David Stoddard

Paula made the conference valuable for writers who are serious about getting published.  She has a pleasant demeanor and genuine interest in helping each writer succeed.  The feedback was candid and to the point from Paula and other faculty members with vast publishing backgrounds and insight.  It was both a worthwhile challenge and a delight to be part of our June 2023 NYWP group comprised of dedicated writers.  They made my experience enjoyable.  Many thanks to all who put together such a terrific conference.

Opening scene - introduces protagonist - establishes primary conflict - hints at secondary conflict - reveals major settings - leads with action and suspense

FRAUD JUNGLE: The Belize Case

CHAPTER 1

The bullets whizzed past Ian MacCallister’s head as he sped down the zip line toward the wooden platform built around the trunk and into the canopy limbs of a huge Ceiba tree in the jungle of Belize.  He dangled 150 feet above the mountain stream running through the canyon below as he shot the length of the 2,300-foot span.  Because he locked the cable barrier into place at the treetop station behind him and then tossed the key, no one would be zipping after him any time soon, thus assuring his getaway.  The escape route seemed like a good idea to put some distance between himself and the three men who were out to kill him.  The spray of bullets, as he hung like a sitting duck, suggested it was not such a bright idea after all.

Leaning back as far as possible to increase his speed, Ian flew like the wind down the cable.  The horizontal position of his body also meant that the grip of his handgun in its side holster began pointing ever downward until the weapon finally loosened and fell.  MacCallister swore under his breath as he watched it plunge and disappear into the canyon below.

Fortunately, his pursuers were local types who were lousy shots, rather than skilled marksmen.  A hail of lead peppered the edges of the wooden platform as he took cover behind the massive tree trunk and climbed down the wooden steps to the forest floor below.  As a fraud investigator, MacCallister had been in plenty of dangerous situations before, but he had not anticipated that the government would put out a hit on him as he closed in on solving this case.

A run-down maintenance truck for the Bocawina National Park provided the needed transportation for MacCallister to make his escape from the trio of assailants.  A cloud of dust billowed up behind as he raced past the reddish-brown mahogany trees and clusters of bamboo.  Upon reaching the Southern Highway, he headed north and stopped the truck at the junction where the Hummingbird Highway would lead him west to Belmopan, the capital of the Central American country of Belize.  But first, an urgent phone call to the States.  And then get a gun.

The truck lurched and sputtered to a halt at the gas station near the highway junction.  Ian purchased a cheap international calling card and talked the clerk into letting him use his store phone.  The static-ridden telephone connection made it difficult for MacCallister to hear Tyrone Hillman on the other end of the line.

“Ian, are you all right?  Where are you?”

“I’m fine.  Making my way from a jungle hideout in the interior of Belize.  The fraudsters hired some local thugs who are hot on my trail.  Ty, I need you to check on Anni and make sure she is safe.  If these people connect the dots, she will be in serious danger.”

“Okay, but Anni doesn’t know who I am.”

“Yeah, well she doesn’t know me either and I’m her husband.  Get ahold of Greg and make sure he has his best security detail on constant watch over her.  I have this case pretty well sorted out, but it’s going to be messy bringing it to a head.  Nice of you to involve me in this financial circus.  I will call you again when I can.  Thanks Ty.”  Hillman heard an abrupt click as Ian hung up the phone.

MacCallister turned his attention to obtaining a handgun.  And he knew right where to get one.  He headed east to Dangriga to find the Turtle Man.

CHAPTER 2

10 DAYS EARLIER

Tyrone Hillman was in Switzerland performing contract auditing on a US company with business dealings in the landlocked country of the Alps.  The company sought a commercial loan from a financial institution that required certain accounting assurances before handing over the proceeds.  The financial institution engaged the internal audit firm owned by Tyrone to provide part of the assurance.  Ian MacCallister, known by his close friends as Mac, was the perfect person to assist him.

