New York Write to Pitch "First Pages" - 2022, 2023, 2024
A forum for New York pitch event alums to post samples of their scenes and prose narrative for detailed critique according to Algonkian Author Connect guidelines. Emphasis on choice of set, narrative cinema, quality of dialogue, metaphor, static and dynamic imagery, interior monologue, general clarity, tone, suspense devices, and routine line editing issues as well.
258 topics in this forum
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Dragon Nightmare? Only two more centuries. I’m never going to make it. Quarter to midnight, six hours left. Kay Linda Taylor worried she wasn’t going to make it and then jumped when her mother came to check on her. Angrily she said, “Why are you up? You don’t have to worry about me, I can worry about myself. It’s my own fault I have to cram for this history test.” “You and Mary had fun taking care of Grandpop, before he died. There is more to life than A’s,” her mother said. “If you’re Mary, and are rich with a legacy, there is. But not me. If I want to go to an Ivy league school I have to get As. All As. But you wouldn’t understand because you don’t underst…
Last reply by K LMHS Turner, -
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FIRST CHAPTER: Antagonist introduced. Tone and sci-fi setting introduced. A tragedy sets in motion the Protag's emotional arc and the mystery of the book. CHAPTER 1 – DEEN’S DAD GOES MAD It’s a shame to be losing my mind on such a good night. As my ten-year-old son Deen hops carefully over the colorful reflections in a puddle, he looks up. I smile as his wondrous eyes track the multicolored glints that flutter around in the air like butterflies. Funny little balls of light, glints. Usually only yellow, green, and blue ones come out. But tonight, the air sparkles with the whole rainbow. Deen ignores my outstretched hand in …
Last reply by Brady Hart, -
*Opening Scene: Introduces the protagonist, establishes primary conflict, setting, tone, and briefly introduces an important secondary character. Chapter 1: Day 0, Saturday Night Declan I’m pretty sure I just died. Or I am dead. Either way, no one noticed. I’m not even sure I noticed. Here’s what I got: I remember leaving the gym just after 8:30 pm. Our school was going nuts in the stands because the star forward, Derek, twisted his ankle minutes before the close of the first half. And if he was down, I was up. No one wanted to see that, especially me. While our school’s version of LeBron rolled on the floor,…
Last reply by Courtney McColl, -
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Scene: states the family and depression as the antagonists, conflicted as how to break away and overcome; taking place between Southern California and Ohio. When an X becomes a check The thing of depression, in this, these far deeper dredges than those of your run-of-the-mill San Diego blues, of what I wrote in Lights at the end of the tunnel, is that I never had a choice. Or a chance. Raised by two joyless, egotistical co-dependents whose only semblance of happiness came from the child, I was not provided the adequate tools to experience anything other. As such, my life, this life, has been nothing but one unending quest to find. An epic jo…
Last reply by Dylan Night, -
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This is the first Chapter of my psychological thriller featuring the confession of a career politician who has chosen to detail the night she evolved from the weakest in her morally corrupt, wealthy family to the strongest. From the Office of Sen. Annalisa M. Blackburn-Moore Congratulations. And, I suppose, thank you. I’m not exactly sure why I am thanking you. I know that I should- that reading my story is an investment of your time and, after all, what is more precious than our time? I have learned that the hard way, but really, whoever learns when things are easy? Anyways, considering that sharing my story with you essentially clinches my own d…
Last reply by LBS, -
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Astray is a psychological suspense novel featuring the story of a young woman who returns to Alaska to confront the family she believes to have abandoned her and to reopen the case of her mother's supposed death by overdose. Aurora blinked hard, squeezing her eyes tightly before squinting into the darkness of the poorly lit trailer she called home. The living room was a foreign blur, and while the ashtrays and open bottles of her mother’s party littered every surface around her, the only image she could pull into focus was the huddled mass on the stained and faded carpet. Mama. Daddy. Their heads so close and their limbs so intertwined that for a mo…
Last reply by LBS, -
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Chapter 1: Lost in Fog The air was filled with a thick and oppressive industrial fog as Constant worked. It hung across the workcamp in a uniform haze almost suffocating in its intensity, forcing Constant to breath slowly throughout the day lest he find himself gasping helplessly for breath. Was this fog the work of the Panathema Box and its opening, or was it merely the work of mankind’s industrial greed? The answer was beyond Constant’s vision. The pun was almost funny. Constant was busy hauling. It was the job that had been given to him by the Assignment Bureau three weeks ago. He had been visited by one of their agents, in a military uniform, flanked…
Last reply by Nick Galluzzi, -
