EditorAdmin Posted December 4, 2024 Posted December 4, 2024 Introduction to Pre-event Assignments The below seven assignments are vital to reaching an understanding of specific and critical core elements that go into the creation of a commercially viable genre novel or narrative non-fiction. Of course, there is more to it than this, as you will see, but here we have a good primer that assures we're literally all on the same page before the event begins. You may return here as many times as you need to edit your topic post (login and click "edit"). Pay special attention to antagonists, setting, conflict and core wound hooks. And btw, quiet novels do not sell. Keep that in mind and be aggressive with your work. Michael Neff Algonkian Conference Director ____________ After you've registered and logged in, create your reply to this topic (button top right). Please utilize only one reply for all of your responses so the forum topic will not become cluttered. Also, strongly suggest typing up your "reply" in a separate file then copying it over to your post before submitting. Not a good idea to lose what you've done! __________________________________________________________ THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT Before you begin to consider or rewrite your story premise, you must develop a simple "story statement." In other words, what's the mission of your protagonist? The goal? What must be done? What must this person create? Save? Restore? Accomplish? Defeat?... Defy the dictator of the city and her bury brother’s body (ANTIGONE)? Struggle for control over the asylum (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST)? Do whatever it takes to recover lost love (THE GREAT GATSBY)? Save the farm and live to tell the story (COLD MOUNTAIN)? Find the wizard and a way home to Kansas (WIZARD OF OZ)? Note that all of these are books with strong antagonists who drive the plot line (see also "Core Wounds and Conflict Lines" below). FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. ___________________________________________________ THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT (Photo : Javert from "Les Misérables") What are the odds of you having your manuscript published if the overall story and narrative fail to meet publisher demands for sufficient suspense, character concern, and conflict? Answer: none. You might therefore ask, what major factor makes for a quiet and dull manuscript brimming with insipid characters and a story that cascades from chapter to chapter with tens of thousands of words, all of them combining irresistibly to produce an audible thudding sound in the mind like a mallet hitting a side of cold beef? Answer: the unwillingness or inability of the writer to create a suitable antagonist who stirs and spices the plot hash. Let's make it clear what we're talking about. By "antagonist" we specifically refer to an actual fictional character, an embodiment of certain traits and motivations who plays a significant role in catalyzing and energizing plot line(s), or at bare minimum, in assisting to evolve the protagonist's character arc (and by default the story itself) by igniting complication(s) the protagonist, and possibly other characters, must face and solve (or fail to solve). CONTINUE READING ENTIRE ARTICLE AT NWOE THEN RETURN HERE. SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them. ___________________________________________________ CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE What is your breakout title? How important is a great title before you even become published? Very important! Quite often, agents and editors will get a feel for a work and even sense the marketing potential just from a title. A title has the ability to attract and condition the reader's attention. It can be magical or thud like a bag of wet chalk, so choose carefully. A poor title sends the clear message that what comes after will also be of poor quality. Go to Amazon.Com and research a good share of titles in your genre, come up with options, write them down and let them simmer for at least 24 hours. Consider character or place names, settings, or a "label" that describes a major character, like THE ENGLISH PATIENT or THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST. Consider also images, objects, or metaphors in the novel that might help create a title, or perhaps a quotation from another source (poetry, the Bible, etc.) that thematically represents your story. Or how about a title that summarizes the whole story: THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES, HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP, etc. Keep in mind that the difference between a mediocre title and a great title is the difference between THE DEAD GIRL'S SKELETON and THE LOVELY BONES, between TIME TO LOVE THAT CHOLERA and LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA between STRANGERS FROM WITHIN (Golding's original title) and LORD OF THE FLIES, between BEING LIGHT AND UNBEARABLE and THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING. THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed). ___________________________________________________ DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES Did you know that a high percentage of new novel writers don't fully understand their genre, much less comprehend comparables? When informing professionals about the nuances of your novel, whether by query letter or oral pitch, you must know your genre first, and provide smart comparables second. In other words, you need to transcend just a simple statement of genre (literary, mystery, thriller, romance, science fiction, etc.) by identifying and relating your novel more specifically to each publisher's or agent's area of expertise, and you accomplish this by wisely comparing your novel to contemporary published novels they will most likely recognize and appreciate--and it usually doesn't take more than two good comps to make your point. Agents and publishing house editors always want to know the comps. There is more than one reason for this. First, it helps them understand your readership, and thus how to position your work for the market. Secondly, it demonstrates up front that you are a professional who understands your contemporary market, not just the classics. Very important! And finally, it serves as a tool to enable them to pitch your novel to the decision-makers in the business. Most likely you will need to research your comps. If you're not sure how to begin, go to Amazon.Com, type in the title of a novel you believe very similar to yours, choose it, then scroll down the page to see Amazon's list of "Readers Also Bought This" and begin your search that way. Keep in mind that before you begin, you should know enough about your own novel to make the comparison in the first place! By the way, beware of using comparables by overly popular and classic authors. If you compare your work to classic authors like H.G. Wells and Gabriel Marquez in the same breath you will risk being declared insane. If you compare your work to huge contemporary authors like Nick Hornby or Jodi Picoult or Nora Ephron or Dan Brown or J.K. Rowling, and so forth, you will not be laughed at, but you will also not be taken seriously since thousands of others compare their work to the same writers. Best to use two rising stars in your genre. If you can't do this, use only one classic or popular author and combine with a rising star. Choose carefully! FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: - Read this NWOE article on comparables then return here. - Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why? ____________________________________________________ CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT Conflict, tension, complication, drama--all basically related, and all going a long way to keeping the reader's eyes fixated on your story. These days, serving up a big manuscript of quiet is a sure path to damnation. You need tension on the page at all times, and the best way to accomplish this is to create conflict and complications in the plot and narrative. Consider "conflict" divided into three parts, all of which you MUST have present in the novel. First part, the primary dramatic conflict which drives through the work from beginning to end, from first major plot point to final reversal, and finally resolving with an important climax. Next, secondary conflicts or complications that take various social forms - anything from a vigorous love subplot to family issues to turmoil with fellow characters. Finally, those various inner conflicts and core wounds all important characters must endure and resolve as the story moves forward. But now, back to the PRIMARY DRAMATIC CONFLICT. If you've taken care to consider your story description and your hook line, you should be able to identify your main conflict(s). Let's look at some basic information regarding the history of conflict in storytelling. Conflict was first described in ancient Greek literature as the agon, or central contest in tragedy. According to Aristotle, in order to hold the interest, the hero must have a single conflict. The agon, or act of conflict, involves the protagonist (the "first fighter" or "hero") and the antagonist corresponding to the villain (whatever form that takes). The outcome of the contest cannot be known in advance, and, according to later drama critics such as Plutarch, the hero's struggle should be ennobling. Is that always true these days? Not always, but let's move on. Even in contemporary, non-dramatic literature, critics have observed that the agon is the central unit of the plot. The easier it is for the protagonist to triumph, the less value there is in the drama. In internal and external conflict alike, the antagonist must act upon the protagonist and must seem at first to overmatch him or her. The above defines classic drama that creates conflict with real stakes. You see it everywhere, to one degree or another, from classic contemporary westerns like THE SAVAGE BREED to a time-tested novel as literary as THE GREAT GATSBY. And of course, you need to have conflict or complications in nonfiction also, in some form, or you have a story that is too quiet. For examples let's return to the story descriptions and create some HOOK LINES. Let's don't forget to consider the "core wound" of the protagonist. Please read this article at NWOE then return here. The Hand of Fatima by Ildefonso Falcones A young Moor torn between Islam and Christianity, scorned and tormented by both, struggles to bridge the two faiths by seeking common ground in the very nature of God. Summer's Sisters by Judy Blume After sharing a magical summer with a friend, a young woman must confront her friend's betrayal of her with the man she loved. