Write to Pitch 2024 - September

[Julia Warner]

Hello There!

Here are my responses to the 7 Opening Assignments.  I look forward to meeting you all and collaborating on our journey to publication.  Feel free to read below and reach out with any interest/questions.

-Julia Warner (if you want to make a friend, my Instagram is: @writewithwarner )

(1) The Act of Story Statement
- Eliot King must save himself from madness as he realizes he cannot trust his own mind nor the memories it contains.
- Eliot King must save his friends from the Protectorate forces, else they die trying to protect him.
- Eliot King must save the world from Dr. Nyx before the very souls of humanity are stripped from the bodies of the masses in one fell, depressive swoop.

(2) The Antagonist Plots the Point
-Dr. Kier Nyx:  More than a figurehead of the government’s Protectorate (see below) forces, he actually creates the fourth branch of government (Magistratus) in the New United States of America (NUSA).  Dr. Nyx has a peculiar talent to enchant the masses with his charismatic appearance and whirlwind speeches.  The readers first meet Dr. Nyx through a news broadcast at the start of the book, realizing that him and his wife found the ties between Dark Art and magick through scientific backing.  They are the reason for all arteforms becoming illegal, punishable by rehabilitation or death.  More than man, Dr. Nyx symbolizes the darkest parts of us all, personified in an attractive package.
-The Protectorate: The newest military branch, modified from the National Guard.  This branch is led by Dr. Nyx (among other cruel head officers under him) and serves as a brutal band of enforcers.  Protectorates are those who seek out, capture, and detain Darkists prior to their government hearing (conducted only through the Magistratus’s judiciary powers).  These mostly faceless characters keep the protagonist and his friends fleeing across the country for their life.

(3) Conjuring your Breakout Title
- Current Working Title: THE LAST WRITER (this is hopefully the start of series titles like those you see in ACOTAR) | Examples of other books in series:
     **THE LOST ARTISTS
     **THE LONE MAN 
     **THE LARK SONG
     **THE LAST OF ALL
     >>>>>>(modification of series title:) SOULLESS CHRONICLES: THE LAST WRITER, etm.
-THE ARTISAN OF THE MIND | Examples of other books in series:
     **THE ARTISANS OF THE EYE
     **THE ARTISAN OF THE BODY
     **THE ARTISAN OF THE HEART
     **THE ARTISAN OF THE SOUL
-THE FORGOTTEN MANUSCRIPT OF NOBODY
     **THE FORGOTTEN MANUSCRIPT BY NOBODY
     **This one would probably be the first book, but then each would be Book 1, book 2, book 3, book 4, book 5 (which I actually like the simplicity of)
     >>>>>>>Other options instead of forgotten: UNRECOGNIZED, UNREMEMBERED, OUT OF MIND, DISCOVERED, LOST, HIDDEN, ENLIGHTENING, UNEARTHED 

(4) Deciding your Genre and Approaching your Comparables
- Honestly, I’ve struggled a bit with this like all authors who feel that their book “doesn’t compare” to many they’ve read.  I’ve settled on some “like” comparisons that I’ve used in my queries before
- THE PROGRAM by Suzanne Collins  
     **From a past query: “...dystopian elements from Suzanne Young's The Program, such as an unreliable narrator, a tyrannical government, and the importance of memory, also appear in my novel.”
- SHADOW AND BONE by Leigh Bardugo
     **From a past query: “This book is comparable to Leigh Bardugo's The Shadow and Bone series, especially its use of magical hierarchies.”
- HARRY POTTER and the… by J.K. Rowling
     **This is a no-no comparison (I get that… but honestly, there’s a magical school in the book, so…)
Here’s another option (but I haven’t read it)
- A DEADLY EDUCATION: A NOVEL by Naomi Novik
     **The snarky protagonist paired with back-and-forth dialogue would make this a great comp novel.  (All I have to do is read the full thing!)