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“So, what’s your story, pal?” He glanced over. Though in pain, the Marine smiled at him from the next bed. It was clear he was talking to him, but Albert Campbell was unsure whether to speak or remain silent. He’d been watching the infantryman all night, but now that the larger man was awake, he remembered he made a practice of avoiding soldiers like him, to shrink away from their brash, loud demeanor, their violence. Perhaps, it was better to remain unseen, unheard. “Hello? Hey, yeah, I’m talking to you. What are you here for?” No such luck. “A mortar,” Albert replied haltingly. “It hit my regiment’s kitchen.” He lifted the thin blanket to reveal…
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Last reply by Marlena, -
Crossroad Blues by Ariel Elaine Slick Prologue Beatrice As the pallbearers lowered my sister’s body into the warm, rich earth, I wondered whether any change would have made any difference. Did any of us have the slightest control over the situation—except him? Perhaps it was useless to think so. Every tiny detail led me here, and I had a feeling, would keep leading me here, no matter what I did to stop it. Because I did try to stop it. I really did. Chapter 1 The devil's gonna git you Oh the devil's gonna git you Man the devil's gonna git you Sure as you're born to die -Bessie Smith Azoma, Louisiana, 1924 Beatrice The Vic…
Last reply by Marlena, -
CSO Opening
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Last reply by MKG, -
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The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. John 10:10 Chapter One - The Chef To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Shakespeare, Hamlet. A famous Chef once said to turn every disadvantage to your advantage. It was the same Chef that stood before me now at the entrance of Bodkin House Hotel, a 17th Century Coaching Inn and former 12th Century Priory in Petty France, on the edge of the Badminton Estate. We had just had a busy Sunday lunch service, and I was still hungover from the night before. I wondered if I was hallucinating or whether Gordon Ramsay was standing in recept…
Last reply by Lucy Falconer, -
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Last reply by ldhawke, -
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Shitcoin Secrets Chapter 1 It was a decade ago and I had just gotten out of a psychiatric facility. I had capitulated IRL — ate all of my fucked-up dog’s Phenobarbital in an effort to meet God and punch him in the face for the shitty hand he dealt me. Somehow, they brought me back from the flatline, although there are times, I wish they hadn’t. Seven rounds of electroshock therapy, an assortment of psych meds, and a month in the looney bin later they let me go. It was far from the first time, but it would be the last, unless there’s another all-encompassing meltdown looming in the distance. What made this particular suicidal sabbatical different from prior …
Last reply by QuintenHayley, -
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The Mad-Happy Chapter 1 I always wanted to be beautiful. My partner told me I was and I’m sure he had meant it, but I didn’t want to be beautiful only like that. I wanted to be the type of beautiful that stops a stranger mid-step, turns him around and makes him run after me. They do that now. That’s why I hid in the trees. So, I sat in a tall, tree canopy, concealed by leaves, and watched the weedy, unkempt parking lot of the Kingston Penitentiary in the distance. Everything was silent, as it had been for almost two years. The majority of the inhabitants of Kingston, Canada were dead, as were the majority of inhabitants of every city, everywhe…
Last reply by Marlena, -
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Opening Scene - introduces protagonist, setting and other POV characters. CHAPTER ONE: SIBBY Good coffee and pumpkin chocolate chip muffins brought everyone together in a way that made Sibby believe in world peace for a few minutes every day. Add a sunshiny October day and everything seemed like it would turn out okay. A warm wind shoved last night’s chill away, as if telling winter to back the hell off. Sibby Wicklow needs a few more weeks of good business. The maples in Prayer Grove rustled with their glorious rare red as the sun rose over the mountains. Hikers had been crowding the cafe all morning, going on about the leaves! The leaves! The leaves! Ji…
Last reply by Ariel Slick, -
1980 Three men remained silent as they sat in the car. Two in the front seat. One in the back. Easing up slowly to the end of the street, the driver killed the lights and brought the car to a stop by the side of the dark, dilapidated building. The right-side rear door of the car opened, and a man got in. The front seat passenger watched with concern, then asked, “Where’s Angel?” “How the fuck should I know? I’m here. Worry about that,” the man replied curtly, annoyed at his lack of concern for him. Again, they sat silent, but only for a moment. “Are you sure about this? I think we’re going too big. It’s too soon.” “Y…
Last reply by Ariel Slick, -
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Life is a hornets’ nest. If I don’t poke it, it won’t sting me. But now I’ve got hornets everywhere. Not literally, which is unfortunate because a literal hornets’ nest in my studio could be my get out of jail free card. I would kill for anything even remotely hornet-adjacent right now. When I agreed to this fiasco, Open Studios was shrouded in the mists of an unimaginable future, five whole months away. Now it’s here, and the sunlight that slants through my north-facing windows throws into brutal relief every reason I should not allow the general public into my space: bits of colored tin on every surface, gouges in the wood table where I eat my sad little solo …
