dark Guardian, can’t stand biologicals of any sort. He treats them as batteries, with no discriminating between children or adults––it is just a flash that emanates energy. Aggrieved and angry, Locus wishes to be left alone. But when forced into a world of living, he becomes a destructive force; when enraged, he leaves nothing in his stead. Locus insists that he is rather misunderstood.

3. CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE
Current title: The Fledgling (don't like it)
Possible titles: Guardians’ Persona Grata or Cosmos Is My Cage
Note: I wrote haiku poetry as an intro to each chapter, so the Cosmos is my cage is the line from my haiku

4. DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES
Micaiah Johnson "The Space Between Worlds"
Rebecca Roanhorse "Trail of Lightning"

* In both novels, the protagonists are young women who mature too quickly because of their past hardships, present personal challenges, and loneliness. But they adopt, they’re fluid. My protagonist, Love, has to adopt on the spot. How? She forces herself to question her actions, her beliefs, her aspirations. She’s willing to change her attitude and the way of thinking.

* "Trail of Lightning" is written in both speculative (the flood, drastic changes to Earth’s postapocalyptic landscape) and urban fantasy genre, while "The Space Between Worlds" is a speculative (multiverse and doppelgängers) and sci-fi novel. My novel is also a cross-genre novel––speculative and urban science fiction.
Note: I Googled "urban sci-fi/science fiction" but only got results for "urban fantasy". Should it be "atmospheric science fiction"?

* As in my novel, there are mystery lines unfold throughout both stories and protagonists’ journeys. The mystery must be solved, if not the lives will be lost.

5. CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT
My logline: A half-truth was whispered in someone’s ear, unleashing a chain of events that forced a desperate, guilt-ridden human into an alien conflict and enraged Dark Guardian into destructive mode of epic proportions.

6. OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS
My book's conflicts are.
PRIMARY: As she was growing up, Love was told that her purpose was to serve the Dark Guardian for the rest of her life. Now she is running away from him, and she intends to keep running at any cost. Who wants to be a slave?
SECONDARY: Darius blames himself for the death of many women, and his guilt is eating him alive. He admits to himself that he is a time-bomb.
SECONDARY: Driven by a need to survive, Locus devours humans’ energy and hurts people with no comprehending or consideration that he’s hurting sentients––be it children or adults or pets. But when he sees a tortured, undercover cop inside drug-dealer’s dungeon, Locus feels a deep connection to that tortured sentient, because cop’s torturing and sacrifice is unjust––sadism is indulgence of psychopaths. Locus is enraged by it. The key here is unjustified cruelty, because from Locus's perspective, that he inflicted pain on people in the building earlier isn't a torture but his need to feed to survive.

7. THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING
SETTING 1: my first chapter opens with the character witnessing atrocities on different worlds. Each world is unique in its socio-economic, cultural, and technological development.
SETTING 2: the character wakes up inside the asteroid that carries him through space. The asteroid is infested with creatures and things which distract the character from his task and he almost misses his destination.
SETTING 3: the characters are in Bronx, in the old shed that barely stands fighting gravity; they jump on to a roof of the construction-in-progress building to finish what they started in the shed.
SETTING 4: the characters are at the Brooklyn Army Terminal during the night, first outside, on the parking lot, then inside the atrium with all kinds of spooky shadows and forms. Sure enough, the glass ceiling of the atrium cracks and breaks down with the heavy shards falling on to the characters, they’re trying to outrun the deadly glass-fall.
SETTING 5: the character is inside an old, shabby apartment building with barely working lights, weird smells, dirty walls and floors. There, rats and cockroaches are having a party.
SETTING 6: after midnight, the characters are on the dark alley that leads to NYU dorms. It’s hard to see as the street lights are off due to energy saving time-out. A cop materializes out of nowhere.
SETTING 7: the characters are inside NYU lab, packed by a very expensive bio-engineering tech; the lab is monitored and they have to get out just in time not get caught on camera.
SETTING 8: the character is inside a psychopathic drug-dealer’s layer––a basement level of an abandoned chemical plant outside NYC. It’s a poorly lit place with several fire-protection-industrial-metal doors located on opposite sides of the basement, a dozen of sinks, metal shelves and tables, etc., and a chair in the middle of the room, under a single lamp. The floor around the chair is stained with old and fresh blood.
SETTING 9: the characters are inside a mechanical car, Triumph TR7, and as the car’s instruments are being exposed to electromagnetic energy, they start misbehaving, but not breaking.
SETTING 10: a nested story inside the novel takes readers into an alien world called Lapeya, where a larva-like creatures live inside an ancient forest surrounded by endless Oceans.

 

1. THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT
Love's, protagonist, mission is to heal Callers and not be caught by the Dark Guardian, Locus. But if caught, defeat him. 

2. THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT
Locus, the Dark Guardian, can’t stand biologicals of any sort. He treats them as batteries, with no discriminating between children or adults––it is just a flash that emanates energy. Aggrieved and angry, Locus wishes to be left alone. But when forced into a world of living, he becomes a destructive force; when enraged, he leaves nothing in his stead. Locus insists that he is rather misunderstood.

3. CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE
Current title: The Fledgling (don't like it)
Possible titles: Guardians’ Persona Grata or Cosmos Is My Cage
Note: I wrote haiku poetry as an intro to each chapter, so the Cosmos is my cage is the line from my haiku

4. DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES
Micaiah Johnson "The Space Between Worlds"
Rebecca Roanhorse "Trail of Lightning"

* In both novels, the protagonists are young women who mature too quickly because of their past hardships, present personal challenges, and loneliness. But they adopt, they’re fluid. My protagonist, Love, has to adopt on the spot. How? She forces herself to question her actions, her beliefs, her aspirations. She’s willing to change her attitude and the way of thinking.

* "Trail of Lightning" is written in both speculative (the flood, drastic changes to Earth’s postapocalyptic landscape) and urban fantasy genre, while "The Space Between Worlds" is a speculative (multiverse and doppelgängers) and sci-fi novel. My novel is also a cross-genre novel––speculative and urban science fiction.
Note: I Googled "urban sci-fi/science fiction" but only got results for "urban fantasy". Should it be "atmospheric science fiction"?

* As in my novel, there are mystery lines unfold throughout both stories and protagonists’ journeys. The mystery must be solved, if not the lives will be lost.

5. CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT
My logline: A half-truth was whispered in someone’s ear, unleashing a chain of events that forced a desperate, guilt-ridden human into an alien conflict and enraged Dark Guardian into destructive mode of epic proportions.

6. OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS
My book's conflicts are.
PRIMARY: As she was growing up, Love was told that her purpose was to serve the Dark Guardian for the rest of her life. Now she is running away from him, and she intends to keep running at any cost. Who wants to be a slave?
SECONDARY: Darius blames himself for the death of many women, and his guilt is eating him alive. He admits to himself that he is a time-bomb.
SECONDARY: Driven by a need to survive, Locus devours humans’ energy and hurts people with no comprehending or consideration that he’s hurting sentients––be it children or adults or pets. But when he sees a tortured, undercover cop inside drug-dealer’s dungeon, Locus feels a deep connection to that tortured sentient, because cop’s torturing and sacrifice is unjust––sadism is indulgence of psychopaths. Locus is enraged by it. The key here is unjustified cruelty, because from Locus's perspective, that he inflicted pain on people in the building earlier isn't a torture but his need to feed to survive.

7. THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING
SETTING 1: my first chapter opens with the character witnessing atrocities on different worlds. Each world is unique in its socio-economic, cultural, and technological development.
SETTING 2: the character wakes up inside the asteroid that carries him through space. The asteroid is infested with creatures and things which distract the character from his task and he almost misses his destination.
SETTING 3: the characters are in Bronx, in the old shed that barely stands fighting gravity; they jump on to a roof of the construction-in-progress building to finish what they started in the shed.
SETTING 4: the characters are at the Brooklyn Army Terminal during the night, first outside, on the parking lot, then inside the atrium with all kinds of spooky shadows and forms. Sure enough, the glass ceiling of the atrium cracks and breaks down with the heavy shards falling on to the characters, they’re trying to outrun the deadly glass-fall.
SETTING 5: the character is inside an old, shabby apartment building with barely working lights, weird smells, dirty walls and floors. There, rats and cockroaches are having a party.
SETTING 6: after midnight, the characters are on the dark alley that leads to NYU dorms. It’s hard to see as the street lights are off due to energy saving time-out. A cop materializes out of nowhere.
SETTING 7: the characters are inside NYU lab, packed by a very expensive bio-engineering tech; the lab is monitored and they have to get out just in time not get caught on camera.
SETTING 8: the character is inside a psychopathic drug-dealer’s layer––a basement level of an abandoned chemical plant outside NYC. It’s a poorly lit place with several fire-protection-industrial-metal doors located on opposite sides of the basement, a dozen of sinks, metal shelves and tables, etc., and a chair in the middle of the room, under a single lamp. The floor around the chair is stained with old and fresh blood.
SETTING 9: the characters are inside a mechanical car, Triumph TR7, and as the car’s instruments are being exposed to electromagnetic energy, they start misbehaving, but not breaking.
SETTING 10: a nested story inside the novel takes readers into an alien world called Lapeya, where a larva-like creatures live inside an ancient forest surrounded by endless Oceans.

...I forgot to add one more Setting in the 7th assignment.

SETTING 11: A hidden galaxy of Time governed by Ak'Krone––Time Guardian. Ak'Krone calls it time-space. The time-space is a fine network of time lines. The time-lines are in constant movement, changing hues as they cross and branch out. As if countless strings of invisible instruments, time-lines burst with sounds and colors as they arrive to a contact with each other. Only Ak'Krone can see and hear these graphic melodies.

-----------

Also, I am grateful for these 7 assignments. I've never done anything like that before and thought they were extremely helpful for improving my manuscript. I even experienced a few paradigm-shifts along the way. I'm looking forward to the conference and more learning.

Sincerely,
Aida

[JA Wilders]

1. Statement

Unite to save Goat Head County from snow elementals and goblin archmagi.

 

2. 

In my dark fantasy novel, the central antagonist is a monster known by several names: Umbreytandis, King Fetidmire, and Ulcer. He is a royal goblin archmage and a shapeshifter.

Backstory: After losing a war against the elemental kingdoms, he and his wife fled Archlanna through a demon portal, seeking refuge on Earth in a small town near the Teton River in eastern Ohio. In 1976, FoxRunner Wildlife Protection Agency captured his wife and imprisoned her in the Alpha Cell Complex, igniting the King Fetidmire’s unwavering thirst for revenge.

The Plot: the king's scheme revolves around freeing his queen and building an army of cursed humans, transforming them into monstrosities—amalgamations of snaking threads with venomous fangs. He wields power over a cast of loyal servants, who are willing to sacrifice themselves to further his goals. After his queen is free, the contagion begins, infecting more and more victims and exponentially expanding his army. All the while, as a shapeshifter, he is posing as a FoxRunner employee, manipulating the very agency tasked with hunting him down.

The narrative opens with the murder of Dr. Emmanuel, the escape of Female Fetidmire 1976, and the cursed assault of Alice Parx’s father. Additional antagonists—including Amalgamation X, Princess Nieil of the Tempestas, and General Meyer—collide with the protagonists in a web of conspiracies. Many main characters, while pursuing their own notions of righteousness, hinder and antagonize one another; the novel probes the complex reality of good vs. evil, immersing readers in a world where loyalties and motivations blur.

 

3. 

Alpha Cell Complex: Curse of the Fetidmire

Foxrunner Wildlife Protection Agency: Chasing the Chiónifey

Monsters Among Us

 

4. 

My dark fantasy novel, rooted in the real world and imbued with supernatural elements, compares to a range of contemporary works by authors such as Laini Taylor, Sarah J. Maas, Grady Hendrix, and Leigh Bardugo.

Much like Laini Taylor's Muse of Nightmares, my novel melds contemporary settings with fantastical elements. Taylor's lyrical prose and rich world-building align with my narrative's lush and immersive storytelling. Both novels explore themes of identity, love, and the intersection between different worlds. Readers who appreciate the emotional depth and fantastical elements in Taylor's work may find my novel captivating.

House of Earth and Blood, the first book in Sarah J. Maas's Crescent City series, shares similarities with my novel in its mature themes, complex characters, and intricate world-building. Similarly to my work, Maas delves into personal growth, relationships, and the pursuit of justice amid a backdrop of magic and mystery. Readers who are drawn to the action-packed plots and character-driven narratives in Maas's series might also find my novel engaging.

I know the prompt said to "develop two" but I thought it best to add two more, in order to better capture the market for my novel. Audiences that enjoyed Grady Hendrix's How to Sell a Haunted House will also dig my novel, which explores grief as a central theme and infuses elements of horror into the narrative. Additionally, my protagonist, Alice Parx, will resonate with readers who appreciate Leigh Bardugo's protagonists, like the one in Ninth House. Both Alice and Galaxy Stern (from Ninth House) embark on transformative journeys from initial turmoil and soon discover supernatural powers, while delving deeper into a secret organization.

In summary, my dark fantasy novel compares to other contemporary works within the dynamic landscape of the larger fantasy market, offering readers a compelling blend of supernatural elements, rich character development, world-building, mystery, horror, and immersive storytelling.

 

5. 

Dr. Eugene Roth strives to clear his name after his mentor's murder, plunging into a race against time to expose a conspiracy of goblin shapeshifters and halt the encroaching invasion of cursed monstrosities.

Betrayed by her own comrades, Chief Nitta wages a battle to protect her family and unmask a hidden enemy, as her hometown becomes the frontline in a desperate struggle for survival and redemption.

Haunted by her brother's suicide, Alice Parx becomes an unlikely savior, transformed by an icy enchantment and battling cursed monstrosities to save the world.

 

6. 

Internal conflicts form the core of my novel, shaping the destinies of my protagonists. In this exploration, we'll delve into how inner conflicts and secondary conflicts play out in the lives of Dr. Eugene Roth, Alice Parx, and Chief Shira Nitta, shedding light on the tumultuous journeys that will resonate with readers. The scenarios below are from my novel and not really the hypotheticals the prompt had asked for, since I figured it was better to say how the inner conflicts actually play out in my novel.

Dr. Eugene Roth

Twenty-eight-year-old Dr. Eugene Roth is a newcomer at the FoxRunner Wildlife Protection Agency, striving to establish his position within an organization predominantly staffed through nepotism. Having grown up as an orphan, he has always yearned for the bonds of family and trust. Many of his colleagues, hailing from esteemed family dynasties within the agency, regard him with skepticism. He often questions the worth of his sacrifices, fearing he may never climb the ladder or gain recognition at FoxRunner

His inner turmoil intensifies when Chief Nitta accuses him of murdering Dr. Emmanuel, leading to his confinement in the Alpha Cell Complex, along with the scorn of friends and colleagues alike. Despite these dire circumstances, he persists in his quest to investigate the murder himself. He knows that if he doesn't uncover the truth behind the escaped prisoner, and who masterminded the scheme, humanity itself might be at risk of destruction.

Alice Parx

Sixteen-year-old Alice Parx's older brother, Miles, committed suicide two months before the events of my novel. She bears a profound burden, haunted by the belief that she could have saved him, tormented by her perceived mistakes. This conflict intensifies when she attempts to save her father from a fetidmire monster's attack in the river valley. The monster speaks to her in Miles's voice, and as its snaking strands part to reveal his face, Alice confronts the harsh reality that her older brother, Miles, has become cursed. Throughout the novel, Miles assumes the role of the fetidmire army's leader and serves as King Ulcer's right-hand man, driven to spread the curse to as many victims as possible.

As the plot unfolds, Alice not only battles these creatures but also makes deals with the snow elementals to save her cursed family members. She firmly believes that Miles and her father aren't entirely lost or beyond redemption. Despite Chief Nitta's objections and against seemingly insurmountable odds, she places her trust in the snow elementals and embarks on a quest to find a cure for her loved ones, unable to accept the possibility that they might be lost forever.

