Algonkian Retreats and Workshops - Assignments 2024 and 2025

[Phyllis Jordan]

1. Story statement:

Survive a wartime lockdown without betraying country or principles

Or more simply….

Maintain civility amid chaos and cruelty

2. Antagonist

The protagonist, Klara, is a German banker working in the United States who is essentially imprisoned in a luxury hotel after Pearl Harbor with her new husband Hans, a diplomat. She is caught between two antagonists. One is Fritz Grossmayer, a fellow German intent on debauching every woman he meets and promoting the Nazi cause. Her revulsion for him mirrors her growing awareness of what is happening in her homeland. The second antagonist is Sam Cooper, an FBI agent intent on exposing her as a German spy or turning her into an informant for the Americans.

3. Breakout title

Taking the Waters (European phrase for visiting a spa)

A Season at the Greenbrier (name of the resort where they’re staying)

Greenbrier

4. Comparables

Bel Canto: Ann Padgett’s glorious 2001 novel follows the fate of a group held hostage at an embassy taken over by Peruvian terrorists. Loosely based on an actual historical event, the book explores the unexpected interactions among the guests themselves and with their captors. Like Bel Canto, my book brings characters face to face with people and situations they wouldn’t typically encounter—and prompts them to re-evaluate past assumptions.

A Gentleman in Moscow: Amor Towles’ 2016 novel tells the story of a Russian aristocrat imprisoned in the finest hotel in Moscow after the Russian revolution. The lead character works to preserve his own values and dignity while making a life for himself in his limited circumstances. Like Towle’s hero, my heroine is encased in luxury and forced to find new ways to spend her time and to think deeply about what she values.

5. Primary conflict

In the wake of the attack on Pearl Harbor, a young German woman is interned by U.S. officials and must navigate a new marriage, Nazi politics, and her growing concern about the direction of the war back home. 

6. Inner conflict

A loyal German, Klara has nonetheless come to doubt the morality of Nazi policies and the progress of the war in Russia.  She questions whether her new husband is enabling a morally bankrupt system. 

This comes to a head when a witty journalist who’s critical of Hitler files a petition with U.S. authorities to remain in the States. Klara expects her husband, Hans, to support their friend’s request. Instead, Hans remains silent as Nazi leaders insist that the journalist return to Germany. Klara’s anger creates a rift in their marriage, especially after the journalist attempts suicide. It also emboldens her to defy German officials. When a young German nanny falls in love with an American bellhop, Klara orchestrates a plan to help her stay behind--a plan that has tragic consequences.

7. Secondary conflict

A secondary conflict is the state of Klara’s marriage. What began as a marriage of convenience—to ensure her safe passage back to Germany—has now become something more. She has fallen in love with her husband but is not sure he feels the same, especially when an old girlfriend turns up at the hotel where they are interned. She also worries that he is too weak to resist the worst of what the Nazis are asking him to do.

8. Setting

The setting is an extraordinary spa resort in the mountains of West Virginia. Less than a decade after hosting such luminaries as the Prince of Wales and Bing Crosby, The Greenbrier hotel has suddenly become an internment camp for Axis diplomats, who are waiting there until they can be traded for U.S. diplomats abroad. The well-manicured grounds are surrounded by spotlights, with Border Patrol officers guarding the gates. Inside the bright white hotel, though, the diplomats are treated as guests. Gourmet meals are served under Polish crystal chandeliers in the elegant dining room. Diplomats drink brandy and beer at the polished wood bar in the lobby, while other play chess at built-in tables. A giant ballroom is used to host weekly movie showings and an occasional dance. A smaller room beyond that features a grand piano and a sweeping view of the resort grounds. Children swim in an indoor pool set with Italian tiles, while bored wives soak in the sulphur-scented water of the spa. Elegant suites are assigned based on status at each embassy, and diplomats often host cocktail parties to show off their quarters. Even the chambermaids and nannies have their own hotel rooms with their beds turned down at night. Beneath all this luxury runs a basement corridor where the Greenbrier staff store their supplies, move laundry bins and, on occasion, spy on the guests.

[Meg Beeler]

Algonkian assignments submitted.docx

[Erica]

This is a redo on the homework using the new book I'm going to work on, Sleuthing on Set.

 

STORY STATEMENT: Sydney Lang must make a go of segueing into a writing career within the next few months or have to move to an unwanted city and job. A murder on set occurs and she feels she needs to solve it.

 

ANTAGONIST: My story has 2 antagonists. One is Willow Weston, the new PA who is the model daughter of a superproducer. Her goal is to get her script finished and to the showrunner before Sydney, and be selected to work in the writing department. The other antagonist is the murderer, but we don’t know who it is until the end. It’s someone who stabbed the showrunner’s assistant Olivia in the neck with a pen in the writers’ room.

 

TITLE: Sleuthing on Set

COMPS: Shock and Paw by Cate Conte

Murder Buys a One Way Ticket by Laura Levine

Both stories are fun, light cozy mysteries with strong female protagonist sleuths. There is whimsy and humor in the stories.

 

CORE WOUND: Sleuthing on Set is Sydney Lang’s journey from office temp to possible TV writer. When she encounters writers’ block, the only thing that helps her creativity flow is sleuthing around the murder of the showunner’s assistant on set.

 

INNER CONFLICT: Sydney is fighting to get her script finished in time to present it to Tina Tieri’s assistant with the goal of getting a job in writing. She encounters writers’ block and feels stuck, while her rival continues to get ahead. This makes her extremely nervous and worried that she will have to leave LA and move to another state to take a job in HR so she can support her son. She discovers that trying to solve the murder is a way to get her creating juices flowing again.

 

SECONDARY CONFLICT: Sydney’s 5-year-old son has behavioral and learning issues. She is worried about being able to properly parent him and get him the help he needs. In one scene he has to go to a psyche hospital after threatening to “murder” someone (a term he learned while his mother has been sleuthing). Sydney feels challenged to rise to the occasion and help him get better.

 

SETTING: The majority of the story takes place on the Brighton Network lot, a television studio in Los Angeles, both in the production office and on set. It adds an interesting element to the story, with the murder suspects being Brighton employees.

[Emlen]

 

[Dana]

ASSIGNMENT 1––STORY STATEMENT

                  Destroy blood tie loyalty to save two generations of innocent families. 

ASSIGNMENT 2 ––MAIN ANTAGANIST

A beautiful, strapping boy, little Cesar Ixtle believed he deserved more; his motto, ends justify means, a notion he never outgrows. From the first act of killing his ½ brother’s madre to create his dream family, his actions tend to bring pain. With no-one to watch over his equally beautiful and strapping ½ brother, when the rainy season comes to their jungle village, the river rises carrying the polio virus which infects his ½ brother. Remorseless, yet protective of his now, less than sibling, his own sense of worth grows. As young men, they migrate to California, where Cesar Ixtle creates a persona as a suave man of business, seductive and ruthless, manipulating weaknesses to enhance his position and power with a sociopathic flair. Regardless of how, his goal is to become more. 

 

ASSIGNMENT 3 ––BREAKOUT TITLE

Signal Hill–––––––––––––––China Town (screenplay, setting as character)

Camp Stories––––––––––––The Hive (creation myth informs real life, story within a story)

The Lesser Half––––––––––Missing Parts (1/2 truths are still ½ lies)

 

ASSIGNMENT 4 ––COMP TITLES 

The Guest Book by Sarah Blake. 3 generations coming to terms with what it means to inherit the past. 1930-present day.

The Berry Pickers by Amanda Peters. A story about separation, intuition, and the search for truth in the shadow of trauma. 1962 period

The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards. Twins separated at birth; secrets kept until wrongs of the past catch up with the present. 1964 period 

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins (migration, family saga, gangs, murder, sacrifice, revenge).

Boardwalk Empire: The Birth, High Times, and Corruption of Atlantic City by Nelson Johnson (non-fiction inspiration for TV series about the rise and fall of a Atlantic City)

 

 

ASSIGNMENT 5––Hook Line

A brilliant man deformed by polio must either stay loyal to his sociopathic ½ brother or reveal secrets that will implicate them both to save one innocent man and set free two families snarled in a web of drug deals, kidnapping and murder. 

ASSIGNMENT 6––Protagonist Inner Conflict

Ignacio Morales, a brilliant, kind and handsome boy loves his ½ brother Cesar Ixtle. Only weeks apart in age, their bond is unbreakable; brothers first and forever against all others who make due in shacks skirting the jungle river in central Mexico. Unfortunately for Ignacio, Cesar is impulsive and not right in the head. When Cesar decides he wants to have their shared papa more, he kills Ignacio’s mother believing that he’s creating his dream family, his own mamma, Ignacio and their papa. Without his mamma to watch out for him, when the seasonal torrential rains flood the river, the Polio virus infects Ignacio, altering his physical development. Ridiculed and bullied because of his deformities, Ignacio relies on his brain and his compassion to navigate life as a visual monster alongside his perfectly formed yet sociopathic ½ brother who believes he is Ignacio’s champion. How can Ignacio love and trust his brother when buried deep inside he fears seeing the truth, that Cesar killed his mother. 

 

ASSIGNMENT 6–– Secondary Conflict, Social Environment

 

*Ignacio was beginning to think he spent too much time waiting in his car. The seat was molded to his shape, a guarantee that no other driver would ever feel comfortable. He rubbed his thumb on the cracked leather at the top of his worn crutch. The skin of his armpit was an elephant’s heel in its years of chafing and wear. 

A woman crossed the street from the gas station toward The Copper Penny, pushing a baby in a pram. She was dressed casually in denim pants that stopped at her mid-calf, with a man’s button-down shirt that fell to her knees. She wore a fishing cap pulled down over her ears. The epitome of casual grace. Of normalcy. Of thoughtless expectation. 

He wondered what it felt like to have that kind of life.

Ignacio grabbed the leather strap of his brace to adjust his leg. He leaned an elbow against the car door, resting his cheek on his fist. The young lady with the pram was going into the diner where he was to meet Cesar for breakfast. 

Ignacio hoped she would sit along the row of booths on the ocean side of the diner. Most wouldn’t choose to sit and look at the gas station. 

When people saw Ignacio moving about, he was always bothered by the upset and concern in their eyes, or more often the case, their conscious efforts to disregard him like one does an ugly stray animal hobbling on the street. He spent his whole life trying to move as gracefully as he could, despite those overdeveloped arms and chest, leg braces, crutches, and one foot clad in a platform shoe as tall as a brick. 

Appearing as normal was a lifelong effort. He wore a suit; his pants matched his jacket, and he always wore a tie. His shirts were laundered, collars and cuffs starched. Intelligent men were to dress appropriately. And he wasn’t some throwaway lazy, stupid, low-life mug. 

Ignacio rolled down the window, letting the air in to conceal the stale tobacco smell of his driver seat.

The world often judged in the most superficial of ways. 

People were so blind to substance, and there certainly was no getting around that his book had the ugliest cover; and throughout life it was so difficult for him to not reflexively judge every pretty cover as just a mask to hide warped and rotted pages. But in those such cases, of one’s idolatry of cosmetic value, Ignacio relied on unfeeling stoicism, discerning the ignorance and miscalculations from others as a weapon unto himself—especially from those who deemed him some lifeless puppet.   

Ignacio was mostly a cautionary tale of bad luck, ill deeds, and the slovenly countenance of several lost decades to the void. Upon the pitiful glances that reach him, no more than as brief a moment can be, he could tell that in their minds, they could rest easier as the lucky ones. 

Perhaps they were, but that pity, as well, was a blindness, to which whole realities could be constructed. 

The childhood he shared with Cesar was checkered black and tan; no one ever seemed to escape without being touched by some tragedy or another. But they had made it to America, where they had created many businesses. They were still the lucky ones.

He appreciated how his brother didn’t have pity for him. Ignacio found the human condition worthy of contemplation. He didn’t believe in God, but he believed that a man’s actions told a temporary truth. And that was the kicker: truth seemed to be something that a man landed on, like a penny hitting pegs in a carnival game; the landing was telling, while the journey seemed random. People often did wrong because they didn’t have the capacity to analyze their position into reality. Always taken in by the whimsy of wants, living in a make-believe world. 

 

FINAL ASSIGNMENT––Setting as Character

There are multiple, important settings in this novel. For ease of explanation, I’ll share them in chronological order as the story stands at this point in book 1. 

1.Julie Marsh’s unremarkable clapboard home fronts a fissured blacktop road so long it disappears on the lip of the horizon. Surrounded by acres and acres of corn fields which in July are a high tide sea of green with white caps of corn tassels where Julie seeks refuge, hiding in the depths of those stalks, untouchable by anything but the earworms and red rat snakes that squirmed around her, anything to avoid going home. 

Her home is bland, dry as if the juice of existence has been drained from every surface. The kitchen table is scared, the four chairs unmatched and a clock hangs on the wall with hands shaped like corn on the cob. Julie spends a great deal of time avoiding that table, and the holding of hands in prayer at mealtime, and her bed, instead favoring the window inside her room where she kneels looking down the road, wondering how long it takes to get to the horizon. 

 

*A girl’s bed should be a haven, but Julies isn’t even though it has a chenille bedspread chalk white, like powdered snow; the pattern a repeat of flower bouquets, wide ribbons held in the short beaks of clever birds, draping them gracefully around the long stems. It didn’t snow much in Davenport, but when it did, it reminded her of the top layer of a root beer float, airy at first glance; but as she stared and the bubbles popped, unwanted memories rose from every crevasse sullied with an oily particulate—filth was filth especially when it hid within the threads of her bedspread. 

She had to dream that it was snow.

She splayed her fingers wide on the bedspread, feeling the edge of a bird beneath her right hand, and the ribbon beneath her left. 

Her bedspread was a field of pure Alaskan snow, stark white, her room a cavern of ice blue, and her father was a black tree on the edge of her awareness. 

Now, an approaching shade. 

In his right hand a camera. From behind his back, his left hand emerged, cloaked within the fabric of the bear puppet. 

 

                  2. Julies Dodge Wayfarer a winning after being crowned Miss Iowa is another setting/character as she speeds along Route 66 from Davenport Iowa to Long Beach California to escape life with her parents. The Dodge is her chariot to freedom, a prize for being the most beautiful. It shines, the color cornflower blue like Julie’s eyes heats jealously in her mother and pride within her father who believes it’s his gene pool that has brought her fame and he has a right to it, and her. 

 

                  * After being interviewed by the local and state newspapers, Julie felt as though she were floating and wouldn’t be surprised if it was written all over her face this time. What mattered to her was that Little Miss Prairie Bush Clover was now Miss Iowa, and Miss Iowa had won this spanking new Dodge Wayfarer and some money. 

After the event finally ran its course, they were now on their way home on wheels that Julie could call her own—just not yet. 

Her father pulled the car onto the worn dirt ruts that marked their driveway at the side of their one story, clapboard home. 

Her mother grazed her hand over the dash, as if petting a long-haired kitten. “Let’s just sit in the car a little bit longer,” she said, sinking back against the plush fabric seats. She turned her head to smell the seat. “Can you smell that? That’s first run. Fresh. Untouched.” Her mother’s laugh sounded young, and vivacious. “We won’t need to rely on Bobby for our rides, now, will we? No-we-won’t.” With a tickled voice, she seemed to be baby-talking to the car itself.

Julie’s father stared at Julie in the rear-view mirror, as her mother continued to rub her hands all over the interior.

“Yup, there’s a smell to success,” he said, keeping his eyes locked on Julie.

“Oh, I could just die!” her mother shot him a delirious glance. “I could just die! If my heart stopped, bury me in this car!” 

His eyes were still locked on Julie. 

Julie’s dad placed the car key on the middle of the kitchen table. “Get me a beer. I’d say it’s time to celebrate our little windfall here,” he said. Julie’s mom danced over to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of beer, and then fetched the bourbon bottle from under the sink. With the distinctive pop of the beer cap, was the sound of her mom’s proud giggles as the foam spewed from the bottle. Her mom licked the bubbles from her hand before handing the beer to her father. He took a long sip with a smirk on his lips, appraising and measuring. He nodded without saying a word, as if formulating something to himself. “Baby girl, you done good. We spawned us a real winner.” Her mom held up the tumbler as she flopped down on the sofa next to him, and instead of paying either one of them attention, her eyes were gazing out the window at the new car parked in front. 

That car does take Julie across the country for her American Dream, but she ultimately arrives at a place where freedoms go to die. 

