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Brenda Ferber

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About Brenda Ferber

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    I'm a traditionally published children's book author looking to break out with a memoir for adults. I'm also a crisis counselor for Crisis Text Line and a lover of theater, tennis, and travel.

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  1. Oooh I love this! I love their friendship, and I especially love the mystery of why she feels guilty about Danny's death. I would definitely turn the page. The dialogue and setting and actions with Emma and Jane seem spot on to me. I do agree with Pat, though, about the wish for Nantucket at the end. I want to know more about how you want the reader to feel in that moment. Just a tiny bit of a hint would be great. How does Emma feel about that word popping into her head? One other typo at the beginning: How can it only be only six o'clock. I think you only need one only there. :-)
  2. Thank you @L A Wibberley. I appreciate the feedback, and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. My daughter is actually doing amazing now. She's 26 and just got her MSW. She's a therapist! It was not an easy adolescence, as you can imagine. As an adult, she manages her mental illness incredibly well, thank goodness. Originally, she and I wrote the memoir together, alternating viewpoints. It turned out nobody wants to publish a memoir from two points of view. So we did surgery, and I finished revising my version. She is waiting to revise hers to see if I find a publisher first. But ye
  3. Thanks Pat. I will think about that. I can't include that scene because it's a memoir, and I wasn't there, but I'll think about how to address your response. :-)
  4. Thanks @Pat McCaw! I appreciate the feedback. The reason they assigned her a number was to get the victim herself to say things like I hate 1104. (Yikes, so awful!) Anyway, if that's not clear from the text, I'll revise it.
  5. Hi Spencer, I love the complex relationships you're mining here. One thing that felt off to me was the setting. They are in an airport terminal? How is that possible in today's world? Maybe they are in baggage claim? That would make more sense. But whatever the case, I didn't get a sense of the crowds of people and announcements and cool air conditioning etc. It seems more like three people just talking. Yes, the dialogue is rich and interesting. But if you could ground the reader more in a place and time, I think it would feel even more believable. I really love the secret af
  6. Hi Pat, I love this opening! You weave in characterizations along with the action of flying on that scary little plane so well. I wonder if the moment when Emily thinks they're going to crash can be a little more intense for her viscerally. Right now, I don't believe she truly thinks they will crash. She is too analytical about it all when in that moment there would be shorter sentences and more physical reactions to the fear. For example "We float through the air as the pine trees draw near. Silently falling." That sounds almost peaceful, when inside she must be hot with adrenaline and
  7. You're welcome, Sheree! I think hearing that Sarah ended up barren due to the miscarriage is important information. I also think readers will be puzzled about how you can have a happy marriage while obsessing about an old lover at the same time. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it sure is different, and you'll want to help the reader to understand more about her marriage. Question to throw out there... Does Sarah have to be married? Good luck! Brenda
  8. Hi Sheree, I love the details of the boat life. It's clear you know what you're writing about, and I was able to feel like I was right there with Sarah. But I must admit, I'm much more interested in Sarah's relationship with her husband and eventually Marshall than I am with the boat (or the seagull or the window breaking). If this is a story about running into an old lover, I'd love to be immersed in her love life right away. I'm not saying we have to meet Marshall on page 1 (but that is an option). Rather, I'd like to see what is going on in her marriage that primes her for this o
  9. This is the opening scene, introducing the protagonist and antagonist, setting, tone, and foreshadowing the primary conflict: Dear Faithy, This is how I remember it. Dad and I were snuggled under a chenille throw on the black leather sofa with our two cats curled around us. The Sopranos was on TV, and you and your brothers were upstairs in bed. It was the spring of 2004, and you and Jacob were in third grade, Sammy was in second. People used to call you Irish triplets because I’d given birth to all three of you in nineteen months, but we weren’t Irish, or Catholic, or Orthodox J
  10. 1. Story Statement: A once-confident mom must navigate a mental health maze, bash stigmas, let go of judgments, and embrace a radical love and acceptance to help her daughter make it out of high school alive. Or, more simply: A mom must help her mentally ill daughter make it out of high school alive. 2. Antagonist: Faith is nine when the story starts and seventeen when it ends. She excels in school, sports, music, and friendships. Her smile lights the room. She charms every human and animal she meets. She also sends naked pictures of herself to anyone who asks, slice
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