Chief Shira Nitta

Chief Shira Nitta, the Supreme Commander of the FoxRunner Wildlife Protection Agency, grapples with her dual roles. Her responsibilities are unequivocal: protect her agents and uphold the mission to shield the world from supernatural threats. Yet, her unwavering commitment to safeguarding Alice Parx (her daughter's best friend since kindergarten), whom she cherishes like her own family, poses a potential threat to everything she holds dear.

Arriving at the scene in the river valley, Chief Nitta discovers that Alice has eluded FoxRunner agents. Worse still, two of their soldiers have perished in a confrontation with the snow elementals. Private Carvel, who also came under attack, alleges that Alice communicated with and aided the snow elementals. FoxRunner protocol calls for Alice to be apprehended and executed. Chief Nitta now stands at a crossroads, torn between her obligations as a leader and her unwavering loyalty to the Parx family. She alters FoxRunner's hunting strategy to protect Alice, potentially jeopardizing the mission and her agents' safety. After the fetidmire monsters massacre her troops on the river valley, she must confront General Meyer, who believes she is the goblin shapeshifter behind the catastrophe.

To summarize, these internal conflicts are not just narrative devices; they are the heartbeat of my novel, the driving force behind my characters' actions and choices. Dr. Eugene Roth's quest for recognition, Alice Parx's journey through grief, and Chief Shira Nitta's delicate balancing act between love and duty offer a rich tapestry of human emotions and dilemmas.

7.

Langston Heights: The bustling hub of Goat Head County, Langston Heights is a resort that offers ski slopes, cozy cabins, and a sprawling main building with amenities like restaurants, cafes, spas, fitness centers, and indoor pools. Its Grand Ballroom with a stain-glass dome roof serves as a nightclub.

Clansdale Township: A charming downtown, dotted with boutique shops, maple syrup specialty stores, ski supply outlets, and other places catering to guests at Langston Heights; suburban neighborhoods where kids ride their bikes and houses go all out, decorating for Christmas. Nice place, except when FoxRunner military men throw sleep grenades through your windows and cart you off for memory manipulation.

Lyons Lake: This expansive lake boasts docks with eateries, carnival games, and stalls renting ice skates. Hidden beneath its waters is Chief Shira Nitta's secret laboratory. She has lakefront property, a beautiful mansion with a garden, the perfect place to raise her two daughters; it sure is a bummer when General Meyer obliterates it with a forchanitric war machine.

Ramanah Vacation Retreats: A small community of homes for summer rentals. The Parx family lives here year-round (Jerald Parx is the groundskeeper). In winter, the whole place is basically hibernating, the narrow roads dark, icy, and dangerous. Blanket of snow over the pools, tennis courts, soccer field, and basketball court serve as a reminder of the seasonal shutdown. A low fence separates them from the Goat Head Mountain Nature Reserve, federally prohibited land.

Goat Head Mountain Nature Reserve: A hotbed of supernatural activity. Central features include the knoll for Parx family picnics, the boulder Alice painted a mural across on Mother’s Day, the ridge where Miles painted landscapes of the river valley, Cauldron Cave, and the frozen waterfall that is actually a demon portal to another world. People are forbidden from entering, under penalty of law, but the Parx family does anyway because freedom to the people and screw the government, am I right?

The Alpha Cell Complex: below Langston Heights is a prison for supernatural monsters, run by a secret organization of monster hunters, FoxRunner Wildlife Protection Agency.

After passing through security and riding down the elevator, you enter the atrium. Offices for department heads, Chief Nitta, and General Meyer, mess hall, and cubicles for worker bees stem off from here.

Then, you have the prison wings. Sort of a museum style, especially because the monsters in the main galleries are meant for display in their glass cases, like trophies.

There are six categories of supernatural monster, each with their own wing and main gallery: Elven, Sprite, Goblin, Beast, Serpent, and Arthropod. Each has a unique design and monstrous inhabitants, along with lab equipment for running experiments and throughout each wing are dungeon doors. To access a dungeon door, you need higher level security clearance. The main galleries have peaceful, nonfatal pets, basically; behind those dungeon doors are the vicious collectibles, caught by Master Hunters.

[Courtney McColl]

 

Revised 9/25 

 

 

[Preston]

[MeganDaniels]

[Steve Caldas]

The Solomon Text

By Stephen J. Caldas

 

. . . the dead who are already dead are more fortunate than the living who are still alive; but better than both is he who has not yet been . . .

                                            King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 4:2, The Bible

 

1.      Story Statement:

In the face of constant harassment and death threats, historian Paul Boudreaux tries to authenticate a cryptic manuscript he’s discovered that was allegedly written by King Solomon, and which seems to endorse abortion. But a fragment that could clarify everything is missing, and the search is on to find it…

 

2.      Antagonists:

Reverend Edmond Drucker is a proud, ambitious, and fiery televangelist and anti-abortion crusader who heads the 5,000 strong Bible Tabernacle Assembly in Middleton, Louisiana. His loyal daughter Polly, the accountant for Drucker’s national television empire, enrolls in the doctoral program in history at nearby North-Central Louisiana State University, where she is assigned as a graduate assistant to Professor Paul Boudreaux. Paul discovers a  manuscript fragment in a batch of documents unearthed from beneath a Parisian monastery which was allegedly written by King Solomon--who identifies himself as a black man--and whose cryptic writing seems to endorse abortion. Paul recruits Polly (an expert in biblical languages) in his efforts to authenticate the manuscript, and together the two amass strong textual evidence suggesting that the manuscript is indeed a missing part of the Book of Ecclesiastes. When Reverend Drucker learns about the Solomon text research he vehemently attacks Paul from the pulpit as a mouthpiece for Satan, orders his daughter to abandon her graduate assistantship, and orchestrates a relentless campaign of protest and harassment against Paul while pressuring the university to fire him. Meanwhile, Polly begins to question the fanatical fundamentalism of her father, prompting a falling out with him that only increases Drucker’s desire to crush Paul by any means possible.

A second major antagonist is Colonel Prichard, leader of a violent antisemetic, white-supremacist group also headquartered in Middleton. Unable to accept the possibility that King Solomon was a black African (which would mean that Jesus Christ was also descended from black Africans), he targets for death Paul and his Jewish collaborator (and mentor from NYU) David Goldenberg.

 

3.      Breakout Title:

The Solomon Text

 

4.       Genre and Comparables:

Genre: Upmarket Fiction/Thriller

Comps: The Word by Irving Wallace; The Messiah Matrix by Kenneth Atchity

 

5.       Hook line:

A disillusioned former novitiate for the Catholic priesthood becomes a history professor who discovers what appears to be a missing piece of the Bible which seems to endorse abortion, unleashing angry forces bent on destroying him before he can validate the manuscript and find a missing fragment which could clarify everything.

 

6.      Conditions of the inner conflict of my protagonist:

Paul Boudreaux is a middle-aged Cajun Louisianan who, along with his three siblings, was raised by a violent, drunken father and fanatically religious Catholic mother on prodigious royalties from oil discovered beneath their sugar cane fields. He was deeply traumatized as a young boy who witnessed his older gay teenage brother, Tim, blow his brains out around the family dinner table. The bookish Paul subconsciously assumed the collective family guilt and prepared for a life in the priesthood.  But ultimately disillusioned by his fucked-up family and its twisted religious beliefs, Paul completely abandons religion for academia, becomes an outcast from his family, and flees the Bayou State for New York where he obtains a PhD in history from NYU.

A secondary internal conflict relates to Paul’s having to return to ruby-red Louisiana and accept the only academic position he’s been offered at a small university in a rural, conservatively religious corner of the state. His graduate assistant, Polly, is an evangelical Christian who works for her fiery televangelist father. In spite of the tension between Paul and Polly over their opposing viewpoints on religion, the two begin to develop romantic feelings for each as they research the validity of the long, lost manuscript that may have been written by King Solomon.