“Mac, I need your help on something,” he said to his laptop screen showing Ian’s face coming from the other end of the digital conversation.

“Of course.  Name it.”

“My team is poring over this company’s financial records to make sure everything is legit.  But something doesn’t smell right.  Most of these people over here speak English, but you speak their native Swiss language and it would be helpful if you could join the team for the last segment of this review.”

“Sure, I’m in.  When do you want me there?”

“As soon as you can get here.  We may have a crime on our hands.”

 

The town of Kloten, located ten kilometers north of Zürich, is the home of Flughafen Zürich AG, the largest international airport in Switzerland.  The flight into Kloten arrived precisely on time, just like everything else in Switzerland.  Ian knew the letters AG next to a Swiss business name stand for Aktien Gesellschaft, which is roughly the equivalent of a corporation in America.  He would likely be dealing with several AGs based on Tyrone’s explanation.

While the Swiss are not impressed by much of anything Americans say or do, understanding and speaking their native language, especially with a decent accent, will garner their admiration.  Ian learned to speak both German and Swiss while residing in Switzerland as a university foreign exchange student.  He fell within the rare category of an American who could actually sound like a German.  For those who are good at it, the ability comes almost naturally.  For the rest, it takes a lot of practice and twisting one’s mouth in ways not ordinarily done.  Ian’s came naturally.

“What brings you to Switzerland?” asked the customs agent in a heavy Swiss accent as he perused Ian’s passport.

“Geschäftigkeit.”  (‘Business’ in German.)

“Ach, Sie können Deutsch.”  (So, you speak German.)

“Es bitsli.”  (‘A little bit’ in Swiss)

“Und Schwyzertüütsch.”  (And Swiss German.) The agent was mildly impressed.

Ian offered a congenial closed mouth smile.

“What kind of business?”

“Some bankers are wondering whether an American company is cheating.” Ian said matter-of-factly knowing the Swiss appreciate direct, honest answers.

“Then you will have plenty to look at.”  The answer conveyed how the Swiss population feels about Americans doing business in Switzerland.  “Auf wiedersehen.”

 

1 - WRITE YOUR STORY STATEMENT

Fraud investigator Ian MacCallister exposes a brilliant and greedy scheme involving the illicit transfer of exquisite real estate in Europe and Central America.

2 - SKETCH THE ANTAGONIST FORCE IN THE STORY

The Vice President of the United States is a financial cheater.  He abuses the power of his office by siphoning funds from the US embassy in Belize to enrich himself with luxury property holdings.  With the help of an unsavory staff, he defrauds the country that elected him and rationalizes that doing so is standard fare for politicians in high office.

3 - CREATE A BREAKOUT TITLE

FRAUD JUNGLE:  The Belize Case

FRAUD JUNGLE:  Belize

FRAUD JUNGLE – Belize

4 - DEVELOP TWO SMART COMPARABLES

Written somewhat like a Clive Cussler novel, the protagonist is a cross between Cussler’s Dirk Pitt and Ben Affleck’s character (without autism) in the movie, The Accountant.

5 - WRITE YOUR HOOK LINE

Hired to investigate suspicious financial transactions undertaken by white-collar criminals, a fraud examiner cheats death at the hands of the perpetrators as he learns that busting the fraud could cost him his life, and the lives of those he loves.

6 - SKETCH OUT CONDITIONS FOR INNER CONFLICT

Primary Conflict - The fraudsters and accompanying assailants attempt to throw the investigation off course and resort to assassination attempts against the protagonist and his team.

Secondary Conflict - The wife of the fraud examiner suffers head trauma from a bicycle accident that affects her long-term memory.  He is torn by her inability to remember him as he carries on with his fraud investigation pursuits.

7 - SKETCH OUT SETTING IN DETAIL

The protagonist follows the elusive trail of money across the pristine ski slopes and quaint villages of the Swiss Alps, in a European autobahn high-speed chase, under water during a Caribbean scuba encounter, and while braving the dense jungles of Belize.