Story Statement: Rachel - to do whatever it takes to stop the deadly attacks planned against the United States which God has prophetically revealed to her.
Antagonist: Backed by war profiteers, Gleason, the trusted White House Chief of Staff and secretly radical Muslim, will stop at nothing to ignite war between the U.S. and Syria with the intent to bring infidel America to her knees.
Breakout Title Options: (with plans to title the sequel "Beyond Coincidence" or "What If I'm Right")
Knowing
Beyond Coincidence
What If I'm Wrong
Comparables:
Noah Hawley – screenwriter turned novelist; writing character-driven stories that explore cause and effect and the resulting growth or demise of a character.
Terri Blackstock – exploring how faith affects character transformation, without being heavy handed with romance nor with a “preachy” style of intertwining spirituality into the story.
Hook (logline): Accused of submitting false leads to the FBI and afraid of jeopardizing her husband’s new career with the FBI, a woman’s prophetic visions escalate to life and death issues as she takes matters into her own hands to stop a high ranking U.S. government official’s plan to incite war and bring America to her knees.
Other Matters of Conflict:Rachel is a thirty-something woman who has lost a child late in pregnancy and is still carrying the pain and confusion of that loss. She’s pulled back from life to regroup and support her husband in his new career as an FBI agent. Although she has faith in God, the relationship is tremulous as she struggles to understand her loss.
Although she has had prophetic visions in the past – the little personal prophecies like knowing a friend is pregnant before she does, or that your husband’s lost keys are on the floor of the closet in the brown shoe, Rachel’s faith is tested when God begins to reveal life and death situations to her. In the opening scene, she has a vision of a school bus crashing, but passes it off as bizarre and possibly her emotions over-reacting to the loss of her child, but when she sees the accident on national news, she realizes that God had shown it to her for a reason – to pray and avert the danger.
A secondary conflict is the conflict involving her relationship to her husband. As Rachel tries to cooperate with God by praying as he reveals things to her, a seemingly false lead concerning a child kidnapping puts her husband’s career on the line and creates strife in their marriage. Where she would reach out to him and the FBI as God reveals the heinous plot of deadly attacks aimed to bring America to her knees, because of the distrust and suspicions, she takes matters into her own hands, putting her life on the line to stop evil.
Settings Kansas City: FBI headquarterswhere Evan works as an FBI agent. As a new agent, the entry reminds him of Get Smart’s entry into the secret chambers as he enters the hallowed halls of the legacy of the FBI in Kansas City. Located across from a park, he wonders how many kids dream of being an agent someday. His co-workers are fairly supportive, including the experienced Special Agent in Charge Jack Barnes, but there’s one agent, Roberts, who has it out for Evan and is doing what he can to derail Evan’s career.
Upscale KC downtownwhere Rachel used to work as a stockbroker and theKC metropolisthat is home to nine major hospitals that form the vision of a spider (8 legs and the head) and the prophetic picture of a planned attack that Rachel attempts to thwart.
Rachel and Evan’s KC suburban house– a cramped “starter” home that was supposed to be Rachel’s “white-picket fence” kind of life before she lost her baby and retreated to a low-level job in the nearby quiet suburban bank. The spare bedroom is still painted pink, but taken over with Evan’s workout equipment and there’s a Keurig machine that’s on its last legs that roars and sputters, a symbol of the disconnect happening in Evan and Rachel’s relationship as they adjust to the loss of the child and Evan’s career change to become an FBI agent. Also, the kitchen is Rachel’s place of revelation where she notates the prophetic visions God is giving her in her journaling notebook.
Suburban park:this is where Rachel goes to walk and pray amidst the joggers and chatty walking women and new moms working off baby fat.
Brian and Lisa’s KC suburban house– a quaint house, decorated in Lisa’s simple DIY style. Rachel feels at home here although she envies the cozy home and the family atmosphere as Lisa gets pregnant and prepares for their first child.
KC suburban bankwhere Rachel has slid into anonymity while she heals from a miscarriage. To her, the quiet bank is a place of refuge, with the low-stress job of taking care of the “regular” who frequent the bank and working alongside a chatty teller, Amber, who always has interesting stories to tell; Brian, the IT guy who is Evan’s best friend and a mix of genius and hippy jokester, Joe the hardcore branch manager who she finds out is a great guy when he’s away from the stress of his job responsibilities and other co-workers.