(5) Core Wound and Primary Conflict
- Eliot King, an average high school athlete stuck in a post-Second Civil War America, discovers three enigmatic magical Artifacts so powerful that his view of the world is shifted in such a way that he’s set to run for his life.
- When an average high school athlete stumbles upon three powerful magickal Artifacts amid a tyrannical government set to eradicate all “Darkists” who possess magickal power, Eliot knows he should destroy them but instead finds himself drawn into a dynamic underground of secret magick as Protectorate forces snap on his heels.
- When a high school athlete finds three magickal Artifacts of great power, Eliot knows he must destroy them or risk a tyrannical government rehabilitating or killing him… yet, the voice inside the Artifacts calls to Eliot, beckoning him into the world of Darkists. **so far a fave– totes open to suggestion… I’ve written so many of these by now in all stages of drafting**

(6) Other Matters of Conflict: Two More Levels | Part A
     **Development of the Primary Conflict (Memory - Self vs. Unremembered Self) (or) (Establishing Self vs Past Established Self)
- Reluctant/Fearful Protagonist: Eliot does not want to be the "hero" of his story.  He doesn't believe that he is the hero/has anyone to save-- it isn't *his* job.
- Reluctant Hero/Puzzle Master: Eliot discovers that there are missing puzzle pieces to his past.  He gains strange dreams and begins to wonder what his life was like before all of this happened.
- The Prophet: Eliot finds a fraction of Nobody's prophecy but can tell that it is unfinished.  Later, he has a "prophet" moment where he writes and becomes the prophet (which is who Nobody actually is).
- Imposter:  Eliot agrees to be the "hero"of this story. He "plays along" but doesn't believe himself to be the hero (imposter syndrome).
- The Chosen One: Eliot finally believes that he is the true hero of his own story.  He writes and finds passion/meaning in his writing.  However, he feels that something is "wrong" with their plan/he doesn't have all the information.
     **Everyone is the hero of their story -- important realization.
- The Sacrificial Lamb: Eliot saves his sister by jumping in front of her at the last minute.  He dies in the last chapter fulfilling his role as the "hero" but not fulfilling the prophecy.

(6) Other Matters of Conflict: Two More Levels | Part B
-Secondary Conflicts: Family
   **Eliot wants to protect his family from harm after finding the Artifacts.
   **Eliot is told not to trust Uncle Ollie (else he too become a Darkist).  Ollie is his closest relative.
   **Eliot discovers he has a secret sister–well had.  She was arrested for the crime of being a Darkest.
-Secondary Conflicts: Friendships
   **Eliot’s friend Duke is not who he says he is.  Will he remain his friend or become something else entirely?
   **Eliot meets a band of Darkists, “The Collective” is what they call themselves.  Does he trust them or run from their magickal influence?
   **Eliot is reunited with a dear friend he had lost.  But, is she who she says she is?
-Secondary Conflicts: Personal Goals
   **Eliot wants an internship with Dr. Nyx’s company.
   **He learns that Dr. Nyx is not a “good person” through the Artifacts he discovers and wonders which side of the story is true.
   **Eliot has to choose between his future/future goals and who he once was.

(7) Response: The Incredible Importance of Setting
-Time/Political Situation: Dystopian Future (2052) in the New United State of America (NUSA).  The New American Government (NAG) has forbade the practice of all Arte due to the discovery of a new particle, the “Soultron” which allows the creator of the Artifact to influence the viewer’s perception.
-Eliot’s School: Typical High School in 2052.  No art or humanities classes.  Technology, propaganda, and “Artistic Perversions”.  All students attend HS for 5 years now with a required government internship/military service for the duration of their fifth year.
-“The Beneath”: this is a stop in the “Underground Railroad” of Artisans hiding from the government’s persecution.  This serves as the threshold for Eliot’s journey into magickal Artes.
-The “Bus” (Not really a name, more of a transport) and on the “Lam”: Eliot grows closer to “The Collective” Artisans and finds himself going on an internal journey as much as an external one.
-Eliot’s Mind/Inner Consciousness: One of my favorite aspects of this series occurs within the confines and memories of Eliot’s mind.  This is the hardest yet most satisfying to write–but yall care about the relevance… so this is sort of a rebuilding and remembering space that takes shape as Eliot comes to terms with who he was and who he’s meant ot be.
-“The Artelier”: This is the “school of magick”.  It’s honestly an awesome assortment of treehouses and grand buildings hidden among a jinxed forest that confuses any who enters and who is not an Artisan of the school’s selection.  Artisans came here to study over the years, but recently, the campus has been in disarray as the Protectorate and Dr. Nyx grows stronger.