 

                  3. The River is a key setting character for both protag and antag in their early life. Each one lives in a ‘dwelling’ denoted mostly because they have roofs, other than that, the walls are made of found materials. Flocks of black birds surf the drafts over lush craggy mountains and river, through plumes of grey/brown smoke from burning trash and cooking fires.

The air in the jungle is heavy with mist and the howls of monkeys, barking dogs, braying donkeys, rise above the constant zing of insects and occasional rumbles of thunder. Ignacio’s shack sits closest to the river which becomes vicious, ugly and deadly when it swells. There's a pronounced water mark along crumbling dirt bricks and rusted siding of his shack. It is shaded by a giant Ficus tree; its sculptural trunk looks like fingers reaching into the earth holding on for dear life. 

                   

*Ignacio was weary of the river; it had a mind of its own, and he didn’t think it was filled with good thoughts, especially when it rose to overflowing. When it burst free, it screamed by the opening of his home, gobbling up everything that was in its path. He and his mamma would scramble out the one window that had a wooden frame—the other was just a gash in the corrugated siding, looking like it was cut with the hooked finger of a can piercer. It was no small feat for his mamma to balance on the splintered ledge of the window; she had a baby inside, a big baby; regardless, she boosted Ignacio up, then handed him their squawking chickens, followed by their bible (which was a dry holder for her floral wedding lasso), then their fattest candle, the matches, and then the machete. 

He asked Cesar what his mamma did when the rains came, when the river flooded the land. He wanted to know what she took with her, what she didn’t want to lose. Cesar just stared at him like he was crazy. “Take? Why would she take anything? We live up where the river can’t touch us. We have a real door and windows on our house. They even keep the animals out. The river? Es nada.”

It had been Ignacio’s experience that the river was never nada. His mother was afraid of it, so he was too. She urged his papa to do something, because to her the river was a hungry monster, eating everything in its way. Papa solved the problem by tying jute ropes to a sturdy arm of the ancient Ficus tree that shaded their porch, so they could climb to the roof and wouldn’t be washed away when the river rose.  

He and Cesar had climbed and swung from the ropes their entire lives. With his eyes closed he could tell by feel where he was on the rope, because its twines had gotten frayed over the years, rubbing against the metal siding of their house. 

He’d told Cesar it scared him; the river, the weakening rope, and the rains that sent he and his mamma scrambling for the roof. Cesar had never been at his house when the storms came, so he didn’t know what it was like. He’d never seen how Ignacio’s mom tied ropes around their waists. Never seen the look in her eyes, nor felt her fingers push beyond the give of skin and muscle of his scrawny shoulders to grip his boney arms, willing her words into every fiber of his being. “Do not take the rope off, ever.” Neither of them knew how to swim. 

On the next morning, Ignacio woke up to the thwack, thwack, thwack of Cesar’s heels banging on a loose piece of siding. Ignacio saw that the river was receding, and he tried to get more comfortable on his spot on the roof. 

“Hombre, callate! No despertar a mi mama,” Ignacio called while resting his eyes.

Cesar didn’t stop. 

Ignacio rubbed his eyes and rolled over to see Cesar balancing the machete in the palm of his hand. Ignacio shut his eyes again. 

Bang. Bang. Bang. Cesar and his noise. A shiver rolled through Ignacio. He stretched and then peered beneath the emerald green fingers of the palm fronds and Ficus leaves that had sheltered he and his mamma as they slept. 

Cesar was still sitting on the edge of the roof. His thwack of his heels was loud, but the birds wouldn’t let his noise overshadow their morning greetings. He was happy to hear them all. He was lucky to have a brother like Cesar, always around, willing to play. 

The rain started again. Cesar began to bang his heels louder on the loose siding. 

“Cesar, ven. Esta lloviendo, You’re gonna get all wet.” 

Cesar got up slowly. 

Ignacio rolled onto his side away from Cesar. 

With the machete still in his hand, Cesar looked downriver and smiled. 

 

4.Long Beach Ca is a character, a backdrop for the decades of change from being a navy town with its own prison on Terminal Island, to a lost city, to a thriving port city. The downtown is like a hooker, a little too dolled up, eyes furtive in search of something better. Better is the Peninsula, and Belmont Heights, where the affluent live and the kids of those affluent families are driven to Signal Hill, the main setting character of the story, to take their driver training classes.

                  5. Signal Hill, known as Porcupine Hill, looks like a slowly shivering rodent; the nodding donkey’s another name for the oil derricks are constantly dipping down and rearing up filling the air with a whine of rusted wheels, of cables clanging, and engines moaning. The air is heavy, the ground is wet, thick with sludge, chemicals and secrets. 

 

* He fished out another cigarillo, before lighting it with a match—and he puffed it hard. He heard Romero cursing, so he rolled down the window. 

“Keep your voice low.”

“I slipped,” Romero said begrudgingly, putting a cigarette to his lips, fumbling his hand into his pocket for a match. Ignacio then glanced over at the scattered oil derricks: the nodding donkeys that squeaked and clanged—eternally nosing down and braying up.

The sound was like a kid’s swing lulling empty near a graveyard. 

On the northeast slope of Signal Hill, the squeak and groan from the derricks coupled the toilet plunger sound of Romero’s boots, sucking away from the slimy surface of the weepy, oozing ground. Feliz became antsy along the backseat, peeking his head past Ignacio and near the crack of the slightly open window, watching Romero as he clambered out of a hole he just finished digging. 

Ignacio snuffed his latest cigarillo in the ashtray on the dash, crushing it against the narrow grate until the tip of his finger touched the metal. 

Romero smacked against the hood, and Feliz’s ears shot forward, lurching toward the window again. Ignacio watched Romero grab the Buick’s gunsight ornament to keep from slipping under the front end of the vehicle. 

“Ah, por el amor de Dios,” Romero said, now wrestling what was inside the trunk, before losing his footing again. Ignacio heard the distinctive gushing swack! of a heavy load landing in the oily mud. Romero gripped the body under the arms, and dragged it over to the hole, before dumping it. 

Feliz started to whine and swipe at the car window with his paws. 

“Calmate perro,” whispered Ignacio, pulling Feliz down onto the seat. He pressed his crutch against the passenger door and leaned way over to reach and turn the key in the ignition, so they would be ready to leave as soon as the hole was filled.

 

6. Signal Hill is where Cesar Ixtle puts The Brother’s Club; his least forward-facing business, it’s a whorehouse where he is king and anything is possible. (Historically Signal Hill has been the highest point on the California coast used by the Indians to signal tribes up and down the coast. When oil was discovered, a seedier element moved in as the various oil companies staked their claims. It’s been a tinder box, derricks exploding, catching fire, maiming, killing workers and innocents a like. In 1954 even an Air Force fighter jet crashed into Signal Hill, killing the pilot and 6 on the ground.) But back to our tale, Signal Hill is where everything bad happens. Signal Hill is where Cesar’s office is. Signal Hill is where Brother’s Club is. Signal Hill is where Cesar eventually houses Julie. Signal Hill is where Ignacio hides Pepper Cherry (Book 2) and Signal Hill is where all the bodies are buried. 

 

*Romero parked his car across from Brother’s Club, staring at that neon sign above the low pink cinderblockbuilding. The place hadn’t changed at all in the seven years he’d been employed. 

Conscripted was a better way to put it. 

“Indentured,” he murmured, settling it with that. He leaned onto the steering wheel with tense shoulders and a stiffness in his neck.  

Romero Aguilar’s life of crime started after he lost his virginity, just shy of his eighteenth birthday. His father, Benito, took him to a whorehouse on the outskirts of Signal Hill—rather the lowest hem of it.  

The full moon was rolling west that midnight, as Romero and his father drank tequila and warm Modelos, watching men scurry in and out of Brother’s Club. After Romero’s forth beer and third shot of tequila, he remarked how much the splotchy pink paint of the door reminded him of a spread pussy; he’d seen plenty of photos, but this was finally an entrance to the real thing. Voluptuously rosada profundo—deep and silky warm, tantalizing, and mysterious. His father sniggered, too, muttering, “See, this is how you get your balls to drop off, for real.” He went ruddy faced, keeling from his laughter like a kick to the gut—and Romero felt infected by the same energy, letting laughter claw its way up through his parched throat. 

“No, it’s true!” his father wheezed in laughter. “It’s true!”   

Out of the car, his father pushed him up the walkway, and together they stumbled through those doors.

Romero was intercepted by a few women. One brought him a beer. Romero remembered at one point, his father turning his back away, going over to talk to a man wearing a light green Mexican wedding shirt, the ones with the bone buttons that were like mini juggling pins. The get-up looked comical, out of place, since they were usually worn at celebrations. But was this not also a big celebration? He took another sip of his beer, closing his eyes, to envision a birthday party of sorts, where he was the guest of honor—a piñata of a naked woman, candy falling from between her legs. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, trying not to be too unsettled by the serious look of the man who went on to usher him from that reception area down a hallway to a closed door. The serious man opened it, and then casually snapped his finger before making a pointing gesture into the room. He left Romero without saying a word.

The room was painted red, a sort of deep red that crept toward Romero, wrapping around him like a cat. Heading over toward the bed, his cock felt erect enough that he had to adjust it in his dress pants away from the harsh metal of the zipper. From his head on down, was a heaviness, an ache in that virile region. 

The bed was right there—smelling of musk, of sweat, and of Palo Santo.

The alcohol now made him feel as though he were floating over to the bed, a mattress that groaned under the weight of his knee, the tight noise of flimsy metal springs rubbing into themselves—the florid rattan headboard scraping the wall, as he crawled toward it. 

The door opened with a spectacular silhouette: An hourglass figure, not just one hour, curvy enough to last at least eight. This was it. 

The door closed…(skipping ahead)

As he followed the man, Romero dragged his tongue through his mouth; he could still taste her and recall in a broken snapshot memory of her lying on the bed, pillows under her head and shoulders, legs open, and the feel of her large breasts in his hands, and her dainty fingers around his stiff carajo. 

The man with the botas stopped in front of another door and knocked. As the door opened, white light cut into the hallway, making Romero shield his eyes, as he stepped through.  

The room was too white, and in the quiet he became aware of the ringing in his ears. He wasn’t sure if the other man in the room was moving, or if it was the shifting black spots behind his lids. He pushed his palms against his eyes and the darkness became tinged with a hazy red. 

The room wavered then stilled, allowing him a second to glance at the man who trembled in the corner. The man was weeping inconsolably. 

Romero rubbed his eyes, now dry and aching from the thickness of the air, and the oppressiveness of the light. He looked at the floor near the man’s two-toned shoes, untied. Something about the shoes made Romero look higher up the man’s leg, how his pants were improperly buttoned below a silver oval buckle with an A in the center—the belt his mother bought for his father’s birthday present, when Romero was eight years old. 

Now, his father’s face was pale, tears profusely streaming down his cheeks; his bloodshot eyes held Romero’s for the slimmest of moments. The air was like a fist in Romero’s lungs. He stared at the two high windows that were painted shut, craving immensely the fresh air that was kept outside.

The door opened again, and a figure tilted in headfirst, before hurling its lower body into the room. Romero couldn’t tell what he was looking at, until it became clear that it wasn’t a creature, but some deformed man on crutches, who continued swinging in and across the room in a twisted, but skillful manner—mechanically clicking and clacking, before taking up his spot beside the upholstered chair in the corner opposite to Romero’s father. The deformed man seemed to perpetually adjust himself, as though never finding a comfortable enough way to get situated. Then following in was a man whose face had a doped-up calm to it. 

Romero’s father whimpered loud like a child, causing a shiver to straighten Romero’s spine. 

The man who had just entered, lowered himself onto the upholstered chair, having a noxious air about him that somehow claimed ownership upon everything.  

The twisted man beside him stared at Romero; the irises of his eyes were so brown that they were almost black, giving a depthless, almost inhuman quality; his eyes then seemed to assess Romero like how a butcher appraises a cut of beef. 

Romero gave a slight questioning utterance from his throat, and it seemed clear that none of them even heard it, or at the very least gave mind to it. 

In the hallway, doors opened and shut. 

On the street, a car backfired with two pops. Romero held his breath, as the man in the chair opened the one drawer in the utility stand.            

“Hey,” the voice was soft, yet also somehow sharp at the same time. “Do you know what this is?” he asked,holding a gun in the palm of his hand.

Romero stared at it, and then his throat felt like sandpaper when he swallowed whatever vestige of saliva he had left. 

His eyes trailed over to the corner where his father was slumped, and the room felt like it was tilting more askew than before. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his father’s face, so he kept his eyes trained on the A of the silver belt buckle. 

“…Hello?” asked the man, in a drowsy, even tone, before making a loud click from his mouth, as if to a pet.

“It’s a… gun, sir,” Romero said. 

Romero watched the man pop the magazine out then shove it in. The man polished the pistol with a crisp light blue handkerchief, holding it out toward Romero, with the handkerchief slotted between his palm and the steel. 

“Hey.” He waved Romero in with the gun. “Come here.”

Romero glanced at his father; the fabric of his father’s trousers began to darken from peeing himself. 

“Mm-m,” the man quickly shook his head. “Everything is nice and fine.” The sharp glare the man gave seemed to order Romero not to look at his father.

Romero stepped closer to the upholstered seat.  

“This,” he sniffled “is for you. Hardly been broken in.” His voice had a breathy put-on friendliness to it. “Hey,” he waved the gun again, twitching his eyebrows into a sudden frown, before softening again. “Here take it.” He laughed and again waved him in. “Come on, take it.” As he handed it over to Romero, he then gave a laugh while he was biting his tongue, short little puffs of air escaping through the thin gaps of teeth. 

The gun felt heavy in Romero’s hand. 

The man sniffled and wiped the back of his hand over his nose. “Ignacio… Door.” He nodded at the twisted man. “Guzman should be there now.” Romero stared as the twisted man made his way.

“I know you thinking… Why order a cripple around like that, hm?”

Romero couldn’t even tell if he shook his own head in response.

“You thinking… what kind of cold, uh, guy would do that. Well, you see Ignacio there…” The man smacked his own chest before pointing at Ignacio. “Nacio got better hands than a palliata. And most of all, he’s my brother—we are…” He looked up at the ceiling. “As equal as it gets. Si?” He loudly asked, jutting his hand forward, and when Ignacio didn’t reply, Romero could only assume the man was simply talking to hear his own voice.  

The man with the crutches kept his attention at the door, before backing up.

Romero’s right wrist started to ache from the weight in his hand. 

Another man entered and shifted from his shoulder a woman onto the floor, whose face was pulverized, open wounds on her enormous breasts—bite marks—and her inner thighs were glistening a slimy red. 

Splotches of blood started flowering on the floor, leaving a bouquet near Romero’s father’s feet, who then doubled over; snot discharged onto his shoes before the pitter pattering of tears. Romero looked from the mess over to the man in the chair. 

The man’s face now looked like it was cut from a tan granite block, and the whites of his eyes were more visible, as he looked over at Romero’s father. Romero could see the fine branches of red veins in one of his eyes.

“Benito… Your father…” he glanced back at Romero and rubbed the bristly hair on his square chin, “…he had a little accident. Apparently Lilia, that’s her name right?” he asked. Ignacio nodded. “…Well, she couldn’t get him going.” The man then allowed a slant on the side of his lips. “Or should I say, couldn’t keep him going. You see, niñito,it’s harder for the pregnant ones. But no worry, she’s not pregnant no more, as you can plainly see.” He gave a toothy smile, and this time a silent laugh, shoulders and chest bouncing, before veiling his face with one palm.

The woman was dumped on the floor next to Benito. Benito fell to his knees, keening like a wild animal.

“Oh, ah Benito, calmate hombre, it happens. It’s what we call… occupational hazard.” He laughed through his teeth again, and then flicked his wrist. “You’ll be fine… You’ll probably be just fine.” He nodded and got up from the chair to crouch on Benito’s level. “See, I like you, Benito,” came the friendly voice again, “And I know… the people will like you. I like you, no te preocupes, hombre. So!” he patted Romero’s father on the shoulder. He stood up and stared down at Romero. “Niñito, you have a choice to make. You can fix this whole problem with that Colt. You get to pick—because I’m in a very-generous-mood. Yeah, you pick… who you kill. You kill her… you’re mine for the duration. If you kill your father…” His lips puckered out in consideration, before he nodded. “You’ll never hear from me again. All that you need to do is pull the trigger. It ain’t that tough; it’s… it is like losing your virginity, ya know?”  

