New York Write to Pitch "First Pages" - 2022, 2023, 2024
A forum for New York pitch event alums to post samples of their scenes and prose narrative for detailed critique according to Algonkian Author Connect guidelines. Emphasis on choice of set, narrative cinema, quality of dialogue, metaphor, static and dynamic imagery, interior monologue, general clarity, tone, suspense devices, and routine line editing issues as well.
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First 2 chapters introduce setting, main protagonist and main antagonist, set tone and foreshadow the primary conflict. Create sympathy for the protagonist as he tries to “save the cat.” CHAPTER ONE Behind the cover of a tree, Olaf watched the humans soar through the night on their broomstick. The baby’s laughter had attracted him—distracted him from foraging for food. It sounded like the chirping of baby birds, even sweeter than blueberries. The adult female carried the baby, and a hunk of metal which glinted in the moonlight. She was tall, taller than Olaf when he stood on his hind legs. She had a lot of unruly orange fur on top of her …
Last reply by Patti, -
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PROLOGUE This evening, my husband Rich handed me my glass of white wine and stated, “I want monogamy.” I smirked at him as he sat down on his side of the couch, but as I brought the glass to my lips, I looked at him and didn’t see the expression I expected. “Wait, are you serious?” I asked. “I am.” He looked at me, not looking away or down at his beer. He maintained that calm look of determination, not aggressive, just opening up the conversation. I stared at him over the rim of my wine glass, now frozen on my lips. Just like countless evenings before, we had just sat down on the couch to talk. Our daughter had come down the stairs a few minutes ago asking for…
Last reply by openlycommitted, -
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⸸ or Sinner’s Descent Into the Depths of the Unreal or Thomasin Sinclair 1 A Deo, Omnes Sapientia “Rosie!” The Beast’s intoned cry shook me from my train ride nap, interrupting a pleasant window-dream. I would look out the window and see one landscape: green plains on rolling hills. Then I’d close my eyes and see another: a lush vineyard stretching for miles. I lost track of whether my eyes were open or closed. “There you are. I’ve been looking up and down the train for you,” Hannah said, pushing her voice into the shrill, sing-songy tone she used to speak to me. “Hello, Hannah,“ I croaked out. Hannah dropped her luggag…
Last reply by ProductionBlues, -
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Chapter 1 Knowing that today would be one of Willow Glen Animal Shelter’s busiest of the year, Felicity Davis had skipped last night’s Fourth of July fireworks and gone to bed early. Even before her alarm buzzed, she jumped out of bed, causing her dog, Wilson, a Pyrenees mix, and her tabby cat, Jasmine, to rouse and leap from the bed. Felicity wanted to get to the shelter well before it opened and people started calling in with lost pet reports, so she breezed through her morning routine. “Sorry our walk is going to be short,” she apologized to Wilson as they went only once around the block. “We’ll take a longer one tonight.” Normall…
Last reply by Jennifer Ericson, -
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OPENING SCENE - Introduces protagonist, setting, inciting incident and the antagonists (character & new setting). CHAPTER ONE Losing the house was bad but losing this smell would be unbearable. Sally nestled her face into the bunched fabric of Maria’s sweater. The bristly wool scratched against her cheek as she inhaled hints of jasmine and ginger into her lungs. She threw the sweater on and ran downstairs into Maria’s bedroom, a mausoleum for her scent. The rug, the bed, the blankets, all still saturated with the aroma of Maria’s life. She slammed open the dresser drawers and stuck her face into the folded clothes. Maria felt closer than ever. S…
Last reply by DomGerard, -
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This is the opening scene (first four pages) of Chapter 1; it introduces the protagonist (one version of her, Jen), her setting, and her conflict. Chapter 1. Jen, January, 2017. What a fucking nightmare of a day, Jen thought, glancing out her office window at the D.C. streetlights and the sloth-like traffic. Her stomach rumbled; she had worked past dinnertime again, and being hungry made her an irritable bitch. But food wouldn’t erase the fact that the worst asshole in history had been inaugurated today. She’d had trouble concentrating on her immigration caseload—which had now expanded to an impossible seventy cases— knowing what was happening just two miles …
Last reply by Jill Martin, -
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Opening Scene to introduce the setting, protagonist, tone, and primary conflict. Antwerp, Belgium April 1941 Jacob Eichelberg clutched heavy black-out drapes from his third-floor flat and peered through a sliver onto the lightless city of Antwerp. A dark gray blanket of night, like an inky shroud of nothingness, hovered overhead. He scanned the sky and listened for hunting Allied bombers. Part of him wished to hear the droning buzz of those pregnant planes. Though it would send his family scrambling for the basement, he imagined the laden bellies of those warbirds opening up and letting loose their whistling offspring. Who knows? They might just find…
