THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT
To avoid the shame of being ‘Talent-blind’, 51-year old Seja works her farm and raises the children in solitude, until her grown son is kidnapped and she leaves everything to rescue him. When she learns there’s a dark Talent behind the kidnapping who’s plotting world domination she must find a way to unblock her elemental Talent and work with an overbearing dragon to thwart the dark Talent’s plans.
THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT
Kasiran of Ryemin. Born in Arjenkaria, the eastern continent, to parents so poor they have not earned a surname. At age 6 he’s tested in the annual Sweep for Talents. Although he’s highly gifted in four elements, this is so rare the Tester stops looking after finding Earth Talent. Kasiran is taken from his family. His parents are paid a year’s wages and forced to sign a contract dis-owning him.
At the state academy he’s outwardly a good student. Required to specialize in one or two elements, he practices in secret, gradually falling into dark uses of Talent. At 14 he accidentally kills a classmate. The Head Teacher has him abducted from school and left in the wilderness. Taken from his family, betrayed by the school, he vows to never be controlled again. He believes four element Talent makes him invincible. He can take over the minds of his followers, and keeps slaves to draw life-force from, for healing himself after using dark Talent. In his late 20's he allies with extremists who believe Talents are entitled to rule, and others are lesser. They move to Riata, take over an abandoned fort at Ryemin, and begin taking steps to conquer the entire continent.
THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed).
I'm still looking for other titles. These are the first few I've thought of.
The Fire that Reveals
Child of Earth & Fire
An Unwanted Dragon
FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: Develop two smart comparables for your novel.
DECIDING YOUR GENRE
Genre: Epic Fantasy with dragons and elemental magic
COMPARABLES *See second Reply post for update**
Eye of the World, Robert Jordan
I'm certainly not at the level of Robert Jordan, but his "magic" system is similar in that it uses inborn gifts that need mental focus to use, and these gifts can be difficult or impossible to use if the practitioner has an emotional difficulty.
Legend of Paksennarion series, Eliz. Moon
It’s been difficult, but perhaps not surprising, to find fantasy epics with middle-aged protagonists. Although I haven’t read these, I’ve listed them based on basic research. Each book has a protagonist with strong skills or gifts, living quiet lives, until they are unexpectedly thrust into a quest to save the world/their families.
The Shadow of What Was Lost, James Islington
The Last Ranger, J.D.L. Rosell
The Song of All, Bk 1, Tina LeCount Myers
FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline).
A Talent-blind middle-aged woman searching for her kidnapped son must unblock her elemental Talent and work with an overbearing dragon to defeat a dark Talent plotting to enslave her world.
SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have.
Inner Conflict of Protagonist: Seja T’Larenn, eldest daughter of her clan, is the “Dai”, or leader of the clan, responsible for the clan’s well-being, success, and their jointly-owned land. Raised by parents who valued self-control above displays of affection, and whose love was conditional on meeting their standards of behavior and achievement, Seja learned she was not worthy of love unless she could do everything for herself to a very high standard. In her mind, showing vulnerability and needing help invites rejection. 16 years ago her husband Teral left her, and she believes it was her fault he was unhappy. Her emotional journey is learning that she’s worthy of love, it’s alright to need others, be vulnerable, and accept help without feeling like a failure.
Scenario: While searching for her kidnapped son, she’s captured by a group of border raiders and discovers her long-lost husband is with them. He pretends not to know her, and she notices he is close to another woman in the group. This confirms her belief she isn’t worthy of love, but seeing it with her own eyes is devastating. Teral visits secretly one night, wanting to talk, but she expresses her pain as rage, pouring out so much vitriol he never gets a word in, and has to leave before others notice.
The next day she’s tortured by the group’s leader to find out what she knows. That night Teral’s female companion comes to clean and heal Seja’s wounds. Bound hand and foot, Seja must allow it, but is angry and silent. As she works on Seja’s wounds, the woman quietly tells Seja what happened to Teral, and how they’re unwillingly trapped in this group. Seja doesn’t respond and the woman leaves. But Seja considers what the woman said and begins to get the barest glimmer that it might not be all ‘her fault’. Maybe Teral’s discontent was partly due to his own dreams of what his life could be, and his failure to communicate with her.