 

7.      Settings:

The settings are in two diametrically contrasting locales: urban, deep-blue, progressive New York City, and rural, ruby-red, deeply conservative Louisiana. Within Louisiana, one setting is in the mostly piney woods of the predominantly Anglo-Saxon Protestant north, while the other is in the lowland bayou country of the predominantly French Catholic south. The protagonist Paul has marinated in the liberal values of NYC as he obtained his PhD within the secular atmosphere of free-thinking academia, but must return to the fanatically conservative religious environment of his youth. The jarring juxtaposition of the two main settings reflects the deep geographic and spiritual/political divisions currently tearing the country (and in the novel, the protagonist) apart.

[Cynthia Anderson]

Story Statement: 

Gina journeys to Switzerland with her ailing grandmother Hedy to find a woman in Hedy’s past with only a vintage Rolex watch to guide her. 

Antagonist Force: 

2015: Gina’s Dad is a chemical engineer at a pharmaceutical company. He sees the world through a competitive capitalistic lens believing people who don’t have college degrees offer less value to society. He respects Gina for her mechanical thinking and wants her to reapply to university to study engineering. He’s frustrated that she left college to care for her dying mother, his ex-wife Elaine, because it has put her behind her peers. His greatest fear is that she will achieve less than his colleague’s children and be a burden to him. 

1944: Pastor Rolle at the protestant church in Le Brassus. He’s a brooding man who keeps a watchful eye on his flock and expects the force of his Sunday sermons to hover like a shadow over the town. He’s organized the pews so that he, rather than the cross, is the central focus. Hedy is the only woman in his flock studying at university. Pastor Rolle keeps an even closer eye on Hedy so she won’t neglect her duty as a mother. 

Breakout Titles: 

The Pilot’s Watch; Monoblocco; Straight Toward the Light 

Two Comparables: 

The buried family secret and dual story lines of granddaughter and grandmother in The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer. 

The courageous female women who smuggled Allied pilots during WW2 in Code Name Sapphire by Pam Jenoff. 

Logline: 

Grappling with her mother’s death, Gina, a college dropout more at ease building Mustang car engines than engaging with her peers, battles against her father’s expectations by journeying with her maternal grandmother, Hedy, to her hometown in Switzerland to find a woman in Hedy’s past with a vintage Rolex watch as her only lead. 

Conditions for protagonist’s inner conflict: 

2015: Gina feels guilty about how her mother died. Gina was the primary caregiver. Her mother, in pain, begged Gina to help her go quickly by giving her extra morphine. Gina saw her mother suffering but feared she would be arrested. She failed her mother. And now she feels unmoored, unsure what to do with her life and afraid that she will fail her grandmother too. 

1944: Hedy wants to make a difference. For the last four years, she’s lived comfortably in Switzerland while war has raged all over Europe. She doesn’t think it’s fair that Switzerland remains neutral when it one side is evil and the other good. She thinks the press and government are wrong. She decides to act by helping the Allies. 

Hypothetical scenario for the secondary conflict involving the social environment 

2015: Gina, in Switzerland, seeks out the help of a watch restorer, Kai, to trace the Rolex’s serial number, and falls in love with him. 

1944: Hedy agrees to join an underground network to smuggle Allied pilots out of Switzerland and falls in love with an American pilot, Samuel. 

Sketch out Setting in Detail 

Scene 1: sterile apartment in an assisted living facility in Colorado Springs (2015) 

Scenes 2/3: Lausanne train station→home and violin workshop in Le Brassus, Switzerland (1944) 

Scene 4 upper class home with rock garden in Colorado Springs (2015) 

Scene 5: flight deck of a B-25 airplane flying from England to France (1944) 

Scene 6/7/8: open field→detention facility→hotel near Geneva, Switzerland (1944) 

Scene 9/10: cathedral at Cité Hill, Lausanne, and Vevey train station (1944) 

Scene 11/12: train ride Geneva to Le Brassus, protestant temple, Hotel de la Lande in Le Brassus (2015) 

Scene 13/14: Palace Hotel, Davos, Switzerland (1944) 

Scene 15/16: valley around Davos→military prison near Luzern (1944) 

Scene 17/18/19: gov’t building→Audemar Piguet watch museum→watch workshop in Le Brassus (2015) 

Remaining scenes: butchers, hospital and university in Lausanne; hut in spruce forest in Le Brassus; small row boat on Lac Leman; Hindlebank women’s prison in Switzerland, rehab center near Le Brassus, office in Berne, doctor’s office in Geneva. 

[Kris Brown]

Story Statement  (First Assignment):

Sure of herself as a privileged, newlywed Englishwoman transplanted in Ireland, Kate must wrestle both with old love and her unquestioned judgement to decide how to go forward in her married life. 

Antagonist  (Second Assignment):

Edwin Hawke, master, under the direction of his mother, of an extensive Anglo-Irish estate, anticipates his rapid acceptance by the Dixons, neighboring aristocrats, most particularly by Mary, Kate’s sister-in-law. Edwin, an obvious best marriage choice in Ascendancy Ireland, holds and upholds both the subtle and brutal prejudices of the Anglo-Irish. A firm advocate for British empire and domination, Edwin, as a probable husband for Mary, requires Kate to see and consider what she would rather not see. As she relives her own recent courtship in Mary’s, Kate must face directly the problem of being inextricably caught up in empire, in political and social structures that depend upon rigid hierarchy, injustice, and determined force. 

Title Assignment (Third Assignment): 

The Other Side

Genre/ Comparables Assignment (Fourth Assignment): 

Emma, Jane Austen

The Wide Sargosso Sea,  Jean Rhys

Genre: literary fiction, historical fiction

Core Wound/ Logline  (Fifth Assignment):

As she uncovers deep rifts in her new marriage and country, Kate, sure of her judgement, of her place in the world, and of the facts determining her own story, must re-see herself in context in order to decide how to, even whether she can, remain married.

Other Matters of Conflict (Sixth Assignment): 

Obvious pressures upon Kate, away from her beloved parents and sister, transplanted to a new country, recently married into a prominent Anglo-Irish family, exacerbate her disorienting sense of loss. She has not married Will, the man she most loves who broke an engagement with her, but instead John, a kind, well meaning, competent second choice. In the midst of understanding better where she is and among whom, Kate meets Will again. While he intends only to safely convey his sister, Kate’s dear friend, for a visit, Will is forced, as a result of an accident, to remain at Ballycraig, the Dixon estate. 

Setting (Seventh Assignment):

Much of the action of The Other Side occurs at or near the Ballycraig Estate in Ascendancy Ireland during the summer of 1808. Political movements and social repression, most particularly the Irish Rebellion of 1798, the Act of Union, as well as British anti-slave trade legislation of 1807 inform the immediate histories and recent choices of the novel’s principal characters. The Napoleonic wars present themselves in the distance as well. The actual history on the novel’s edges works to catch characters up in structures they do not immediately consider but which are in fact working against their happiness and well being. 

Jane Austen, in throwing her never-to-be-met newly married Mrs. Dixon away in Ireland, has given The Other Side the gift of one of the most cinematic physical settings on earth. Ballycraig, with its own considerable land and tenant farms, situated along the southeast coast near the imaginary village of Kilann and and small town of Carrickclar, not far from Waterford, combines all the formal glory of an 18th century Anglo-Irish estate with the wilds of cliffs and beaches, forests and waterfalls; in short, with all the beauty and possibility of the southeast Irish countryside. 

Jane Austen novels themselves (each one of them offers to the plot at least a momentary touchpoint) provide a kind ideological starting point and setting for The Other Side. If, in Jane Austen, marriage is an end which bests most other concerns, what happens on the other side of marriage, on the other side of privileged relationship, across the Irish Sea is also very much worth considering.

[Seetha Kandik]

Included for this post is a content warning for, suicide, mental illness, death, racism, physical, substance and non-graphic sexual abuse.

1)    Indira Nowak demands her dying mother fill in memory gaps of childhood abuse before it’s too late. 

