New York Write to Pitch "First Pages" - 2022, 2023, 2024
A forum for New York pitch event alums to post samples of their scenes and prose narrative for detailed critique according to Algonkian Author Connect guidelines. Emphasis on choice of set, narrative cinema, quality of dialogue, metaphor, static and dynamic imagery, interior monologue, general clarity, tone, suspense devices, and routine line editing issues as well.
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The Inquisitor's Apprentice (Upmarket Historical Fiction WIP) CHAPTER ONE - Introduces antagonist, setting, tone and foreshadows the primary conflict The rider pulled back on the reins and brought the donkey to a halt. He straightened his back and moaned softly, releasing the pain and tension of two days and nights without cease on the back of the plodding beast. Although his stomach growled in protest, the priest would allow neither soft bed nor hard bread to tempt him into delaying his voyage here. His two retainers rode silently behind him, their black robes absorbing the brutal heat of the Cordovan summer. In the distance he saw the long, hea…
Last reply by DeanCycon, -
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SORIN Something about the sunrise in Elvenspear could make even the most worried person in the world feel like everything was right with it. And Sorin could hardly deny the view. The expanse yawned on, the capital city before him, with shimmering buildings where the sunrays danced on their glass windows, bathing the streets below in a shower of orange, red and gold. Sorin came up here sometimes as it was a place of refuge when nightmares sent him straight out of bed in a cold sweat. The same dream, over and over again. But by the time he was out of bed and walking, he couldn’t even remember the details. Only the fear that lingered, the anxiety that…
Last reply by Jack Weaver, -
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OPENING SCENE - Introduces protagonist, stakes, setting, and tone 1 BREAKUP Drip, drip was all I could hear in the bathroom, amidst the Ralph Lauren cologne, terry cloth navy bathrobe, and bath towels that needed to be washed. Shouldn’t I be more torn up, I thought. Shouldn’t I be crying? It was over. After three years, I no longer had a girlfriend. “We shouldn’t be together, Asher,” Blaire had said, tears in her eyes. “No, we shouldn’t be,” I said. The moment the words left my lips, I knew it was true. I looked out at the sun setting over the University of Arkansas campus, with its red-brick buildings and skeletal trees. There we…
Last reply by CFTurner, -
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My first three pages introduce the protagonist, a side character, a minion of the antagonist, and grounds in setting and place. You get the main plot and sympathy for the MC and SC, plus an intro to the emotional side plot. 1. Amalia and Clara drove to Sunday church service together that morning as they had for a year now. Amalia in a black linen dress with a lovely interlocking pattern of embroidered white flowers at the cuffs and bodice. Clara wore a gray sweater dress and a black crepe shrug. They both had on dark sunglasses, and not because they wanted to hide from anyone. The Nevada sun punished even the godly. They didn’t speak, parking and then walking to…
Last reply by Becky Bosshart, -
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Apocalypse That year, everyone believed in numerology. Our calendars were conveniently marked with the exact date of Armageddon: December 31st, 1999. It was a year of impending digital apocalypse. Even the disbelievers among us prayed that nothing would get lost in the translation of time to the strange new language of zeros and ones. All of us expecting our computers to detonate at the appointed hour like time bombs. The same year the South African son of a polygamous infidel passed his thorny crown even as it still dripped with the blood of Apartheid. It was a year of ancient land cracked…
Last reply by Tifffany, -
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Opening scene: introduces the protagonist and antagonist, establishes the setting, tone, and foreshadows primary conflict. Aren’t we a pair, Amber Ray? Mom and Dad must be so proud of their long-lost daughters. You, moldering in the grave, and, as for me, a murderous whore. Yes, I might as well be buried right next to you unless they come for me. Please come for me, I think, clasping my hands tightly as if I’m praying to Jesus Christ himself. Until then, I’ll wait, but not patiently, not in this nut house. So, I spin around in the swivel chair, clinging to my book of Edgar Allan Poe’s best works. Creeping in my head since I sat down is …
Last reply by SE Reynolds, -
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Introduces the protagonist, important secondary characters, and an indication of the plot. “You shouldn’t go. It’s not safe.” Daphne spoke over her shoulder as she stood expertly distant from a pan of spitting bacon, not a drop reaching her immaculate white-and-mauve flight attendant’s uniform. Alan had expected such a demand from his mother, ever since the dramatic news had broken the day before. He was ready with his answer. “No can do. The event’s mandatory for faculty. Brooksey’s rules.” Brooksey was his nickname for Brooks Cartwright, professor of history at Fullington University, and instigator of the “Past is Prologue” lecture series. The presenter …
Last reply by Keith Howells, -
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Opening Scene: Introduces protagonist, protagonist's wound, hidden magical world, and an important secondary character; plus ends with inciting incident. A burst of magic hung in limbo. No more than a bolt of spellbound energy, it had more in common with the wind than anything of substance; however, it vibrated with the urgency of a message needing to be delivered. Imbued with a tiny bit of magic, the missive was protected. Only the intended recipient could accept it. Yet, it still attracted attention. The wrong kind. The dark kind. Success required swift delivery. The magic hummed, zeroing in on the Veil’s opaque wall. It focused on on…
Last reply by Ann Kimbrough,