A few nights later, when others are asleep, Teral and the woman come to the tent. They untie Seja, give her food and water, and together they sneak out of camp. They plan to help Seja escape, and they’ll escape in another direction. As they get away someone wakes up, notices Seja is gone, and the group comes after them. As they run Teral is wounded by an arrow. They find a cave to hide in. Teral insists Seja get away. She runs but is torn with many conflicting emotions, including gratitude, anger, fear, regret.
Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment.
Secondary/Inner Conflict with Social Environment & Family: Seja was one of the strongest earth Talents in many generations and known throughout her region. Earth Talent gave her the ability to heal and to nurture the soil, plants and animals. It also helped her become highly skilled at spinning and weaving.
When her husband left 16 years ago without explanation, Seja suppressed her pain and rejection so completely she can no longer use her earth Talent. Losing her abilities is shattering. She feels worthless and blames herself, without understanding it’s a problem she could resolve by facing her inner pain.
Scenario: Seja is ‘Talent-blind’, and Nerreth society looks down on the Talent-blind. Elemental Talents allow the Talented person to draw the life-force of the planet and use it manipulate earth, water, fire or air, in various ways. Talents also help people produce crafts and other goods to a very high standard. Now Seja cannot heal others, and her craft-work is seen as low quality by her country’s standards. Plus, working the farm without earth Talent to assist is far more difficult.
Scenarios: At the beginning of the story the barn burns down. Seja and her son can’t put the fire out. It would’ve been easy if she still had Talent. Even more humbling, she can’t heal their wounds, so they’re healed by the village healer.
After her son leaves to start his apprenticeship Seja’s family is concerned she can’t take care of the farm alone. Her sister wants to move to the farm so her children can learn more about farming. Seja refuses because, as she sees it, she’s being treated as a decrepit old woman who can’t fend for herself.
Seja and her daughter Jyra don’t get along. Jyra blames her mother for her father’s desertion, and doesn’t understand why her mother hasn’t got over it yet. Jyra is ashamed that her mother, once a respected healer and farmer, is now Talent-blind.
FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail.
I’ve done a lot of world-building, but I’ve tried to minimize geeky details that don’t affect the plot much.
Planet: The planet Tal’effa averages a little cooler than Earth. Natural laws are approximately the same, but the plants, animals and people are different than Earth’s in some ways. There are naturally-occurring dragons. There’s only one moon, and its shadows look like a dragon, just as shadows on Earth’s full moon look like a rabbit or a face. Dragons are significant in all cultures, though in different ways.
The action takes place in the northern hemisphere. Two large continents are separated by about one-third of the planet’s surface. There are relatively few people. They’ve invented things like water mills, ore refineries and metal working, sailing, pottery and glass, but there’s no large-scale industries. It’s only in the last 100 years that sailing vessels could reliably make the journey between continents. Most people live at a pre-industrial level of development.
Talent: Talent is genetic. Having an elemental Talent means the person can draw on the natural energy (life-force) of one, sometimes two, elements, Air, Water, Fire and Earth, to do things like affect the weather in a limited area, create a fire, move large amounts of earth, heal injuries, encourage plants to grow, etc. People have varying levels of Talent, just like any other inherited trait. About 5% of people are born highly Talented.
Cost of Talent: The effort of drawing on elemental energy to perform tasks uses bodily energy. Constant overuse, especially when young, can eventually result in weakened bones and muscles, affect brain or nervous system function, and reduce the body’s ability to fight germs and disease.
Dark Talent: Using Talent for dark purposes, like hurting or killing other living beings, causes negative effects on the user to a greater degree than simple overuse.
The Three Lands (western continent)
Nerreth: Main character’s country. Covers most of the western half of the continent, geography and climate similar to western Norway; generally cool, with snowy winters and mild summers. The coast is cliffs or narrow bands of sloping land. Rivers run from the central mountains into long glacier-carved sea inlets. People farm or graze livestock on the sloping ground along sea inlets, or in a few inland valleys.
Nerreth is socially and politically different than its neighbors. Inheritance and family lines are matrilineal. It elects leaders, there is no noble class, and it doesn’t keep a standing army. From birth, all Nerreth citizens learn to contribute to the common good as needed, for the benefit of all. All Nerrethans are artistic/creative to various extents. They believe if you’re going to make a thing, it should be well-made and beautiful, as well as useful.
These characteristics make Nerreth seem weak to other countries. Some story conflict is because the neighboring country, Riata, is plotting to take over Nerreth for its rich silver ore deposits, abundant water, timber and fish stocks, as well as its people who produce finely-crafted goods.
