Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Includes: inciting incident, setting, tone, protagonist, supporting characters




December 19, 1995

Indianapolis, Indiana       

Mitchell flipped on his turn signal then glanced down College in the direction of his coffee shop. Shit! Christmas shoppers had swarmed the place. The line for the drive-thru backed off the property and ran down College Avenue as far. as he could see.

The light changed.

Rather than just give up he went with what he knew. He drove into the intersection then made a quick right onto a parallel side street. He drove around the block then ducked into a mostly hidden alley. That lonely parking spot, the one he'd come to think as his, the one behind the coffee shop and next to the dumpster--was open! He pulled in, kept the engine running, unbuckled his seatbelt then reached over the seat to unfasten Dee's straps.

Except, she's fallen asleep.

Never wake a sleeping child.

Mitchell leaned in and kissed her on the nose. He whispered, "I'll be right back."


When he pushed the coffee shop's back door open, the bell above his head jingled. He looked around for Marilyn but didn't see her. No Mari, no coffee. He shrugged and got in line.

Time ticked by, and just as his conscious was starting to gnaw at him she walked in from the back. In that telepathic manner of hers she picked him up on her radar, walked over to the urn, filled a large, waxed paper cup and carried it to the counter.

He met her there.

She pushed the coffee across.

He took it, slid some bills toward her, and added, "You're a life saver."

Back in the alley, Michell slowed as he juggled between the coffee and his ring full of keys. When he reached the car, he rested the cup on the roof, found the ignition key and unlocked the door. He ticked up the cup and climbed in behind the steering wheel. As he was sticking the key in the ignition something drew his attention from the dash. He glanced up in the mirror, blinked, and a spike of terror struck him square in the heart.

Dee's car seat was empty.   







Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 1
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


"King of Pantsers"?


  • Create New...