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud As an apprentice mage seeks revenge on an elder magician who humiliated him, he unleashes a powerful Djinn who joins the mage to confront a danger that threatens their entire world. Note that it is fairly easy to ascertain the stakes in each case above: a young woman's love and friendship, the entire world, and harmony between opposed religions. If you cannot make the stakes clear, the odds are you don't have any. Also, is the core wound obvious or implied? FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication. ______________________________________________________ OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS As noted above, consider "conflict" divided into three parts, all of which you should ideally have present. First, the primary conflict which drives through the core of the work from beginning to end and which zeniths with an important climax (falling action and denouement to follow). Next, secondary conflicts or complications which can take various social forms (anything from a vigorous love subplot to family issues to turmoil with fellow characters). Finally, those inner conflicts the major characters must endure and resolve. You must note the inner personal conflicts elsewhere in this profile, but make certain to note any important interpersonal conflicts within this particular category." SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it? ______________________________________________________ THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING When considering your novel, whether taking place in a contemporary urban world or on a distant magical planet in Andromeda, you must first sketch the best overall setting and sub-settings for your story. Consider: the more unique and intriguing (or quirky) your setting, the more easily you're able to create energetic scenes, narrative, and overall story. A great setting maximizes opportunities for interesting characters, circumstances, and complications, and therefore makes your writing life so much easier. Imagination is truly your best friend when it comes to writing competitive fiction, and nothing provides a stronger foundation than a great setting. One of the best selling contemporary novels, THE HUNGER GAMES, is driven by the circumstances of the setting, and the characters are a product of that unique environment, the plot also. But even if you're not writing SF/F, the choice of setting is just as important, perhaps even more so. If you must place your upmarket story in a sleepy little town in Maine winter, then choose a setting within that town that maximizes opportunities for verve and conflict, for example, a bed and breakfast stocked to the ceiling with odd characters who combine to create comical, suspenseful, dangerous or difficult complications or subplot reversals that the bewildered and sympathetic protagonist must endure and resolve while he or she is perhaps engaged in a bigger plot line: restarting an old love affair, reuniting with a family member, starting a new business, etc. And don't forget that non-gratuitous sex goes a long way, especially for American readers. CONTINUE TO READ THIS ARTICLE THEN RETURN. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it. ________________________ Below are several links to part of an article or whole articles that we feel are the most valuable for memoir writers. We have reviewed these and agree 110%. MEMOIR WRITING - CHOOSE A SPECIFIC EVENT (good general primer) How to Write a Memoir That People Care About | NY Book Editors NYBOOKEDITORS.COM Are you thinking of writing a memoir but you're stuck? We've got the remedy. Check out our beginner's guide on writing an epic and engaging memoir. MEMOIR MUST INCLUDE TRANSCENDENCE Writing Memoir? Include Transcendence - Memoir coach and author Marion Roach MARIONROACH.COM MEMOIR REQUIRES TRANSCENDENCE. Something has to happen. Or shift. Someone has to change a little. Or grow. It’s the bare hack minimum of memoir. WRITE IT LIKE A NOVEL How to Write a Powerful Memoir in 5 Simple Steps JERRYJENKINS.COM When it comes to writing a memoir, there are 5 things you need to focus on. If you do, your powerful story will have the best chance of impacting others. MEMOIR ANECDOTES - HOW TO MAKE THEM SHINE How to Write an Anecdote That Makes Your Nonfiction Come Alive JERRYJENKINS.COM Knowing how to write an anecdote lets you utilize the power of story with your nonfiction and engage your reader from the first page. ________________________ Quote AC Admin
berenberg Posted December 11, 2024 Posted December 11, 2024 1. Write your story statement. Trick the gods to save the magic and the world. 2. In 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them. Dr. Javier Sanchez is a physicist from Los Alamos National Laboratory. Twenty-five years ago, he led an experiment that secretly was a method for him to gain supernatural powers. The experiment ended in an accident, killing several people. Now, Dr. Sanchez believes he has fixed the problems, but things again go wrong. Another accident displaces technology with magic within a 150 mile radius. The effect is unstable, though, and it will eventually destroy Northern New Mexico. Only a survivor of the original accident can stabilize the project, because of powers gained from the combination of the two accidents. Those survivors include Dr. Sanchez himself, and Violet, who was a student research assistant for the original experiment. The stabilization process, however, will kill whoever performs it. Dr. Sanchez tries to bring Violet back to Los Alamos. He works covertly, sending out various magical and non-magical proxies to retrieve Violet. Ultimately, he sets up a government operation that captures Violet and brings her to Los Alamos. He fakes his own death, adopts a disguise, and inserts himself into Violet’s team, all to make sure she succeeds in stabilizing the experiment. Dr. Sanchez’s true role is not revealed until the end. 3. Create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed). Violet: As one result of the inciting incident, the protagonist’s hair turns bright purple. She chooses the name Violet, in part as a way to embrace her transformed self, and in part to hide her identity from enemies she has made in the course of her career, now that the protections she has come to expect from society no longer exist. The Enchanted Zone: The region where magic has displaced technology is called the enchanted zone by its denizens. Land of Enchantment: The state nickname for New Mexico, with an obvious relationship to “the enchanted zone.” I prefer this for the series title, but it would also work as the title for the first book in the series. 4. Develop two smart comparables for your novel. Who compares to you? And why? The Wren in the Holly Library by K.A. Linde: Magic and monsters have entered the real world. The protagonist is a young woman who must learn how to use her newly-developed magical powers to protect and rescue the ones she loves. Other powerful forces want to use her for their own ends. The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown: Takes place in the modern world. Magical books, known only to a few, give the possessor a magical power, one power per book such as the ability to walk through any door in the world just by thinking about it. The protagonist stumbles upon the title book, putting herself and her friends in danger, but also giving her the power to fight against those who want to use the books for evil. 5. Write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound. A single mother must rescue her children from government conspirators after an incident in Los Alamos causes all technology more complex than a bicycle to stop functioning and brings the myths and folktales of Northern New Mexico to life. 6. Sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. Before the inciting incident (“the enchantment”), Violet was an attorney who sued predators – stalkers, guys who made deepfake videos, that kind of thing. The enchantment transformed Northern New Mexico, replacing physics with magic. It also physically transformed many of the people within the covered area (“the enchanted zone”). Post-enchantment, Violet now looks like a deepfake image the latest defendant had made of her. As she sees it, it’s like all the predators she ever went after got their revenge on her all at once. She worries that she is no longer the same person. Those worries are perhaps confirmed when she discovers that she has also gained magical powers, but those powers sometimes cause her to lose control of her emotions and her actions. For example, Violet ends up traveling with a man (Caleb) more than twenty years her junior. Violet sees he has a crush on her. Although she is flattered, and finds it cute, she is not interested. When Caleb breaks his arm, Violet uses her newfound powers to heal him. Powers she barely understands. As a side effect, Violet’s emotions become entangled with Caleb’s, and suddenly Caleb’s feelings become mutual. For the next several scenes, Violet struggles to separate her own emotions back out while also having to deal with the physical urges the entanglement has created. Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it? Early in the story, Violet encounters La Llorona, a ghost from Spanish folklore. According to legend, La Llorona caught her husband with his mistress, then drowned her children and herself in the Santa Fe River out of spite. Now she wanders the riverside, seeking her children . . . or those of others. When Violet comes across La Llorona, the ghost enters her mind and makes Violet think she has killed her own children. The memories fade after Violet wakes up, but they recur every time she sleeps, worse every time. The nightmares start to bleed over into the waking world, putting Violet’s real children in danger. Violet eventually finds La Llorona, and they have a final showdown. “This ends here,” says La Llorona. “Yes,” says Violet, “but I’m the one who ends it.” Violet turns the tables and enters La Llorona’s memories, but what she finds surprises her. Rather than fighting and destroying the ghost, as she expected to do, Violet releases her from a curse. This ties into the inner conflict by helping Violet see that her transformation was superficial. She ended up helping La Llorona, in the same way she helped her clients pre-enchantment. Underneath the new cover, Violet is the same person she has always been. 7. Sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? The story takes place in real-world settings of Northern New Mexico. In fact, the manuscript is divided into six parts, covering Violet’s journey from start to end. Those parts are: One: Santa Fe, primarily the historical Plaza area. Two: Pueblo Country, covering the Native American Pueblos along the I-25 corridor from Santa Fe to Albuquerque. Three: Albuquerque, including the foothills of the Sandia Mountains and the arroyo that runs from the foothills (where Violet’s home is located) down to the Rio Grande. Four: Rio Grande, covering various locations along the river, from Los Lunas south of Albuquerque to Bernalillo north of the city. Five: Jemez Mountains, the volcanic range that lies to the west between Albuquerque and Santa Fe. Six: Los Alamos, home to the National Laboratory and site of the story’s climax. These settings bring in details that both locals and visitors will recognize, and they also provide a variety of supernatural elements. For example, the story starts at the Santa Fe Plaza. Violet encounters her first supernatural creatures there, based on stories from the Spanish Inquisition in New Mexico. She finds temporary refuge in the historic cathedral at one end of the Plaza, but she is soon chased off because of the superstitious fears of other refugees. She is attacked by the ghost La Llorona along the Santa Fe River, which is a frequent location for many of the traditional La Llorona stories. She is then swept away in a river flood caused by a monsoon rain storm. (After I wrote that scene, I happened to get caught in a storm near the same location and took videos of the resulting flood.) As another example, Violet makes it to her home along Arroyo del Oso (Bear Canyon) in the Albuquerque foothills. She evades capture by an Army contingent with the help of the spirit bear that the arroyo is named after. The bear carries her along the arroyo on its way to the Rio Grande. When the arroyo is channeled through a tunnel under a business district, they are attacked by a monster Violet first ran into in Santa Fe. They make it through, then pass by the city’s Balloon Fiesta Park on the way to the Rio Grande. The bear leaves Violet at a sanctuary farm, which is situated in a real-life agricultural area. The farm is too close to the river, though, and Violet must flee when La Llorona shows up again. Quote