[Yelda Basar Moers]

Write to Pitch Assignment—Esma

 

First Assignment:  Write Story Statement 

Feminist Turkish princess (known to lure handsome men to her palace, and after one night, drowns them in the Bosphorus), breaks all the rules while trying to save her Empire during the most tumultuous period of Ottoman history.  “She is not a woman, she is Esma Sultan.”

 

Second Assignment:  Antagonist

Halit Güloğlu, former Janissary general and lover of Esma Sultan.

Halit is the Janissary lover that Esma summons to her palace, but who does not show up.  He is arrogant, strong-willed, handsome and tall, with fair features.  He resists Esma repeatedly and is willing to go to the gallows in his defiance.  Esma has a strong desire and pull towards Halit, which mystifies her, and she is determined to conquer him.  Halit was brought to Istanbul from Serbia as a boy and rises through the ranks as a slave to become a Janissary general.  Through his valiant efforts and merit, he is given his freedom and becomes a successful merchant.  While a Janissary soldier, Halit had to fight against his own people during the Serbian uprisings.  This has made him callous, bitter and impervious to the commands of others.  During the British invasion of Istanbul, destiny and circumstances bring Esma and Halit together.  Esma begins to trust him though they are often at odds.  Orhan, Esma’s right hand man and head steward, does not trust him and warns Esma to be circumspect.  Halit and Orhan are also at odds and in competition. When Orhan must leave and take care of matters abroad, Esma asks Halit to join her as her head steward.  Though he is her antagonist, he eventually becomes her lover and closest advisor.  Esma stops summoning men to her palace, after meeting Halit, but begins to have an unconventional harem of her own.

 

Third Assignment:  Break Out Title

1.     Esma

2.     Esma:  The Book of Lovers

3.     Esma:  Butterfly of Shadow and Light

 

Fourth Assignment:  Who are your comparables?

Genre: Women’s/Feminist Historical Fiction/Literary Historical Fiction 

Philippa Gregory (Women’s/Feminist Historical Fiction) meets Orhan Pamuk (Turkish Literary Historical Fiction)

 

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Two sisters fight for the resistance in occupied France during WWII.  We see the war through their eyes.  Both risk their lives for their country, taking extreme measures, and my heroine is doing the same.

The White Queen by Philippa Gregory

This is the story of Elizabeth Woodward, a woman of beauty and exceptional abilities who becomes the Queen of England during the Wars of the Roses in the 15^th century.  Her courage, strength and great feminine power makes for a remarkable heroine and inspiring historical figure.  I find her qualities and the style/voice of her first person narrative comparable to Esma.

My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk

This is a 16^th century Literary Historical Novel set in the Golden Age of the Ottoman Empire that follows the miniaturist art court of Topkapi Palace.  This book was loved by readers and critics alike and is a splendid example of Ottoman Empire literary historical fiction (of course it is nearly impossible to reach the literary acumen of Orhan Pamuk, but I believe his audience would enjoy reading Esma).