2)    In a nearby hospital, 74-year-old Petra transitions from sickbed to deathbed, having secretly terminated her lifesaving heart medication. Once a hospice nurse, Petra blew up her reputation by suing her employer into bankruptcy for gender, age, and reverse discrimination. Left a pariah in hospice nursing, Petra fears she’ll be mistreated at home. But even at the hospital Petra can’t escape her destructive temper. While Petra is ready to die, she wants an exit surrounded by loved ones with her at the center.

3)    MEMORABLE or BAD ENOUGH

4)    Genre - Women’s Fiction. My novel blends the themes of filial obligation gone too far in Kirthana Ramisetti’s DAVA SHASTRI’S LAST DAY with the trauma rollercoaster in MY DARK VANESSA by Kate Elizabeth Russell.

5)    What happens when an abusive past that’s bad enough to estrange a daughter from her mother becomes what forces them together. Can both women agree on one truth and find forgiveness even if it makes one of them a liar? 

6)    Internal Conflict: Plagued by incomplete memories of childhood sexual abuse, Indira demands Petra apologize for a lifetime of minimizing what happened. Petra refuses, claiming Indira thwarted her father’s manic advances and wasn’t a real victim. After a lifetime of being called a liar Indira struggles with trusting herself. Even though she’s overcome addiction and excelled in her career, she fears that poking around in her incomplete past will destroy her sanity in the present. Indira has mastered keeping secrets from not only her family and friends but also her husband. Because of this she struggles with what being honest with herself and others looks like. 

External Conflict: Indira Nowak is angry at her slimy boss for groping her at the holiday party. Her revenge plan to steal his role and be VP before forty is humming along. An unexpected call from her estranged dying mother, Petra Subramanian threatens to derail her plans. Indira thought she’d left her past in the past, but she’s wrong.

7)    BAD ENOUGH is written in dual POV and Timeline. 

Set in March of 2016, the readers meet Indira on the Northside of Chicago working out of her brown Mercedes. Petra’s chapter begins at Lakeside Hospital in the neighboring suburb Evanston Illinois. An affluent hospital, Lakeside is where most of the nurses and administrators Petra has sued now work. It is also the hospital where her ex-husband died twenty years earlier. Petra has lost her wealth so she can no longer afford to buy the care she needs where she lives, still the administrators are trying to send her home to die.

Petra resides in the 1950s shoebox of a house, where she raised Indira. A compulsive shopper she’s stuffed it with a hoard of goods and a non-house-broken mini schnauzer she struggles to care for.

Indira shares a sterile loft condo on the Northside of Chicago with her supportive husband Will. There Indira feels in control of her hard-won sobriety and OCD with Will by her side. They have two well trained rescue mutts that magically don’t destroy the house. Indira’s life there is orderly and controlled.
The story flashes back to Indira’s youth in her childhood home in Skokie and the Lakeside Hospital where her father passed away. In the past Petra had clout at Lakeside and used it to expedite his death. Because of this, Petra believes she’ll be able to do the same for herself in the present.

[Marcus Emanuel]

Story statement: Ursula, in her search for her estranged father, attempts to join a cult-like “church of the human species,” where, to prove her allegiance, she must ruin the life of a seemingly innocent man.

The antagonist: Viri, a 49-year-old man currently living in Chicago, is attempting to write a new gospel for humanity, to better align humanity’s moral compass by tying it to a new religious origin story. He intends to use Ursula for this purpose, in order to pay off a project he began decades ago with her father. He intends to manipulate her into forgiving her father for his sins in order to be able to write his new gospel based on her story. 

Breakout title: The Apocrypha;
Alternates: The False Prophet; The Book of Ursula

Comps: Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation; Tom McCarthy, C

Logline: A young woman goes in search of her estranged father but, in order to uncover his fate and his true reason for abandoning her, she must embed herself in a strange cult-like “church of the human species” and risk destabilizing her view of the world and herself.

Conflict: The primary conflict is that Ursula has to resist the fatalistic, intriguing worldview that Viri offers her — both because she finds it too demoralizing and because she intuits that, while she can’t say how, he’s attempting to use her — even as she must further earn his trust to discover what happened to her father.
The secondary conflict is that Ursula has to attempt to not take advantage of Thomas even as Viri requires her to do so for acceptance into the cult, and as Thomas seems to be pursuing a relationship with Ursula.

Setting: The story is set largely in Chicago’s northside, in the areas that normally would be overlooked and fall into the background but here come crackling to life as the narrative examines how hidden structures of meaning fill even the most quotidian environments around us. Ursula treks along the ugly, seemingly barren expanse of Western Avenue, populated largely by auto repair shops and fast-food drive-ins, as she attempts to make sense of Viri’s worldview. Her nascent affair with Thomas grows out of the sterile environment of a culture-sapped sports bar. She engages in a vigorous philosophical debate with one of Viri’s cult members in that member’s humdrum, immaculately clean suburban kitchen. She embeds herself in Viri’s paper-infested, rat’s nest of an apartment.

[Tom McCarthy]

ASSIGNMENT ONE

Story Statement:

Find the missing cross and the murderer without getting killed by narco-ranchers and return the cross to its rightful home in the wild borderlands

 

ASSIGNMENT TWO

Antagonist:

Wade Baudette knows that God chose him for great things. Born into poverty to shiftless, heathen parents, he left home the day after graduating high school and travelled Central and South America, scraping by on odd jobs, learning the language and connecting with the people. He learned that he was endowed with three undeniable qualities that propelled him to be an instrument of the Divine: faith, eloquence and ambition. Over the subsequent decades, he built his Miracle Ministry into an international brand and multimillion-dollar juggernaut, filling stadiums and proclaiming the “Prosperous Miracle of Belief.” He’s a true believer who never took a false or dishonest step.

Then came the pandemic. Unable to fill stadiums, travel, or sustain his Dallas mansion and megachurch, he and wife Sharon decamped to her family ranch in West Texas. Even in the depths of poverty as a boy, he never knew the kind of desperation that consumed him as he watched his empire collapse. There’s nothing he won’t do to fulfill his destiny and re-establish his rightful position atop the spiritual hierarchy, even if it means the sacrifice of lesser lives. 

 

 

ASSIGNMENT THREE

Breakout Title:  Border Cross

 

Alternatives:

Crossbreed

Daughter of None

American Girl

Not Molly

 

 

ASSIGNMENT FOUR

Comparables: 

 

Winter Counts by David Heska Wanbli Weiden [2020, DEBUT fiction]

Comparable to Border Cross in the following ways:

·      Setting: small town, rural, fairly isolated community but vast in terms of geographical area

·      Protagonist: recently returned to birthplace, about which he has mixed feelings; minority identity; seeks justice

·      Spiritual element/theme/undercurrent

·      Cross-cultural and Indigenous themes

·      Drug issues and drug cartel

·      In the end, protagonist embraces and is embraced by community and finds personal redemption

·      Gritty and raw, but with a heart

 

Old Bones [2019] and the Nora Kelly series (Scorpion’s Tail [2021], Diablo Mesa [2022] and Dead Mountain[2023]) by Preston and Child

·      Set in American southwest

·      Historical artifact with cultural significance is at the heart of the mystery

·      Wilderness and nature play key role in atmosphere, mystery, themes, character and resolution

·      Within that context, (wo)man vs. man remains the primary conflict

·      Strong women characters with inner conflict 

·      Long-hidden history erupting into present

 

 

ASSIGNMENT FIVE

Hook Line:

A deputy sheriff must overcome a desperate killer and confront the truth about her own birth in order to expose the narco-ranching operation, recover a priceless artifact and return the artifact to its home in the remote US-Mexican borderlands.