Emerson Ormond Posted December 19, 2024 Posted December 19, 2024 (I could not get the copied text to un-bold) Story Statement: A young girl must harness the war god’s power and lead her country’s dwindling army to victory. Antagonist Sketch: The Commander The Commander is the fearless leader of Carran’s military. He is unwilling to accept defeat or weakness in his army, even with the diminishing numbers of soldiers and surging attacks of the enemy. Together with the monarch, he is persistent on winning the war despite victory being so out of reach. The man is teeming with hubris, arrogance, and misogyny. Based out of the country’s singular surviving garrison, he trains his soldiers to follow his example and hold their own in battles with enemy numbers far surpassing their own. Fayre is everything he hopes to gain for his army and everything he despises. The Commander is hell-bent on victory and power, but unwilling to praise or recognize Fayre for her progeny or salvific powers. In his denial that a small peasant girl could be what his country needs for victory, he becomes his army’s worst enemy. He is callous toward her and others, and has little patience for her weakness. For the calculated, formidable man that he is, he makes rash decisions regarding Fayre which cost him dearly. Breakout Titles: An Army of Sword Lilies: Sword lilies have a symbolic meaning in the story. Shown to Fayre when she was a young girl by her Mari, she has always known them to represent the loss of an innocent life. Many characters come to be known as “sword lilies” as they pass in the trilogy, leading off with Merek, a young crippled boy who was killed in war. The Masked Progeny: Fayre is the descendant of Falak, the revered god of war. Yet, for both the Commander’s revulsion to a young girl being his country’s salvation, and the fear that if Fayre is discovered by enemy powers as the fulfillment of the prophecy to Carran’s victory, she is disguised as a male servant-at-arms, and made to wear the mask that all slaves do in her society, mirorring Vale, goddess of servitude. Genre and Comparables: Leigh Bardugo’s Shadow and Bone: Both novels immerse the reader into a world ravaged by war but filled with the hope of redemption by a girl who must learn to harness her powers to save her country. Sabaa Tahir’s An Ember in the Ashes: Both are set in fictional medieval worlds that bring readers into the hardships of war and slavery, begging the question: is victory and power worth the lives of those who suffer to obtain it? Core Wound and Primary Conflict: (Two options… undecided) Logline 1: In an attempt to protect her crippled friend from the horrors of the war front, a young girl is discovered to be the progeny of the war god, and must brave the world of men and war to lead her country’s dwindling army to victory. Logline 2: Discovered to be the progeny of the war god with the power to bring down armies, a young peasant girl is forced to brave the world of men and war and lead her country’s soldiers to victory. Two levels of conflict: INNER CONFLICT: Fayre battles herself, and the war god’s power growing inside her. While she desires strength and the capability to win the war so that she can return home and protect her family and Merek, she is horrified at the idea of bloodshed. With every opponent she strikes down, she feels a chasm growing between who she once was and the killer she is becoming. Fayre understands that the enemy soldiers she battles wanted no more part in this war than she. She agonizes over every attack, and the lives of innocents that will end by her hands. Hypothetical: Fayre is told by the Commander on an overseas journey to Aerilon borders that the only way to protect Terrin and her family back home from harm, she must fight and lead her army to victory, cutting down all in her path. As the boat surges onto Aerilon sands, she is in turmoil over every enemy she will have to kill, even though she knows Falak will give her the power to do so. She aims to “wound, not kill,” but her wish is futile in the chaos of the battlefield, and she starts to see herself as a cold-hearted murderer, believing her family back home would surely turn away from her after what she has become. SECONDARY CONFLICT: In order to prevent Terrin from discovering Fayre’s true sex, she must keep her distance from him even when her own heart–and his charm–betrays her. His goodness shines in stark contrast to the rest of her detachment’s cruelty, and his willingness to help her makes it difficult for her to push him away. Hypothetical: After a particularly brutal training session where Fayre took a number of beatings from fellow soldiers who disdain the slaves, Terrin insists on helping her to dress her wounds. During this moment, he discovers who she truly is without her mask, and is insist that he help her and get to know her more. Later that night, when Terrin approaches with his usual compassion, she feels she must push him away to prevent him from further harm if it were found out her secret had spread. He asks her for her true name and expresses his desire to aid her, and, although everything inside her urges against it, shows him unkindness and impatience to push him away. Setting Sketch: The story takes place in Carran, a fictional medieval country that has face severe devastation in the Great War, a war between three nations over borders which took place prior to the book’s starting point. War persists, between Carran and the enemy country of Aerilon, even as Carran is struggling to hold up their defenses. Due to the strain placed on Carran’s military, an enlistment was enacted forcing all males to begin training at the garrison at the age of six, and to fight as soldiers when they age until wartime ceases. Carran’s monarch is power hungry and unwilling to succumb to Aerilon’s power, however, so the hopes for the battle ending any time soon is futile. With all the men at war, the women are left in the villages to run businesses, carry out the agriculture and trade, and instruct the children. They worship a unique set of deities and (for the purposes of this story) the focus gods are Isolde, goddess of wisdom, Falak, god of war, and Vale, goddess of servtitude. Vale is depicted as a small girl who wears a cloth over the lower half of her face to represent her silence in submission. Any prisoner of war, convicted criminal, or disabled person is said to be “disowned” by the gods themselves and destined to live a life as a “Vale” slave, serving in silence and submission. Now that the country is in so much war debt, many male Vale slaves have gone to the frontlines to serve or fight there. Opening Scenes: Fayre’s village: Fayre lives in a peasant cotton-farming village. Although poor, the community gets along well and the women support each other. She lives with her Mari, an elderly woman who adopted several girls orphaned from the war, including Fayre. The women divide the work in the cotton fields, sewing tunics and preparing food as a monthly taxation to the war effort. The soldiers that come to collect the tax each month cruel and demanded, loathed by the community. “Night raiders” are only ever mentioned, but come to raid the villages and rape the women in order to keep population numbers rising with all the men at the war front. Merek’s Ravine: Merek’s ravine lays right outside the cotton village. In the warmer months, it is Merek’s (a crippled young boy whom Fayre is hiding away) home, where he hides away from the soldiers who raid the villages and come for taxation purposes. This is Fayre’s “home away from home.” It adds an element of excitement in her life, but also produces a lot of anxiety as she constantly wonders if the hiding spot will be discovered and Merek taken to live life as a slave or–gods forbid–a soldier. “Cormorant” Garrison: Nicknamed for its shape like the face of a cormorant bird jutting into the Ariat sea, the peninsula holds the army’s strongest–and sole–garrison. This is where all the boys disappear from the villages to for training, where the soldiers are housed and prepare for incoming attacks or are shipped out for an attack on Aerilon lines. The garrison is a buzz of energy and excitement entirely different from what Fayre is used to; teeming with males trained in the art of war, the society at the garrison glorifies killing and strength, even amid shrinking food rations, the improper ratio of armor and weaponry to men, and the fear of continued enemy attacks. Aerilon’s main city: The enemy city is walled in and heavily protected. Once inside, Terrin and his friends notice a stark difference between Aerilon’s cities and their own: men and women together, family units are whole, and there isn’t a draft ripping six-year-old boys from their mother’s arms. The war has still certainly caused devastation, with a draft requiring many males to serve in the war, but there is still the hope of a whole society within Aerilon’s city borders. Quote
Andrew Posted January 13 Posted January 13 FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. A father’s death forces his son to choose between good and evil. SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them. The reader is provided with competing narratives. First, after the death of his father Jacob Johnson developed a maniacal drive to provide for and protect his mother. That drive made his choice between morality and personal advancement complicated. In junior high Jacob was humiliated by the school bully, Mikey. After the beating, Jacob found sexually explicit information, that if exposed, would destroy Mikey’s tough guy reputation. Jacob struggled with whether or not to disclose the information. In college Jacob discovered his roommate assaulting a girl. The roommate, who was wealthy, told Jacob not to pursue the matter and if he did, he would implicate him. Jacob reluctantly agreed. Later, Jacob was to be named CEO of Carrington Enterprises. He was confronted by someone, from his past, who discovered Jacob had used deception and omission to attain success. Jacob’s choice was to give up the power he spent his life acquiring or return to the values he learned as a child. The second option, Bacchus, formerly enslaved, and murdered for escaping, it was said, visited young men without parents. His voice was accompanied by pain in the tongue during critical decisions. Jacob heard a voice and experienced pain during every critical decision. Create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed). The Death of Jacob Johnson: The day Jacob Johnson’s father died his life’s trajectory altered. The boy who learned his father died in church changed through being bullied in junior high school, the love he found in college, and his ascension to CEO of Carrington Enterprises. His death was not a natural one, but one of mind, body, and spirit. Dreams: Jacob is visited by his father shortly after his death and is told to only trust Deacon Rose. This is central to the book in that it opens the door to the supernatural. Jacob is also visited two additional times in his dreams to preview events to come. Metaphorically, most of the characters in the book have aspirational dreams. Jacob dreams of protecting and providing for his mother. Deacon Rose dreams of helping Jacob deal with this voice, Eleanor Barber dreams of one last adventure before she retires, and Katie, his mother, dreams of her son going to college and becoming a businessperson. Jacob’s Voice: After Jacob is bullied in junior high, he hears a voice that makes his tongue feel pain. This voice appears during crucial decision points in the novel. It is that same voice that encourages him to make decisions that while in his best interest conflict with what he knows is morally acceptable. Develop two smart comparables for your novel. Who compares to you? And why? Trust by Hernan Diaz: Both books deal with the essence of truth. Trust is concerned with the accuracy of perceptions, power, and who tells the story. The Death of Jacob Johnson is concerned with perceptions, power, and belief. Most characters believe in God but have trouble believing in a more sinister power at work in their lives. The narrative itself, like Trust, offers the reader options on what version of the truth is accurate. James by Percival Everett: In this layered novel dream sequences are used to advance the novel and reveal deeper truths about the character and the