Romero couldn’t breathe. His skull felt hollow, yet his arm and his feet felt chained to the floor. He couldn’t run, nor could he lift his arms from his sides. His fingers gripped the butt of the gun, shaking as he tilted his wrist, aiming at her.

“I know it’s heavy. I know it’s…” the man stared at nothing until he stared intently at Romero again. “…a dose of reality, right?” 

“So, I’ll coach you through it, niñito. You’re so close. Just curl your finger… squeeze it like a big snake curling tight, around…” 

Romero lost himself in thought—instead of seeing her, he envisioned the snake curling tighter.

“More than that!” He gave a dry chuckle. “Ah, this is something else, like… teaching a baby how to walk, eh? You brain her, yeah. You brain her and I be your new tio. Tio Cesar Ixtli. Feliz cumpleaños, sobrino.” His whispers sounded so loud in that room. “Happy birthday, ne-phew! Squeezing tight is all you need to…”

Bang!

And then the sequence of events proceeded just like they had when he’d left the first room, disjointed and dreamlike; and Romero wondered if the broken sequence would ever play out normal again.

Now in his car, he wasn’t sure how long he waited there watching the neon light sizzle on and off. 

[Mark Goldberg]

1. STORY STATEMENT:

 As an institutionalized woman fights against forced sterilization, three other women across different time periods pursue parallel journeys involving disability, heredity, and reproductive freedom:

• In 1927, Lily must break away from her sanitarium and gain agency over her own life.
   
• In 1973, Bev must save her abortion clinic and protect the rights of a young woman with Down syndrome.
   
• In 2011, Hana must come to terms with family secrets and her genetic heritage to decide her future as a wife and mother.

 

2. ANTAGONISTS:

• 1927:  Lily’s mother-in-law, Mother Stark, who has stolen Lily’s dowry and imprisoned her in a sanitarium after giving birth to a Mongoloid child. Mother Stark is cold, calculating, and Machiavellian. She thinks she is on the side of righteousness, doing whatever it takes to protect her family’s standing and fortune. She recognizes Lily as both a financial savior to her family and its biggest threat.
   
• 1973:  Nicholas, a rich and cocky doctor advocating that a young woman with Down syndrome receive an abortion and sterilization. He and fellow doctor Bev clash on how best to support this woman, as well as on funding and management of the clinic and how to protect it against violent threats from the anti-abortion movement.
    
• 2011:  Hana’s fiancée-to-be, Scott, whose preoccupation with his own needs prevents Hana from moving their relationship forward and forging a future together. While Scott is the hero of his own story -- and his challenges caring for two developmentally disabled brothers are both laudable and engrossing -- he nevertheless serves as a roadblock to Hana in her journey of growth. In addition, a second but no less important antagonist for Hana is her father, whose steadfast secrecy about their history in Japan blocks her from understanding their past and her own genetic heritage. These two men continually thwart Hana as she seeks to discover and come to terms with her status as a Japanese outcaste and the risk of having developmentally disabled children with Scott.

 

3. TITLES:

• Preferred title: “Three Generations,” taken from a famous Supreme Court quote that is key to the book’s surprise ending, that “three generations of imbeciles are enough.” It is also a play on the structure of the novel, which follows three parallel stories from three different generations of women.
    
• Other potential titles: “Times of Strength” or “The Times of Ascent” (from a recurring phrase in the book: “savor the ascent”)

 

4. GENRE & COMPARABLES:

• Genre: Historical fiction and multigenerational fiction with parallel narratives
   
• Most relevant comparable: “The Hours” by Michael Cunningham (1998)
    
• Other potential comparable: "North Woods" by Daniel Mason (2023), “a sweeping novel about a single house in the woods of New England, told through the lives of those who inhabit it across the centuries”

 

 

5. HOOK LINE / LOGLINE (core wound and primary conflict)

 

In the shadow of a seminal Supreme Court case about eugenics and forced sterilization, a new mother in 1927 flees a sanitarium after being locked away for delivering a Mongoloid baby; a doctor in 1979 fights to protect a young woman with Down syndrome brought to her abortion clinic; and a graduate student in 2011 navigates the complexities of love, heritage, and genetic testing.

 

6. OTHER MATTERS FOR CONFLICT:

Protagonist’s Inner Conflict:

• 1927:  Lily must come to terms with the loss of her baby and how to rebuild her life. Also, about her relationship with the husband who appears to have abandoned her, but whom she relentlessly gives the benefit of the doubt.
    
• 1979:  Bev must come to terms with her biased view of abortion (that she supports the right, but is personally against it), and learn to understand that some cases are so nuanced as to defy clear answers.
    
• 2011:  Hana must decide whether she is really ready to start a life with Scott, or whether she has been using him to help fill the void of her mother’s absence.

 

Secondary Conflict Involving the Social Environment:

• 1927:  Lily battles the mores of the times in which a mother is blamed for giving birth to a disabled child, as well as the Eugenics Movement, which would sterilize a woman for such circumstances.
    
• 1979:  In the recent aftermath of Roe v. Wade, Bev must deal with the heightened turmoil around abortion and the increasingly violent anti-abortion movement.
    
• 2011:  Hana must come to terms with outdated views about the Japanese outcaste class and their surprising effect on contemporary society.

 

7. SETTING:

 

• 1927:  Most of the action takes place at the U.S. Supreme Court, which at the time was housed in the Old Senate Chambers of the U.S. Capitol. The hallway, the courtroom, and an administrative office in the back provide fertile ground for action. The other major setting is St. Michael’s, a high-end public sanitarium with an exquisite and sprawling rural campus overlooking the Potomac and Anacostia Rivers in Washington, D.C. This college campus-like facility is truly one of a kind, and is based on the historic and revered St. Elizabeth’s Hospital. Other settings that play major roles to catalyze scenes include a strict boarding house with a colorful proprietress; the National Press Club; the upper-class home of the Marshal of the Supreme Court, complete with a garden and small cemetery; and Mount Ashford, a grand southern estate in Alexandria, Virginia.
     
• 1979:  The two key settings are a twice-bombed abortion clinic in northern Manhattan, and it’s “pretty older sister,” the Northern Manhattan Medical Center (based on Columbia Presbyterian Hospital), a well-funded research hospital a few blocks away. Other important settings include Mayfair, a high-end institution for the developmentally disabled on the bequeathed estate of a deceased shipping magnate, and its polar opposite, a run-down shithole of a mental institution located on an old abandoned lot on Long Island. Several important scenes also take place at a seedy bar in downtown Manhattan.
     
• 2011:  The majority of the action takes place at various locations across Cornell University, right after the devastating 2011 Tokyo earthquake and tsunami. A few flashbacks occur in Tokyo, while action toward the end of the story shifts to a suburban home in Northern Virginia, which used to be part of the 1927 estate of the Marshal of the U.S. Supreme Court (the current suburban home is close to the Marshal’s private cemetery, which is of significance)

 

[tlanzo]

Assignment One 

Story Statement 

 

In a vibrant New York City, Reese navigates the tumultuous journey from childhood to adulthood, where her quest for genuine and pure love is both a guiding light and unstable storm. As she grapples with the complexities of her relationships, and the echoes of her upbringing, she finds herself caught in a never ending cycle of familiar patterns that challenge her understanding of love and self-worth. Through heartache and self-discovery, Reese learns that true growth comes not from escaping her past, but embracing it, ultimately forging her own path towards the authentic connection she longs for. 

 

Assignment Two

The Antagonist 

 

The antagonist can represent the protagonist's tumultuous relationships, particularly with men like Dylan and Ken who convey toxic behaviors and emotional manipulation. 

 

Dylan seeks control in the relationship and wants to dominate the protagonist’s life anyway he can. He feels having a successful relationship is about gaining power and keeping it maintained throughout using manipulation and jealousy to keep Reese stuck without independence or security. He tries to tell her who to interact with and deficits by projecting his insecurities onto her, making her feel guilty for his behavior which in reality, is his fault. 

 

Dylan’s background lacks emotional maturity and tends to be possessive which comes from his own insecurities. His controlling ways show deeper issues within himself related to his upbringing and past relationships. He struggles with trusting Reese and projects his feelings on to her constantly. He is quick to anger because of this issue and resorts to threatening her when he feels his power over her slipping away. Dylan also struggles to take responsibility for his actions and wants Reese to pay the consequences instead making him possess characteristics of an antagonist. 

 

Ken represents the past that Reese is trying to move on from but finds it difficult because he keeps re-entering her life. His goals are only around reconnecting in a sexual relationship while ignoring the emotional baggage they share. Ken has a habit of being emotionally unavailable and irresponsible when it comes to other’s feelings. His irresponsibility is also shown in his involvement with criminal activities which have impacted his relationships. 

 

Ken’s approach to relationships shows how selfish he can be. He seeks physical connections with no regard for the emotional consequences that can come from them. Especially for the protagonist. His actions and how he deals with her is seen as opportunistic, as he always re-enters her life when it’s beneficial to him. 

 

Both of these characters have antagonistic tactics, making the protagonist’s journey of self-discovery and independence a challenging one. Their behaviors and how they treat her creates conflict internally for Reese while she is still trying to learn who she is while wanting healthier relationships in love. Her struggling against their actions delays her growth and she eventually realizes that she deserves better than what they’re offering her. 

 

Assignment Three 

Breakout Title 

 

“The Merry-Go-Round” 

Meaning: A continuous cycle of activities or events, especially when perceived as having no purpose or producing no result.

 

“The Merry-Go-Round” represents the cyclical nature of Reese’s relationships and emotional patterns. Just as the ride goes round and round, she finds herself drawn to the same man in different bodies. It symbolizes her tendency to revisit the same mistakes and lessons she needs to confront. Reese feels like she’s on a never ending ride that while it can be a fun and joyous experience, it signifies the illusion of movement without making real progress. Every time she gets close in her pursuit of love, she gets stuck in the same emotional patterns, going in circles rather than moving forward in her journey. 

 

 A merry-go-round can also convey nostalgia for Reese’s childhood, a time where understanding of love and relationships were innocent and more simple. The connection to her past can serve as a reminder of what she longs for, contrasting with the complications of her adult relationships. It symbolizes her desire to reclaim that innocence and find true love. It also embodies moments of joy and escapism. In the midst of the hard times, it represents a sense of happiness and the need to escape the harsh realities of her life. But it's only a temporary solution and prevents her from facing her issues head on. 

 

In conclusion, “The Merry-Go-Round” serves as a complicated symbol in Reese’s story that outlines her struggles with repetition, illusion of progress, nostalgia, and the search for joy amidst the difficulty growing up. 

 

Assignment Four 

Genre and Comparables 

 

“The Merry-Go-Round is portrayed as a Bildungsroman better known as a coming of age novel. It explains changes the protagonist goes through as she grows from adolescent to adult and how what she goes through makes her who she is in the present day. Two comparables that can be similar to my novel are “The Twelve Lives of Samuel Hawley” by Hannah Tinti and “Sex and the City” by Candace Bushnell. 

 

Why those compare: 

While “The Twelve Lives of Samuel Hawley” is not exactly a coming of age story, it explores the deep history of relationships and the impact of the past and personal growth. The novel shows elements of a Bildungsroman with a narrative that combines the protagonist’s life’s lessons with his daughter’s coming of age journey.  Reese’s story processes the themes of love, sacrifice, wounds of the past, making both stories similar because they both emphasize the complications of relationships and the lessons learned from them, making them relatable to young women paving their own paths. 

 

The second comparable, “Sex and the City” by Candace Bushnell focuses on the complexities of relationships, friendships, sex and personal growth within an urban setting. Both novels are set in New York City which serves as a backdrop for both protagonists and influences choices and lifestyles. Both works are also character driven, portraying the lives of not only the main characters but their girlfriends as well. They show different perspectives on love and life from each character. They also both have a personal narrative tone to them which can create a deeper connection to readers. What can set this novel apart from Bushnell’s work is Reese breaks the fourth wall by directly addressing the audience which creates an intimacy and makes the readers feel more invested in her journey. 

 

Assignment Five 

Hookline 

 

In a world where love feels like a relentless roller coaster, a young woman grapples with the ghosts of her past. Constantly torn between past relationships where some of them pull her back in, and the future where she sees herself finding her dream man,  she must embark on a journey of self-discovery and true healing so that she can finally get off the ride she’s been on for half of her life. 

 

Assignment Six

Conflicts

 

The Protagonist experiences a range of external and internal conflicts throughout the story. Here are examples of primary, secondary, and inner conflicts Reese faces. 

 

Primary Conflicts: 

Her romantic relationships and struggling with her feelings for different men including three main staple relationships in her life. Each relationship presents  different challenges and emotional baggage. Reese also struggles with self-identity as she navigates these relationships and is trying to find who she truly is outside of her romantic connections. 

 

Secondary Conflicts: 

The protagonist’s family dynamics plays a part as she has to deal with the complex relationships with her sisters and the death of her mother which adds to the weight of her emotions because she feels neglected and misunderstood by them at times. While her emotions weigh heavy,  her career aspirations come into play when she faces disappointment with her educational and career goals especially when she doesn’t get into art school, making her question her adequacy. 

 

Inner Conflicts:

Reese deals with having trust issues after having rocky experiences with certain men which causes her to have a hard time trusting others and herself in relationships. This leads her to have fears of being vulnerable, another inner conflict. She is anxious about opening up to someone new in the fear of getting hurt again and the ride not being able to stop. Reese’s fear is she won’t be able to find someone with whom she can stand still with. 

 

Hypothetical Scenario:

 

Reese receives a text from Ken whom she thought would never see again. He recently got out of prison and he wants to meet up. The text from him is a trigger for her because of the work she put in to move on from him after years of mixed signals. Now, all of the feelings she thought were gone have been drugged up all over again. In receiving this text from him, Reese feels a mixture of excitement and dread. The excitement comes from the thrill of reconnecting with an old flame but dread because she knows the trouble it comes with. 

 

Secondary Conflict Scenario: 

A secondary conflict involving a social environment can be sketched around the protagonist’s relationships with friends and family. Specifically in the context around her love life and pressures of societal expectations. 

 

In this scenario, the protagonist is trying to balance her friendships and family while dealing with the turmoil of being in a tumultuous relationship with Dylan which she doesn’t really want them to know about. Reese doesn’t do a great job at hiding it and her friends and family notice a change in her. They start to express their concerns telling her she deserves better and to reconsider her relationship as it has become emotionally manipulating and controlling. Conflict arises when the protagonist feels torn between her loyalty to her boyfriend and her friends and family who only want the best for her. While she appreciates them looking out for her well-being, it only makes her alienate herself further from them so they don’t know how miserable she has been in her relationship. Soon, Reese must face the reality of the situation and see that it’s never going to change and her friends and family's opinions will soon cloud her mind while making the decision she knows she has to make but has to come to the realization on her own. This scenario shows the struggles of balancing personal choices with influence of loved ones creating a foundation for character development and the impact of dynamics on personal decisions. 

 

Assignment Seven

Setting

 

The setting of the narrative unfolds across various locations that are significant, each contributing to the emotional and character development. Below is a detailed breakdown highlighting unique views making these settings cinematic and engaging. 

 

Amusement Park: The story begins with a metaphor of an amusement park, which represents the thrill and excitement along with the anxiety of dating. This setting is colorful, filled with the sounds of laughter and screams from the ride, colorful bright lights which captures the excitement and fear of new relationships. As the protagonist gets on the metaphorical ride of dating, the ups and downs imitates the physical feeling of a carousel, making this a dynamic opening scene. 

 

Central Park: A typical first date location, Central Park is represented as an escape in a city that is constantly bustling. The distinction between the concealed bench where deep and intimate conversations take place and the park surrounding it creates a connection that is private. The imagery of nature mixed with the narrator’s nervousness adds emotion to the scene. Also,  when she goes to prom at a restaurant located in the park with the same person she shares these same memories with, it serves as a sense of symbolism in their relationship. 

 

Home Environment: With each move the protagonist makes in her life, the apartment she lives in at certain points in her life, whether it’s the apartment she shared with her sisters in Harlem, the off campus apartment she shared with her roommates in college, the basement apartment she lived in with her father in Brooklyn, the project apartment she shared with her sister’s mother, and the Bronx apartment she now shares with her highschool best friend, it serves as a background of comfort as well as tension. Whether it’s the familiar details such as the comfort of being in bed with someone she has feelings for or arguments and conflicts that take place, in this personal space, the narrator’s feelings are intensified. 