Last reply by Ariel Slick, -
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Scene: Chapter Four. Jo returns to New York from visiting Madeleine in Florida after receiving a telegram from Orson Welles asking to meet. He wants to premiere "Citizen Kane" at the Palace Theater and needs someone to show him around. The scene captures Jo's passions and core decency - and why the movies matter to her. He wanted to meet at midnight.docx
Last reply by Saladin Ambar, -
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Friday One Every night starts the same. The pregame. The debauchery before the debauchery. An excuse to get drunk before the actual drinking starts. Tonight, the pregame is at my apartment. Graduating college was supposed to have magically matured me. I took enough social science classes, to have crawled from my cave. If the exhilaration of “SOC 2200 – Working Women” doesn’t get the engines revving on the quest to grow up, well, what possibly could? Oh, that last blue book. This was all supposed to end after shutting that last blue book. What could another keg party do for me when equipped with the weapons of knowledge? What ne…
Last reply by Alexander Muka, -
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OPENING SCENE—Introduces protagonist, antagonistic force, and backstory, as well as foreshadows upcoming events. CHAPTER 1 “We are going to have a summer we’ll never forget, I just know it girls!” Isabella gushed, with a hopeful smile that temporarily replaced the worry lines and sadness that had plagued her face for some time now. “I already know that’s true,” grumbled Cora. “I’ll never forget that you are taking away my phone and forcing me into an internet-free summer away from my friends. How can you do this to me, mom?!” “Please Cora, can’t you at least try to have a positive attitude for once? I simply …
Last reply by Kate Houser Snare, -
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OPENING SCENE - Introduces antagonist, provides initial setting, establishes tone, introduces protagonists, and foreshadows the primary conflict. CHAPTER ONE. Everyone knows that just about everything in the U. S. is shipped by trucks, more than 10 billion tons of freight each year. Trucks are indispensable. Fruit, razor blades, computers, lumber, chickens. This is the linchpin of American commerce. Put another way, trucks move 72 per cent of the nation’s goods. But not everyone knows that trucks deliver all the U. S. nuclear bombs from the factory to the military! A person might drive past a convoy full of nukes just rolling along Interstate 95 at the pos…
Last reply by Christopher, -
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Ryan stared unseeing into his oak paneled stall inside the Baltimore Blaze locker room. A decades old photograph was tacked to the wood grained back, safely secured in the plastic Ziploc baggie that Ryan had plucked from the box inside his mother’s pantry when he was eight years old. He remembered delicately placing it in the flexible, plastic pouch after carefully cutting it from the page of a sports magazine he had found discarded on the front lawn after the garbage trucks had made their weekly pickups. Every season since he started in the league it had made its way from the top drawer of Ryan’s bedroom dresser to this exact same spot. The seven by eight and half inch …
Last reply by Cindy Berry, -
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Opening scene: introduces protagonist, side character, setting, and foreshadows the underlying conflict. “Soothsayer”, my mother had called me, but I scarce believed. Assuming I dreamt through the eyes of another, she held hope that I embodied the gift of prophecy. Yet I bore no divination. These scenes dancing behind my eyelids left no poetic riddles to distill in their wake. For a time, I called them memories, believing the gods made a mistake when weaving my soul and instead of one, had woven many. Seamed together in jagged lines, each fabric of being stitched unto the other like a quilt made in darkness. The wistful tales of a child for soon those dreams plunged …
Last reply by Sarah Tubbs, -
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Back of Chapter One - Establishes Primary and secondary protagonists, their relationship, and the personal conflict that arises from it. Touches on setting and tone. Introduces secondary antagonist and foreshadows primary conflict. Anders threw a cheerful refrain into the growing raucousness as a bard fell from the bar top before he could finish his deaf tune. "Good show!" he laughed, seeming to believe that there was such a thing in this shanty town and the performance they had just endured met that most basic standard of good. "Come on Viv, crack a smile!" Vivica did no such thing, not least in part because Anders had made his demand of her with a mo…
Last reply by DomGerard, -
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Prologue – The Sunday Vinyl Project (a nonfiction memoir) May 13, 1987. My husband and I are going through the last of midterms this week. After this, it’s paper writing time. The list of chores is endless, and life goes on spinning us slowly in our tracks. To hesitate, to slow down for only a moment, would be to miss much of life’s experiences. If we could only capture some of the precious times with our children and with each other and place them in a looking glass for tomorrow. The best we can capture are two-dimensional images of a time, a person, an event... There is a piece missing that makes my heart ache in viewing the past, the spirit of that time. Captu…
Last reply by DomGerard,
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