KC suburban airport– where the kidnapper tries to escape detection by flying out of the KC area with his victim and where Rachel’s lead prompts Evan to investigate, bringing the agency and a full SWAT team out to search the few rusty hangars in the dimly lit airport.
South KC Meth housewhere Evan’s first lead pays off after 5 months of hard work. The FBI and S.W.A.T. team surprise and capture the drug dealers, but in the process the house blows with an out of control meth fire in the basement.
Raqqa, Syria: The dustySyrian terrorist campwhere Pharoan orchestrates the attacks against the U.S. from the cues he receives from the Bird as he trains a rogue military army equipped with U.S. issue guns and war-time weapons.
Pharoan’s house:Although the camp is hot and dry, Pharoan’s family house is a rich oddity in the landscape, a cool and comfortable “perk” for Pharoan’s work for the radical Muslim cause.
Washington, DC TheBird’s inner prayer sanctuarywhere the Bird prays towards Mecca through the day. Hidden in a wall in his home office, not even his American wife Elena knows about this place.
The Oval Officewhere President Sutton leads her staff as they grapple with the terrorist attacks and what the U.S. response should be. The staff is a firehouse of dynamics and conflicting agendas, with Secretary of Defense Sarah Mann anxious to flex her military muscles, Secretary of State Anton Busian with his weasly ways of intimidation trying to sway the first female president to his agendas, National Security Advisor Lee Owen whose loyalties sway depending on the situation, and White House Chief of Staff Gleason who has a knack of assuaging the president and helping her “see” reason in stressful situations.
Other major U.S. citieswhere terrorist attacks occur:Cincinnati– a school bus filled with cheering kids roaring down the highway;Minneapolis– the 8-lane I-35 bridge spanning the Mississippi, the grimy hotel room that Vegard’s rogue team stays in; Rachel’s upscale hotel room and car as she drives over the bridge and home;Philadelphiasubway system and radical sympathizer’s noisy 1-room apartment located near the airport with planes constantly booming overhead;Phoenixfootball stadium with fans in line and police and bomb dogs searching the area, a better motel room lined up by sympathizers,Dallasmall,Chicagostreets and bus.
New York Pitch and Algonkian Pre-event Assignments - 2022
in New York Write to Pitch 2023 and 2024
Posted
Story Statement: Rachel - to do whatever it takes to stop the deadly attacks planned against the United States which God has prophetically revealed to her.
Antagonist: Backed by war profiteers, Gleason, the trusted White House Chief of Staff and secretly radical Muslim, will stop at nothing to ignite war between the U.S. and Syria with the intent to bring infidel America to her knees.
Breakout Title Options: (with plans to title the sequel "Beyond Coincidence" or "What If I'm Right")
Knowing
Beyond Coincidence
What If I'm Wrong
Comparables:
Noah Hawley – screenwriter turned novelist; writing character-driven stories that explore cause and effect and the resulting growth or demise of a character.
Terri Blackstock – exploring how faith affects character transformation, without being heavy handed with romance nor with a “preachy” style of intertwining spirituality into the story.
Hook (logline): Accused of submitting false leads to the FBI and afraid of jeopardizing her husband’s new career with the FBI, a woman’s prophetic visions escalate to life and death issues as she takes matters into her own hands to stop a high ranking U.S. government official’s plan to incite war and bring America to her knees.
Other Matters of Conflict: Rachel is a thirty-something woman who has lost a child late in pregnancy and is still carrying the pain and confusion of that loss. She’s pulled back from life to regroup and support her husband in his new career as an FBI agent. Although she has faith in God, the relationship is tremulous as she struggles to understand her loss.
Although she has had prophetic visions in the past – the little personal prophecies like knowing a friend is pregnant before she does, or that your husband’s lost keys are on the floor of the closet in the brown shoe, Rachel’s faith is tested when God begins to reveal life and death situations to her. In the opening scene, she has a vision of a school bus crashing, but passes it off as bizarre and possibly her emotions over-reacting to the loss of her child, but when she sees the accident on national news, she realizes that God had shown it to her for a reason – to pray and avert the danger.
A secondary conflict is the conflict involving her relationship to her husband. As Rachel tries to cooperate with God by praying as he reveals things to her, a seemingly false lead concerning a child kidnapping puts her husband’s career on the line and creates strife in their marriage. Where she would reach out to him and the FBI as God reveals the heinous plot of deadly attacks aimed to bring America to her knees, because of the distrust and suspicions, she takes matters into her own hands, putting her life on the line to stop evil.