 

Graduation Day: Graduation represents a transition in the protagonist's life as she ends one journey and starts another. Each graduation particularly highschool brings an celebratory atmosphere and is filled with proud families embracing other graduates. The joy of graduating mixed with the sadness of missing her mother adds a bittersweet cinematic moment to the scene. 

 

Herkimer County Community College: The college setting is depicted as both exciting but scary as the protagonist navigates the campus which is filled with new faces creates a sense of confusion. The setting can be captured through classrooms of diverse individuals, noisy hallways and the cafeteria. The struggle of trying to fit in portraying her self-discovery journey. 

 

Prom Night: This setting is glamorous depicting the protagonist beautifully dressed in her light purple dress. The place where the prom is held is vibrant, beautifully decorated while music is playing loudly. Everyone is expressing their happiness through laughter and dance in this scene and shows an expected joy for the protagonist while she deals with internal struggles, highlighting her insecurities. 

 

Train Ride to Utica: The ride up to college shows a transition physically and mentally for the protagonist. The changing of landscape outside of the window of the train shows a shift in her life. The quiet train ride gives her room to have self-reflections allowing the audience to connect with her on her new journey. 

 

William’s Apartment: The intimate setting of his apartment symbolizes a new start. The decor, the view of the bridge from the window and the cozy atmosphere creates a safe space for her and him to explore their relationship further. The setting shows romantic moments blooming while also taking risks with emotions. 

 

Cafe and Restaurants: Various dining experiences are portrayed throughout the novel and serve as backgrounds for connections. The lively ambience, with laughter and conversations throughout each restaurant is shown while the protagonist deals with struggles within herself is described in rich detail. 

 

Each of these settings shows different emotions and themes while providing backgrounds for the character’s journey. The locations, character development, and emotions felt in these moments creates a page to screen moment that deepens the novel's deepness and impact.

[Carly Diaz]

Assignment 1: Story Statement

Celine must figure out who killed her best friend and avenge her death. 

Assignment 2: Antagonist

The antagonist in this story is an introverted 19 year-old named Martin Peters. He is pale and lanky, with jet-black hair and dark brown eyes. He rarely sleeps, and is distrustful of technology, the government, and society as a whole. We first meet him in the main character’s bedroom, drinking cheap beer and smoking cigarettes out the window with her as she mourns the death of her best friend, Alyssa. At this point, Martin and the main character, Celine, are lovers, and he seems to be the only person in the world that can understand the complex feelings of grief, anger, and loneliness that she is experiencing. Martin’s role in the novel is to constantly push Celine past her boundaries and make her embrace the dark truths about herself that she’s tried hard to ignore (ie. the fact that she is secretly happy that Alyssa is dead and that she may have played a larger role in her death than initially realized). Martin  sees Celine as being the “same” as him– dark and misunderstood in a world of phonies, and he wants her to accept this part of herself. His unwavering devotion to Celine, even as he kills and maims others, prompts sympathy from the readers.

Assignment 3: Breakout Title

My Alyssa

Killing Alyssa

Death in the City of Angels

Assignment 4: Smart Comparables

Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls by Lynn Weingarten - Extremely similar premise and themes. A girl is investigating the suspicious death of her best friend, whom she’d had a recent falling out with. Told in first-person, using flashbacks to reveal more about the characters, and the narrator has her own dark secrets, too. Close examination of female friendship.

The End of Everything by Megan Abbot - Similar premise and themes, although the MC is slightly younger (13 y/o vs 18 y/o), the target audience is still adult. A girl is investigating the disappearance of her best friend, and unravels secrets that make her wonder how well they really knew each other. Exploration of girlhood, friendship.

Assignment 5: Hook

Alyssa Woods is on the verge of becoming one of Hollywood’s biggest stars when she’s found lying dead at the bottom of a staircase just weeks before her eighteenth birthday. Her childhood best friend, a total nobody, will do whatever it takes to uncover the secrets surrounding her death and avenge her murder.

Assignment 6: Inner Conflict & Secondary Conflict

Inner Conflict: Celine struggles to move past Alyssa’s death, partly because of the fact that their friendship was in shambles when she died. Celine loved Alyssa more than anyone, and her whole life revolved around supporting her. But once Alyssa got a taste of fame, she essentially dropped Celine for her new Hollywood friends. This abandonment led to Celine trying to take her own life, inadvertently triggering a series of events that would end with Alyssa’s death. Now, with Alyssa gone, Celine must grapple with grief, resentment, jealousy, and most of all, guilt.

Secondary Conflict: Celine has always hated Alyssa’s ex-boyfriend, Jack, because he treated her like garbage. That anger intensifies when she learns that Alyssa and Jack had made a sex-tape earlier in their relationship, and that Jack had blackmailed her with it in the weeks before she died. Jack may not be the killer, but he sure is guilty as hell, and deserves to be punished.

Assignment 7: Setting

Set in Hollywood, CA, the novel takes us to beaches, boardwalks, marinas, L.A. nightclubs, a Halloween festival in Calabasas, ritzy mansions in Hollywood Hills, dingy pubs on the outskirts of town, and even to the set of Alyssa’s TV show, Prom Queen. 

“Rhea’s house was a work of modern art nestled deep in Hollywood Hills. She whipped through the neighborhood streets far faster than she should’ve, flying by perfectly green grass, manicured yards with palm-trees lining the roads, and mansion after mansion, most of them behind big remote access gates made of iron or wood.”

Flashbacks to Alyssa and Celine’s highschool years, primarily set in the suburbs or on the beach, create a strong contrast to Alyssa’s stardom, where we have scenes depicting elaborate parties in clubs with ice-luges, cocaine, and dancers hanging from hoops in the ceiling. 

“Alyssa and I laid in the sand.

Alyssa laid flat, arms and legs spread out like a starfish. The top string of her bikini was untied, tucked into her boobs. Alyssa wanted no inch of her skin untouched by the sun. I laid beside her on my side, knees tucked up to my stomach, tracing shapes on my towel. I figured I was getting burnt. I wrapped one arm around my waist. I curled my knees in closer.”

“I turned my attention back to the pink hoop girl. Her arms and legs spread to every corner of the hoop, and she threw her head back, spinning slowly and soaking in the lights, the eyes of the audience, the thumping bass. She dropped down so she was sitting on the bottom of the hoop like a swing. She spun faster, arched her back, and I saw every inch of her body. Her strong legs and arms, her flexed back muscles, her waist –small but sturdy, with washboard abs. Then she dropped again, hanging from the bottom of the hoop by her hands. People in the audience clapped and whistled over the music. It lasted just one rotation. Then she swung herself back up with some-what of a pull-up, throwing her stomach over the bottom rung, and then grabbing the sides of the hoop and pulling herself up further so she was once again sitting on the rung. I tried to imagine myself up there. I was thin, like her, but ghoulishly so, with no athleticism. I imagined myself, hanging onto the bottom of the hoop with my scrawny arms, trying to pull myself up, but it was too hard, and my hands were clammy, and then I slipped. I imagined the freefall, I savored it. I saw my head crash into the stage floor, my skull cratered, blood gushing out of my eyes, mouth, nose, and ears. The lights dancing over my skinny dead waist, the neon thigh-high socks with the cutesy bow at the top, legs unmoving beneath it. What a show.”

The season plays a big role as well, with most of the novel taking place in Fall, and one major scene happening on Halloween (costumes, Halloween decorations, leaves changing color, etc).

“At the entrance, Jack buys my ticket even though I half-heartedly offer to pay my own way, and then we officially enter Haunted Nights.

A Ferris wheel lit up red spins sinisterly in the distance. Six-foot long ghosts hang from lamp posts and blow in the wind. I smell a petting zoo I cannot yet see. A child runs blindly in front of us, holding a stick of pink cotton candy bigger than her face. After passing us, she turns and scans the crowd, looking for her parents. Pink crusts of cotton candy are stuck around the corners of her lips, and her mouth. Her eyes look so solemn, I almost suggest we stop to make sure she’s alright. But I’m still gripping Jack’s arm, and he pulls us past her. I hear a woman call out, “Piper!” and turn back to look again at the girl just in time to see her running into her mothers’ arms, her wild blonde hair flying behind her. The swirl of cotton candy lays face down in the dirt beside them.”

Lastly, the novel contains several scenes set by the ocean; in sailboats, swimming, or just walking along the beach. The ocean is, for the most part, a serene place and its beauty and vastness reminds Celine of some of the more savory memories with her dead friend, Alyssa. 

“I feel closest to Alyssa here. Maybe because she always reminded me so much of the sun. Shining and bright, inescapable, but at the same time, always out of reach. I pick up a shell and toss it into the water. It skips twice, and then sinks. I keep walking the shoreline, I walk all morning and into the early afternoon.”

 

[Renée Ryan]

A1 – Story Statement:

A sixteen-year-old runs away to find her estranged father at the iconic music festival in her last hope for a family after her mother’s sudden death.

A2 – Antagonist:

The antagonist in my novel is multi-layered, a combination of forces that stand in opposition to Emma Joy's goals and growth. Here’s how the antagonistic forces play out:

1. Chase (Her Father)

• While Chase isn’t a villain, his absence and inability to fulfill the role of a stable parent represent one of Emma Joy’s greatest emotional struggles. He symbolizes her longing for connection, and his elusiveness challenges her idealized view of family.

• His charm and promises create hope but also threaten to let her down, forcing Emma Joy to grapple with whether he can truly be the father she needs.

2. Sheriff Mosby

• Although Mosby cares for Emma Joy and ultimately becomes a source of support, he acts as an obstacle to her freedom and quest to find her father. His relentless pursuit forces her to navigate challenges and confront truths about safety, loyalty, and love.

• His presence complicates Emma Joy’s journey, representing the structure and rules she’s trying to escape.

3. Emma Joy Herself

• Emma Joy’s internal struggles, including her anger, guilt, and idealized perceptions of her father, act as an internal antagonist. Her impulsive decisions and lies often create additional hurdles, making her own growth the ultimate battle.

4. The Journey and Circumstances

• The physical journey itself—limited time, lack of resources, and encounters with dangerous or unsettling people—creates external antagonistic forces that challenge Emma Joy’s resolve and resilience.

• The realities of navigating 1969 as a vulnerable young girl add tension and stakes to her quest.

5. The Passage of Time

• The ticking clock of the five-day timeline is an ever-present antagonist, heightening the stakes of her journey. It pressures Emma Joy to act impulsively, increasing the risk of failure.

The antagonistic forces in my novel are layered, with external and internal struggles blending to shape Emma Joy’s path to self-discovery and redefine her understanding of family.

A3 – Title Options

Road to Woodstock

Chasing the Last Note

Notes in the Mud

A4 – Comparable Novels

Other Birds: A Novel by Sarah Addison Allen

Other Birds resonates with stories about loss, family, and finding unexpected connections, much like Emma Joy’s journey.

The Lost Bookshop by Evie Woods

It focuses on rediscovering the past and finding one’s place in the world, paralleling Emma Joy’s search for her father and her own identity.

The Invisible Hour by Alice Hoffman

Hoffman's signature blend of magical realism, strong female protagonists, and exploration of family ties mirrors the essence of Emma Joy’s journey.

A5 – Hook Line/Summary:

Set in August 1969, sixteen-year-old Emma Joy Ryder sets out from Woodstock, Georgia, to Woodstock, New York, to find her estranged father at the iconic music festival, her last hope for a family after her mother’s sudden death.

Summary:

In the sweltering summer of 1969, amidst the echoes of a nation in turmoil, sixteen-year-old Emma Joy Ryder embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will lead her from the dusty roads of Woodstock, Georgia to the legendary fields of Woodstock, New York.

After the sudden death of her mother, Emma Joy finds herself alone in the world. Determined to avoid the fate of foster care, she sets out on a quest to find her long-lost father, who abandoned his family ten years ago. With only five days to cover the daunting 925-mile journey, Emma Joy faces not only the physical challenges of the road but also the relentless pursuit of Sheriff Mosby, a family friend and love interest of her mother, who is determined to bring her back to safety. Adding to the complexity is the unexpected presence of her mother's apparition, who materializes out of thin air whenever the notion strikes her.

As Emma Joy makes her way north, she lies easily and with conviction to garner sympathy and rides. Along the way, she meets a diverse cast of characters, from a grieving peach farmer struggling under the remnants of the Jim Crow laws of the South to a young man named Stephen who’s headed to Woodstock for what he’s convinced will be his final hurrah before dying in Vietnam. Thus begins a poignant but brief love story between the two set against the free love backdrop of the festival.

Then Emma Joy stumbles upon her long-lost father, and he pledges to be the daddy she wants. Yet, despite his promises and pledges, she realizes that paternal love and responsibility cannot be bestowed upon command. Instead, it is forged through shared experiences, unconditional support, and genuine connection. And though her journey may have begun with a desperate search for her Daddy, it ultimately leads her to a deeper understanding of the enduring power of love and belonging, both chosen and found within the muddy grace of Woodstock.

A6 – Inner Conflict

Emma Joy's inner conflict revolves around her longing for connection and stability versus her fear of rejection and abandonment. At the core of this struggle is her idealized belief that finding her estranged father, Chase, will fill the void left by her mother’s death and give her the family she desperately craves. However, she grapples with doubts about whether Chase can be the father she needs—or if he even wants to be.

This conflict is further complicated by her internalized fear that she is unworthy of love and belonging, which stems from the pain of being left behind by her father and the uncertainty of her place in the world after her mother’s death. As she journeys north, Emma Joy’s self-doubt manifests in her impulsiveness, lies, and the need to prove her independence, all while she struggles to reconcile the idealized version of family with the reality of human imperfection.

Ultimately, Emma Joy’s inner conflict drives her toward a deeper understanding of herself and the realization that the love and stability she seeks may not come from the person she expected—but from the family she chooses to embrace.

Inner Conflict Scene:

We perched on top of an old school bus, the metal radiating heat beneath us as Santana's electric performance filled the summer air. Daddy leaned toward me, his voice low and reverent as he explained the chords, why they worked together, and how the fusion of the Congas was something rock and roll had never seen before.

I didn’t know much about music, not like he did, but I listened anyway. I watched him more than I listened, really. The way his face transformed with every swell of melody fascinated me. His expressions weren’t guarded or careful—they were wide open like the music had stripped something raw inside him.

My gaze drifted to his hands, resting lightly on his knees. His left fingertips were thick and rough, callused from years of chasing melodies across strings. They told a story of late nights in smoky bars, of a life he’d chosen over us. Over me.

He must have felt me staring because he squeezed my hand, and for a moment, the resentment I carried softened just a little. I forced myself to stay in the moment, to hold on to what was right here beside me: his hand in mine, the music weaving its way between us like it could stitch up all the wounds he’d left behind. Maybe this time, it would be different. Maybe now that he’d had a chance to know me—to see me for who I was and what I needed—he wouldn’t leave again.

But then I looked at his face, really looked. His eyes weren’t here. They were somewhere far away, somewhere the music had taken him. Somewhere I couldn’t follow.

Secondary Conflict:

Emma Joy’s journey takes her from the safety and simplicity of her small-town 1960s upbringing—defined by traditional values, racial segregation, and limited opportunities for women—to the chaotic, boundary-pushing world of Woodstock, civil rights movements, and the looming shadow of Vietnam.

Each encounter exposes her to new ideas, cultures, and conflicts that challenge the sheltered perspective she didn’t even realize she held.

Secondary Conflict Scenario: Vietnam and the Fragility of Life: Through Stephen, the young man she falls for, Emma Joy directly faces the specter of Vietnam and the loss it promises. Stephen shares with her that he has a premonition that he will die in Vietnam, and Emma Joy’s acquaintance with sacrifice deepens her understanding of the world’s harsh realities.

Secondary Conflict Scene:

“I keep having this dream, and it’s as real as you and me sitting here,” Stephen said, his voice low, almost reverent. I leaned in closer, the faint glow of the lantern between us painting his face in flickering shadows. “More like a premonition. I had one like it before my parents were killed, but no one believed me. Said I was too young to know anything. But I did. I sensed it coming.”

The weight of his words pulled at me, and I shifted closer, my knees brushing against his. His eyes, usually steady, flickered with something I couldn’t name—fear, maybe. Resignation.

