Macen

So just a quick caveat--- I have a bit of a prologue accompanying the story, but this is the opening scene from the first proper chapter. OPENING SCENE - Introduces the main character, primary setting, tone, and sets up the MC's core wound for later exposition. Her eyes burned in their sockets, bleary and staring back at her, forced open by synthetic hormones. She was geeked up on pseudo-drenaline and nano-enhancers, hardly able to recognize her own strained reflection in the window. It leapt out at her from the darkened night behind the paned glass, like some ghastly apparition. The still wet dots of red and black splayed across her coffee colored skin became a focal point against the drifting tides of a mind she could no longer contain. Styrene, human waste, and the stench of ozone clung to her nostrils. Acid raged at the back of her throat. Ragged memories blitzed through her mind. A distorted voice, beckoned to her in dark lustful delight hijacking her thoughts. “Breed with us.” It said in deep baritone, only to morph into the innocent voice of a child. “We…are…the future.” It whispered, chased by the crackle of an ionic discharge. Kenisha started in her seat, thrust awake. Headed to the hospital, she was still in the taxi, on her way to see her son. She let out a shudder. Her breath fogged the window. The autopilot broke what little concentration she’d managed to muster. “Increasing ambient temperature by two degrees.” It said. Fine droplets of rain played a rhythm across the aerodyne’s windshield, sparkling with embers of neon from the city’s lights. High above, the dome’s orange membrane highlighted a piece of dark sky between the clutter of architecture. Down below, incandescent transport tubes crisscrossed between high rises connecting the citiscape. Holographic adverts and augmented reality painted a picture of unending commerce and moving art. Save for the rain, the drone of the skycar’s engines muted the outside world. Thin green lines of light oscillated across the taxi’s cabin, scanning everything in sight. “Biological fluids detected. Releasing decontaminant solution.” the autopilot said. A fine mist released into the compartment. “Re-establishing cabin safety parameters.” Fresh air whooshed in through several vents as the bad air was suctioned out. “Complimentary decon wipes are made available to all of our passengers.” the computer announced. “A sterile dome is a safe dome.” It said. A slit opened in the upholstery and ejected a scented strip of fibrous paper. Stripping the zone’s filth from her skin was therapeutic in a way; watching the grime evaporate with the tissue into thin air as she dragged it across her skin. When she was done, she hastily reapplied some light makeup from a compact in her thigh pouch. Her hands were shaking. She pressed them against her thighs sliding sweaty palms back and forth across the fabric. “Elevated heart rate detected. Do you require medical attention?” The computer asked. “No, just keep going.” She said, dismissively. Her heart pulsed in her ears. “You know what? Fuck this.” She uttered on a sharp breath, snatched an injector from her coat and shot herself in the neck. Five cc’s of Dryft hissed into her veins; medicine for cyborgs; an anxiolytic laden with nanites to impede overclocked processors. She plummeted back into the cushioned seating, limbs twitching as they fought back, until her body finally succumbed. Floating within, she let the cyber drugs take hold as the taxi spiraled through virtual beacons in a smooth descent. “Now arriving at the Dome Medical Institute.” the computer said. The craft set down gently onto a landing pad. Kenisha waved her hand across a screen that displayed the fare. The computer blipped. A gameshow jingle played. “Citizen ID Chip Index detected. Reigns, Kenisha. Care to play the lottery? Win a free ride. Lose and double your fee.” “Just give me the damn bill.” She said, tired. The effects of the Dryft injection came bearing down on her with the full weight of the last several days, all at once it seemed. “Charging twelve thousand cyber credits to your account.” The computer said. It blipped a couple of times. Her hand tingled with a light vibration. “Transaction complete.” It finished. Inside her palm the personal details of her account displayed in glowing blue digits beneath the skin. They called them sadiqi’s for short. Razor thin and made of durable bio-film, the sophisticated circuitry could be found embedded in the hand of every dome citizen; registered ones at least. It was a complete citizenship record and account unique to each dome resident. “Thanks for flying Vogel Skycab. Enjoy your evening.” The computer said. Kenisha instinctively moved to reply, thought better of it, and simply left the cab. The unmanned transport lifted off and peeled away into the night. She parted through the rain, huddled beneath her coat when she felt the drops against her skin. They were clear, lightweight, clean, even. She paused for a moment to rub her fingers together, moistening them with the pure water. One level below in her part of the dome’s archology, they got the sludgefall-–heavy droplets that became darker and thicker the further down you went. On a whim, she opened her mouth and tilted her head back extending her tongue. Fresh water. Waiting at the door, an attendant greeted her with a smile. The Solstice Roboroid logo was etched into its forehead. Androgynous, skinned in a pearly elastomer, the fluidity with which it moved surpassed that of even the most graceful ballerina. “Welcoming our latest winner of the Healthcare Lottery. Happy day to you, Detective.” It said. “I’m Sandy 13. How may I be of service today?” The facility was state of the art. Scanners in the wall had already detected her sadiqi and passed the information along to every android on site. “I’m here to see my son.” She said. “Certainly, Ms. Reigns. This way please.” It curtsied and pointed the way. “It’s Detective.” Kenisha corrected the machine on her way past, headed inside. “Of course.” The android bowed respectfully.