Last reply by Chad Ellenburg, -
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All day Chae was excited about her eighth birthday, but she couldn’t figure out why her mother wouldn’t look at her. She thought it might have been the rain. The autumn had brought sheets of it to Shanghai, and from the moment she woke, her mother had instructed her to stay inside so she wouldn’t track water onto the floor. It was dark now. For hours, the door to their apartment had remained locked, keeping the quiet in, and keeping the quiet out. Chae played with a doll as she sat across the table from her mother. A ribbon held her inky hair in place, save for a few strands that tickled her forehead, which had started losing its summer bronze. The doll was dirt…
Last reply by Rockwell Sands, -
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(First chapter, after prologue): Establishes the inciting incident (murder), character's internal conflict (she struggles with identity, guilt, shame, returning to work as a CPS caseworker after maternity leave) and external conflicts (only she knows something is fishy about her client's situation, she wants to help, but might not be able to because her memory is sketchy and she is unreliable; her baby is colicky and underweight and she isn't home to feed her; now she must help the victim's children in foster care), establishes setting (fall in Youngstown, Ohio), and core wound (she had to learn about being a young girl from the neighbor, not her mother). The…
Last reply by Jody Gerbig, -
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Opening Pages Panic City by Scott Brooks The first goggles were large, obvious, and people asked questions. A little while later, they tried something that looked like a motorcycle helmet, which also drew attention, but remained a fan favorite of certain players who chose to play on electric scooters or skateboards and who also no doubt enjoyed regular fly-bys past the uncertain law enforcement of New York City. Maybe there were other iterations of goggles, visors, as well as the headphones and gloves; you’re unlikely to meet anyone who will admit to knowing much of anything about a game called Panic City and the people who played it. The next goggle…
Last reply by Scott Brooks, -
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Updated via workshop
Last reply by Allie, -
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The first chapter is below, which introduces the protagonist and her world on a very bad day. Up to Here Marza had had it up to fucking here. Here not being just the chin or forehead, the traditional places one has it fucking up to, but all the way up through the fucking roof. She’d had it with her job. She’d had it with her boss. She’d had it with her horrifying ex-husband and their bratty kid. She’d had it with the cat she adopted that was forever shitting in her shoes. She’d had it with having to explain to people that her name was not Martha or Marcia Penn, but Marza Penn after the dumb-fuck almond confection that her dumb-fuck parents thought was “just oh so…
Last reply by katherinemf, -
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The first chapter is below, which introduces the protagonist and her world on a very bad day. Up to Here Marza had had it up to fucking here. Here not being just the chin or forehead, the traditional places one has it fucking up to, but all the way up through the fucking roof. She’d had it with her job. She’d had it with her boss. She’d had it with her horrifying ex-husband and their bratty kid. She’d had it with the cat she adopted that was forever shitting in her shoes. She’d had it with having to explain to people that her name was not Martha or Marcia Penn, but Marza Penn after the dumb-fuck almond confection that her dumb-fuck parents thought was “just oh so …
Last reply by katherinemf, -
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Ryan stared unseeing into his oak paneled stall inside the Baltimore Blaze locker room. A decades old photograph was tacked to the wood grained back, safely secured in the plastic Ziploc baggie that Ryan had plucked from the box inside his mother’s pantry when he was eight years old. He remembered delicately placing it in the flexible, plastic pouch after carefully cutting it from the page of a sports magazine he had found discarded on the front lawn after the garbage trucks had made their weekly pickups. Every season since he started in the league it had made its way from the top drawer of Ryan’s bedroom dresser to this exact same spot. The seven by eight and half inch …
Last reply by Cindy Berry, -
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Shit. How can it register 0.1? There’s nothing on it. Blaze tapped her scale. It flashed and returned to 0.1. She turned it off and on. Still 0.1. God damn it! Sitting cross-legged in the middle of her studio, Blaze looked around the room for answers to a question that had none. She had to use texture, not science to complete her acrylic pours. The feel of the medium was guide, difficult but not impossible. Blaze grabbed her earbuds. What kind of day will it be? A positive affirmation day? Music day? She scrolled through her phone and pressed music; calm soothing music to drown out the voices buzzing in the distance. They’re not real. They’re not real. …
