Tormented by a broken promise to his family, Danny Landon will do anything to escape his past.
Antagonist
Present: Lauren Cook is an alluring doctor with a quick-witted personality that Danny can’t help but feel attracted to, especially since she seems to accept the flaws he has kept so well-hidden from others. But Lauren has a secret of her own and will use any technique imaginable to capture Dannys attention. Her web of deception parallels that of Caroline Landon's.
Past: Caroline Landon is Danny's unreliable single mother. Young Danny finds their roles reversed as Caroline takes solace in the form of booze and men and he is forced to become her caregiver. When she crosses him in an ultimate betrayal, Danny cuts off ties but soon realizes that deceit may be hereditary.
Title
Before I Fell
Comps
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. (Nick and Amy seem to have it all, but when Amy goes missing, Nick's erratic behavior makes him the number one suspect in his wife's disappearance. Their image of the perfect couple is shattered and the truth becomes almost as unbelievable as the lie.)
Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. (Rachel jealously spies on perfect couple Scott and Megan on her daily train ride to work. When Megan goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Rachel begins her own investigation. But tumultuous flashbacks begin taking her down a dangerous path and soon not even Rachel knows who to trust.)
In the Woods by Tana French. (In the sprawling woods in Ireland, three kids run off to play but only one returns, covered in blood and amnestic of all events. Decades later, Detective Ryan still can't recall details of the day his friends went missing, but now another child is found dead in the same woods. He and his partner try to solve the case while he becomes increasingly entangled by his own haunted past.)
My novel is similar in its brooding tone and flawed-but-relatable main character, told in first person with dual timelines (Danny's childhood and present time as an adult) and multiple twists. Genre: Domestic Suspense, Coming-of-Age
Hook/Logline
Desperate to escape bitter childhood memories and a broken promise that he’s kept hidden from his adoring wife, Danny finds solace in a beguiling woman during their seemingly chance encounters. Soon he’s lost in a familiar web of deceit that threatens his perfect life.
Conflict
Core wound: Despite Danny’s bitter and lonely upbringing, he’s able to secure the affection of Maggie, a woman whom he loves wholeheartedly but believes is too good for him. He keeps his flaws hidden throughout their perfect marriage and makes a vow to never to abandon his family like he was as a child. When tragedy strikes, he's forced to break his promise and becomes tormented by this.
Secondary conflict: Enter Lauren, who seems to accept Danny for who he is, flaws and all, and distracts him from his pain and inadequacies.
Additional conflict: Danny has deep-seated feelings of insecurity, ignited by decades of abandonment, both physical and emotional. He experiences an undercurrent of sadness despite outwardly acting content. His poorly masked anxiety spirals whenever he feels things are out of control and it reaches a feverish pitch when Danny falls down the treacherous path of deception that parallels his childhood trauma.
Setting
New York office
The flawless marble lobby spans the length of an entire city block. A central steel wall tactfully conceals the bank of elevators on either side and my shoes make absurd squelching noises as I walk towards them. The building was renovated a decade ago to be sterile and imposing in an already outdated display of postural masculinity. A collection of black leather chairs cluster around a glass coffee table staged with unread books and waxy botanicals, their leaves peppered with half-moon nail marks from visitors doubting their authenticity. The faint fragrance of floor cleaner and polished metal gives off a tangy, coppery scent like the pennies you’d occasionally slip into your mouth as a kid. People joke that even the lobby smells like money, but I know it’s just trying to overcompensate for aging architecture and unreliable toilets.
Childhood home
The grass in front is overgrown. Thistles and nightshade and other toxic foliage sprout up to conceal half-hidden objects that my mother must not’ve had the energy to dispose of properly. The weeds have grown so high in some spots that they’ve toppled over, snapping themselves in half from the weight, self-destructing with greed.
I step out and walk to the front door as grasshoppers catapult away from the disturbance. Buried in the right corner by the concrete step, smashed under the gray river rock is the spare where I’d hoped it would be. I resist the urge to knock and crack open the door. The musty breath of the house bathes me once again as I step inside.
Gym
The main floor is lined with treadmills and scattered ellipticals and rowers, but most people work out on the lower level. The basement is larger than you can tell from the street, more than double the length of the floor above. A small track circles the perimeter and the rest of the room is divided into an area with weights and a regulation-size boxing ring. At the bottom of the stairs, there are three windowed classrooms with floor to ceiling mirrors in the back and punching bags and speed balls studded along the ceiling. This level is raw and stinks of sweat and testosterone. Carnal grunts and curses chirp out along with the sound of weights thudding on the matted floor. Kids aren’t allowed here and most women avoid it. The ones that don’t are tougher than most men, myself included.
Las Vegas Pool
The waterfall gurgles serenely but the main pool is padlocked and I don’t see any way to hop the fence. I continue weaving through the courtyard to see if there’s another pool or a hot tub they could’ve gone to. Pink and yellow lights dapple the landscaped courtyard and radiate a muted, tropical glow that’s undeniably artificial but pleasant anyway. I follow the winding trail around the garden as a faint chill prickles my skin and I pick up their voices a little farther down the path. I follow their laughter to a darkened lap pool in a forgotten corner where the lights are off but the chain has been fortuitously left unlocked. A sign bolted to the fence lists the pool hours that ended long ago, but I suspect it’s only there to prove amnesty without actual conviction. The gate squeaks open when I enter and they stop talking and turn to see who’s arrived.