I wasn't too sure on how much or how little to write for the story statement. I suppose it could be a lot less but here's what I have so far: STORY STATEMENT: A reprimanded cop in a gritty future must rescue the governor's daughter or lose her retirement benefits and remain stuck on a earth. (It's more or less, "Save the girl or you're screwed." which blossoms into a more complicated plot later.) ANTAGONIST: With the charisma of Charles Manson and the guile of Shoko Asahara, Syd Magnus is a popular thought leader dubbed domestic terrorist by the government. Head of the dissident group Children of the Dome, Syd advocates for a repeal of the harsh restrictions on dome resources, persecution of meta-sapiens, and an end to the lottery based economy. He gains the support of the people by hijacking food and medical resources, redistributing them to those residing in the lower levels of the dome. behind the scenes however, he utilizes mercenaries to steal implants from citizens and sabotages infrastructure in the upper levels. Ultimately he seeks to create a state of total anarchy where he can rule over the chaos. His personality profile is ENFP as he is very charismatic and open to his followers, able to understand and empathize with others easily. His enneagram is 4w9; he’s very driven to have an impact on the world and leave behind some kind of legacy. Born in the wasteland, he eventually found his way to the dome’s underbelly where he discovered the disparity between those living in Junktown beneath the city and those all the way at the top. BREAKOUT TITLE: 1) City of Lost Souls (It's a play on Los Angeles as this the story's setting) 2) Flatliner (In the story's future, killing is called flatlining and the MC's job is to flatline criminals too dangerous to apprehend) 3) Deadlined (A military term for equipment that is non-mission capable; a play on the MC's status because her retirement is suspended and because she often renders cyborgs deadlined) 4) Shadow Stalker: Exodus (The MC's position within the police is that of a Shadow Stalker and her goal is Exodus to Mars.) I think this is the one I'm going with since I'm planning a series. The first book is Exodus (mc goes to Mars), second is Advent (mc returns to Earth), and third is Genesis (everything changes including the mc). COMPARABLES - WIP 1) Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan-- The world is similar; distant future of humanity; extraterrestrial influence; the meaning of existence has changed; there's a caste system; body augmentation is common; it's gritty cyberpunk themed. 2) The Shard by Gabrielle Snyder; similar genre; cyberpunk; gritty 3) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick-- Similar concept; special police hunt fugitives with superhuman capabilities; humanity is questioned; 4) Neuromancer by William Gibson; core cyberpunk themes HOOK LINE Reprimanded for excessive force, a detective on a dystopian Earth with a sick child in tow must get offworld to find the cure, but when a politician’s daughter goes missing she is forced to solve one last case before they’ll let her leave. CONFLICT (So my primary conflict is made up of several obstacles which I have to distinguish from being secondary conflict. As part of the primary conflict, the MC has to find and rescue the kidnap vicitim, stop an ancient weapon of war, and stop a virus all so she can complete her main goal of getting her son to Mars.) Primary: Kenisha has to do the government’s bidding or they will take away her one chance to cure her son’s illness. Her main function within the department is that of a Shadow Stalker–to hunt down and terminate fugitive metahumans and illegally modified cyborg criminals. This problem magnifies in scale from simply following orders and investigating a case outside her jurisdiction (find and rescue the governor’s kidnapped daughter) to stopping a terror plot that involves a viral weapon of mass destruction. Warned not to fly off the handle, Kenisha still needs to do things her way because she’s running out of time and the stakes have increased considerably. Angered because the case keeps growing into more work she is constantly struggling with a desire to resolve things in the most violent ways possible to expedite closure. Secondary: Her son has Addelburgh Syndrome a genetic mutation caused from living in the dome. It is the primary cause of meta-sapiens (mutants) which have to be registered and forced to live under restrictive conditions or face termination. As it is Kenisha’s main job to hunt down unregistered meta-sapiens, she doesn’t want this fate for her son. A cure allegedly exists on Mars, but those who have already transformed aren’t allowed to leave Earth. While she is stuck doing the governor’s bidding, her son’s condition is rapidly worsening. Additionally, she has a strong prejudice against sentient androids which are a common part of the workforce. Her late husband was murdered by hacked androids used to gut him for his implants. Interpersonal Conflicts: -A stern but loving mother, Kenisha constantly battles between the two sides of her persona for her son’s sake. By day, she is a shadow stalking