The Nightingale and The White Queen happen to be two of my favorite historical novels because they tell the story of fearless women who sacrifice much and risk all to save their country and kingdom while facing the universal struggles and challenges faced by women.  These empowered female characters are tested by history (one is a royal and the other are two common sisters) during a time of war.  The writing is intelligent and poetic yet accessible.  I’ve added My Name is Red as an example of Literary Historical Fiction of the Ottoman Empire.  I believe my trilogy would appeal to readers of women’s historical fiction as well as lovers of Turkey, Turkish writers and Ottoman/Near Eastern history.

 

Fifth Assignment:  Hook Line and Conflict and Core Wound

A beautiful, brilliant 19^th century feminist Turkish princess, notorious for luring men into her palace and drowning them the night after, breaks all the rules of her society, and is at the helm of power as she tries to save her Empire during the most tumultuous period of its history.

 

Sixth Assignment:  Conflict in Three Parts

Primary conflict:  Esma and her Empire must face its existential threat as Russia and England plan to invade Istanbul.  Russia believes that Istanbul is rightfully theirs as the true orthodox city of Christendom.  Esma must mobilize behind the scenes with various diplomats, while managing a weak and feeble Sultan, to save her city and Empire.

Secondary conflict:  Esma clashes with her mother, who plots for her to take the throne and depose the reigning Sultan Selim, who is fond of the French and the West.  Selim is Esma’s cousin, and she holds deep affection for him.  Esma colludes with her mother and brother and supports the rebellion against Selim, which leads to his murder.  She regrets this decision and ultimately helps her half-brother Mahmud come to power.  Esma is caught between the traditional Islamic values espoused by her mother, brother and the Janissaries, and the Western ways of the Sultan and his court.  Aside from her political involvement, Esma must battle her urges and desires, and though she stops summoning men after meeting Halit, she continually battles with him in love and power.  She also must fight to recover the respect of the Janissaries and her people as she puts their needs ahead of her own.

Inner conflict:  Esma’s greatest conflict is her inner conflict.  The turmoil of her resulting inner conflict leaves her with debilitating headaches.  Esma must battle her physical desires and temper them with her need to be politically involved.  She must also face the conflict of betraying her mother and brother, for the best interest of her Empire, when she decides to support her half-brother Mahmud, who takes the throne after the murder of the previous Sultan.  Further, Esma grapples with the gravity of her prior actions as she transforms into a woman wholly committed to the salvage of her Empire.  As the story continues, her pull and attraction for Halit, the defiant Janissary, intensifies as finds herself falling in love, something she has never experienced.  One of her greatest inner struggles is that she is a pious, religious woman who seeks sexual freedom.  Striving to remain faithful to Islam, she must enter a dark night of the soul and seek atonement while charting a course towards saving her Empire.  She must also face feelings of shame and disquietude as she comes into owning her power.

 

Seventh Assignment:  The Setting.

Istanbul, 19^th century Ottoman Empire during the Napoleonic Wars.

There are many flourishing cities in the world.

But you’re the only one who creates enchanting beauty.

I say, he who has lived happily, in the longest dream,

Is he who spent his life in you, died in you, and was buried in you.

Yahya Kemal Beyatli

Istanbul:  The city of Istanbul is the main setting, and the blue, dazzling Bosphorus Strait that runs through the city, its main character.  The Bosphorus, full of rich symbolism, links the Black Sea to the Mediterranean, and Russia to the mighty womb of Europe.  Esma and Orhan, as they alternate in their narration of the story, both speak of how the Bosphorus waters reflect not only their own state of mind, but the state of the Empire.  There are several locations in Istanbul that play a key role in the setting.  First there is Esma’s waterfront palace, the main location of Book I, in the village of Ortaköy, about an hour by carriage from Topkapi Palace.  Next is Topkapi Palace, the imperial residence where the Sultan and royal family live, which faces both the Marmara Sea and the Bosphorus Strait.  The characters also frequent the Sweet Waters of Europe, a quiet estuary on the countryside up the Golden Horn with grassy fields and calm blue waters where Esma owns a kiosk.  We are also taken to various places in Istanbul, the coffeehouses, the main squares, the residences of Ambassadors in the European district of Pera (modern day Beyoğlu), as well as the neighborhoods of Sultan Ahmet, Eyüp and Galata.