plot. Additionally, the novel moves at a fast pace creating a sense of suspense and danger. Write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound. A young boy’s father died shortly before his tenth birthday, in the aftermath, the boy propelled himself to a successful life which culminated in him becoming CEO of Carrington Enterprises, or is his ascension the result of Bacchus, a demon formerly enslaved who spoke to children without parents, who guided his steps, leaving everyone in his path homeless, hurt, or dead. Sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. Before the inciting incident, Jacob’s life was filled with the love of his parents and his church family. He was taught the biblical principles of morality and to choose good over evil. His father’s death altered this trajectory. Without a father, Jacob sought the comfort of father figures. His want to take care of and provide for his mother became the driving force of his life which complicated his decision-making ability. His major decisions had an added layer of complexity due to the sharp pain he felt in his tongue and a voice that encouraged him to make the wrong choices. Would he choose the decision that was morally, right? Or would he choose the decision that allowed him to attain higher status and higher advancement to meet his goals? For example, Jacob attended the prestigious Hilderbrant University. Graduating from Hilderbrant meant connections, a great career, and lifelong friendships as long as one was able to maintain those relationships. While there, Jacob attended the most exclusive fraternity party on campus. Jacob was invited as his girlfriend’s (Megan) plus one. His roommate Dan also attended. Later that night Jacob found Dan sexually assaulting a female attendee. Jacob physically restrained Dan and called the police. The cops instructed Jacob to leave. The next few scenes Jacob grappled with what he had seen. He decided not to tell his girlfriend, but instead, he would confront Dan. The next day Jacob told Dan to turn himself in. He expressed how disgusted he was with him and that if Dan didn’t turn himself in Jacob would do it for him. Dan realized Jacob was serious and offered him a choice. First, to forget what he saw. His second choice was more of a threat. Dan insinuated that because Jacob was black it would be more believable that he assaulted the girl. He informed Jacob of his parent’s wealth, resources, and deep relationships with the campus police. Jacob, who had devoted much of his early life to position himself so that he could attend a college like Hilderbrant felt pain in his tongue and heard a voice as he weighed the pros and cons. Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it? Ricky Johnson, Jacob’s father, visited him in a dream the night of his death. He told Jacob to only trust Deacon Rose because something was coming after him. Jacob told this to Deacon Rose, who at first had a hard time believing that he could be of help, but as time progressed Deacon Rose believed he could be of use. Jacob explained to Deacon Rose that he heard a voice, and his tongue hurt during certain situations. Deacon Rose told the boy to pray, but he also went to the library to research ghost narratives. While there, he interacted with an old friend Eleanor Barber, who is also a friend of the Johnson family. She informed him that Franklin Roosevelt’s administration led a project to memorialize the ghost narratives of all living formerly enslaved people. Eleanor sent for all of the volumes for Bobby to read through. During his research, he found the name Bacchus, an enslaved person who was murdered for trying to escape with his daughter. The text stated “Reports reveal their tongues would turn black-during the episodes. Interviewees stated the only way to rid oneself of the presence was to—”, someone had deliberately removed the page from the book. Eleanor Barber stated, “It looks like the volume has been tampered with.” Bobby, a World War II veteran, who walked with a wobble and lost an eye during the war became determined to find out what happened. He needed to determine what the missing page said so that he could fulfill what Ricky Johnson told Jacob in the dream. Deacon Rose wanted to protect Jacob from whatever or whoever it was talking to him. Sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? The book is divided into three acts and each act has a distinctive setting. Act I took place in Charlotte, NC from the years 1986-1994. The set pieces include Trinity Resurrection Baptist Church where Jacob learns of his father’s passing, the Johnson home, where friends and family congregate, and Englehart Junior High School where Mikey, the school bully intimidates Jacob. One of the key settings is Deacon Rose’s front yard. This is where he teaches Jacob how to play chess, where Jacob reveals that he hears a voice, and where Deacon Rose decides that he will help him. The final set piece is a small library off of Beattis Ford Rd where Deacon Rose and Eleanor Barber do their research. Act II was more expansive as the setting of Hilderbrant University came into focus. Jacob spent time at his girlfriend Megan’s apartment and then at a fraternity house he was warned in a dream not to attend. The setting then shifts briefly from Charlotte to Cape Cod as Jacob and Megan introduce each other to their families. While in Charlotte Jacob is confronted by Mikey, who bullied him during junior high. A mysterious place called The Fortress is introduced where Mr. Carrington, head of Carrington Enterprises, is a member of a secretive organization. Jacob and Megan move to Charlotte so he can take a job at Carrington Enterprises. They have an apartment together that is a place of love until Jacob’s drive for success in the name of taking care of his mother is too much for Megan to take. Act III took place where the story began, in Charlotte, NC. The story has narrowed. This time Jacob’s perspective of the city is different. Deacon Rose has died, and Jacob has purchased a lavish home on Lake Norman. The library Elanor Barber once loved now was a shell of itself. She decided to retire and at that retirement party, she received a call that set her off for one last adventure. Back at Jacob’s lakeside home, he built a guest house for his mother to live in. He outfitted the room in her favorite color, pink, and had so many roses sent to the house that it was scented with citrus and mint. Embedded in each act is a dream sequence. Jacob was visited three times. The setting of the dreams took on aspects of the real world which frightened Jacob. For instance, in his first dream, the setting foreshadowed a home Deacon Rose visited where he learned about the spirit Bacchus. Each set piece showed Jacob’s transformation. His world narrowed as his stature increased. As a young man, he was surrounded by loved ones and an older mentor. In college he created a network of friends and found love, but as his thirst for power and success increased his world narrowed. By the time he bought the lake home Megan was gone. He had no friends. His only mentor was Mr. Carrington who does not seem to have his best interests at heart. Quote
Ralph Walker Posted January 19 Posted January 19 FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. A THIN LINE OF SMOKE – Story Statement A young architect must complete the design and construction of the most important building in his young career in the face of unfettered corruption. After a fire breaks out in the almost completed building killing the only female construction worker on the site the local fire chief and arson investigator must determine if the fire was arson and how the woman died. SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them. Frank Krunka is the alpha male at the center of this story who embodies and embraces the corruption, misogamy and greed. A self-made man, reformed cokehead, and hard knuckled contractor, Frank rules heavy construction in Nassau and Suffolk Counties with the intensity of a silver backed gorilla. You’ll never see him without his golden hardhat pendant banging against his well-tanned open collar, and you’ll never catch him doing anything illegal – he has guys for that. Frank keeps the wheels of corruption turning through influence, money or having a few skulls cracked. His pool parties are a venerable who’s who of local politicians, money men, contracting royalty and their arm candy. He uses his box seats at Yankee Stadium for patronage. In his fifties, Frank’s history of addiction, ex-wives, and shady decisions sit heavy on his shoulders. He isn’t ashamed to share advice with Georgie. He likes the new kid. In fact, he wouldn’t be upset if Georgie and his only daughter Hampton got hooked up. He always wanted a son. George must partner with Frank to complete the project, but as Frank becomes a surrogate father, George’s morality erodes, and he is drawn deeper into the ugly side of power. THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed). A THIN LINE OF SMOKE The Corruption of George Sumner FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why? Genre: Upmarket Mystery A THIN LINE OF SMOKE is a character centered story held together by a tragic event like Richard Price’s LAZURUS MAN. Told through the eyes of an untrustworthy narrator in a closed misogynistic environment similar to Rosemary Hennigan’s THE FAVORITES this novel deals with the corruption of a morally grey characters set in the same era and milieu as the SOPRANOS but on Long Island instead of New Jersey. FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication. Primary POV hook line (George’s POV) Thrust into the opportunity of a lifetime by the suicide of his mentor, a young architect must choose between a corrupted path to complete his greatest project or a moral path that may burn it all to the ground. Secondary POV hook line (Chief Edward’s POV) After a major fire breaks out in a newly constructed building, a fire chief embedded in the community investigates the cause of the inferno and death of a female construction worker. Under pressure from all sides the Chief is faced with confirming easy answers to maintain the status quo, or blowing open a case that will risk spotlighting systemic corruption across local government exposing mistakes by him. SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. Next, likewise sketch a hypothetical scenario for the "secondary conflict" involving the social environment. Will this involve family? Friends? Associates? What is the nature of it? Secondary Conflicts George POV In the summer of 1998, young George Sumner was laden with tragedy. His father died unexpectedly from a massive heart attack, and his unyielding mentor committed suicide. Now as both the breadwinner for his family, and the torchbearer of the firm’s design George is weighed down with new responsibilities and expectations. Thrust into the world of major construction George is out of his depth both in the board room where millions are negotiated, and on the job site where mistakes cost money, fingers and lives. Paddling as fast as he can, George’s moral compass is spinning, and he is looking for a father figure to point the way. The most dominant male in his orbit is Frank Krunka, corrupt construction manager. George knows enough to be wary but is quickly drawn in to the earthly charms of quick cash, political stature and loose women. As the questions pile up, George faces his moral upbringing and must choose between his affinity for this new father figure in his life and what he knows to be right. As an outsider on the jobsite George searches for allies. After a rough start he connects with Maria Lisa, the only female on the construction site. As the crane operator and crew leader of the ironworkers on site she commands a hefty level of respect, but once she is out of her cab, she’s just another chick and the slurs, catcalls and lurid advances are relentless. Maria Lisa is also a union sympathizer, trying to work her way back into the unions after a