 

ASSIGNMENT SIX 

Inner Conflict

Conditions:

Terra grew up as Teresa Flynn. She has known from a young age that she was adopted. She has always had a small cross that her parents told her was with her at the time of adoption. They knew nothing about her biological parents. Raised in an Irish-Catholic family, she was lovingly taught to disregard her light brown skin, black hair and dark eyes, that she was no different from her fair-skinned, red-haired parents and (not-adopted) sister. Growing up, these earnest reassurances were undermined by manifest realities—she was short and restless, her sister statuesque and scholarly—and by her own feelings. Through her teenage years, the emotional and psychological gap between her and her family became harder for her to ignore. The appreciation she felt for their attempt to elide the differences was supplanted by questions and resentment. When she joined the military after high school, she decided to research her adoption and discovered that her given name was Terra and that her birthplace was someplace called Hades, Texas. Google Maps showed a small town east of El Paso and about an hour from the Mexican border. Under “Mother’s Name” and “Father’s Name,” the papers indicated “Unknown.” She decides in that moment to call herself Terra, but her newfound knowledge brings mixed feelings and more questions: she wanted to learn more but was afraid of what she might find. She desperately wants to know more about her origin and identity, and possibly forge a connection to people—Does she have blood relatives?—and a place. But will her efforts only drive a greater wedge between her and her adopted family? And what if she learns something that only makes her feel like more of a misfit than she already is? Should she, instead, put her energy into repairing ties with her parents and sister and trying to forge more of a connection with them? She decides to take job that will put her face-to-face with all these questions—and more.

 

Scenario:

She knows she is “from” this town but doesn’t feel like it, feels nothing like a sense of “hometown” or roots. Since she moved to town, people ask her where she’s from and she doesn’t know what to say. What did she expect? Before, she had always said Boston. Since researching her adoption papers, the question of origin has become hopelessly complicated. 

After Alma (the woman who cared for her for her first several months) provides more details (trigger)—that she was found as a newborn in the arms of her dead mother somewhere in the borderlands along the Rio Grande, that a migrant came upon her and rescued her, along with the small silver cross that hung from a chain around her mother’s neck—Terra’s first impulse (reaction) is to get away from this town, this job. As far away from the border as possible. She feels both more intrigued by her own origin story, drawn to explore the borderlands, and yet horrified, saddened, afraid to learn more. Moreover, Alma tells her that the Atrial Cross stolen from the church must, like Terra herself, return to its origins. And that Terra herself must undertake that journey.

Terra knows little about her origin and birth. Her adopted family has told her next to nothing and despite her skin color and features, they tell her she’s as Irish Catholic as they are. As she grew to adulthood, she could no longer deny the feeling of disconnect from them and their whitewashed sense of her identity. Hoping to learn more about who she is, after her discharge from the Army she has taken a job in the West Texas town where her adoption papers say she was first found. She wants to learn everything she can about her background and parents, though something tells her it’s complicated and that she may not like what she finds.

Trigger: Within a few months of beginning her new job, Terra accompanies the sheriff on an emergency call to the border. Border Patrol is asking for assistance with a group of migrants on the run, some of whom are reportedly injured. When Terra arrives on scene, her heart is pumping. Despite never having been here and knowing full well that her job is law enforcement not search and rescue, nevertheless something visceral stirs in her gut. She feels some kind of connection to these strangers fleeing for their lives. Without consciously deciding to do so, she finds herself disregarding the sheriff’s order and undertaking an arduous and treacherous effort to reach two migrants rimrocked in a canyon. Risking her own life, Terra eventually reaches a young mother clinging to the side of a rock face gazing down at the lifeless body of her little girl a hundred feet below. Terra calmly and skillfully harnesses herself to the mother and leads her to safety. Throughout the emotional ordeal of laying the child’s broken body in the woman’s arms one last time, then staying with the woman as she was taken to the county hospital, Terra remained more composed and self-controlled than most of her male colleagues. 

Later that evening, upon arriving home, Terra closed her apartment door, removed her gun, lay on her bed, curled up in a ball and sobbed as she could never recall having done before. She wants to be here, to search out her origin story, to ask the hard questions, but does she want the answers? She wants to do the work, but does she want to see the pain?

Secondary Conflict

An unremarkable cross hanging at a side altar of the Holy Angels Catholic Church has recently been attributed with the power to work miracles. Desperate believers are flocking from afar to seek miracle cures, and the town is in the national spotlight. While Deputy Sheriff Terra Flynn finds such claims to be nutty, she can’t deny the cross’s importance: when the cross suddenly goes missing, the parish priest reveals to Sheriff Cal Wetter and Terra that the it is actually a rare and valuable Aztec artifact with a complex origin far beyond Holy Angels or even Christianity. Belying her initial impression, the cross fascinates Terra with its unusual, hybrid identity. Early in the investigation, she begins to suspect that her boss, Sheriff Wetter, may have stolen it. He has been sheriff for many years and is leading the investigation, and she’s relatively new to the job and the town, putting her in a delicate and tenuous position. What should she do about her suspicions? How can she pursue them without alerting the sheriff or one of his allies? What if she’s wrong? The extraordinarily rare cross captivates nearly everyone, and Terra knows that it must be recovered, no matter the cost.

 

ASSIGNMENT SEVEN

Hades, Texas. Population 7,238. Cutler County seat. A couple hours east of El Paso and an hour from the Mexican border. Summers are hot and muggy, winters are cold and windy. The horizon feels a long way off, and skies are usually cloudy or partly cloudy. Ranching is big around Hades, but it draws a smattering of tourists. 

Some key sub-settings depicted in the novel:

·      Known as an artsy town with galleries selling unusual gems, paintings and one-of-a-kind handcrafted products. Proud of its quaint downtown, with a handful of cafes, restaurants and coffee shops and a historic library overlooking the peaceful and inviting village green. An hour from canyons, rock faces, mountains and the Rio Grande, it provides the perfect base for hikers, rock climbers, off-road cyclists and outdoor enthusiasts looking for wilderness adventure away from the crowd.

·      From the beginning—which depicts migrants on the run from cartel thugs while being pursued by a US sheriff’s deputy—to the end—where that same deputy, our protagonist, is herself being pursued by the villain, himself a collaborator with the cartel—the novel takes readers into rugged wilderness in its varying landscapes and topography. Between Hades and the border, vast open stretches of Chihuahuan Desert sit side-by-side with rolling hills that give way suddenly to dramatic cliffs and rock faces which, in turn, spill open and cascade down into the waters of the Rio Grande itself. Near the novel’s first plot point, the body of Cutler County Sheriff Cal Wetter is found along the banks of the Rio Grande.

·      Big Bend National Park and Big Bend Ranch State Park: two enormous areas of rugged natural beauty and deadly terrain rarely if ever trodden by human feet. Deep canyons, sheer drops, dramatic rock outcroppings, remote and little-known slot canyons. 

·      Zino Ranch: 50,000 acres that span the distance between Hades and the Rio Grande. A vast spread of majestic isolation where it’s not unusual to stumble upon a carcass—even a human one—which could go undiscovered for days, weeks, or indefinitely. Home to Patsy Zino, whose husband of 55 years died of COVID two years ago. During his illness, it also became home to their daughter, Sharon and her husband Wade Baudette, who live in a separate house on the ranch. The ranch consists of several houses and guest houses along with countless other buildings and facilities, including barns, stables and, since COVID forced him out of his expensive Dallas location, a small bakery that produces Wade Baudette’s communion wafers for his Miracle Ministry. Zino Ranch is ostensibly a normal Texas ranch, on whose southern border are security cameras that help the US government catch drug smugglers. What the government doesn’t know is that the ranch foreman runs a narco-ranching operation. Herds of cattle are legally brought across the border onto Zino land, after which select heifers are herded and prodded into stalls where they are injected with a vaccination against Blackleg—all of which is normal and legal. During the vaccination, however, bags of fentanyl are swiftly and deftly extracted from the heifer’s vagina. The fentanyl is then moved to the bakery facility, where it is baked into communion wafers and distributed throughout the Southwest in unassuming station wagons marked with the Bread of Heaven logo.

·      In the two years since Wade and Sharon have lived on the ranch full-time, the Big House has become a reflection of Sharon’s extravagant taste. While the views from its generous windows and wrap-around porch are expansive and breathtaking, the visitor’s eye is drawn at least as irresistibly to the interior furnishings thoughtfully procured from around the globe.