Talents in Nerreth: All Nerrethans with Talent are trained from childhood in mental focus techniques so they can use Talent and remain healthy. Nerreth is also the only country that requires an Oath to prevent Talented people from hurting others or themselves. The Oath brings immediate physical consequences for dark use of Talents.
Most people use Talent to augment their skills. Nerreth society has high expectations for the highly-Talented. There’s little social tolerance for low quality. The Talent-blind, or those with low Talent, must work harder to meet expectations, or find careers where Talent isn’t relevant.
Low Talented people like Seja’s son Giri, and her aunt Riann, have sour feelings about Nerrethan attitudes towards Talent. They did their training, but have decided life is easier if they pretend they have none at all.
Nerreth Scenes:
The T’Larenn family farm. Set on a northern sea inlet, where the River Larenn meets ocean water. The land and house are owned by the whole family, but it’s inhabited by the eldest daughter of the direct family line, currently the protagonist, Seja. It's a big responsibility, including livestock, grazing land, forest preserve, the house and outbuildings. It’s meant to be run by a family.
Multiple opening scenes happen on the farm. Family members visit for a holiday, or to see Seja. A barn catches fire and burns down because Seja and son Giri can’t put it out alone. Other family members begin to question whether Seja can continue managing alone, after her son leaves home.
The village of Jirrin is a 30-minute ride east from the farm. Possible scene showing Seja and her daughter Jyra disagreeing about whether Seja should look for Giri.
The Dragon Spines. High central mountain range on Nerreth’s eastern border with Riata. These form the continental divide. It’s a remote rugged area with just a few small villages.
Seja travels alone into the Dragon Spines to find her son. On her journey she gets caught in a large storm, takes shelter in a cave, is caught in a cave-in, meets a dragon, and is captured by Riatan border raiders.
Seja’s son Giri, a secondary POV character, travels to the Spines with Riann in a trade caravan. They escape a mud slide, and Giri is captured by border raiders.
Various dragon characters live in these mountains and reveal themselves to the main character during the story. The young dragon Falyrra, a secondary POV character, becomes Seja's travel companion.
Riata: Riata is east of the Dragon Spines. It’s the same latitudes as Nerreth, but extends further south. The rain shadow of the Dragon Spines make Riata generally drier.
Society and government are based on inheritance through the male line. There is a tradition of consensus and balance of power between the King and the Advisors, so no one gains a long-term advantage. But there’s always an unhappy minority wanting more power.
Riatans know of Talent but there are fewer Talented people than in Nerreth. Riata doesn’t require an Oath or training, so fewer survive to middle age.
Riata Scenes:
Riatan raiders prey on Nerrethan trade caravans passing through the mountains.
Giri is captured by Riatan raiders in the Dragon Spine mountains.
Seja’s missing husband is trapped into working for Riatan raiders. If he tries to leave he’ll be killed.
Seja is captured by Riatan border raiders working for the antagonist. Teral helps her escape.
The antagonist uses these groups to put his followers on the border of Nerreth. There they look for highly-Talented people to enslave, as he works towards taking over the continent.
The antagonist, Kasiran, spends time in the capital, Reatha, a port city at the mouth of the Temyr River. He meets political officials and begins subverting the discontented minority of Riatan royal Advisors for his purposes.
Kasiran and his followers take over an abandoned fort, Ryemin, on the Temyr River. This is where Seja and the dragon find him. A number of battles are fought here before Kasiran is defeated.
Eras: Eras is mostly arid, with few known natural resources. Much of the country is ungoverned. It’s hard to settle border disputes because the ruler may not be acknowledged by all the tribes. The population is made up of indigenous groups that follow the weather and movement of herd animals for survival. The primary ones are Ayamel, Kiatren, and Xeralan. Elemental Talents are rare, seem to occur randomly, and Erasnans are suspicious of them. Because there’s no Oath or training, fewer Talented people survive to middle age.
Eras Scenes: So far there are none located in Eras. Seja’s aunt Riann leads the trade caravan Giri is kidnapped from. Riann has a long-time partnership with an Ayamel tribal group from Eras who serve as caravan guards.