killing machine; by night she becomes the compassionate mom with the aid of cyber-synaptic repressor drugs. -She has somewhat of a father-daughter relationship with her boss, Chief Flannigan, but over the years her disregard for the rules has strained things. With the magnitude of this latest case, his hands are tied leaving him with little room to protect her should she go astray. He is also hesitant to lose his best Shadow Stalker. -Syd Magnus, the main antagonist is the estranged half-brother of the Dome’s governor. Syd wants revenge for having been left behind to die in the wasteland years ago, when his brother fled for the dome. Syd’s relationship to the governor is unknown by virtually everyone in the dome. Also, unbeknownst to the main character, it was Syd's doing the led to the murder of her husband. -Sari, the governor’s daughter has long been the compassionate face of the governor’s cabinet, however she is unwittingly converted to Syd’s radical organization, developing Stockholm syndrome which complicates her rescue. -Kenisha’s new partner, Saiko is a pre-dome cyber soldier. Due to the age of his implants and wartime trauma, he is more unhinged than she ever appears to be. Ironically, Kenisha is often forced to rein him in. Hypothetically, the MC's son's illness could advance faster than she anticipates forcing her to conceal his condition from the police for fear of him being taken away or executed. Also, it could prevent her from taking him to Mars should she finally complete the case and receive her exodus. SETTING The year is 2330. Over a hundred years since the Last Great War and an extraterrestrial event known as the Arrival, mankind has coalesced into pockets of totalitarianism, composed of hermetically sealed domes encapsulating all that remains of Earth’s humanity. Only a few major hubs remain on each continent. Outside the domes awaits an unpleasant wasteland for those who dare, populated by freak mutations and wandering military combat drones in the wake of nuclear tumbleweeds. The massive population clusters that gathered under the safety of the domes saw a boom in technology leading up to the war, fought over resources and land as the world’s population soared. Fearing an extinction event, extraterrestrial visitors known only as the Overseers arrived to end the fighting but in doing so, dragged Kuiper Belt objects with them raining intense meteor showers onto the Earth. Having worsened the situation, it is believed they constructed the domes as rectification. The Last War as it has been named in history books, ushered in new technologies such as self aware automatons, cybernetic augmentation, and genetic manipulation. Flying cars and the neural data network have given way to a society at peak levels of interaction and productivity limited only by resource availability and the confined space of this new habitat crafted by aliens. Inside the Nuevos Angeles dome, an arcology stretching kilometers into the sky, three levels of society exist on tremendous platforms extending to the dome’s top. Nearest the bottom are the Grubs; those who rely heavily upon social assistance to survive, otherwise etching out a living as low level maintenance workers and insect farmers. At the center, the Grinders; the skilled labor force of the dome. And at the top, the Boujees; the social elite, mostly heads of government and titans of industry. The three levels within, referred to as zones are connected by a large tube at the center, using lifts powered by artificial gravity generated by the dome itself. With social disparity at its limits, those residing below zone one are forced to play the lottery system for things as basic as groceries to more complex such as health care and retirement. While each level could be a small nation on its own, given the differences in architecture, sociocultural norms, and even language, they all fall under the rule of one man–the dome’s governor, a position he holds for life, usually ending when he appoints a successor. Due to overcrowding, crime is near uncontrollable. Add mutant renegades who refuse persecution, cyber enhanced thieves, and glitched a.i.’s and it descends into a state of near anarchy. To combat this problem the dome government instituted the Heinous Crimes Unit, an elite organization of police known as Shadow Stalkers tasked with tracking and eliminating upgraded fugitives deemed too difficult to apprehend. Outside the dome—wasteland; hellish earth, populated by post and pre-war hazards, scavenger gangs, and mutant exiles from the dome. A place where the skies burn red choked with black clouds. Those who are able have migrated to Mars, a now terraformed paradise also gifted by the alien visitors. To ensure its purity, harsh restrictions must be met and mutants are prohibited. As extra precaution, the dome governments of the world have collectively set standards to prevent the ruination of Mars. Primarily, completion of a 30 year government service contract for non-hazardous duty; 20 for hazardous. Those not in service to their birth dome, play the lottery. At most, a tenth of a percent of any Dome is permitted exodus to Mars each year.