“In the dream,” he continued, his voice dropping lower, “I walk into our little church back home. It’s packed, but no one’s talking. Just crying. People I know. Teachers I’ve had, friends from high school, Janice from the post office, even Bill Parsons, my old swim coach. Girls I’ve dated. Girls I wanted to.”

The lantern hissed, threatening to go out, but the light steadied again as he paused. I held my breath, afraid to break whatever fragile thread he was spinning between us.

“There’s bagpipe music playing,” he said, his voice tightening. “And Poppy is sitting in the front row next to the preacher. He’s all slumped over with grief, his hands shaking. The preacher keeps glancing at this flag-draped coffin. My coffin.”

I flinched, the air between us suddenly sharp and cold.

“There’s this huge red and white funeral wreath propped up on a stand,” Stephen went on, “with a sash says, ‘Beloved Grandson.’”

His words chilled me to my core. The light from the lantern flickered and threatened to go out but hissed back into a full circle of flame. We sat in silence and the shadows as I constructed a hundred different arguments in my head as to how he couldn’t humanly know this. In the end, though, all I came up with was, “Don’t say that. You might jinx yourself.”

Stephen’s eyes met mine, steady but distant, as if he were already walking through that church, hearing the bagpipes play. “Don’t say anything to the others,” he said. “They wouldn’t understand.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“I thought you’d understand,” he said.

I did understand. I just didn’t know that it showed on me. “You’re coming back from Vietnam,” I said, the words strong and slow with a surety that God himself could hear and honor. “You’re not going to die.”

He smiled faintly, a shadow of the grin I knew so well. “Not today.”

“Not for a long time,” I insisted, my voice steady, a quiet prayer disguised as a promise.

We sat there in the dim light, the lantern hissing softly between us. The night pressed close, heavy with the weight of unspoken fears, but I clung to the sound of my own words, willing them to be enough.

A7 – Setting:

In the sweltering summer of 1969, Emma Joy Ryder begins her journey in the Deep South, where the air hangs thick with humidity and tradition. Her hometown of Woodstock, Georgia, is a sleepy, close-knit community cloaked in the rhythms of small-town life—screen doors creak on their hinges, cicadas hum in the dense heat, and narrow streets are bordered by cotton fields and magnolia trees. The town’s slow pace and conservative values mirror the sheltered life Emma Joy is eager to leave behind.

As she ventures north, the journey takes her through the heart of a transforming America. Along the winding two-lane highways, she passes through towns where the scars of civil rights struggles linger; roadside diners hum with the chatter of travelers, and coal trucks lumber through Appalachian backroads, leaving trails of diesel fumes. The land itself changes with her progress—from the red clay of Georgia to the rolling green hills of the Mid-Atlantic, and finally, to the muddy fields and kaleidoscopic chaos of Woodstock, New York.

[tlanzo]

On 11/30/2024 at 12:17 AM, tlanzo said:

Assignment One 

Story Statement 

 

In a vibrant New York City, Reese navigates the tumultuous journey from childhood to adulthood, where her quest for genuine and pure love is both a guiding light and unstable storm. As she grapples with the complexities of her relationships, and the echoes of her upbringing, she finds herself caught in a never ending cycle of familiar patterns that challenge her understanding of love and self-worth. Through heartache and self-discovery, Reese learns that true growth comes not from escaping her past, but embracing it, ultimately forging her own path towards the authentic connection she longs for. 

 

Assignment Two

The Antagonist 

 

The antagonist can represent the protagonist's tumultuous relationships, particularly with men like Dylan and Ken who convey toxic behaviors and emotional manipulation. 

 

Dylan seeks control in the relationship and wants to dominate the protagonist’s life anyway he can. He feels having a successful relationship is about gaining power and keeping it maintained throughout using manipulation and jealousy to keep Reese stuck without independence or security. He tries to tell her who to interact with and deficits by projecting his insecurities onto her, making her feel guilty for his behavior which in reality, is his fault. 

 

Dylan’s background lacks emotional maturity and tends to be possessive which comes from his own insecurities. His controlling ways show deeper issues within himself related to his upbringing and past relationships. He struggles with trusting Reese and projects his feelings on to her constantly. He is quick to anger because of this issue and resorts to threatening her when he feels his power over her slipping away. Dylan also struggles to take responsibility for his actions and wants Reese to pay the consequences instead making him possess characteristics of an antagonist. 

 

Ken represents the past that Reese is trying to move on from but finds it difficult because he keeps re-entering her life. His goals are only around reconnecting in a sexual relationship while ignoring the emotional baggage they share. Ken has a habit of being emotionally unavailable and irresponsible when it comes to other’s feelings. His irresponsibility is also shown in his involvement with criminal activities which have impacted his relationships. 

 

Ken’s approach to relationships shows how selfish he can be. He seeks physical connections with no regard for the emotional consequences that can come from them. Especially for the protagonist. His actions and how he deals with her is seen as opportunistic, as he always re-enters her life when it’s beneficial to him. 

 

Both of these characters have antagonistic tactics, making the protagonist’s journey of self-discovery and independence a challenging one. Their behaviors and how they treat her creates conflict internally for Reese while she is still trying to learn who she is while wanting healthier relationships in love. Her struggling against their actions delays her growth and she eventually realizes that she deserves better than what they’re offering her. 

 

Assignment Three 

Breakout Title 

 

“The Merry-Go-Round” 

Meaning: A continuous cycle of activities or events, especially when perceived as having no purpose or producing no result.

 

“The Merry-Go-Round” represents the cyclical nature of Reese’s relationships and emotional patterns. Just as the ride goes round and round, she finds herself drawn to the same man in different bodies. It symbolizes her tendency to revisit the same mistakes and lessons she needs to confront. Reese feels like she’s on a never ending ride that while it can be a fun and joyous experience, it signifies the illusion of movement without making real progress. Every time she gets close in her pursuit of love, she gets stuck in the same emotional patterns, going in circles rather than moving forward in her journey. 

 

 A merry-go-round can also convey nostalgia for Reese’s childhood, a time where understanding of love and relationships were innocent and more simple. The connection to her past can serve as a reminder of what she longs for, contrasting with the complications of her adult relationships. It symbolizes her desire to reclaim that innocence and find true love. It also embodies moments of joy and escapism. In the midst of the hard times, it represents a sense of happiness and the need to escape the harsh realities of her life. But it's only a temporary solution and prevents her from facing her issues head on. 

 

In conclusion, “The Merry-Go-Round” serves as a complicated symbol in Reese’s story that outlines her struggles with repetition, illusion of progress, nostalgia, and the search for joy amidst the difficulty growing up. 

 

Assignment Four 

Genre and Comparables 

 

“The Merry-Go-Round is portrayed as a Bildungsroman better known as a coming of age novel. It explains changes the protagonist goes through as she grows from adolescent to adult and how what she goes through makes her who she is in the present day. Two comparables that can be similar to my novel are “The Twelve Lives of Samuel Hawley” by Hannah Tinti and “Sex and the City” by Candace Bushnell. 

 

Why those compare: 

While “The Twelve Lives of Samuel Hawley” is not exactly a coming of age story, it explores the deep history of relationships and the impact of the past and personal growth. The novel shows elements of a Bildungsroman with a narrative that combines the protagonist’s life’s lessons with his daughter’s coming of age journey.  Reese’s story processes the themes of love, sacrifice, wounds of the past, making both stories similar because they both emphasize the complications of relationships and the lessons learned from them, making them relatable to young women paving their own paths. 

 

The second comparable, “Sex and the City” by Candace Bushnell focuses on the complexities of relationships, friendships, sex and personal growth within an urban setting. Both novels are set in New York City which serves as a backdrop for both protagonists and influences choices and lifestyles. Both works are also character driven, portraying the lives of not only the main characters but their girlfriends as well. They show different perspectives on love and life from each character. They also both have a personal narrative tone to them which can create a deeper connection to readers. What can set this novel apart from Bushnell’s work is Reese breaks the fourth wall by directly addressing the audience which creates an intimacy and makes the readers feel more invested in her journey. 

 

Assignment Five 

Hookline 

 

In a world where love feels like a relentless roller coaster, a young woman grapples with the ghosts of her past. Constantly torn between past relationships where some of them pull her back in, and the future where she sees herself finding her dream man,  she must embark on a journey of self-discovery and true healing so that she can finally get off the ride she’s been on for half of her life. 

 

Assignment Six

Conflicts

 

The Protagonist experiences a range of external and internal conflicts throughout the story. Here are examples of primary, secondary, and inner conflicts Reese faces. 

 

Primary Conflicts: 

Her romantic relationships and struggling with her feelings for different men including three main staple relationships in her life. Each relationship presents  different challenges and emotional baggage. Reese also struggles with self-identity as she navigates these relationships and is trying to find who she truly is outside of her romantic connections. 

 

Secondary Conflicts: 

The protagonist’s family dynamics plays a part as she has to deal with the complex relationships with her sisters and the death of her mother which adds to the weight of her emotions because she feels neglected and misunderstood by them at times. While her emotions weigh heavy,  her career aspirations come into play when she faces disappointment with her educational and career goals especially when she doesn’t get into art school, making her question her adequacy. 

 

Inner Conflicts:

Reese deals with having trust issues after having rocky experiences with certain men which causes her to have a hard time trusting others and herself in relationships. This leads her to have fears of being vulnerable, another inner conflict. She is anxious about opening up to someone new in the fear of getting hurt again and the ride not being able to stop. Reese’s fear is she won’t be able to find someone with whom she can stand still with. 

 

Hypothetical Scenario:

 

Reese receives a text from Ken whom she thought would never see again. He recently got out of prison and he wants to meet up. The text from him is a trigger for her because of the work she put in to move on from him after years of mixed signals. Now, all of the feelings she thought were gone have been drugged up all over again. In receiving this text from him, Reese feels a mixture of excitement and dread. The excitement comes from the thrill of reconnecting with an old flame but dread because she knows the trouble it comes with. 

 

Secondary Conflict Scenario: 

A secondary conflict involving a social environment can be sketched around the protagonist’s relationships with friends and family. Specifically in the context around her love life and pressures of societal expectations. 

 

In this scenario, the protagonist is trying to balance her friendships and family while dealing with the turmoil of being in a tumultuous relationship with Dylan which she doesn’t really want them to know about. Reese doesn’t do a great job at hiding it and her friends and family notice a change in her. They start to express their concerns telling her she deserves better and to reconsider her relationship as it has become emotionally manipulating and controlling. Conflict arises when the protagonist feels torn between her loyalty to her boyfriend and her friends and family who only want the best for her. While she appreciates them looking out for her well-being, it only makes her alienate herself further from them so they don’t know how miserable she has been in her relationship. Soon, Reese must face the reality of the situation and see that it’s never going to change and her friends and family's opinions will soon cloud her mind while making the decision she knows she has to make but has to come to the realization on her own. This scenario shows the struggles of balancing personal choices with influence of loved ones creating a foundation for character development and the impact of dynamics on personal decisions. 

 

Assignment Seven

Setting

 

The setting of the narrative unfolds across various locations that are significant, each contributing to the emotional and character development. Below is a detailed breakdown highlighting unique views making these settings cinematic and engaging. 

 

Amusement Park: The story begins with a metaphor of an amusement park, which represents the thrill and excitement along with the anxiety of dating. This setting is colorful, filled with the sounds of laughter and screams from the ride, colorful bright lights which captures the excitement and fear of new relationships. As the protagonist gets on the metaphorical ride of dating, the ups and downs imitates the physical feeling of a carousel, making this a dynamic opening scene. 

 

Central Park: A typical first date location, Central Park is represented as an escape in a city that is constantly bustling. The distinction between the concealed bench where deep and intimate conversations take place and the park surrounding it creates a connection that is private. The imagery of nature mixed with the narrator’s nervousness adds emotion to the scene. Also,  when she goes to prom at a restaurant located in the park with the same person she shares these same memories with, it serves as a sense of symbolism in their relationship. 

 

Home Environment: With each move the protagonist makes in her life, the apartment she lives in at certain points in her life, whether it’s the apartment she shared with her sisters in Harlem, the off campus apartment she shared with her roommates in college, the basement apartment she lived in with her father in Brooklyn, the project apartment she shared with her sister’s mother, and the Bronx apartment she now shares with her highschool best friend, it serves as a background of comfort as well as tension. Whether it’s the familiar details such as the comfort of being in bed with someone she has feelings for or arguments and conflicts that take place, in this personal space, the narrator’s feelings are intensified. 

 

Graduation Day: Graduation represents a transition in the protagonist's life as she ends one journey and starts another. Each graduation particularly highschool brings an celebratory atmosphere and is filled with proud families embracing other graduates. The joy of graduating mixed with the sadness of missing her mother adds a bittersweet cinematic moment to the scene. 

 

Herkimer County Community College: The college setting is depicted as both exciting but scary as the protagonist navigates the campus which is filled with new faces creates a sense of confusion. The setting can be captured through classrooms of diverse individuals, noisy hallways and the cafeteria. The struggle of trying to fit in portraying her self-discovery journey. 

 

Prom Night: This setting is glamorous depicting the protagonist beautifully dressed in her light purple dress. The place where the prom is held is vibrant, beautifully decorated while music is playing loudly. Everyone is expressing their happiness through laughter and dance in this scene and shows an expected joy for the protagonist while she deals with internal struggles, highlighting her insecurities. 

 

Train Ride to Utica: The ride up to college shows a transition physically and mentally for the protagonist. The changing of landscape outside of the window of the train shows a shift in her life. The quiet train ride gives her room to have self-reflections allowing the audience to connect with her on her new journey. 

 

William’s Apartment: The intimate setting of his apartment symbolizes a new start. The decor, the view of the bridge from the window and the cozy atmosphere creates a safe space for her and him to explore their relationship further. The setting shows romantic moments blooming while also taking risks with emotions. 

 

Cafe and Restaurants: Various dining experiences are portrayed throughout the novel and serve as backgrounds for connections. The lively ambience, with laughter and conversations throughout each restaurant is shown while the protagonist deals with struggles within herself is described in rich detail. 

The Streets and Subways of New York: These two settings are a backdrop for different encounters that occur in the narrative to the protagonist. The energy of the city impacts Reese’s emotions as she navigates these situations. 

Each of these settings shows different emotions and themes while providing backgrounds for the character’s journey. The locations, character development, and emotions felt in these moments creates a page to screen moment that deepens the novel's deepness and impact.

 

[obiobi]

STORY STATEMENT

 

“Haunted by fractured relationships, buried secrets, and a dangerous mystery, Alice must confront her tangled past and unravel the lies that bind her to her estranged sister, Amy—only to discover that the truth may cost her everything she’s fought to protect, including her own sanity.”

 

 

The antagonist in my story isn’t just one person—it’s a mix of outside forces and the internal mess between the sisters. On the surface, there’s the investigation into Robyn’s disappearance. Langley is dangerous, a hunter, and wants answers after failing to save someone in a previous investigation.  That’s the obvious threat. Then there’s people like Doug, throwing out accusations, and dragging Alice and Amy into the spotlight.

 

But the real problem is Alice herself. She’s constantly trying to stay in control, to live above her traumas and the PTSD, and to create a false sense of self that doesn’t ever really work. even though she’s not good at it.

 

 

TITLES:

 

ALICE IN THE CITY OF ASHES

ALICE IN CHICAGO

FRACTURED PIECES OF HER

 

COMPARABLES:

 

Gone Girl

Girl on the Train

 

HOOK LINE:

“Days after returning to Chicago to sell her late mother’s house, Alice’s childhood friend Robyn vanishes without a trace, plunging her into a spiraling mystery that forces her to confront the guilt of her fractured family, the lies she’s told herself, and a fragile bond with her distant sister, Amy.”

 

Alice’s inner turmoil really comes from all the guilt that she’s hidden, and the carefully constructed image she has of herself and her life. She’s spent years burying the past, convincing herself that moving on means cutting off emotional ties—to Robyn, to Amy, even to their mother. I would describe her as a dismissive avoidant, created due to the caregiver not being supportive enough in their rearing stages. Yet, returning to Chicago and confronting her fractured relationship with Amy, along with the mystery surrounding Robyn, unravels this carefully managed control. It’s interesting that one can live in this state of ignorance for so many years, and being a psychiatrist, I’ve seen how when this happens, it creates for an even grander fallout when it all comes out.