sexual harassment claim was swept under the rug, she has a fraught relationship with the organizations that should protect her and her livelihood. Getting a spot on a Krunka jobsite was a boon for her, and her inside information about the physical construction is a chit she can trade to work her way back into the good graces of union bosses. George and Maria Lisa embark on an odd relationship, watching each other’s back on the job site, trading secrets and giving the boys a show to improve George’s manhood credentials, and get the tongue wagers off Maria Lisa’s back. As one thing leads to another the lines get blurred and George is never sure if he is being protected, used or worse. George has a healthy dose of distrust for both Frank and Maria Lisa, but an affinity towards both. As he gets deeper in each relationship the tension between conflicting loyalties knot him up. Without a father figure, or mentor to help him find his way George must become his own man. Chief Edwards POV Chief Edwards has been a stalwart of his community for three decades. Starting out in the volunteer fire department and rising up the ranks while also working as the local building inspector he’s always had a unique view on the local government. In more recent years after being certified as an arson investigator the Chief has worn many hats, but never all at once on the same building. Chief Edwards was the building inspector for North Shore Displays and was ready to sign off on its Certificate of Occupancy the week before the fire. When he got the call about the fire, he expected something minor, but this fire became a four alarm blaze that brought in departments from all over the county. Once extinguished a body was found, requiring a deeper investigation, he was tapped to complete the arson portion of the investigation. Wearing each hat – building inspector, fire chief, and arson investigator – there is an inherent conflict of interest, but he is a trusted member of the community, and the sheriff and township administrator have his back. Still, Chief Edwards is torn. He can’t avoid the fact that he looked the other way during some of his inspections, and the questions only pile up from there. The Chief needs to protect his community and himself. While his morality dictates that the truth should be unearthed from the ashes there is enough doubt and pressure to take the easy way out, lest the man in the mirror live up to his own moral code. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it. A Thin Line of Smoke centers on a single building, North Shore Displays, as both setting and in some ways character. The building is a new corporate headquarters and factory that is being constructed in Melville Long Island in the 1998. We see the project from the time that the site is an open field, through the full construction, and the subsequent fire that consumes it. We also see the project through the eyes of George and Melvin (George’s mentor) as they work together to sketch out the design and dream about their aspirations for the building. Seeing this transformation from sketch through construction we feel the work. The book lingers in the grit and sweat of the effort it takes to complete a project of this magnitude. Long Island in the late nineties was also a place where the rules related to heavy construction were fluid. Labor unions had a strong hold on some trades (masons, electricians & iron workers), but the Island was more of a free for all with open conflicts between union and non-union on many construction sites. Sabotage and dirty tricks were commonplace. Construction sites were lawless places. It was also a time of pride in New York, and the tribal affiliations to teams (Go Yankees!), neighborhoods and backgrounds have a heavy influence on social interactions both on the job site, and beyond. The alternate universe of the story is George’s home in New Jersey. His life in what seems to be an idyllic suburb in many ways is dull in comparison to the hard scrabble, conflict laden buzz of the construction site with its constant movement, noise, friction and conflict. His life at home is centered on his newly widowed mother, her church community and George’s responsibilities towards both. As George crosses between New Jersey and Long Island we see the code switching he embraces, trying to fit into each environment. At note: The building for North Shore Displays is based upon a real building I designed early in my architecture career but enhanced for dramatic effect. Most other settings including the original Yankee Stadium, Cross Bronx Expressway, and even the offices of Cohen and Goldsmith are based on my memories of the real places, but the homes of George, Frank and the Chief are fictional. Quote
Mike Perez Posted January 21 Posted January 21 Story statement: Ethan Wallin, civil rights attorney, has to end racism in his lifetime to save his own soul. No big deal. Primary Antagonist: Ethan’s antagonist is conventional thinking embodied by several characters - his boss, his colleagues, and his community. Despite being on his side, they resist his unconventional ideas and question his motivations. They’ve been doing this work longer, they’ve seen how it plays out, and they are the true believers in progressive values. It’s hard to tell if they represent sticks in the mud or the voices of reason, in light of Ethan’s fanaticism. They react to Ethan’s actions by putting up barriers, getting him fired, and ultimately threatening his license to practice law. Working Titles: I Think That Song is About me The Ally Comparables: I Think That Song is About me mixes the benevolent satire of Less by Andrew Sean Greer with the critical social perspective of R.F. Kuang’s Yellowface. Hook: A white civil rights lawyer, after stretching himself to the limit only to fail at helping the cause, decides he will atone for the sins of his racist ancestors by walking into downtown Boston wearing a homemade t-shirt that says “I’m racist.” Inner Conflict: Ethan’s inner conflict is about the value of his own life. He feels like nothing he does is earned because he’s a privileged white male, and if he’s not earning his keep what good is he. He still strives and pushes, but he doubts any of it will do any good, that it’s truly worth anything. He won’t feel worthy of love unless he can prove to himself and to the rest of the world he, alone, did something truly extraordinary. Hypothetical: Ethan comes home on a cold evening in late February, not long after the first anniversary of his job at a corporate firm. Ethan’s wife, Rachel, has a friend over, Robyn, who works at a nonprofit organization. They’re having a glass of wine in the living room, while Ethan is doing the dishes in the other room. Ethan hears Rachel mention to Robyn that Ethan’s w2 shows he earned more this past year than either of them earned combined in prior years. He hears Robyn say wow. Ethan stops washing dishes and enters the living room. Robyn asks how his new job is going. He asks Robyn if he’s told her yet about the pro bono case he’s working on, working hard to humble brag about how much time he spends on it. Later Ethan chides Rachel for embarrassing him in front of Robyn. Robyn is annoyed because she meant to be complimenting him. They descend in a fight about whether Rachel pushed Ethan into taking this job at the corporate firm. They wake up the baby. Ethan goes down to change her using the organize compostable diapers they can only afford because of his new job. Setting: Boston provides the cultural setting for Ethan’s external and inner conflicts to play out. It’s a city with deep-seeded racism but a facade of dominant progressive culture. There are plenty of leftist fundamentalists with whom Ethan works, in the media, and in his friend circles to act as comic and dramatic foils. Ethan interacts with the historic public spaces in Boston, that provide context for his sense of civic purpose. The transitions from suburbs to city also provides a setting for the work he and his colleagues do. Ethan lives in a comfortable suburban home outside of Boston in a gentrifying neighborhood that emphasizes his privilege and his guilt about it. Quote
Jenny Froehle Posted January 22 Posted January 22 UNDER THE SHADOWS Story Statement: A young mother committed by her husband to a mental asylum must survive her confinement and convince her doctors and herself that she is sane—or sane enough—to return to the children she loves. Quote
Jessica Fauchier Posted January 24 Posted January 24 Writer’s Conference Prompt STORY STATEMENT Life truly begins when women discover that aging is a gift to be unwrapped and not a battle to be fought. Women are especially susceptible to myths that make aging something to be feared. In order to live a triumphant life we need to reframe how we approach aging and open our eyes up to the fact our best days can always be ahead of us. As these triumphant stories of women illustrate, with each passing decade women can redefine their identities and blossom into their most authentic self. ANTAGONIST Our antagonist is crippling self doubt. The antagonist is inside all of us. Relying on old definitions of who we should be and how we should feel. We all face our own unique battle against the antagonist we have breathed life into with the oxygen of complacency. We alone can give this self doubt lines and colors and shape and bring it to the forefront of our mind in order to be overcome. One woman’s antagonist may be the doubt she feels about being seen in a world she believes only values youth. Another woman may have to battle her crippling self doubt about ever finding joy and energy after decades of fitting her free spirit into a picket fence lined construct. A construct she built only to find it strangling her individuality. BREAK OUT TITLE Time of Rebirth: The Joy of Aging The Lies They All Told You: An Aging Story The Invisibility Myth COMPARABLES “Radiant Rebellion” by Karen Walrond: Walrond uses deep dives into conversations with social workers, neurologists, activists and clergy to uncover why the dominant culture treats aging like a time of diminished capacity. We also confront the myths about aging perpetrated by our current culture. Our book, however, aims to be more anecdotal and approachable with other aging women’s experiences and stories leading into discussions about the aspects of growing older that bring more joy and freedom. Where Walrond takes the readers on her journey of rebelling against these societal constructs (she lets her hair go grey; goes on a silent retreat; changes her health practices) we discuss what the women Nextdoor are experiencing. Our readers will find themselves in our interviews and anecdotes spread throughout the book. They will feel seen and empowered. Like Walrond, our basic premise is that we can write a different story of aging than the one that is often handed to us. It is not a story of decline but rather a story of reinvention and rebirth. “Successful Aging for Women over 50” by Janine Hunka is similar to our book in the concept of aging as a transformation into who you were always meant to be. Hunka reveals the fears many women have about aging along with the misguided idea that aging is a time of decline. After identifying this common emotion among aging women, Hunka offers the idea that aging is not a battle against time but rather a battle against oneself. This is also our premise; that to live your best life as you age it is important to first understand who you are and how you want the world to see you. Like our book, Hunka’s book focuses on a necessary perspective shift in order to live free and boldly. Our book takes this a step further by diving into practical solutions to help you with this perspective shift along with providing entertaining anecdotes about women who have faced what they saw as challenges of aging. Our central premise for aging well is a pursuit of joy in all things; this book also looks at the emotional work that allows a woman to thrive and age well. HIGH CONCEPT