New York Pitch Assignments - March 2022
in New York Write to Pitch 2023 and 2024
Posted
Story Statement
Tormented by a broken promise to his family, Danny Landon will do anything to escape his past.
Antagonist
Present: Lauren Cook is an alluring doctor with a quick-witted personality that Danny can’t help but feel attracted to, especially since she seems to accept the flaws he has kept so well-hidden from others. But Lauren has a secret of her own and will use any technique imaginable to capture Dannys attention. Her web of deception parallels that of Caroline Landon's.
Past: Caroline Landon is Danny's unreliable single mother. Young Danny finds their roles reversed as Caroline takes solace in the form of booze and men and he is forced to become her caregiver. When she crosses him in an ultimate betrayal, Danny cuts off ties but soon realizes that deceit may be hereditary.
Title
Before I Fell
Comps
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. (Nick and Amy seem to have it all, but when Amy goes missing, Nick's erratic behavior makes him the number one suspect in his wife's disappearance. Their image of the perfect couple is shattered and the truth becomes almost as unbelievable as the lie.)
Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. (Rachel jealously spies on perfect couple Scott and Megan on her daily train ride to work. When Megan goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Rachel begins her own investigation. But tumultuous flashbacks begin taking her down a dangerous path and soon not even Rachel knows who to trust.)
In the Woods by Tana French. (In the sprawling woods in Ireland, three kids run off to play but only one returns, covered in blood and amnestic of all events. Decades later, Detective Ryan still can't recall details of the day his friends went missing, but now another child is found dead in the same woods. He and his partner try to solve the case while he becomes increasingly entangled by his own haunted past.)
My novel is similar in its brooding tone and flawed-but-relatable main character, told in first person with dual timelines (Danny's childhood and present time as an adult) and multiple twists. Genre: Domestic Suspense, Coming-of-Age
Hook/Logline
Desperate to escape bitter childhood memories and a broken promise that he’s kept hidden from his adoring wife, Danny finds solace in a beguiling woman during their seemingly chance encounters. Soon he’s lost in a familiar web of deceit that threatens his perfect life.
Conflict
Core wound: Despite Danny’s bitter and lonely upbringing, he’s able to secure the affection of Maggie, a woman whom he loves wholeheartedly but believes is too good for him. He keeps his flaws hidden throughout their perfect marriage and makes a vow to never to abandon his family like he was as a child. When tragedy strikes, he's forced to break his promise and becomes tormented by this.
Secondary conflict: Enter Lauren, who seems to accept Danny for who he is, flaws and all, and distracts him from his pain and inadequacies.
Additional conflict: Danny has deep-seated feelings of insecurity, ignited by decades of abandonment, both physical and emotional. He experiences an undercurrent of sadness despite outwardly acting content. His poorly masked anxiety spirals whenever he feels things are out of control and it reaches a feverish pitch when Danny falls down the treacherous path of deception that parallels his childhood trauma.
Setting
New York office
The flawless marble lobby spans the length of an entire city block. A central steel wall tactfully conceals the bank of elevators on either side and my shoes make absurd squelching noises as I walk towards them. The building was renovated a decade ago to be sterile and imposing in an already outdated display of postural masculinity. A collection of black leather chairs cluster around a glass coffee table staged with unread books and waxy botanicals, their leaves peppered with half-moon nail marks from visitors doubting their authenticity. The faint fragrance of floor cleaner and polished metal gives off a tangy, coppery scent like the pennies you’d occasionally slip into your mouth as a kid. People joke that even the lobby smells like money, but I know it’s just trying to overcompensate for aging architecture and unreliable toilets.
Childhood home
The grass in front is overgrown. Thistles and nightshade and other toxic foliage sprout up to conceal half-hidden objects that my mother must not’ve had the energy to dispose of properly. The weeds have grown so high in some spots that they’ve toppled over, snapping themselves in half from the weight, self-destructing with greed.
I step out and walk to the front door as grasshoppers catapult away from the disturbance. Buried in the right corner by the concrete step, smashed under the gray river rock is the spare where I’d hoped it would be. I resist the urge to knock and crack open the door. The musty breath of the house bathes me once again as I step inside.
Gym
The main floor is lined with treadmills and scattered ellipticals and rowers, but most people work out on the lower level. The basement is larger than you can tell from the street, more than double the length of the floor above. A small track circles the perimeter and the rest of the room is divided into an area with weights and a regulation-size boxing ring. At the bottom of the stairs, there are three windowed classrooms with floor to ceiling mirrors in the back and punching bags and speed balls studded along the ceiling. This level is raw and stinks of sweat and testosterone. Carnal grunts and curses chirp out along with the sound of weights thudding on the matted floor. Kids aren’t allowed here and most women avoid it. The ones that don’t are tougher than most men, myself included.
Las Vegas Pool
The waterfall gurgles serenely but the main pool is padlocked and I don’t see any way to hop the fence. I continue weaving through the courtyard to see if there’s another pool or a hot tub they could’ve gone to. Pink and yellow lights dapple the landscaped courtyard and radiate a muted, tropical glow that’s undeniably artificial but pleasant anyway. I follow the winding trail around the garden as a faint chill prickles my skin and I pick up their voices a little farther down the path. I follow their laughter to a darkened lap pool in a forgotten corner where the lights are off but the chain has been fortuitously left unlocked. A sign bolted to the fence lists the pool hours that ended long ago, but I suspect it’s only there to prove amnesty without actual conviction. The gate squeaks open when I enter and they stop talking and turn to see who’s arrived.