 

The setting of the story revolves around a dim, aging condominium in Chicago, specifically a a place called Kenwood that was chosen due to it’s history it’s affluence, much suited for the types of people that come from these sorts of environments if left left to their own devices,  a space that feels frozen in time, much like the sisters’ unresolved past. The condo belonged to Janice, their late mother, and every corner of it carries her presence in a ll of its spaces. This isn’t just a house—it’s a mausoleum of memories, a place where every object is loaded with meaning.

[Nicki Nance]

Seven Assignments NIcki Nance.docxNicki Nance: Pre-event Assignments 

STORY STATEMENT  

Magically gifted foster child Jack Morelli grows up searching for his brother, Michael, who was taken by demons that dwell in a labyrinth of tunnels under New Orleans. He keeps his dark secrets until he falls in love with psychic Emmie Borell, who has the magical resources to help in his quest. Bringing the truth to light casts a shadow on everything he believes about his purpose, magic, and himself.

ANTAGONIST

Ma’gador is the damaged son of the demon king, K’hal, and the witch Malinda. He was five years old when K’hal became enthralled with Sheila, a younger, more powerful witch, pregnant with his child. Malinda left Ma’gador with K’hal, fearing he was too unruly for the human realm. Ma’gador hated K’hal for driving her away, Malinda for deserting him, and himself for being unlovable.

Sheila, a drug addict, left K’hal the day their son, Ka’pel, was born. Ma’gador resented K’hal for grieving Sheila and tormented Ka’pel mercilessly despite harsh punishment.

On Ma’gador’s twentieth birthday, he learned from K’hal that although hybrids could not take souls, they could procure magic to power up their soul-snatching.  K’hal assigned Ma’gador to learn how to extract and transfer magic by observing a witch, Coletta, transfer magic to her son and then steal magic from Coletta and her son. Ma’gador adored Coletta, and she cared for him. He chose her well-being over K’hal’s approval. Forbidden from being with her, Ma’gador secretly protects Coletta from the demons who still want her magic.

BREAKOUT TITLE LIST

1. Tunnel Demons of New Orleans, Book 1: Under the Crescent Moon

2. Tunnel Demons of New Orleans, Book 1: Demons and Other Brothers

3. Tunnel Demons of New Orleans, Book 1: Labyrinth of Love and Lies

COMPARABLES

1. JR Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood is a series of contemporary characters with a dangerous enemy. Dry humor and snappy dialogue contrast with tragic, complex backstories. Sibling relationships are troubled. Romantic relationships are wrought with self-doubt. Tropes include found families, coming of age, and another realm.

2. Sherilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunter series is set in New Orleans. The overarching theme is brothers at odds. Tropes in common are family secrets, a protected space, human characters with magical gifts, and a comedic non-human entity attached to a protagonist.  The actions of antagonists threaten romantic relationships.   

HOOK LINE

Tunnel Demons of New Orleans Book 1 Under the Crescent Moon by Nicki Nance

The older of two magically gifted brothers is taken from foster care by demons who harvest his magic for years while his tormented younger brother grows up secretly planning his rescue as he is menaced by a demon with secrets of his own.

THE INNER CONFLICT:

From age ten, Jack Morelli kept the dark secrets of his telepathic communication with his missing brother. By age thirteen, he had begun the quest to find Michael and rescue him from the demons who took him. He was pleasant and accommodating to his community, a brilliant student, and a hard worker who courageously coped with his brother’s disappearance. Inside, he seethed with anger at the demons, his brother, and himself. He felt guilt for deceiving people who cared for him and shame for being “less than” the hero Michael needed.

SECONDARY CONFLICT

Jack has become skilled at withholding the truth from people he loves deeply, but when he meets Emmie, his fated mate, the fabric of his woven persona begins to shred. If he does not tell her everything, he can’t accept the love she is offering him. If he tells her everything, he will betray his brother’s confidence.

SETTING

The night the Jack and Michael Morelli brothers, sons of a powerful New Orleans witch, escape their abusive father, they are taken to Affinity House, an old mansion serving as a foster home for children in need of protection from supernatural predators. Demons watched the brothers’ arrival from an ancient courtyard, the remains of a mansion destroyed by Hurricane George in 1947. The same hurricane flooded the entire neighborhood, washing out the only barrier to a maze of forgotten mine shafts and opening a portal between hell and the neighborhood above.

Demons occupied seven mine shafts, lining them with whatever they could find to create an inhabitable space. They planned wisely, employing witches to create illusions, bespell mirrors, and create more portals. An explosion of demon-witch hybrid births was not part of the plan.

Demons have no natural magic beyond dematerializing and taking souls. Hybrids cannot take souls, but they can take magic. K’hal, king of the Louisiana demons, relegated hybrids to the labyrinth of tunnels that snaked below the neighborhood and above hell. His son, Ma’gador, was the only hybrid permitted to extract the pink swirling magic, while the rest of the hybrids served as brokers who found the magic and made the deals. Once extracted, the magic was stored in a vessel protected by a cistern located in a cave behind the landing where the seven tunnels converged. Demons then retrieved it to power up their soul-snatching with clairvoyance, mind control, and illusions.

The hybrid, Ka’pel, brought Michael to live in the marble tunnel lined with authentic Greco-Roman statues and columns. Despite being windowless, the apartment was bright, with walls that glowed from backlights. The apartment's interior seemed too large to fit in the space between tunnels because a gravitational illusion disguised its placement on an incline that dipped below the next tunnel. Though Ka’pel and Ma’gador lived two tunnels apart, a bridge above K’hal’s hell chamber swung between their dwellings.

Michael explored the tunnels often, seeking a way out. In one of the two brick tunnels, groupings of mirrors, empty frames, and paintings hung in spaces between niches covered in trompe l’oeil gardens. The last of four brick niches was a passageway to the aromatic garden portal to the courtyard.

The last brick tunnel ended in a faux foyer that opened to an alley near Jackson Square. The number 333 hung outside the entrance to nowhere, creating a space for deliveries. A painting in the foyer that depicted Jack’s room at Affinity House turned into a portal to the room.

The Shoppes on Royal were across from Affinity House and the courtyard. Magique, at the corner of Royale and Affinity, carried magic supplies. The owner gave psychic readings. The rest of the establishments were on Affinity. Marty’s Cajun Cuisine and Spirits was a family restaurant by day and a trendy hot spot at night. The locals called it Spirits, in deference to the ghosts rumored to linger there. CC’s Confectionary and Café, Riff’s Guitar Shop, and the leather goods store Satchell’s Secrets went to the end of the block.

The vendors and the residents of the apartments above them were a backdoor community. They shared hot coffee on cool mornings and cold beer in the alley behind the Shoppes on steaming afternoons. Most of the inhabitants were magic-bearing descendants of the Sicilian witches who remained after the Sicilian immigrants spread throughout New Orleans.

The apartments above the Shoppes are constantly being remodeled and repurposed to contextualize changes in character arcs.

New Orleans is more than a backdrop for the stories. Searches for Jack’s mother take him via streetcar to the gatehouse of a mansion in the Historical District. His mother inherited the house after it was gifted to her grandmother, who worked in the mansion. It is the house his brother carried him from the night they escaped. In the surrounding neighborhood, he gets clues at Pitstop Pizza, Bar None, Igor’s, and several hotels on St. Charles Street. Jackson Square is another center of focus. Jack meets his uncle at Café’ Du Monde. The Cabildo art museum is dear to several characters, and later in the series, the demons are connected to past fires at the Cabildo.  

 

 

 

[gemwriter]

Algonkian Pre-event Assignments

 

“Time is a Ribbon” is a dual-timeline historical mystery that explores the concepts of genetic memory and transgenerational trauma.

It was inspired by the 15^th C. Flemish painting by Jan van Eyck, “The Wedding Portrait.”

 

The Seven Assignments:

 

One: Act of Story Statement: the protagonist… must discover the unidentified trauma from her past causing her crippling sexual aversion disorder.

Note: This book is a dual timeline story. The present-day character has unexplained sexual aversion disorder and an obsession with medieval art. The other character lived in 15^th C. Flanders, and her tragic story unfolds in tandem with the present-day character’s, converging at the end. The overarching theme: the vulnerability of motherhood.

Two: Antagonist: Eric Dresden is a museum curator by day and an art thief by night. As head curator at the Groeninge museum in Bruges, Belgium, he handles all incoming rare artifacts, without supervision. He is the gatekeeper. Although he once recognized the value of these artifacts, he is now middle-aged and alone, finding solace only in augmenting his power and material possessions.

  Dresden runs an undercover art theft ring, coveting obscure manuscripts and destroying them for his own profit. His latest gig: Dismantling rare manuscripts, cutting them into multiple leaves (pages) and selling individually to private collectors around the world, yielding a veritable fortune.

   Dresden presents a colossal threat to Ren. He not only has the sole power to her access to the manuscript leaves, but he also pursues her romantically, eventually making sexual advances (which repulses Ren).

   When Dresden learns of Ren’s unique abilities to identify and trace the provenance of individual manuscript leaves (her powers are borderline supernatural), he realizes she is a huge threat to his business. He decides he must either convince her to join forces with him, or she must be neutralized—by whatever means possible.

 

Three: Breakout Title:

-       Time is a Ribbon

-       Illumination: The Language of the Leaves

-       The Drolleries Speak

 

Four: Genre: Historical Mystery

Comps & Why:

1.     “The Echo of Old Books” (Barbara Davis, Lake Union, 2023): Davis writes in multiple perspectives and timelines, with a main character who is obsessed with old books (manuscripts), fervently seeking the secrets and mysteries they hold.

2.     “The Lost Bookshop” (Evie Woods, One More Chapter, 2023): Woods captures the readers’ imaginations with visceral details about antique books—“’If you tilt your head… you can hear the older books whispering their secrets.’”

 

What Jonah Knows meets The Lost Bookshop.

The Echo of Old Books meets What Jonah Knows

The Glassmaker meets The Midnight Library

 

From the film world:

1.     The Mill and the Cross (2011): Set in 16^th C. Flanders— “… literally revives the past and cements itself as one of the best movies about art history ever made” (Michael Francis Gibson). This movie, although slow moving and without a “plot,” was inspired by and dives deep into the symbolism behind a painting by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. Much of the artwork in the late middle ages is rich with symbolism and metaphor. “Time is A Ribbon” does much of the same, inspired by a painting by the 15^th C. Dutch painter, Jan Van Eyck—only utilizing a rich and multilayered plot.

2.     Dr. Strange (yes, oddly enough…) (2016): topic of death and eternal life,… “spiritual awakening, metaphysical abilities to transcend time, space, and dimensions” (https://whatnerd.com/movies-with-hidden-meanings-deeper-metaphors/.

 

Five: Logline: In her quest to solve the mystery of her phobias, an obsessed graduate student uncovers an art theft ring, placing her life—and her sanity—in grave danger.

 

Core Wound—Serenity Devin is anything but serene. Orphaned as a small child, Ren was placed with her aunt, Lilith, who is a nun, and raised in a convent. Although she has been seeing a psychologist since she was five, no one has ever been able to identify the cause of her extreme phobia of physical contact.

 

Six: Inner Conflict: Ren suffers from sexual aversion disorder, repulsed by any intimate physical contact.

Sample:

The crackly paper covering the exam table stuck to Ren’s sweaty buttocks. When the doorknob clicked, she jumped. Dr. Anasta’s expression matched her crisply pressed coat.

            “How have you been, Ren? Donna told me the big news!”

            As she spoke, the good doctor nonchalantly pulled on a pair of gloves—the thin, stretchy kind that reveal shadows of the skin underneath. Ren stared as Dr. Anasta’s creased knuckles and the outlines of her neatly trimmed fingernails appeared like ghosts beneath the casing.

            Ren almost forgot to reply.

            “I’ve been fine, Doc. Yeah, I’m headed out of town at the end of the week. Pretty excited.”

            The ordeal lasted only minutes, though to Ren it seemed hours. As she stood at the front desk writing the check, her hand trembled so she found it difficult to make her signature look familiar, even to herself. The receptionist’s plastic smile was suffocating.

            On the way out, as she always did after this annual ordeal, Ren ducked into the hallway restroom and vomited convulsively.

*(At present, this is the opening scene of the novel.)

 

External (secondary) Conflict: The relationship between Ren and Eric Dresden (antagonist) represents the major external conflict.

Sample:

            I shifted from one foot to the other and glanced over my shoulder to the abandoned lobby. What was the point of all this?

            “It’s true I’m here to assist Professor Van Reichen, and the students, in any way I can. But the primary reason for this trip is to study the manuscript.” I cleared my throat and checked my watch. “Now, what is it you wanted, Mr. Dresden? It’s been a very long day. I’d like to get settled into my quarters.”

            “Well,” he began, “The Groeninge has need for someone with your experience in this specialty. I was wondering if you ever considered working for a museum such as ours.”

            This is unbelievable, I thought. The man hasn’t known me more than two hours and he’s offering me a job?

            “I think it’s a little premature for you to be judging my capabilities, don’t you think?” I blurted out what was meant to remain an interior thought, as Dresden’s smile had returned and was setting my meal to churning in my stomach. But as nervous as I was, my curiosity had peaked. I folded my arms across my chest as I continued, “What else has Professor Van Reichen told you about me?”

            “Oh, nothing except that he was intrigued by your interest in the illuminations from the slides I sent him.”

            “Come to think of it, Mr. Dresden, none of the leaves in your display we saw tonight have much in the way of that page decoration. Is there a reason for this? Where are the illuminated pages?”

            I saw Dresden’s expression flicker again, only this time I detected a flash of anger.

            “I should think you’d know the reason. You certainly realize how delicate the pigments on ancient manuscripts are. How sensitive to light they can be. Of course, the highly decorated leaves will be reserved for examination by only the most skilled of your group.” He paused, his glare a silent dare. “And that will be determined at some point later in the weeks to come.”

            I took a deep breath and checked my watch again. “Yes, well I’ll certainly be looking forward to that ‘later point.’  But right now, Mr. Dresden, if you’ll excuse me, I’d really like to retire.”

            He continued staring at me, his eyes seeming to flit now from my face down my body and then back up again. A wave of panic soaked my skin.

           

 

Seven: Setting:

a.     University libraries, where Ren learns to decipher old Latin manuscript texts and identify their provenance based on the artwork on the pages: manuscript illuminations. I know, I know, boring, quiet places, right? But not so for one able to “time travel” by delving into historical documents.

Sample: The Special Collections Room of the University Library was seldom busy. South Florida’s specialty was biotechnology, medicine, and computer science. For most, this room did not even exist. But for those who knew it was there, it was not unlike an Egyptian tomb, filled with undecipherable knowledge inscribed in a dead language.

To Ren, it was as alive and necessary as the rhythmic pulsation of a beating heart.

Tonight, the silence was particularly oppressive. The only sounds came from an occasional page turning, or the tapping of Ren’s fingers on her keyboard. The air was heavy with the scents of musty leather bookbinding. She handled the ancient parchment leaves carefully between cotton-gloved fingers, studying the twisted lines of black ink through the protective sleeve. When a tall figure appeared across the table from her, she lurched back into the present.

 

b.     Museums: again, quiet places. But there is an aura of mystery in a museum that teases even the most pragmatic of us about untold mysteries. Secret passages. Untold stories of the dead.

Sample: The Groeninge was housed in another quaint brick complex of connected buildings that looked like old army barracks, although the exterior was softened with hanging baskets of fuchsia near the entrance.

…

I felt unusually comfortable. For one thing, I was in a museum. For me, this was synonymous to home. There were few places in my world I relaxed as much as I did when surrounded by artifacts, pieces of a past long dead. The present, at least to this point in my life, had held little for me.

c.     Bruges, Belgium: This city is where the majority of the plot takes place. There is nothing in America as old as in Europe. The mystique infuses everything with an air of mystery. Note: Since the story is told in dual timelines, the Bruges setting will be described in both this century and that of 500 years ago.

 

Sample (from present day timeline): Crossing the bridge that spanned the scenic Dijvers river canal, I paused to lean over the ancient green, metal railing as a boat tour was just leaving the dock. The gondola was filled to capacity and hung low in the water as it made its way up the canal, following the watery path to where it curved lazily out of sight beneath an oddly shaped skyline. It was like a scene from a travel brochure, those that had characterized Bruges so accurately: the city’s ambiance could make you feel as though you’d stepped back in time.

The steep spires of the narrow buildings lining the canal sliced the horizon sporadically, forming a jagged, many-peaked wall that rose up from softly undulating green water. Long rays of sunlight cast deep shadows onto the houses lining the opposite side, even as it reflected the rays off the windows of their upper floors.