Last reply by Cara Cilento, -
Chapter 1 “Prasad!” “One minute, mom!” Prasad Patel flopped over on his bedroom floor with a warm grin. This golden Sunday had rolled out a trim carpet of shimmering light to deliver him to his moment in the sun. Tomorrow, he’d cross the threshold of adolescence and graduate to the big One-Oh. Double digits. Ten. Freaking. Years. Old! At long last, he’d cast off the baby bib of ‘Little Boy’ and claim his shiny, hard earned badge of ‘Preteen’. “Prasad!” “Gib be one mirrute!” Tip-toeing over the bathroom sink, he generously brushed his teeth, choosing to floss for once. The youngest in his family, albeit with the largest mouth, h…
Last reply by Aatman Pandya, -
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Seven Assignments.docx
Last reply by Lynn McCall, -
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Prey Matt Varga OPENING SCENE – Establish setting and tone, build intrigue, set up the inciting incident, establish the protagonist’s voice, hook, and competencies (sympathies) CHAPTER ONE My car purred as it drove itself forward, creeping toward the chanting ranks of people and their placards. A drowsy cop motioned my car through the barricade as other officers stood at alert and kept the crowd parted. The picketers screamed the usual insults at me as my car inched through them: murderer, bitch, slut, and worse. With the privacy shields up, they couldn’t see me. I guess they assumed I was a woman because I drove a tiny coup, a sexist but correct infer…
Last reply by Doc Varga, -
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My favorite stories are the ones that begin with a raised eyebrow and some old man sayin, “You cain’t make this shit up.” Them kinda tales everbody wants to hear, cause there’s always someone who don’t want ‘em told. Not me. I like true stories, and I can already tell this is a good’un in the makin. Hard not to be, beins Mr. Jackson’s done drawed a syringe full of sleepy juice for his tranquilizer spear. First time I’ve ever seen one in real life, cause lord knows Kendall don’t believe in nothin but sweet words and a curry comb when it comes to breakin cattle. Big pussy. “Stick ‘im, Jackson!” And…bingo. Ewww-weee. Popped ‘im right square in the neck vein. M…
Last reply by wesnolen, -
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An Interview With Anje Goodwin Michael Neff, director of the New York Pitch Conference, talks to aspiring author, Anje Goodwin, about her leaps in narrative evolution and prose style after working with the NAPE Drills (pronounced "nap"). - A Sample of Anje's Latest Work Q: Angie, you are one of the AWC alums; we reconnected in January about some systemic issues found in a sample of your prose submitted to the forum. We discussed that a prose drill exercise could help with the problems you were facing; can you tell us a little about your expectations? And what difficulties you might have faced during the exercise. A: I’ll start by saying t…
Last reply by Admin_99, -
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REBELRY- YA Science Fiction, American Royals meets Divergent Opening chapter - introduces main character, setting, tone, inciting incident CHAPTER 1 Summoned “. . . though we have toiled and emerged from the War victorious, now our labor truly begins. Today we grant our oppressors an amnesty they have not earned. We shall not exact vengeance, but they will learn to follow and serve. With wisdom, mercy, and compassion, we will build a magnificent world and show our oppressors that we can create paradise on Earth. And so, let it be shouted in every street, the Age of Man is no more. For I proclaim to you, the Age of …
Last reply by Sharilyn, -
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OPENING SCENE - Introduces the setting, tone, antagonistic forces, and highlights key themes. If Solomon absolutely had to jump out of a plane, 0100 hours was not the time he would have chosen for it. Actually, scratch that, never was the time he’d actually pick, but since the Westsylvania Zone militia liked to hand out wall-to-wall counseling like a candy dispenser drone on Halloween, Solomon had little choice in the matter. Taking a deep breath, he climbed out of the cattle truck with the other dozen drafted teenagers, and began to help unload the parachute gear onto the departure airfield. One of the plastic crates resisted his attempts to open it. He managed…
Last reply by JINJUP6RICHARDS, -
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Last reply by ldhawke, -
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Chapter 1: Hot Johnny John <jjr41@protonmail.com>: I’m in the lobby Kayla K <masterkayla@gmail.com>: Be right there. I make a left out of my room and follow the outdoor hallway to the elevator bank. It’s early evening, but the sun has long since set. I press ‘down’ and look over the edge at the guests on the second floor lounge, curled like cats on corduroy couches in cashmere throws. The air is soggy with coastal brine, and my nose fills with the smoke of cedar rising from fire pits below. The elevator bings. I ride down smiling at a video message from my lover telling me to Have fun, babe. I don’t know what he knows abou…
Last reply by Calmese Brennan, -
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Saguaro Blooms First Pages-Algonkian.docx
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