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MichelleHenrie

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About MichelleHenrie

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  • About Me
    I am a member of SCBWI and the League of Utah Writers, and I have received multiple awards from LUW and The L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Contest. I've also worked as a first chapter judge for Utah's Romance Writers of America and as a ghostwriter for various blogs. I write fantasy and romance for children and adults.

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  1. Author: Michelle Henrie Title: The Darcy Diaries: My Deplorable Love Life Genre: Women's fiction with romance and humor Comps: Austenland meets Would Like to Meet and The Austen Escape in THE DARCY DIARIES: MY DEPLORABLE LOVE LIFE, complete at 94,000-words. Hook Line: A hopeless romantic searches for a Regency hero in 21st century Connecticut. Pitch: Caroline Beckworth’s boring lawyer fiancé jilts her. She makes one rule: NO MORE LAWYERS. She meets William D. Fitzgerald IV, her wealthy late aunt’s young brooding lawyer. Caroline inherits the aunt’s fortune, but t
  2. Author: Michelle Henrie Title: Thistle Mountain Witch: A Cricket O'Calleigh Tale Genre: YA coming-of-age fantasy in an alternate 1920s Appalachian Mountain setting Comps: The Nature of Witches meets the Gold Seer trilogy with The Godfather in THISTLE MOUNTAIN WITCH: A CRICKET O'CALLEIGH TALE, complete at 88, 000-words. Hook: A mountain gal rejects her silver magic birthright and escapes the feuds for the city, where she learns to wield her magic to oppose the mob boss. Short pitch: Sixteen-year-old Cricket O’Calleigh fails to claim her ma's silver mine and shuns h
  3. I love this! My YA fantasy actually talks about foxes as their antagonist. haha
  4. The family drama getting repressed is coming through and tells me it will be a rocky road for Janie and her mother. In ways the opening was punchy but also misguided me on who was the main characters in the story. It led me to believe Nancy was going to be one of the most important characters and possibly the main character. I love your writing! Knowing about Nancy's affair gives such another dimension to where this story is heading. My ancestors are from the south, specifically Georgia, so I always love stories in Georgia.
  5. I think you have a solid fantasy beginning with the naming and world details. I was clear that the protagonist was leaving, but I didn't know why since The Zenith was considered a sanctuary until the girls death or where he/she hoped to go. You could consider if the description of how the mountains go from coast to coast paragraph is an info dump. I think the scene of finding the girl's body is enough to focus on, and possibly how that changes The Zenith from being a sanctuary. I thought the protagonist's reaction to the murder was spot on. I think the last bit after the reaction could be made
  6. I thought you did a great job setting the scene. The powerful moment of the child with the knife was chilling. And her resolution of wanting to see a therapist worked so well since she'd wanted you to guess. Beautiful work! I don't know if I missed it, but I didn't realize the child was a girl until toward the end. Maybe we could hear her name earlier or receive another clue unless you wanted that to be a mystery.
  7. Nice work setting up how Emily feels about Sky and the divorce. The plane having a problem in the air was great to get reactions. We have friends who own a fishing lodge in Alaska, and this reminded me of them and how their daughter can out-fish and out-gut any man since she's done it all for so long. I think you've struck the perfect voice for YA!
  8. Very intense read and realistic. The situation with the food worked well to show the abuse, consequences of running, and as a moment for the two young boys to connect before they are used. Also, the dialogue was brilliant.
  9. I'm liking the relationship of Emma and Jane. The world building sucked me in. Jane trying to help Emma out of her grief with some humor is working for me. Depending how dark the story becomes when Emma goes to Nantucket might determine if you need to tweak the tone of the story. I loved how the work "Nantucket" is what popped out of her mind after the sensory details of the gulls, a boat, and the waves. I thought this was handled with a deft hand.
  10. Hey Brian, I'm intrigued with how he has the same dream and is somewhat lucid to recognize he's snoring. Maria sounds like a great character and is Whitman's foil. From our discussion tonight, I wondered if this was an actual phone call or within his mind. Nice voice in this piece. The wistfulness of the closing line is excellent.
  11. Here's the first chapter of THE DARCY DIARIES.

    Caroline’s life belongs in a chamber pot with a boring job and dull lawyer fiancé, but if she had the means, she’d chuck her jeans and live like it was 1820, dancing with her own Mr. Darcy.

     

     

    THE DARCY DIARIES - ch 1 - NY Pitch.docx

  12. 1 STORY STATEMENT Caroline must release her fears of not being good enough and embrace who she is to find love. After Caroline’s father abandons her and her fiancé jilting her for her best friend, she doubts self worth, and is ready to retreat into her old pattern of disappearing. Her late aunt’s will forces Caroline to push herself to figure out who she is and find love, or she’ll lose the inheritance. 2. ANTAGONIST STATEMENT Caroline is her own worst enemy. She is riddled with doubts and cannot believe William could love her unless he has ulterior motives. Instead
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