HOOK LINE In a world that worships youth, women can and must embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery. This journey is illustrated through the retelling of many women’s stories of triumph and challenge. Readers will discover the real power of femininity as we age is not in reclaiming the past, but in embracing the freedom and confidence that comes from finally being unapologetically themselves. CONFLICTS Inner Conflict for Protagonist: Although varied from woman to woman, a central inner conflict connecting many women’s stories is a feeling of being invisible. One example is a woman who feels aging has made her shrink at work and become overlooked and ignored by her coworkers. Her self-discovery reveals that she felt invisible because she no longer knew herself, not because others wanted her diminished. Secondary Conflict- Social Environment: Every woman as they age eventually confronts the forces that defined them in youth. Were they pegged as a bookworm, the popular golden girl, the people pleaser, the peace-maker, the glib one, the funny one, the girl who never says no? What social forces of their youth in the form of family, school, their community and mass media sought to define them and thus extinguishing parts of them that did not fit? It is up to mature women to confront these old definitions and strip off what no longer fits to reveal their true selves. This will allow them to thrive in the authenticity and freedom of being exactly who they were born to be. SETTING Our book includes a wide variety of settings as we tell different stories of real women on a journey of self discovery as they are confronted an older self they no longer recognize. Some examples of settings as we interview these women to record their journeys: The School Drop Off: Sleepy kids readjust their faces before exiting their parent’s car and run to join friends. Cracked sidewalk almost trips up a woman in Uggs with her long hair pulled back and a defeated expression drooping her spirit like the scarf hanging down her sweater. Another woman in full make-up, bouncing curls and aviator glasses unnecessary in the 8am sun moves from group to group desperate to feel the connection she will miss as soon as she heads home to the empty house. The school my kids attend, and where I am meeting Charlotte to chat, is in the rural part of central California. The kind of school where you can pass a mom discussing techniques for compassionate Rooster beheading, another discussing vaccines, and continue on further to pass the rare Dad chatting about running shoes and church. The school is a charter school and leases space with a church that hold services on Sundays when kids are not roaming. I am meeting Charlotte at a wood picnic table near the worn in playground equipment just beyond the pavement that serves as the recess spot for the small student body. When I reach her, she waves away my offer of coffee claiming she heard it can increase blood pressure. I look for an out of the way spot to set it down so it doesn’t become the centerpiece of my unsuccessful attempt at camaraderie. I feel admiration and a niggle of deflation that she so breezily declined the drink I proffered. I grew up in a home of people who would accept a cup of bear urine if offered and take a few polite sips. University Campus: I meet up with Vanessa where she works. She has an hour for lunch and was intrigued by my description of a book about aging well and the challenges women face. It feels perfect that the backdrop for our conversation is a college campus: teeming with vibrancy and the shimmer of promise. Groups of kids move past me with backpacks and sunglasses and overdone laughter about something secret between them. They wear the uniform of the young: cropped baggy sweatshirts, low slung baggy jeans, converse sneakers, shiny lipgloss and the popular no makeup make up look. It seems as though every single person has long hair parted in the middle that shines so bright it matches the glow of the sun touched metal on the performance art building I am parked in front of. I subconsciously touch my short curled hair parted at the side. It is an automatic reaction even though I don’t pine to look young let alone be young again. Those years were filled with fun but also so much uncertainty and self consciousness. I mentally give my shy young uncertain self of two decades ago a hug and pay the parking meter. The grass is perfectly trimmed and so green and pristine all over. The beautiful trees and well maintained campus a byproduct of astronomical tuition fees. Coastal Retreat: I was so looking forward to talking with Annabelle about aging and vibrancy and the metamorphosis women must make to connect with their authentic self as they age. She wears just a touch of make-up and the bright sun shines off her long hair. Just as long and shimmery as it was when we went to high school together over 25 years ago. The girl I remember from our youth- long legs, killer swing in volleyball, shoulders back confidence and strong beauty- seems to have spent the past decades becoming even more of a presence. She joins me in staring out over the water serving as the backdrop for our chat in the cafe high up on a cliff on the California Coast. The air is a bit cold with moisture from the ocean spray and I wonder how she keeps her hair so glossy and smooth in this setting. My hair responds to the coast by shriveling up in dank clumps against my scalp. That is Annabelle though, vibrant and glossy and shimmering in a way only possible when the spirit has been fed and nurtured. Quote
Margie B Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Hi Everybody, I'm looking forward to meeting you all at the conference and hearing more about your stories. Here are my responses to the 7 assignments... so far. (1) STORY STATEMENT Must defy her domineering mother and controlling husband to take charge of her life and find true love. (2) THE ANTAGONISTS There are two antagonists who sometimes act in concert. Rosemary—protagonist Gwen’s mother—has always treated her adult daughter like a child. Her natural tendency to over-protect her only got worse following the terror she experienced on the day three-year-old Gwen slipped out of the house and was nearly run over by a car. Rosemary aligns herself with Anthony, Gwen’s husband, sensing that he will also exercise control over Gwen and keep her safe from the dangers of the world. She wears blinders when it comes to Anthony’s methods of control. He’s a covert narcissist who manipulates Gwen with passive aggression and gaslighting, alternating with love-bombing. To keep her dependent on him, he undermines her intelligence, abilities, and desires, much as Nurse Ratchet did to her patients. Anthony lacks self-worth and fears that Gwen would neglect or leave him if left to her own devices. (3) BREAKOUT TITLE My title ideas are inspired by this Shakespeare quote from Twelfth Night, which I first heard as the last line spoken by Will Shakespeare in Shakespeare in Love (one of my favorite love stories): “My story starts at sea... a perilous voyage to an unknown land... a shipwreck... The wild waters roar and heave... The brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned... all save one... a lady... whose soul is greater than the ocean... and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace... Not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore. It will be a love story... for she will be my heroine for all time. And her name will be... Viola.” I see Viola’s story as an apt metaphor for my heroine’s. She is the survivor of a shipwreck (her marriage), a woman of strong spirit and soul, who begins a new life—a love story—in a distant land (she moves from California to Massachusetts). I began with “A Perilous Journey to an Unknown Future” for my title, paraphrasing the quote. But now I see other phrases that I prefer for possible titles: “It Will Be a Love Story” or “A Heroine for All Time” A Shakespeare quote could be appealing to a book club audience, and fun for those who recognize the source of the quote. I’d like to include the quote at the beginning of the novel. Moreover, I have a storm at sea occurring at the climax of the novel, a fitting callback to the source of the title. I love It Will Be a Love Story and A Heroine for All Time because they feel universal. One of the themes of the story is that exciting, head-over-heels new love can happen to anyone at any time of life; it isn’t just restricted to youth. (4) SMART COMPARABLES FOR YOUR NOVEL Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout. As Oprah says: “This novel has everything—romance, mystery, and secrets.” It also depicts older characters who are fully-rounded, contradictory human beings. It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover. Although her books are categorized as romance, she deals with challenging topics like domestic abuse. Her characters are well-rounded with emotional depth. Her appeal is broader than just romance readers. She’s known for her cliffhangers that keep readers hooked. My book has similar qualities, with older characters. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. Although the love story is between two young people, I see similarities in tone and theme between my book and this one. There’s humor in it, along with tragedy. A deep love story. Also, because it takes place in the 1940s/1950s, it has the feel of that era, which naturally would appeal to older readers from that time. Lastly, the book is very much about female empowerment, as is mine. How my novel is different: There are novels about older couples, usually widows or widowers, who reunite with someone they loved in their youth. But I was unable to find a novel about people who divorced in the latter part of their lives and found love with someone new (through online dating in the case of my story) as opposed to rediscovering a former love. I believe my story reflects what is happening to many 50+ people right now (or to their friends), and therefore there could be strong interest in the topic among readers. “The divorce rate is growing fastest among adults 65 and older.” (5) WRITE YOUR LOGLINE WITH PRIMARY CONFLICT AND CORE WOUND After her domineering mother dies, Gwen (63) returns to the family home in coastal Massachusetts, where she learns a buried secret that throws her marriage into turmoil and launches her on a stormy path to new love. (6) INNER CONFLICT AND SECONDARY CONFLICT Gwen is conflicted because she’s been manipulated all her life, both by her mother and Anthony. After so long, it’s a struggle to grasp what’s real and what they have wanted her to believe. It takes new knowledge of how they have each betrayed her to trigger her into action. Her immediate reaction is a desire for revenge, but ultimately her true nature prevails and she seeks only freedom and a happy life for herself. The secondary conflict comes from her mother, Rosemary, the original cause of Gwen’s low self-esteem. Mom continues to exert influence over her from beyond the grave, as Gwen carries on conversations with the armchair where Mom always sat. When the nor-easter comes, Gwen tries to save the chair, but as the sea carries it away, she impulsively tosses the urn that holds Mom’s ashes onto it and both sink under the water. This action finally frees her from Mom’s control and allows her to move forward with her new life. (7) SETTING The main setting is an old house on the coast in Scituate MA, built on stilts to keep it above the waves at high tide. The shifting moods of the ocean add depth to the story and allow for an exhilarating climax, when Gwen has to retrieve what she can from the family home before it’s (possibly) destroyed by a nor’easter in the dead of winter. Quote