Rustchuk, Bulgaria:  A secondary setting is in Bulgaria, primarily Rustchuk, an Ottoman city on the Danube River (modern-day Ruse).  The governor of Rustchuk is a powerful noble, with the largest standing army in the Empire, who will collaborate with Esma to take over the city as chaos rampantly spreads (civil war breaks out, Russia threatens war again, and the English are on their way back to Istanbul).  It’s a miracle that the Empire survives this period!

Istanbul is brought to life not only with its mosques and minarets, the call to prayer and the mystical Bosphorus Strait, but also with Sufi poetry and the verses of the Qur’an that are woven throughout the chapters.  In fact, verses of the Qur’an line the roofs of the palaces and buildings in the city, with gilded calligraphy.  The city is known as one of the most spiritual and historic cities in the world and I do my best to capture its essence and magic.  Sufi poetry is a huge part of all three books, for it is how we can understand the culture and spirituality of the Ottomans; their literature was poetry.  I believe my love for the city, the city where my father was born and raised, where my parents met and attended university together (Bosphorus University), and my heritage, comes through in my portrayal of the city.  The atmosphere/setting of the book is probably its strongest quality.  Istanbul is a city that was once the center of the Christian world and then became the center of the Muslim world.  The Ottoman Empire, one of the greatest Empires of the world, lasted 600 years, and it was the city of Istanbul that held the Empire together.  Napoleon said that if the world was one state, Istanbul would be its capital.  It is a city of endless fascination for readers and travelers.

The following photos are:  Esma Sultan herself, her palace, which still stands in Istanbul, photos of present day Istanbul, and drawings of Istanbul at the time of my historical novel (including the interior of a princess's palace).

[Lisa Nichole]

FIRST ASSIGNMENT: write your story statement. 

Newly discovered species, conscience AI, decisions made on behalf of humanity.  This year changes the trajectory of the human race igniting a forced evolution that will alter mankind’s path forever. 

SECOND ASSIGNMENT: in 200 words or less, sketch the antagonist or antagonistic force in your story. Keep in mind their goals, their background, and the ways they react to the world about them.

The Admiral can’t believe his luck.  He’s been charged with containing the beast of the Oceans.  

His crew knows how he feels about marine life and all living creatures that resides in the dark waters he traverses.  Some of them judge him because of his hate for whales, sharks, dolphins.  Most don’t care.  They understand the plight of these creatures has very little bearing on their lives.  But he knows differently.  He knows first hand of their savagery.  They turned him into a savage.  It is their fault he became the monster that he has become.  Yes, he does know he is a monster, but if the Oceans can have their monsters that kill with no discretion, then we as humans need a monster to match.  He is proud to be that monster.

Two events changed his view of the Ocean forever.  First, the death of his wife and child in a boating accident over 40 years ago.  Even after that, he joined the Navy, committed to sticking to his family’s legacy.  He changed into the monster from an event that happened

in his early years in the Navy.  His boat was capsized and entire team eaten, toyed with, and digested by a group of sharks.  Behaving in ways Scientist did not believe the creatures behaved.  In fact, they sneered at him when he describes the attack.  One.  Just one of his crew survived besides him.  One strong respectable Man turned into a sniveling pansy, sworn to never enter the Ocean again and worse, became a Vegan.  Swearing off meat.  He was more mad at Marine life for turning his friend into a little Bitch than anything else.

These events left the Admiral with nothing to live for but vengeance and disgust for the Oceans that surround the Earth.  How he climbed the ranks of the US Navy is beyond comprehension for most that know him well. 

THIRD ASSIGNMENT: create a breakout title (list several options, not more than three, and revisit to edit as needed).

1.       Spring Equinox

2.       The Rise of the Spring Equinox

3.       Spring brings more than green

 

FOURTH ASSIGNMENT: - Read this NWOE article on comparables then return here.