Settings
Kansas City:
FBI headquarters where Evan works as an FBI agent. As a new agent, the entry reminds him of Get Smart’s entry into the secret chambers as he enters the hallowed halls of the legacy of the FBI in Kansas City. Located across from a park, he wonders how many kids dream of being an agent someday. His co-workers are fairly supportive, including the experienced Special Agent in Charge Jack Barnes, but there’s one agent, Roberts, who has it out for Evan and is doing what he can to derail Evan’s career.
Upscale KC downtown where Rachel used to work as a stockbroker and the KC metropolis that is home to nine major hospitals that form the vision of a spider (8 legs and the head) and the prophetic picture of a planned attack that Rachel attempts to thwart.
Rachel and Evan’s KC suburban house – a cramped “starter” home that was supposed to be Rachel’s “white-picket fence” kind of life before she lost her baby and retreated to a low-level job in the nearby quiet suburban bank. The spare bedroom is still painted pink, but taken over with Evan’s workout equipment and there’s a Keurig machine that’s on its last legs that roars and sputters, a symbol of the disconnect happening in Evan and Rachel’s relationship as they adjust to the loss of the child and Evan’s career change to become an FBI agent. Also, the kitchen is Rachel’s place of revelation where she notates the prophetic visions God is giving her in her journaling notebook.
Suburban park: this is where Rachel goes to walk and pray amidst the joggers and chatty walking women and new moms working off baby fat.
Brian and Lisa’s KC suburban house – a quaint house, decorated in Lisa’s simple DIY style. Rachel feels at home here although she envies the cozy home and the family atmosphere as Lisa gets pregnant and prepares for their first child.
KC suburban bank where Rachel has slid into anonymity while she heals from a miscarriage. To her, the quiet bank is a place of refuge, with the low-stress job of taking care of the “regular” who frequent the bank and working alongside a chatty teller, Amber, who always has interesting stories to tell; Brian, the IT guy who is Evan’s best friend and a mix of genius and hippy jokester, Joe the hardcore branch manager who she finds out is a great guy when he’s away from the stress of his job responsibilities and other co-workers.
KC suburban airport – where the kidnapper tries to escape detection by flying out of the KC area with his victim and where Rachel’s lead prompts Evan to investigate, bringing the agency and a full SWAT team out to search the few rusty hangars in the dimly lit airport.
South KC Meth house where Evan’s first lead pays off after 5 months of hard work. The FBI and S.W.A.T. team surprise and capture the drug dealers, but in the process the house blows with an out of control meth fire in the basement.
Raqqa, Syria:
The dusty Syrian terrorist camp where Pharoan orchestrates the attacks against the U.S. from the cues he receives from the Bird as he trains a rogue military army equipped with U.S. issue guns and war-time weapons.
Pharoan’s house: Although the camp is hot and dry, Pharoan’s family house is a rich oddity in the landscape, a cool and comfortable “perk” for Pharoan’s work for the radical Muslim cause.
Washington, DC
The Bird’s inner prayer sanctuary where the Bird prays towards Mecca through the day. Hidden in a wall in his home office, not even his American wife Elena knows about this place.
The Oval Office where President Sutton leads her staff as they grapple with the terrorist attacks and what the U.S. response should be. The staff is a firehouse of dynamics and conflicting agendas, with Secretary of Defense Sarah Mann anxious to flex her military muscles, Secretary of State Anton Busian with his weasly ways of intimidation trying to sway the first female president to his agendas, National Security Advisor Lee Owen whose loyalties sway depending on the situation, and White House Chief of Staff Gleason who has a knack of assuaging the president and helping her “see” reason in stressful situations.
Other major U.S. cities where terrorist attacks occur: Cincinnati – a school bus filled with cheering kids roaring down the highway; Minneapolis – the 8-lane I-35 bridge spanning the Mississippi, the grimy hotel room that Vegard’s rogue team stays in; Rachel’s upscale hotel room and car as she drives over the bridge and home; Philadelphia subway system and radical sympathizer’s noisy 1-room apartment located near the airport with planes constantly booming overhead; Phoenix football stadium with fans in line and police and bomb dogs searching the area, a better motel room lined up by sympathizers, Dallas mall, Chicago streets and bus.