·      For the past several months, claims have been made that a small cross in Holy Angels Catholic Church has been the source of miracles. These claims have gone viral, bringing a steady stream of hopeful and desperate pilgrims from near and far to the small town of Hades—and with them a throng of media. Outside the church, a long line of these miracle-seekers snakes around the church and down the block, a mix of migrants and Anglos, rich and poor, young and old, many manifestly hobbled, sick, weak or disabled. Once inside, they kneel before the cross and submit written prayers and petitions. Some pray in breathless silence, others wail and cry out, all with desperation in their eyes. Hades is ill-equipped for the spectacle, and conflict ensues: among the miracle-seekers, jostling and vying for position; for Holy Angels pastor, Fr. Tim Day; and especially for Sheriff Cal Wetter and his deputies, who have their hands full.

·      When the cross goes missing, Wade Baudette has an idea for shifting attention from Holy Angels to his own Miracle Ministry. He will host weekend a Grand and Godly Revival weekend. It is a spectacle attracting several thousand participants who gather beneath enormous marquee tents to be inspired by Baudette’s unique brand of preaching. Loudspeakers, huge video screens, cameras that livestream the event, port-a-johns, food trucks, and emergency medical people/vehicle, which comes in handy when people start swooning and passing out. 

·      In several scenes, the reader is taken behind the small house that the Dzul family has called home for over 100 years. Its current resident, Alma Dzul, is a 69-year-old artist, craftswoman, woodworker, stone-carver and blacksmith. She is a member of Holy Angels parish but also a practitioner of Indigenous and Aztec (spi)ritual dance. She privately performs this dance at night within a carefully cultivated and curated bower on the edge of her property that borders but is indistinguishable from an endless landscape of desert and mountain. In and around the well-stocked workshop that she first constructed as a young girl and has lovingly re-fashioned and extended ever since, she exercises her craft, using an array of chisels, knives, hand saws and hand planes, hammers and mallets, files, carving gouges, rasps and countless other tools and implements. Hanging from the walls and ceiling are colorful drawings of Aztec gods and figures, along with objects hewn from stone and carved in wood, earthy as well as brightly-colored objects and works of art depicting the sun, moon and figures from Aztec religious practice.

 

[Zona]

1.     Story statement: Crazy John wants to die on his own terms with the admiration of his loved ones.

2.     Antagonist: Regina, his sister, follows John from Modesto, California to the Alaskan wilderness to make him go back to California and get treatment for his cancer. She has gotten him out of scrapes in the past and is unhappy about having to do it again. The police are also on his trail for smuggling marijuana—action takes place in late 1980’s—and for maybe kidnapping his 17-year old son. She is his Javert because she is heavily invested in being the good kid in the family and the savior. She once adored her older brother but something happened—the core wound—when they were 10 and 12 years old. He turned into a bad boy. She overcompensates by being “perfect.” The problem with being perfect is no one measures up to that standard. She is a lonely, crusading workaholic hiding from her core wound and determined that her brother must behave.

3.     Title: Crazy John, The Legend of  Crazy John

4.     Genre and comps: Upmarket commercial fiction

Legends of the Fall by Jim Harrison

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

5. Logline: conflict and core wound

Viet Nam vet, John Daughtery, is dying of cancer and is desperate for one last chance to gain approval and love of his children, but his impulsive actions trigger a string of poor choices propelling him from Fresno to Fairbanks that leads him and his sister to confront their father’s brutal betrayal and discover the value of family.

6. Primary conflict: When John was 12, his father caught him at his younger sister’s bedroom door watching his grandfather molesting the girl. His father threw the old man out of the house and beat John for “watching” when in fact he had just arrived on the scene because he heard a noise. Dad told both children to never say anything about the incident again. That set up a dynamic where Dad regularly beat John for every transgression and John regularly defied him.  John feels guilty that he could not protect his younger sister, who adored him. Regina has repressed the event.

Secondary conflict: The wounds of war flow through families like DNA.

7. Setting: The story opens in the San Joaquin Valley about 1990 outside John’s ex-wife’s home. It is everything John hates about his childhood, dry, hot, dusty and conformist. From there he winds up in jail in Modesto, then escapes to Alaska with  his 17 year old son, Wiley. One chapter is set in Fresno on his father’s raisin farm with a flashback to a drug deal on the Mexican border, and two are in San Franscisco where his sister is a successful lawyer. The rest is in Clipper Creek, Alaska, a one-bar town north of Fairbanks where John has been living for the past five years. The wild Alaska landscape is almost a character in itself, beautiful and terrifying, menacing and graceful. John is at home in the wilderness where he can live as he likes. The story culminates in the middle of a wildfire.

First 5 pages

CHAPTER ONE

 

The old man used to say, “Only the good die young.” John stopped his pick-up at the highway end of the long gravel driveway and thought about that for a minute. Shit, the one time he was going to prove the old bastard wrong, and it didn’t even feel good. He took a slug of tequila and put the truck in gear.

San Joaquin dust chased him all the way down the drive. As he parked behind a station wagon under an aqua fiberglass carport, the living room drapes snapped shut. The woman in the house shouted at a whining child, and someone slammed the door between the carport and the kitchen.

“Some God damned welcome after two years,” he said to himself.

Angie’s house was bordered by tomato fields on three sides and an apricot orchard on the other. The house itself was a perfect stucco rectangle: babyshit yellow, babyshit brown trim. A ten­foot Doughboy pool grew out of the front lawn like a hideous blue plastic flower. It was August, and the lawn looked like crushed chow mein noodles. The demon smell of pesticides hung in the valley air. He had tried, but he truly could not understand why Angie thought this was paradise.

As he climbed down from his truck,  Angie opened the screen door over the four by four cement slab that served as a porch and stared at him. Shorts and a halter top had looked better on her before she’d had her last baby. John was sorry to see her take a scrunchie thing out of her pocket and fasten her long, brown hair into a pony tail. He had always told her she was sexy when her hair was loose around her shoulders.

“What are you doing here?” She folded her arms across her puffy mid-drift.

“Hi, Angel.” He smiled the smile she could not resist twenty years ago. “Aren’t you even going to say hello?”

“I said ‘what are you doing here?’ And don’t call me Angel.”

He shifted his weight from his left to his right foot. “I come to see my kids. They around?”

“Not for you.”

A seven-year-old girl wearing a dirty, pink bathing suit ran from the back of the house toward him.

 “Daddy, Daddy.”

John caught her on the run, swung her in a circle as high as his shoulders and corralled her safely in his arms. Except for his drooping, pirate-red mustache, they looked very much alike. Both had wavy, golden blonde ponytails and navy blue eyes that saw the world as a rollick. It did not matter that he was a six foot, three inch man on the other side of forty and she a four foot girl of seven. They were inescapably the same spirit.

“Carly, come here. Right now.” Angie was holding the screen door open.

John winked at Carly and set her down. She dragged her feet until she reached her mother’s side.

“Go in the house with Dad,” Angie said in a more gentle voice.

Carly kicked the screen door with the heel of her foot as it swung shut behind her. A man’s voice inside the house reprimanded her.

“I came to see my children.” He had been telling himself for the last five hundred miles that he was not going to get mad.

“I want the four years of child support you owe me.” She sounded like she meant it. John was surprised.

A wiry man about 5’7” appeared in the doorway behind her. Lonnie had not changed his hair style since his days as a sailor on the make in San Diego. A tattoo on his left biceps, “Subic Bay,” showed just below the sleeve of his undershirt. Lonnie was so stupid he voted to reelect Reagan in the last election even after he’d lost his union job driving a semi. Now he fixed old cars at a gas station for half the money.

Lonnie snapped an order to Carly and her nine-year-old brother who were peeking from between the drawn living room curtains. They jumped back from the window.

“If you need money, I got some.” John smiled warmly at Lonnie.

“Pay up everything you owe me, and I might let you see the kids,” Angie said. “And no tricks. I let you in the last time and never got a cent.”

Lonnie nodded.

“You and the kids been going hungry, Angie?”

“I take a whole lot better care of ‘em than you ever did,” Lonnie said.

“Well, friend, that just might be correct. All I ever had to offer my children was my free spirit.” John sauntered over to his truck and reached under the front seat. “Let me see, what have I got here for you? You take credit cards or cash only?” he called over his shoulder.