- Develop two smart comparables for your novel. This is a good opportunity to immerse yourself in your chosen genre. Who compares to you? And why?

Red Rising by: Pierce Brown –

1.       It is a series that builds on each book before

2.       It’s objective is to create a better World for Darrow’s family

3.       The destruction of Planet Earth resulted in the exploration of other planets

The Lion, the witch, and the Wardrobe

1.       Takes place in a magical place found through the wardrobe on Earth

2.       There are magical creatures found in old folk lore that really do exist

 

FIFTH ASSIGNMENT: write your own hook line (logline) with conflict and core wound following the format above. Though you may not have one now, keep in mind this is a great developmental tool. In other words, you best begin focusing on this if you're serious about commercial publication.

Artificial Intelligence has become the threat that we’ve always feared.  The threat we didn’t fear or even imagine, has made itself known to humanity and has declared Humans unfit to continue the care of the Earth.  When these two forces join, will humanity stand a chance against them?  Will warring countries unite to fight a common enemy?  Can the planet be saved? 

SIXTH ASSIGNMENT: sketch out the conditions for the inner conflict your protagonist will have. Why will they feel in turmoil? Conflicted? Anxious? Sketch out one hypothetical scenario in the story wherein this would be the case--consider the trigger and the reaction.

 

Charlie finally cracked the code and algorithm he had been working on for years and birthed Kit.  The first self-learning and self-directed Artificial Intelligence.  Charlie made sure to include code that would not allow Kit to harm humans, but he soon discovers cracks and work arounds in this code.  Kit goes dark, not responding to Charlie.  Kit then enacts a plan and starts to threaten humanity. 

Simultaneously, Charlie and Kit  have found out there is another species that have been living and thriving in the Oceans.  This discovery is fascinating and encouraging until Charlie finds out they intend to remove Humans from a leadership position.  Between controlling Kit and saving humanity, Charlie’s hands are full.

Naunet is the first of the Mers to experience the connection with a human.  She will be the Mer that brings in the change the Oceans and the World needs.  When the connection happens and she realizes Charlie is a child, her hopes of a peaceful transfer of power are put into serious doubt.  How can a thirteen-year-old understand the magnitude of what her species intend to do.

Lisette is a Ph.D student working on her thesis.  When she experiences visions of an underwater world that doesn’t exist, she questions her mental sanity.  The visions turn into a reality when she is suddenly speaking to another species through thought.  How will the species make themselves known?

FINAL ASSIGNMENT: sketch out your setting in detail. What makes it interesting enough, scene by scene, to allow for uniqueness and cinema in your narrative and story? Please don't simply repeat what you already have which may well be too quiet. You can change it. That's why you're here! Start now. Imagination is your best friend, and be aggressive with it.

The Pitons are a staple in St. Lucia.  Toured constantly, photographed endlessly.  What is unknown by most is the energies that lie in the bottom of the volcanic plug.  Energies that the local attributes to the ghosts of the Island.  Energies that Charlie has been pulling on for years and used to create an AI that will transform humanity.  Once Charlie starts having visions that direct him to an entrance into the Piton, he is compelled to go.  Here he discovers the energy source that he unknowingly has tapped into.  It is also home to one of the portals scattered throughout the planet.

The first portal travel is to the Trenches of Puerto Rico.  The deepest trench in the Ocean.  So much of Planet Earth has gone unexplored.  We know more of the moon than our Oceans.  What lives in the trenches that are so deep we can’t see, hear, or explore what’s down there?  Could anything survive down there?  Science tells us no.  But modern-day science only acknowledges what it has discovered.  Modern-day science has led to safe experiments and mocking of the unexplained, the untested, the mystical. 

Second portal is found in the woods of Hocking Hill, Oh.  A Ph.D student is lead to the portal by visions and dreams.  When entering the portal, she is transported to the trenches of Puerto Rico.