Tucker Bomar Posted January 29 Posted January 29 Story Statement: A North Carolina woman is thrown into a blackmail scheme that threatens her small town and her life. Antagonist Sketch: Mrs. Silvia Parson has a tone that stiffens the spine and shivers the soul. Described by her husband as a witch with a capital B, there is nothing magical about the woman. Born to the frigid Ohio winters, Silvia has hidden the scars of her childhood beneath a layer of expensive makeup. At 68 years old, Silvia and her husband John have created a name for themselves. The power couple purchased a beautiful waterfront home in the coastal town of Beaufort, a quiet getaway from their private D.C. firm. Their dinner parties have become famous, and the invites are coveted among the residents who line the pavement of Front Street. Secrets are gathered, filed away, and cataloged. The residents are blissfully unaware until their follies are laid bare and eyes grow eyes. Silvia has been plotting this moment for years. So, when her husband John shows up dead, she must change course. If there’s anything Silvia likes less than dead husbands, it’s the inconvenience of changed plans. Silvia is as profane as she is polished, as cruel as she is calculated, and as cold as the winters that hardened her heart. Breakout Title: Clean 2 Comparables: Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: This novel gives a sense of dread that permeates the novel and its intricate plot lines. Historical accuracy also offers readers an appreciation of the writer's thoroughness. I Am Watching You: This novel is similar in that the different viewpoints keep the readers guessing who is lying. Hook, line, and sinker: Blood is in the waters of Beaufort, the capitalist sharks are circling. Darla must fight against the current of hate, blackmail, and the justice department as she saves her town, her friends, and her life. Internal conflict: Darla is well acquainted with rock bottom; her mundane life scrapes along at a snail's pace with the occasional high side of alcoholic blackouts. She longs for adventure, excitement, and money, a life beyond the walls of her mobile home. She is left to grapple with the fallout when her wish is granted. As the world throws her lemons like a 98 mph fastball, she is forced to answer some uncomfortable questions. Am I a bad friend? Am I as selfish as my brother? Am I the girl that will never make it out of the trailer park? Will I make it out alive? Hypothetical: Darla goes to great lengths to uncover the bad actors pulling her town's strings. From the window of her mobile home, she watches money and beachfront property being traded like playing cards. She just can’t afford to join the game. Darla is offered a deal to join the ranks of piranhas that feed on the accounts and securities of others. Darla realizes that she is human and that we all are tempted to take the path of least resistance. What will she do? Darla is the unsupervised child in the candy store, aware of the future stomach pains just enough for her hand to waiver above the brightly colored jars. She is presented with riches she can only imagine, but at what cost? Her morality is as murky as the brackish waters she grew up on. She loves her brother but hates the burden of being his caretaker. She is a friend but also a burden. She wants more, but is she ready? Setting Sketch: Honestly, if you want to hear how the setting will make you feel, go search on Spotify for “Threads of Fate” by Secession Studios/Greg Dombrowski. Imagine lying on a beach, thunder rumbles in the distance, the sky darkens, rain speckles your face, and you turn to the sound of a motor. Screaming around the dune is Darla in a fishing boat, pursued by gunmen, straight into the eye of a storm. The story takes place in the once-quiet coastal town of Beaufort, North Carolina. This is not the romanticized Nicholas Sparks, seagulls in the breeze, Beaufort that you might have heard of. This is the fish-smelling, boat horn chorus of a rotting town, with a bit of racial tension. The plot lines weave between that of Darla (Protagonist), Silvia (Antagonist), and a band of disabled Vietnam War veterans turned career criminals. Each perspective has the unique advantage of inner thoughts and the breath in which that character inhales the world around them. Some are sweet, some make you want to gargle mouthwash, and some are so kindhearted that you might weep. The physical setting has been thoroughly researched and has many coastal trappings specific to the Carolinas, wild horses, menhaden, seagull droppings, and hurricanes. The setting is designed to give you the gritty feeling of sand between your teeth; its conflict is uncomfortable and honest. But with discomfort comes reward, and some hurricanes leave behind the most beautiful rainbows. Quote
Mary Riddel Posted February 4 Posted February 4 Write to Pitch Assignment Responses and see email Jan 16.docx Quote
HallCarlo Posted Tuesday at 07:17 PM Posted Tuesday at 07:17 PM FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. Master the power of nightmares to save the magic of dreams. SECOND ASSIGNMENT: Two heiresses of the country's most influential covens reveal the violent exploitation of America’s magi-tech industries. The mundane Morgan Bienville was raised under the protection of a family legacy dating back to the problematic founder of New Orleans. Built on institutionalized inequity of magical societies, the Bienville coven controls the Crossroads' magic of transportation. When a rare showing of extreme empathy lands Morgan in exile among the mentally ill at Crosspointe Institute, she must spy on the rival Proctor coven for redemption. There, she meets Tyler, whose dream magic both saves and transforms her, creating a sentient nightmare that resides on her back. After the spell kills her best friend, no violence is too extreme as she attempts to use Tyler’s power to end magic. Nine years after Crosspointe, Morgan attacks Tyler, kidnapping his lover. She aims to draw him away from the safety of Paulson College and back into The Dreaming, where she can use his power to end the exploitation of the magical. As Tyler’s adventure unfolds, his best friend Jesse Proctor betrays him in a desperate grab at power within the Proctor coven. Tyler must break their systems of power and control without ending the world's dreams. THIRD ASSIGNMENT: We Wake The Dreaming Only by Night The Memories of Dreams FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: If Buffy and David Lynch went to school with the Sopranos, they would attend Paulson College. INSTITUTIONAL OPPRESSION: The integration of the true-to-life societal and systematic oppression of real-world institutions and the allegorical power of their lore is comparable in The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake and Ninth House by Leah Bardugo. MORAL CENTER: Vita Nostra by Maryna and Serhiy Dyachenko similarly uses its magic system as a set piece and vocabulary to illustrate the main character’s realization that the harsh and dangerous demands of their warped reality are rooted in the ideology they must push against to develop their moral center. DISCOVERY OF MAGIC: The Magicians by Lev Grossman takes a similar academic approach with the discovery of magic fueling the characters’ desires. Also comparable is how realistic character arcs are mirrored in the mystical and esoteric rigors presented to young adults struggling to find purchase in the world. ALTS: Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: A cast-off undergrad must master the magic of his nightmares to save his cohort before the covens behind American industry steal the power of dreams for their magi-technology empires. SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: Tyler Maitland hides his history of institutional treatment for mental illness to maintain his place at an elite college built for the youth of “American oligarchies.” Desperate for economic and cultural stability in his future, he has spent the years since Crosspointe replacing his memories of that time with shame. He actively forgets, denying himself his reality, causing self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and deep-cutting anxiety when faced with the future he believes Paulson will provide. As a result, he lives his time at Paulson with apathetic indifference, shying from actively engaging in the growth needed to succeed in any personally fulfilling way. But when Morgan’s attack forces him to turn to his friends for help defeating the waking nightmare that kidnaps his newest lover, his desperation is confronted with the certainty that his only opportunity to rise above his lot in life will disappear. When magic is revealed and its provenance determined to be a physical element from The Dreaming named Ozoanara, which allows magic to flow into our realm, Tyler must confront the institutions that give him hope before they take everything away. Because what the covens want from Tyler is his ability to pull Ozoanara from The Dreaming. To that, they need his mind to enter their machines. Through the rigorous study of magic, occult philosophy, and mysticism, he begins to trust his ability to gain an understanding of the lessons hidden between the literature and the fabric of the world. Tyler realizes that opportunities are not provided to him by the systems controlling his future but by his personal worldview. As Tyler’s understanding grows, so does his ability to shift and control his perception, enabling the agency he needs to shape his own path. Only when he learns to accept his past, take pride in the person those struggles created, and empathize with those oppressed alongside him will he find the stability to create what he needs to save himself. Tyler must move from shame to self-possession to realize his potential. If he can not do that, his dreams will only fuel the magi-tech empires of the covens lurking behind American industry. Secondary Conflicts: ON LOVE: Tyler Maitland has rules for boys. He likes being naked with them, likes seeing them naked, and likes the secret meetings that late nights bring to his door. And he likes the places on campus that hide these secrets, like the bathroom at The Harbour, the only bar in Racepoint Village. The rules allow for all of this. Late-night knockers and bathroom-stall liaisons have kept his blood pumping in a way classes never could for the first two years at Paulson. Tyler Maitland does not like breaking the rules. The rules keep the other boys safe in his open secret. When he meets Eli at the Harbour, he hopes it is the whiskey that allows their smirks to fly across the bar unhidden by a covert nod toward the bathroom. There can’t be something special about this boy. Tyler doesn’t break the rules that have kept him stable for anyone, let alone some sophomore dancer with pep in his step. So why does he leave with him? Why doesn’t he care when everyone watches them stride out the door, clearly heading to Tyler’s room? What does love look like to Tyler? Everyone knows he is gay, but they also know not to say it out loud. Friends dance around his nature, learning that to acknowledge it picks a scab too tender to touch. But that tenderness is supported by something much more broken. The pain is more profound than a need to come out; after all, he lives in a quiet out-ness that makes everyone comfortable enough to get naked. If Eli challenges these rules, what else under Tyler’s scabs will be shown the light of day? And if this is love, what happens when Eli leaves him? Everyone who loves Tyler leaves eventually. ON FRIENDSHIP: Tyler’s circle of support is grounded in his tricycle friendship with Jesse Proctor and Sarah Rice. The two women offer his first real look at walking through the world with conviction and purpose. Jesse comes to Paulson via her family’s legacy ties to the school, her next step after the secure promise of an Upper East Side private education. Jesse strides forward with the assurance of a place in a family-run industrial complex, sprawling education, and medicine. Buildings at Paulson have the name Proctor hammered into their gray stone facades with the mallet of the family wallet. When Jesse faces the Student Disciplinary Board, Sarah has no room for empathy. “Just build them a gym or renovate the music wing or something,” she says. Sarah suffers no foolishness, instead driving her focus into the academic pursuit of understanding the world through the natural sciences. Sarah dreams of joining the ranks of her father in the prestigious institutions of Washington D.C. after Paulson. Submitting her Senior Thesis this year, the ladies' final year at Paulson, will be the catalyst to propel her to those stone giants that crawl across the National Mall carrying thousands of years of measurable progress in advancing knowledge. Tyler knows he is both a project and a toy for “the ladies.” A little brother with whom they giggle in anticipation at lunch, ply with cheap prosecco into riotous but agreed-upon embarrassments, and comfort in the solace of their impenetrable triangle of protection. He becomes both a jester and a protected project to Jesse and Sarah. He fuels this role with abandon to satisfy his hope that their trajectories will pull him into a current of success so strong that to swim it, all he needs do is agree to its force and lay back in submission. But when Tyler’s potential for magic inverts this power structure, and the Proctor family’s true provenance and illusion-based magic falls under the microscope, Jesse’s superhuman assurance fails to hold sway. And when Sarah’s skeptical and analytical mind, constantly warring with her Catholic mores and obsequience to perceived familial adjudication, actively focuses on Tyler’s abilities to decipher how magic works, he must look at the nature of what is offered in these friendships. More importantly, Tyler must interrogate what he offers in return. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Historically known as ‘the writer’s college,’ Paulson College primarily offers an education in paradox. First told to him on his Freshman tour, the phrase “Presidents were educated here” cycles through Tyler’s mind as a twisted mantra. It is both an inspirational promise of security when he walks the ‘runs and cuts’ of Mather Library and a pointed, exclusionary taunt when he embarrasses himself with wandering monologues eliciting stares from classmates in his Dante lecture. At Paulson, Tyler is the college’s apparent scholarship hope, a bet these pillars of learning made that continues to return in the red. The campus is remote, tucked into the hills at the base of Mt. Washington in Racepoint Village, Massachusetts. Both a sadness and a promise waft off of the Gothic architecture erected almost a hundred years before the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Seawall Tower, the oldest and tallest structure on campus, climbs into the rolling grey clouds of New England skies like a history both abandoned and venerated. There is also a future of modernity tacked onto the landscape. Integrated into historic structures, steel and glass contrast with newly built, saucer-like, brutalist concrete constructions that dot the hills of the North Campus, where ‘the artists’ toil away in studios and on stage. The students who fill Tyler’s literature lecture halls down South, where colorful light falls through the windows of stained glassed poet-saints across their faces, revel in the four years of freedom the school provides before being thrust back into their urban echelons. New York, D.C., Los Angeles, and Chicago convene in these gray monoliths, preparing them for a different future than what they are taught. Here and now, they read Poe. Later, they’ll take jobs at Bear Stearns and legal firms already proclaiming “and Sons” in their lobbies. Unavoidably, after Morgan’s unprecedented magical blitz, Jesse must reveal Paulson’s hidden past. This stone cluster on a hill connects to the Salem Trials, the Proctors’ true magical nature, and the coven’s cloaked flight west to build their first secret Meetinghouse, Seawall Tower. Now, in 1999, with their power centered in New York City, the campus is encircled in a magi-tech salt circle limiting magic within. Even the most potent practitioners send their children here to learn without magic. That should only be taught within the coven, according to Jesse. Gradually, the campus infrastructure integrates into Tyler's magical education as he and Sarah research the physical material used to channel dream magic. His relationships grow with his advisor, Professor Platt, and the director of Mather Library’s Research Desk, Mrs. Cameron, as they shepherd Tyler to pick at the occultist histories written into the campus map. Together, they sketch roads from Paulson to America’s boardrooms. Mrs Cameron's occultist studies of The Records, physical magic written into the Earth, shape Tyler’s exploration of Paulson and the mysteries hidden in its wrappings of propaganda and historical misdirection. At Paulson, Tyler now seeks education to build more equitable dreams than the twisted implications of the covens' aspirations, still rooted in the 1700s. Quote
Ben Cruz Posted Thursday at 08:49 PM Posted Thursday at 08:49 PM 1.Story Statement: Nick sets out to film a documentary about his father, Martin Shade, a famous jazz musician who disappeared when Nick was eight years old. 2. Antagonist: The novel is plotted on three levels. The first level is Nick and his high school girlfriend, Vanessa Gibb, interviewing people who played a crucial role in Martin’s life. The story takes an unexpected turn when Nick and Vanessa discover a secret love affair and the existence of a musical instrument that used to belong to Martin and that everyone covets, which pits Nick against unknown antagonistic forces. The second plot line is Martin Shade playing in a racially-integrated jazz trio in the sixties, in Joe Erskine’s territory. Joe Erskine is the mafia-connected owner of the San Francisco club where Shade Mann Bates, Martin’s trio, plays nine months of the year. Everybody knows Erskine is ruthless in his business dealings and the club is a physical representation of himself, dark and sinister. Erskine is jealous of Martin, but prefers to keep him close by exploiting Martin’s drug addiction to keep him employed and dependent. When Martin’s reliability as a musician deteriorates, Erskine convinces his bandmates to replace him, sending Martin on a downward spiral that brings him face to face with the forces that are set to destroy him. The third sub-plot is a love triangle between Martin Shade, Nick’s mother and Desmond Bates, a brilliant Black pianist and Martin’s bandmate. As the two musicians compete for Marisa’s love, their friendship is tested. Conflict rises and intertwines with the other two plot lines to bring the novel to denouement. 3.Titles: “Thermidor” – Nick grew up listening to his father’s music and in particular to “Thermidor” an album recorded a few weeks before Martin Shade went missing, which became a jazz standard. Growing up, Nick suspected the album was related to his father’s disappearance. “Shade” – born Martin Shrader, Nick’s father changed his name to “Shade” when he moved to San Francisco from the East Bay to become a professional musician. “Glen Park” – the San Francisco neighborhood where the novel takes place and the name of Thermidor’s third track evoking a shared bus ride where Bates and Nick’s mother fell in love. 4.Genre: Thriller Comps: This story will resonate with readers who appreciated “The Shadow of the Wind” by Carlos Ruiz Zafon for the quest with lively characters in vivid settings and "The Ocean at the End of the Lane," by Neil Gaiman by the way the novel weaves rich stories with imaginative and fantastical elements. Fans of the movie "Green Book" and the HBO series "Tremé" will also find affinities with this novel. 5. Write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound. Nick’s father disappeared thirty years ago after recording Thermidor. Now Nick must find out what happened to him and recover a trumpet that wields special powers. 6. Sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction. Central Conflict. Nick Shade is no stranger to loss. He grew up haunted by his father’s disappearance and stopped enjoying music after his mother died of cancer. When Vanessa Gibb asks for his help filming a documentary about his father, Nick has become complacent and is stuck in a job as a camara operator for a local TV channel. At first, he resists rekindling any hope of finding his father, but is seduced by Vanessa and agrees to help her on condition that they keep his identity secret - he does not want the spotlight on him. As they conduct interviews for the documentary, Nick hides behind the camera, as narrator and witness, the way he has lived his life so far, but progressively gains agency and is forced to take action. Hypothetical: Throughout the novel Nick remains conflicted about finding the truth, as disturbing as it may be, by delving deeper into his parents’ secret history. When he and Vanessa discover a love affair between his mother and Bates, despite his first impulse to deny it, Nick is gnawed by curiosity. Abetted by Vanessa, he breaks into Bates’ house in Bayou St. John in the middle of the night and steals his mother’s diaries. With this information they reconstruct the past and Nick’s struggle begins to distinguish reality from his imagination. Throughout the novel, Nick and Vanessa harbor feelings for each other, share tender moments and even consummate their long-lost love affair. However, Nick finds reality is not what it seems, and that Vanessa is part of a complex web weaved around him. To win, Nick must reconcile with his past and make peace with his lost father. Secondary Conflict Martin Shade and Desmond Bates are friends, bandmates and opposites. Martin is white, Bates is black. Martin is brash and impulsive, Bates is disciplined and thoughtful. They play in a jazz trio in the sixties when the Civil Rights are little more than fresh ink on paper. Hypothetical: While on tour in a town south of the Mason-Dixon a man hurts Bates for using the hotel swimming pool. Martin bludgeons and abducts the man to Bates’ horror who disapproves of violence but who is nonetheless grateful. Bates then repays the favor when Martin gets in trouble with Erskine. Their friendship is constantly tested and affected by social forces, especially when Bates and Marisa are attacked by three robbers who mistake them for an interracial couple when Bates is walking her home. 7. Settings: The first and third parts of the novel take place around San Francisco and New Orleans, present time. The second part of the novel which narrates the story of Martin Shade, takes place in San Francisco in the sixties. Santa Cruz – The novel opens in the coastal highway between San Francisco and Santa Cruz as Vanessa and Nick are traveling to meet with Charlie Mann, the ex-drummer of Shade Mann Bates. The coastal terrain is menacing, with sharp drops, reflecting they are stepping into the unknown. In Half Moon Bay, Vanessa sees herself in a young surfer girl paddling in the ocean. Later on, they visit the Santa Cruz Boardwalk with its throwback Seafair and Nick feels the past insinuating itself as if seeping through a crack in time. New Orleans - next they head to meet with Desmond Bates and arrive at the French Quarter at mid-night in the middle of a thunderstorm. They take refuge in haunted hotel. Bates, who is originally from the South, has moved back home in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. Bayou St. John, the French Quarter and the St. Louis Basilica are central to the action, especially when Nick plays his father’s trumpet with a young brass band on Jackson Square. Glen Park – described as the foggy lands west of Twin Peaks, Glen Park is a middle-class neighborhood in San Francisco where Vanessa and Nick grew up and where most of the action takes place. This is also the setting for Martin Shade’s backstory. The Black Hawk - is the San Francisco club owned by Erskine, always dark no matter the time of day with back alleyways where hunched figures lurk while getting a fix. Quote
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