“A hundred and fifty a month for forty-eight months. That’s…uh…uhm…six thousand …no, seven….”

“Seven thousand two hundred,” John had to raise his voice because his head was buried under the steering wheel inside his truck. The familiar tickle needled his throat. Not now, he thought, just give me an hour.

“Seven thousand two hundred,” Angie said.

“It’s almost the first of the month,” Lonnie added, “you might as well pay me next month’s while you’re here. God knows when we’ll see…”

John’s hand was on the cigar box under the seat when Lonnie’s snotty whine hit him. He didn’t owe Lonnie a fucking penny. When he straightened up from inside the truck, an old .30 caliber M-14 carbine was cradled in his arms. It was aimed at the conveniently combined target of Angie and Lonnie.

The golden sun setting behind him threw his shadow half-way to the porch. John was a big boned man of legendary strength. Even his shadow was intimidating. When he squinted, his eyes disappeared into deep folds of flesh. He made sure his victims felt watched.

“Now, I just came to pay a friendly visit with my kids. If you’re holding them for ransom, sounds like I need to defend them.”

A lanky, seventeen-year-old boy boldly slammed the kitchen screen door as he ambled through the carport toward John.

“Howdy, Pa.”

His thumbs were hooked in his jeans pockets like a movie cowboy’s, but his head was nearly shaved except for a wispy fringe at the nape of his neck. Two earrings dangled from the right ear, one a cross, the other a swastika.

“Howdy, Son.” John smiled at his eldest son. He took his eyes off Lonnie long enough to glance at Wiley. Christ, kids are dumb, he thought.

“Wiley, get back in the house,” Lonnie said.

“I’m real glad to see you, Pa.”

John didn’t kid himself. Wiley was just glad to be giving Lonnie a hard time.

“Glad to see you, too, Son.” He smiled at Angie. “See? My kids want to see me just as much as I want to see them. Now let’s stop all this fussing…”

“I’m going to call the police.” Lonnie took Angie by the elbow.

Goddamn Lonnie. He could never let one pass. John’s right hand sneaked off the trigger for a moment and into his vest pocket. In one smooth, practiced motion, he pushed the ammunition magazine into the well in front of the trigger guard. Everyone heard the tight, metallic click of the bolt releasing and a round falling into the chamber.

“Do it from a pay phone,” John said. “I’m going to visit a while with my kids.”

He felt the cough harrying his throat again, fought to swallow it and gripped the rifle tighter to hide his shaking hands. Why the hell hadn’t he taken one of those little blue pills the V.A. gave him instead of tequila. He was afraid he would burst from trying to resist the irresistible. His face was red from the tension.

Lonnie froze.

[Andrea Rogers Kramer]

Story Statement:

Investigative journalist Alice Parker is the No. 1 true-crime podcast host in the nation, but when she attempts to crack her hometown’s most notorious cold case, it soon becomes apparent the killer is listening – and determined to shut Alice up… for good.

Antagonist Bio:

One sticky summer night in 1999, a lifelong resident of Lunken Falls, Ohio – boiling with feelings of deep betrayal – wrapped their hands around the throat of of sixteen-year-old Darcy Davidson and didn’t let up until the life faded from her eyes. In the two decades since, the killer was lulled into a false sense of security, confident the calculated steps they’d taken to cover their tracks that fateful night had paid off. That is, until true-crime podcaster Alice Parker returned to shine a light on her hometown’s most notorious cold case. Now, Darcy’s murderer must execute a delicate high-wire act: spook a bulldog investigative journalist off the scent, whatever – or whomever – it takes, without letting their carefully cultivated mask slip. 
 

Breakout Titles:

Listening

Press PLAY for Murder

Lunken Falls

Comps:

PRESS PLAY FOR MURDER is a mystery that plays with format, flashbacks, and points of view, weaving the perspectives of a small Ohio village into a thrilling whodunit that culminates in a final, twisting crescendo. It will appeal to fans of Alice Feeney’s HIS & HERS (soon to be a Netflix series) and international bestseller THE APPEAL by Janice Hallett.

**Bonus: While I don’t consider my novel YA, a case could be made for its appeal to readers of Edgar Award winner SADIE by Courtney Summers, which also centers around a true-crime podcast host and tinkers with format.

Core Wound - Part 1:

Logline: With her own teenage daughter testing boundaries, a grieving true-crime podcast host seeks to solve the cold-case murder of her hometown’s homecoming princess, but it soon becomes apparent the killer is listening… and determined to stop her at all costs.


Core Wound - Part 2:

Inner conflict: Returning to her childhood home for the first time since her grandma’s funeral, Alice Parker is gut-punched at the sight of dead flowers in Mamaw Sue’s normally lush window boxes. She instructs herself to think about baseball, like men reportedly do when trying not to finish early during sex.

Secondary conflict: Alice Parker's sixteen-year-old daughter, already surly about spending summer break cleaning out a dead relative’s house, is caught snogging the boyfriend of a neighbor girl. Tensions between Alice and the girl’s parents -- both suspects in the cold-case murder she’s investigating -- come to a head when all three teenagers go missing.


Setting:

The fictional village of Lunken Falls, Ohio, is primarily based on two real places of sentimental importance in my life: my own hometown of Hamilton, Ohio, colloquially referred to as “Hamiltucky” by locals, due to the number of Kentucky transplants in the early 20^th century who’d relocated to work in the steel and paper mills; and the tree-lined village in which I currently reside, Mariemont – a planned, single-square-mile suburb of Cincinnati, where everyone knows everyone else, for better or for worse. I also drew inspiration from Yellow Springs, Ohio (famously home to Dave Chapelle), in so much as being a charming oasis of tolerance that attracts its fair share of day-trippers.

In my novel, Lunken Falls – Population: 3,479 (the real population of Mariemont) – is a picturesque, three-square-mile hamlet set against a backdrop of cornfields, wild honeysuckle, and rolling hills of mature trees.  

On a map (which I literally sketched and painted during bouts of writer’s block on my first draft), the village is bisected by the snaking Shannon River – a tributary of the mighty Ohio – separating the “right” and “wrong side of the tracks.” The town is a stone’s throw from both the Kentucky and West Virginia borders, while simultaneously serving as a bedroom community for a midsized university just fifteen miles away. (“You’re gonna wanna drive past the red-font billboards warning interstate HEATHENS of their road-trip to HELL, lest they REPENT IMMEDIATELY, but if you get to the Coughs & Coffee Café/Vape Shop, you’ve gone too far.”)   

Meanwhile, a quaint-yet-bustling Main Street attracts its fair share of foodies, college kids, and antique hunters, featuring a two-screen movie theater, ice-cream parlor (based on a real one in Hamilton), restaurants, arcade, and other small businesses. A dollar store, pub, used-car lot, churches, and single-family Cape Cods dot the blue-collar west side of Lunken, while a library, courthouse, and city park are among the facilities on the tonier east side, where the neighbors have more room to spread out.

The juxtaposition of Lunken’s conservative geography and infusion of liberal politics creates an eclectic cultural cocktail rarely seen in other rural villages in that part of the country. While the county may lean red on Election Day, Lunken Falls itself is equal parts Bleeding-Heart Academia and Blue-Collar Bluegrass, mixed with two cups Artsy Appalachia and a heaping tablespoon of Midwest Manners; shaken, not stirred. 

The diversity is evident in its people – and, thus, the characters in my novel – as well. The town’s biggest employer, the paper mill, has been owned and run by a well-respected Black family since Reconstruction. A Wharton grad and the mill’s current CEO, Bea Harrow, is one of my protagonist’s two best friends. The other is Carmen King, a lesbian café owner and the Latina daughter of a working-class single mother.

Of course, familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying goes, and a small town like Lunken is ripe for harboring lifelong grudges and rivalries, as many of my characters do throughout the book. One of the more passive-aggressive players, for instance, is rich girl-turned-PTA President Dolores Scott, who looks down her nose at anyone who’ll sit still long enough (and who has motive of her own to be a viable suspect in the novel’s cold case).