Arjenkaria (eastern continent)
Generally warmer than the Three Lands. Two major mountain ranges run north to south, one on the west side, the other on the east side. The central plain averages 2-3,000 feet altitude. In the north it’s predominantly wet grassland, transitioning to drier biomes south of the capital, Abirkan. The main city in southern Arjenkaria is Tajor. The northern, ‘northran’ culture tends to dominate the country. Southern Arjenkaria tends to be drier, more rural, and people are poorer. There is some low-key social stigma attached to being ‘southran’.
“The Thirteen” are ancient noble families descended from highly-Talented war-lords who amassed feudal territories before the country’s political Consolidation 1,000 years ago. Below them are nobles, merchants, and the labor class. Noble families outside The Thirteen rose to power after the Consolidation.
Nobles are born with surnames. Everyone else must earn a surname. Surnames can be awarded by serving the monarch, or for notable military or government services. People who’ve acquired enough wealth and reputation can apply for a surname from the government, and hope it’s granted. Those in the labor class have little social mobility, unless they have a lot of Talent. All nobility treat anyone in the labor class as servants.
Government: The Monarch (m. or f.) must come from The Thirteen, and must have strong Talent. Monarch and Council of Nobles govern the country. The Monarch has veto power, but must also please the Council members or potentially face a coup. Coups are common, and can be deadly or just exile. Council then chooses the strongest Talent from the next generation of the Monarch’s clan as new Monarch, unless there’s a strong negative trait that rules them out. Refusal to become Monarch can also be hazardous.
Exclusionists: An extremist minority who believe the highly-Talented are inherently superior beings, and by natural right should rule over low-Talents. They have not been able to gain enough influence on the Council to enforce their beliefs through laws, so their political power waxes and wanes.
Talents: In Arjenkaria the frequency of highly-talented people is the same, around 5% of the population. Arjenkarians consider the highly-Talented to be blessed by their gods, and thus more worthy of respect. Talented children of all classes are required to attend an academy in the nearest large city. No vow is required. Talented can use their gifts for any purpose, as long as it’s discreet and doesn’t cause embarrassment or expense to the government. Frequent Dark use results in the user’s disease and death, reducing the Talented population.
Sweeps: The government conducts annual Sweeps to find highly talented children in the merchant and labor classes who’ve reached age six. The children are removed from their families for training and become wards of the monarchy. They must serve the monarchy for 10 years. The family is paid off.
Arjenkaria Scenes:
The antagonist, Kasiran, lives in Arjenkaria. His first scene is in Abirkan, when he’s “Swept” at age six.
There are multiple scenes at the talent academy, a fortified compound outside of Abirkan. Kasiran learns to use all four elemental Talents (very rare). He gradually falls into darker and darker uses of Talent. He accidentally kills a classmate.
The academy headmaster has him abducted and abandoned in the wilderness.
We next see Kasiran as an angry young adult living in Abirkan. He’s a very powerful Talent. Any remorse or kindness he might have had is gone. All he wants now is to control everyone around him, to use them as he wants. He begins gathering followers from the Exclusionists.
He decides to use the Exclusionists to further his ambitions. The Three Lands is a softer target, so he takes a ship to Riata.
For some reason the forum will only let me change a few words here and there. So I've written a revised answer to the 4th Assignment - Comps. COMPARABLES Revised Version. Recent Titles: It’s been difficult to find newer fantasy epics with middle-aged protagonists. I’ve listed the three below based on reading the samples and plot descriptions. Each has a protagonist with strong skills or gifts, living quiet lives until they’re unexpectedly thrust into a quest to save the world/their families. The Shadow of What Was Lost, James Islington The Last Ranger, J.D.L. Rosell The Song of All, Bk 1, Tina LeCount Myers Older Titles: Eye of the World, series, Robert Jordan: While I'm not at the level of Robert Jordan, his "magic" system is similar in that it uses inborn gifts that need mental focus to use, and they can be difficult or impossible to use if the practitioner has an emotional difficulty. I see the two series below as “aspirational” in their prose style and characterizations. I like the authors’ writing, the action moves at a good pace, and the characters are relatable (and past their 20's, with life experience to show for it). The world-building is detailed and feels “lived in”. Legend of Paksennarion series, Elizabeth Moon: A protagonist unaware of the magic he’s inherited, until he finds his unknown family background. Protag and allies must protect their kingdoms from dark magic. World of Five Gods series, Lois McMaster Bujold: Two of the three books in this trilogy have middle-aged protagonists who must use their wits and life experience to defeat dark-magic antagonists. Meanwhile, the search for more recent comp titles goes on…