Although I knew the views from that gondola must surely be spectacular, I also knew there was no way I could tolerate being jammed into that cigar-shaped floating package of people. It made me a little sad. Sometimes my claustrophobic tics really did, ironically, imprison me. The phobias themselves confined me to live within sharply defined parameters.

The clopping of horseshoes on cobblestone echoed somewhere up the street. Perhaps a carriage tour, I thought. I moved closer to the ticket booth, a freestanding cubicle at one end of the bridge where a small group of elderly women and a young family waited. The children were clutching small rectangles of pink paper in their hands and peering up the street toward the oncoming carriage, vibrating with excitement.

 

Algonkian Pre.FS Brown.docx

[Laurie Morin]

Story Statement

My book is a dual-timeline historical novel with two main protagonists: Liliana Perez Cohen (1970s) and Kate Gardner (2000s).

Liliana is on a quest to break free from the restraints of her upper-class upbringing, explore her Cuban heritage, and find out who she is and where she belongs in the world by escaping to California, a hotbed of political activism in the 1970s. 

Kate is struggling with writer’s block and needs to publish her seminal law review article by next year to earn tenure. Her husband is ready to start a family, but she is concerned about juggling her career and parenthood, in addition to the challenges of raising a biracial child.

Antagonistic Forces

 

Both protagonists are fighting against the oppressive forces of a patriarchal society with prescribed roles for women.

In Liliana’s life, this oppression is first embodied in her father, a successful businessman who wants her to fit the mold of upper-class society ladies and disowns her when she deviates from that path. Later in the story, her major antagonist is the historical character Jim Jones, who draws her into Jonestown, traps her there, and rapes her before she narrowly escapes before the massacre.

For Grace, the antagonists are less clearly evil, but they are oppositional forces to her desire to be successful on her own terms. The Dean of her law school expects her to devote all her energy to the job and publishing in prestigious law reviews. Her husband wants her to put motherhood first, even if it means sacrificing her career.

Titles

Chasing the Seventies

The Pendulum Swings

From Good Girl to Feminist

Comps

Looking for Jane: A Novel by Heather Marshall, “follows three women who are bound together by a long-lost letter, a mother’s love, and a secret network of women fighting for the right to choose—inspired by true stories.” Spans the same time period (1970s – 2017) with a similar theme (women’s activism about the Jane Network and women’s right to choose in the 1970s).

All You Have to Do by Autumn Allen: “In ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, two Black young men attend prestigious schools nearly thirty years apart, and yet both navigate similar forms of insidious racism.” Spans the time period from 1968 campus protests to 1995, with both protagonists engaged in the struggle for racial equality.

Both comps involve the intersection of protagonists from different generations facing the same challenges around race, gender, and equality, illustrating the premise that “the more things change, the more they remain the same.”

Hook Line

 

Kate Gardner grew up believing that women could have it all, but as a tenure-track professor with writer’s block, she faces the reality that equality for women has not lived up to its promise as she wrestles with the tension between earning tenure and starting a family.

Liliana Perez Cohen has never felt at home in her upper-class Westchester County boarding school, but her quest for her mother’s Cuban roots and a sense of belonging leads her to confront the harsh realities of a woman pursuing her own path in the 1970s.

Inner Conflict

Kate’s husband Kendrick has earned partnership in his civil rights law firm and thinks the time is right to start a family. But Kate is not sure the time is right, with an important tenure decision coming up that could decide the future of her career.

Liliana rebels against her upper-class upbringing but is not sure where she belongs in the world. After dabbling with feminist socialism, she confronts the consequences of freedom when she is raped by her spiritual mentor, Jim Jones in Guyana.

Secondary Conflict

Kate want to be a mother, but she fears bringing a biracial child into the world in the wake of police brutality against young men of color. She also knows that despite formal equality, women shoulder the majority of homemaking and child care responsibilities in America.

Liliana discovers that she is attracted to women and slowly grows to accept that she is a lesbian, but knows that her parents will never accept her if she confesses who she really is.

Setting

 

Liliana’s story takes her from the upper class community of Westchester County NY to the hotbeds of activism on the West Coast – Berkeley, San Diego, and Los Angeles during an era of student protests over civil rights, racial equality, and the Vietnam War. Later, she follows charismatic leader Jim Jones to Guyana, and barely escapes to Cuba before the Jonestown Massacre. Her story ends in Florida, where she finds a partner and raises the daughter fathered by Jim Jones in Little Cuba, Miami.

Kate grows up on the tony suburb of Newton, MA and doesn’t stray far from her New England roots, but her work at Bay View Law School exposes her to a colorful band of faculty members and students who expand her horizons and support her budding feminism.

[Sue L]

 

 

 

 

 

[Martin Hill Ortiz]

Martin Hill Ortiz

THE ACT OF STORY STATEMENT

Rebecca "Reb" Hadley unwittingly creates a novel-type of explosive reaction in her high school chemistry class, blowing a hole in time. While she navigates friendships and enemies at a new school for promising engineers, she must figure out the formula for the explosion, ward off spies who want the secret, and survive the hazards of some dangerous school projects. After uncovering a plan to use her discovery as a weapon to blow up a local peace conference, she and her friends must foil the plot.

THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT

There are several levels of antagonists. Part of the question is "Who can Reb trust?" Even her friends are under suspicion. The bioengineers are a snobbish group that play with life, including growing ever-larger centipedes. They conduct secret meetings called the "Kaboom Cabal," led by the rogue professor, Dr. Ezra Smalls. The school is funded by Zephaniah Claymont, a mysterious billionaire who made his fortune through chemicals and weapons. And then there is a mysterious ex-student who seems charming, but hangs around the school in spite of being expelled for some unknown reason. 

THE BREAKOUT TITLE

Okay, I believe I have a kick-ass title: The School for Dangerous Design.
 
I could include the name of my main character. If I did that, I would go back to an earlier version and call her Reb Radley and therefore, Reb Radley and the School for Dangerous Design. 

(I thought both Reb and Rad might sound like I'm trying too hard to be cool)

The School for Dangerous Design can be the series title. 

DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES

The two genres are Dark Academia and YA.

The School for Good and Evil, Soman Chainani
Gates of Thread and Stone, Lori M. Lee

Let me deal with the elephant in the room: Harry Potter. My series contrasts with Harry Potter inasmuch as there is nothing magical that happens. It is science-based, albeit fantastical science (e.g., blowing a hole in time). While magic/fantasy does connect to wish fulfilment, that field is crowded. Fantastic science does have a charm of its own. For example, in my story a mechanical remotely-operated hand matches the role of "Thing" from the Addams Family. With a cell phone Velcroed to it, the heroes use it to sneak around and spy. 

The contrast with magic is part of the humor of the piece:

    "I invented a cloak of invisibility," Morgan said.
    "Really?" Reb asked.
    "It's called a light switch." Morgan turned it off. "Hide!"

Also, in contrast to Rowling, I have an important character who is non-binary. My definition of literature is "Anything Ron DeSantis would hate." 

CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT

Primary dramatic conflict that drives the plot. 
Insidious agents seek to learn Reb's formula for creating her explosion. They have in mind using it to bomb a peace conference. When they do learn the secret, Reb and her friends have to spoil the plot.

Personal conflict. 
Reb's mother is an alcoholic who cares little for her. Her father is loving but eccentric and embarrassing. She is insecure and doubts her own smarts.

Reb has always been a troublemaker and a screw-up. She believes she is a fraud and only got into the prestigious school because of an accident. She must learn self-confidence and discover that she is, indeed, quite bright. 

Tagline: After accidentally creating a new sort of explosion, Rebecca Hadley is recruited to an elite engineering high school where she must overcome her self-doubts and fight off sinister forces who seek to use her discovery for an evil plot.

OTHER MATTERS OF CONFLICT: TWO MORE LEVELS

Other conflicts. The bioengineers have been creating ever larger centipedes which have gotten loose in the school's cellars. But something worse is going on. An unknown predator is killing off the centipedes. 

Who is the mysterious boy who hangs around the school even after being expelled? Why was he expelled? Is he friend or spy?

Rebel's friend Samira wears bandages on her face after being injured in an accident. Will she be scarred for life?

THE INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING

This is one of the story's strengths. The setting for The School for Dangerous Design is based on a real location. I can change enough details to make it a wholly new creation if that is necessary. In the 1880s, in the small town of Montezuma, New Mexico, an eccentric millionaire built a castle as a "dude" hotel. It is set up in the mountains and quite beautiful. It has gone on to become a private school. It sits nearby hot springs.

From there my story diverges. I name my school "Santa Febronia" (the patron saint of earthquakes), and it is run on geothermal energy. Deep in the sub-basements there are dynamos generating steam power. Formerly, being a Catholic school, it is run by a nun, Sister-Doctor Phang. 

The school is surrounded by wilderness. There is a nearby geyser. It has castle-like features and an ancient network of tunnels. 

The students, "nerds by the herds," are bright and often eccentric.

Not that far from Los Alamos, New Mexico, there is a connection to a history of dangerous engineering. One of the ingredients for the bomb was stolen from the Oppenheimer Laboratory. 

[Michael Casella]

Responses: Lesson 1

 

Story Statement

Merrill Ryan is an undergraduate student at NYU, born into privilege, whose father has insisted on his pursuing a career in business while his own preference and talent lay in writing. Unknown to his parents, he attends a writers’ conference in Vermont where, when his car breaks down, he meets a 76-year-old farmer, Albert Hull.

After having spent his entire life in Manhattan, Merrill is introduced by Albert to a way of life that is simple by natural design. Albert’s Door is the portal through which Merrill finds his own path to a life worth living, where he feels both rich and satisfied, and neither has anything to do with money. It is an existence reduced to the most basic of necessities, the greatest of which is friendship.

Merrill must confront his father who has spent 20 years planning his son’s future, working countless hours with that single goal in mind, but he never took the time to see just who Merrill was. His son’s wish to relocate and finish school in Vermont is interpreted as an opportunity lost, while to Merrill, it is an opportunity found.

 

Antagonist

Both Merrill’s parents serve as antagonists in the story, though Merrill’s father takes the lead. He is as much the product of his time as his father was, as so many fathers have been, dating back to the industrial revolution.

He is intent on Merrill’s meeting his educational obligations though there had never been any negotiation, much less discussion about them. He considers Merrill’s future in business a pathway he has cleared through his own hard work and determination.

He leads a life meeting obligations and deadlines, and while adept at his job as a money manager, he lives in fear of failure as so many modern men do. Unfortunately, he has been so preoccupied with responsibilities and commitments, he has failed to recognize the individual talents and needs of his children, Merrill’s in particular.

 

 

 

Breakout Title

Albert’s Door

The Meek Shall Inherit

Growing Good

 

Comparables

Fathers and Sons

The Lincoln Highway

 

This is a tough one, and it is my hope that the breadth of reading experience among the group and its instructors can help. I haven’t read nor have I been able to find fiction with similar conflicts as those found in “Albert’s Door” that are set in a period after the 1950’s. “Fathers and Sons” does deal with the challenges between generations, but it takes place in 1860’s Russia. I only mention “The Lincoln Highway” because it is a coming-of-age story. I feel my protagonist, Merrill, is an older version of Billy Watson, a younger protagonist in Amor Towles novel who still believes there is magic in the world. Merrill is in a quest to find it.

 

Log Line

A privileged but introverted college student, having grown up in Manhattan, attends a writers conference in southern Vermont where he meets a 76 year old farmer who reveals the true meaning of wealth.

 

Inner Conflict

The inner conflict of the protagonist in “Albert’s Door” involves one of decision, to maintain his present course fulfilling his parent’s vision of his future, or strike out in another direction, one that would make him happy but which he’s certain they won’t understand or agree to.

 

 

Excerpts:

            “You’re probably right. I don’t have many friends in New York. Don’t date much either. It feels like one big popularity contest to me. Students in my business classes look like they’ve got an office on Wall Street waiting for them, always dressed to the nines and acting superior to everyone else. They’re always trying to get ahead by putting each other down, yet they call themselves friends. From what I can see, I mean if my dad’s career is any indication, it just goes on and on. I don’t want to spend my life like that.”

 

 “Tell me about your mom.”

            “She’s a good woman, maybe a little preoccupied with what other people think about her and the family, though. My dad calls her a social butterfly with all the groups she belongs to. I still live at home while I’m in college, but we pretty much lead separate lives.”

            “Does she listen to you?”

            “Sorry?” replied Merrill.

            “Does she listen to what you have to say ‘bout things, your opinions? Your dad seems to have a mind about what your future should be, and I know from experience, dads can be like that. My sons and me, we had differences of opinion on that subject, believe me. It took me too long to learn their lives were their own. Strange how fathers don’t realize that sometimes till they’ve put too much distance between them and their sons.” There was an uncomfortable moment of reflection for both, each considering the other’s point of view. “But like I asked, “Does your mom listen to you when you talk?”

            Merrill put his sandwich down and sat back in his chair. He scanned the people moving about the store as he pondered Albert’s question. “Now that you mention it, I think she listens, but I’m not sure she hears me. She likes to tell me how I should feel about things, and it’s when I feel differently than her that I don’t think she hears me.”

 

Setting

The story takes place in and around the town of Putney, Vermont, a small township located in the southern part of the state. Nature is a theme throughout the novel from which the protagonist, Merrill, learns many lessons, most of which are taught by Albert, the old farmer. It is the uncomplicated synergy of nature and the respect the local people have for it that captures Merrill’s intellect as much as his heart.

 

The climax of the novel takes place in the protagonist’s parents house on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

 

Excerpt:

He was immediately struck by the air, clean and sweet, scented with what he didn’t know to be bush honeysuckle. There was a light rush of wind through newly budding tree branches, and he could hear the crackle of squirrel claws as the small animals scurried up the course bark of a nearby elm. A few weathered pinecones lay beneath a tree to one side of the road and capless acorns lay like loose bronzed pearls beneath an oak on the other.

His perceptions of his surroundings were stark and pure. He could feel them to his core, an effect the city had never delivered. The landscape appeared to have been gently ladled into place by the hands of Providence while the skyline of Manhattan, the countless concrete monoliths he was so used to seeing, now seemed as though they had been jammed angrily into the ground. He felt a foreign, yet benign sensation guarded with a quiet that was deafening. Raising his closed eyes toward the sky, he breathed deeply. His lungs took in the chill of the air, the sun not yet clearing the tree lines, and he drew an odd strength from it. Knowing there was no one living between him and the paved state road below, Merrill began a slow climb up the gravel lane. Old Cricket would not be The Road Not Taken. 

About a quarter mile up the lane, he could see breaches in the tree lines to both sides of the road, where singular rays of the sun cut through the space of the openings. He hoped the gaps made way for a house or some other structure with electricity. As he cleared the greenery, his gaze was drawn to the right. The Windmill Hill Ridgeline, a series of small peaks 16 miles long, stretched out before him. His breaths shortened as the beat of his heart grew faster. It was more than his senses could take in, and his eyes become glassed with a thin veil of involuntary tears.

[Timothy Keen]

1. Leo Flores must save Earth from a galactic plague.

2. Life in the universe was catalyzed by a primordial entity that has no identity, personality, or memories. It has no objectives, but it enjoys being alive, occupying hosts and living vicariously through them. Once it had filled the Milky Way with life, it was attracted to the new life forms it had created. Unfortunately, this primordial force doesn’t create life on an inhabited planet; instead, it destroys life and moves on to the next source of life, like a moth drawn to a candle. The primordial has thus annihilated a galactic civilization that lasted a billion years. There is only one source of life left in the Milky Way – Earth. The primordial has concentrated on Earth, sharing the minds of humans, sometimes making them brilliant physicists or politicians, more often driving them insane. It cannot be seen, contacted, influenced, or coerced. Blind to its destructive effects, the primordial will go down with the sinking ship then drift into the universe and begin the cycle of regeneration and destruction again. No power in the galaxy can stop its relentless pursuit of feeling alive.

3.  Peacekeeper; Beyond Space; Primordial 

4. The Forge of God (Greg Bear, 1987) This is my best comparable book. It involves an Earth-threatening alien, as well as an alien savior. Both are robotic. Greg Bear focuses on the emotional journeys of his characters whereas, in “The Edge of Space”, I concentrated on their intellectual voyages. This story will turn more towards their conflicting feelings. However, there is no overt public threat to Earth in “Peacekeeper”; instead, looming total planetary death is not well known. Thus, my story is less about the world’s response to an imminent catastrophe than the uncertainty associated with the sudden appearance of the Federation. Coincidentally, neither Greg Bear nor I introduce the aliens; I don’t because they are extinct, represented by an artificial lifeform that turns out to be the true villain. I was surprised at the similarities (I read this after developing the concept of Peacekeeper).

Spin (Robert Charles Wilson, 2005) is set in contemporary earth and involves the interference of machines to save civilizations on the verge of collapse. This is analogous to the Probation program offered to earth in "The Edge of Space" and implemented by the Peacekeeper after all life in the galaxy has been exterminated. 

5. Leo Flores is certain that The Galactic Federation is a farce, and Earth is being colonized by a world-killing pathogen that can’t be stopped or contained. Humanity’s fate is in his hands with help from an extinct galactic civilization.

6. “Inner Conflict”: Leo is in love with a Primordial. He first met Madison when she was a human, with a Primordial symbiote; when Madison was killed, the Primordial took control of her body, keeping it alive and healthy. Leo and Madison fell in love and were pledged to be married, until she died suddenly from a massive stroke. He then meets her in a synthetic Madison body and she explains who (what) she is, while expressing her continuing love for him. His mental torture is increased when the Primordial admits that it is now hosted by a friend of Madison’s with her full support. The Primordial wants to live vicariously through Madison’s friend, and continue its relationship with Leo. With all of this emotional baggage, he also knows that the Primordials are colonizing Earth. That’s all background (developed in The Edge of Space). 

a.  In this story he abandons and then betrays Gan (Madison’s friend and host of a Primordial), to whom he is engaged, because he can’t accept the idea of such an invasive symbiotic relationship with an invader and colonist. His mind is torn, and he soon severs every contact he has with society. He is eventually rescued by the Peacekeeper and learns that only he can save earth from annihilation, but he must do the one thing he cannot do: Leo must accept the Peacekeeper into his mind without reservation, so it can communicate with the Primordial using his bond with Madison. He has to let someone else speak directly to Madison through him; he won’t even be able to tell her he loves her. Will he finally be spiritually reunited with Madison? Yes, but he won’t know it consciously because, if he agrees to the Peacekeeper’s terms, he will be an emotional observer of what occurs. That’s the deal. He accepts it and is spiritually reunited with Madison. He makes up with Gan and everyone is happy ...

b. “Secondary Conflict”: Leo is in conflict with society. He is a loner and has been expecting an apocalyptic end of civilization all his life. In this story, he must turn to his friends (after he has left Gan), who reject his wild speculation. He rejects the president’s direct threat of permanent incarceration and, when helped to escape custody, joins a violent, anti-Federation group. He suspects that they’re a front for the Primordials, collecting their opposition in one place for later extermination. He is alone. He is contacted by the Peacekeeper in an ironic twist: they are both alone, and they must become one, not only with each other, but with all Mankind – and their common, immortal adversary. This is the only way to resolve all the conflict: Leo and the Peacekeeper save the galaxy from annihilation; Leo is reunited with both Madison (the Primordial) and Gan (the human with a Primordial guest); Leo and the Peacekeeper accept Human civilization as the only hope for a future ..

7. There are many settings in this story. I’ll describe a few of them . 

The story opens in an executive office overlooking a park-like campus on a rainy day, then moves to Leo having an argument with his girlfriend, Gan Suwan, in a one-bedroom apartment in Baltimore, Maryland. The action takes place over breakfast at a small table, with an emphasis on coffee (theme introduced in “The Edge of Space”). He visits a friend (Adam Cooper) in Cadiz, southern Spain. They are sitting outside at a small coffee shop. There are people and cars passing by.  He visits another friend in a penthouse apartment in New York City, where the conversation is centered on a video game introduced in “The Edge of Space”. They play the game and the scene becomes a 3D video game (a barren planet) in which they argue about Leo’s obsession with an invasion. 

Leo is incarcerated in a low-security prison where he interacts with several other “political” prisoners in the dining hall, exercise area, and kitchen areas. When he escapes, he travels on a cargo ship to South America, travelling through the Panama Canal. He joins “The Resistance” in Santiago, Chile. This is a warehouse with housing and workspaces separated by low walls. There are lots of people and he moves between different rooms, always on concrete floors. The focus here is on technology, maps, plans, strategy. The mood is anticipatory.

Leo and Gan drive a stolen car through Santiago and stop on a narrow street. He buys a notebook computer and they go to a coffee shop, where he contacts Adam Cooper, who promises to get false passports for them. They go to a cheap hotel. One scene takes place in their room, which is furnished with a double bed, desk, and chair. There is also a desk lamp. The window looks out on an alley.

Leo meets the Peacekeeper, which presents itself as an elderly man wearing a dark-blue suit but no tie. They are in a spacious office with a large window looking down on a planet similar to earth, but with less water. 

The penultimate scene is kaleidoscopic: Leo is on a subway; he is with Madison in her apartment; they are fighting in an arena with thousands watching; they are fighting together against a throng in a series of labyrinthine passages; they are making love; they are overwhelmed by a horde of apes in a jungle; they are lying together on a bed, exhausted from sexual activity. 

The final scene shows Leo and his friends in Larry’s penthouse, looking out on Manhattan

[JessicaFuchs]

Attached.   

Final-Pre-Event Assignments.docx

[Dusty Staub]

This is Dusty Staub. I am glad to be here. I have attached my pre-conference assignment work and look forward to meeting with everyone soon.

Dusty

ALGONKIAN ASSIGNMENTS.docx

[Dusty Staub]

[Jennifer Gauthier]

Algonkian Pre-Event assignments

Jennifer Gauthier

ACT OF STORY STATEMENT

After losing her job as a college professor, fifty-year-old mother of twins, Ginny Walker wants to reinvent herself as a writer. To succeed, she must survive an unexpectedly dangerous writing retreat, defy the retreat’s caretaker, Owen Slake, who wants to steal her work, confront her own demons, and placate the ghost of Owen’s dead sister, who is hell-bent on revenge.

THE ANTAGONIST PLOTS THE POINT

Owen Slake wants to be great. His desire for greatness was instilled at a young age by his famous parents and talented sister. But his early promise and dreams of becoming a successful writer are crushed when he suffers the trauma of a car accident in which his family is killed, and he is the only survivor. No longer put his thoughts into words, he remains determined to live up to the family name. Owen convinces himself that by surrounding himself with creativity, his own talent will return, so he befriends writers, older women writers, specifically. Charming and adept at flattery, Owen basks in their glory, all the while pretending to be working on his own novel. Eventually he opens an artist’s retreat at his family’s estate in rural Georgia, where he installs a surveillance system to make sure that the invited artists are using their time wisely. His first guest is Ginny Walker, who is reinventing herself as a writer after losing her job as a college professor. Owen beguiles Ginny as he closely follows her writing progress. When Owen discovers that long-buried Slake family secrets have found their way into Ginny’s writing, the retreat takes a dangerous turn.

CONJURING YOUR BREAKOUT TITLE

The Retreat

Be Careful What You Wish For

DECIDING YOUR GENRE AND APPROACHING COMPARABLES

Gothic horror/suspense/women’s fiction

Think Starling House (Alix E. Harrow, 2023) meets The Plot (Jean Haff Korelitz, 2021) bathed in the atmospheric tone of Sofia Coppola’s The Beguiled (2017).

Driven by ambition and haunted by dark secrets from the past, two aspiring writers will do anything it takes to make a name for themselves. Ginny Walker has come to an artist’s retreat in rural Georgia to escape the demands of her family and work on her first novel. When the retreat’s charming caretaker, Owen Slake, a writer himself, takes an interest in her, she doesn’t suspect his sinister motives. In this Southern Gothic horror tale, secrets and seduction intertwine, leading Ginny down a dangerous path. When monstrous acts come to light, we are forced to consider, who is the monster?

CORE WOUND AND THE PRIMARY CONFLICT

CORE WOUND: Ginny’s doubt that she is unique. She has faked her way through life, done nothing special or distinctive. Her fear of mediocrity.

CORE WOUND: Owen’s failure to live up to his family’s greatness.

PRIMARY CONFLICT

Ginny vs. Owen: At the retreat, Owen is secretly stealing her work, while also seducing her.

SECONDARY CONFLICTS

Ginny vs. her family/patriarchy/societal norms: Ginny chafes against her role as mother and head of household, which she has to balance with her full-time job. The expectations placed upon her by society’s gender norms are crushing her. She feels unfulfilled.

Ginny vs. Lucy: The ghost of Owen’s dead sister, Lucy, visits Ginny at the retreat and tells Ginny secrets that the Slake family buried for years. Lucy wants the truth revealed.

Ginny vs. her past: Ginny is haunted by a decision she made in graduate school. She took the idea for her Master’s Thesis, and subsequently her Dissertation, from an undergraduate student when she was a teaching assistant for an introductory art history course at Yale.

Owen vs. Ginny: Owen wants Ginny’s work, but when he discovers she is writing about his family’s secrets, he is compelled to silence her.

Owen vs. his past: The pressure from his parents to live up to the family name persisted beyond their death. His memories of his childhood are fuzzy, but tinged with guilt and shame.

Lucy vs. her past: Like Owen, Lucy suffered from their parents’ high expectations, but her wounds are more extreme. She endured both physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her family and wants the dark secrets to be revealed.

LOGLINE:

A fifty-year-old mother of twins must confront past transgressions and overcome self-doubt to prevent a charming stranger from stealing her ideas and crushing her dream of becoming a writer.

In the wake of a traumatic childhood, a man tries to fulfill his hunger for greatness by feeding off the creative ideas of others.  

The Retreat (Gothic horror/suspense/women’s fiction)

After losing her job as a tenured professor, a fifty-year-old mother of twins attends a writer’s retreat in rural Georgia, where she must confront her own demons, defy the monster who is stealing her ideas, and manage the ghost of his sister, who wants their family’s shameful secrets exposed.

INNER CONFLICT

Ginny vs. her past. Ginny is haunted by a decision she made in graduate school. She took the idea for her Master’s Thesis, and subsequently her Dissertation, from an undergraduate student when she was a teaching assistant for an introductory art history course at Yale. She is also struggling with the societal expectations of women, chafing against the demands of being a wife and mother.

SKETCH #1

In an odd way, Owen’s theft of her work was validating to Ginny. It indicated that her writing showed promise – that she excelled at something. He thought her work was worth stealing and he wanted to claim it as his. But she also felt violated in a way that she hadn’t before, even by the men (and boys) who’d used her body without her permission. Her ideas were more precious to her, more sacred, even than her body. Her body was the armor she wore to face the world – the public-facing shell that protected what was inside: her thoughts and feelings, her hopes and dreams. That part of her was real, private, whereas her body was just something she wore like a costume to make her way through the world.

She thought of her own masquerade through life as a confident, self-possessed rule-follower, when she often felt possessed by someone else – someone who was determined to see her fail, to grind her into the dirt and then dance on it or crush her into dust and blow like a puff dandelion gone to seed. Ginny had been fighting this battle for years, trying to overcome her self-doubt and be proud of all she had accomplished. But what had she accomplished, really, and how much of it was truly hers? Standing in Owen’s cabin, contemplating his actions, Ginny couldn’t help but think about Isabelle.

Ginny had paid for graduate school by cobbling together her meager savings, taking loans and working as a teaching assistant for an Art History survey class. She loved the work – it brought her back to her undergraduate days when she had first discovered her love of art. She graded exams and helped organize lectures for Dr. Archibald Mortimer, who was a big deal in the field of High Renaissance painting. One semester he asked her to grade his final papers because he had no interest in reading them. He was close to retirement, and probably close to death too – one of those venerable old institutions, much like Yale itself.

            “Virginia, I trust your judgment.” He had told her, when she demurred on the grounds that he had a much better sense of what grades the students should be given. “Frankly, the thought of slogging through all those banal observations about Mona Lisa’s smile or Pollock’s paint splatters makes we want to throw myself off the Harkness Tower.”

            Ginny ended up reading all the papers and assigning grades to the 30 students in Mortimer’s section. At the time, she had been struggling to come up with an idea for her Master’s Thesis. She knew she wanted to write about a contemporary woman artist but was at loss for who to focus on. Most of the women artists she encountered had been over-researched – Georgia O’Keefe, Frida Kahlo, Dorothea Lange. She wanted to discover someone new and introduce this unknown to the rest of the world. Her professors at the time were of little help. Yale’s art history program was still run by old white men, except for the lone woman in the department, Carol Bergstrom. Dr. Bergstrom was an expert in Dutch and Flemish Medieval art, so not exactly in Ginny’s proposed field, but Ginny sought her out as a mentor. She was as supportive as she could be, giving Ginny several research opportunities, but in general Yale’s was an old-fashioned approach to the discipline and Ginny longed to be on the cutting edge.

            It was the longing that pushed her to do it, probably. And a feeling of desperation. Her thesis proposal was due at the end of the school year, and Ginny hadn’t written a word. It was partly because Mortimer was keeping her so busy with his class: he’d frequently call her up the night before lecture and ask her to fill in for him. He joked that his chronic gout made it difficult for him to get to the 9:00 am survey class. Ginny knew it was more likely due to a massive hangover. Although he was usually generous enough to share his notes and slide list, Ginny often tweaked his prepared lecture to include more women artists and consideration of broader social issues like gender, race, and class. The entitled Yale undergrads needed to be pushed to think about these issues, and if she had the opportunity to lecture them, she was going to seize it.

            The students weren’t all bad: a handful were eager to learn and seemed passionate about art history. Isabelle Tholas, an exchange student from Strasbourg, was probably Mortimer’s best student, but he wouldn’t have known it. She kept quiet in discussion, lacking confidence in her English pronunciation. Ginny observed the lectures from the back of the room, taking note of who was engaged and who wasn’t. Although seated in the last row, Isabelle listened intently and took copious notes. Grading Isabelle’s exams and papers, Ginny noted that Isabelle’s composition wasn’t perfect, but her ideas were brilliant. With each essay Ginny was shocked anew at Isabelle’s creativity and wholly original insights. But it was her final research on Franco-Moroccan photographer, Leila Nejjar, that really stood out.

            An intricate fusion of ideas from philosophy, sociology, and feminist theory, Isabelle’s essay brought the work of this as-yet-undiscovered artist to life for Ginny. Deft in her use of logic and visual evidence, mixing in just the right amount of mystical insight, Isabelle wove these elements together to create a perfectly nuanced argument. Reading the paper, Ginny learned that Isabelle had been introduced to Nejjar’s work at a small gallery back home and had been following her work for a few years. She was obviously fascinated by the photographer’s radical take on cultural hybridity and the clash of Nejjar’s Moroccan and French identities. When Ginny read Isabelle’s essay, she felt its brilliance in her heart, and in the pit of her stomach too. It was a dark, hollowed-out feeling – like her insides had been scooped out, leaving the round emptiness, like where the green flesh of an avocado once was. And Ginny’s feeling was green; it was a powerful pulsing envy that pierced her self-confident veneer.

            When Ginny raided her memory of that time, she found it lacking in detail. The contours were fuzzy; she wasn’t sure what parts had actually happened and what parts she imagined, or only feared had happened. And when does something like that happen exactly – in the moment when you decide to do it, or the moment you go through with it? Or in a later moment when you are recognized for someone else’s ideas – lauded, feted, and praised? Or when you advance based on those ideas? When you achieve your dream and look around to find your whole career rests on a foundation that is as sturdy as a castle built on quicksand?

             Even if the exact moment was cloudy, Ginny could recall the feeling, and then the consequences, which seemed negligible at the time. Once she set the thing in motion it gathered its own momentum and became self-propelled. She had given Isabelle an A on the paper – there was no question that it was an A paper. Ginny had no reason to lie about that. When the semester ended, Isabelle returned to Strasbourg, and Ginny proposed her Master’s Thesis topic: “Feminism and Cultural Hybridity in the Photography of Leila Nejjar.” 

            Ginny had never told anyone about Isabelle, not even George. She rarely thought about the incident, but when she did, she felt the ground loosen beneath her, a gaping maw open up and begin to suck her down into its dark cavity. In that moment of imagined consequence, she was the castle and its inhabitant all at once. Like a deposed Queen imprisoned within a crumbling fortress, she was devoured by the pit of guilt and shame.

But nothing bad happened. She expanded upon the research for her dissertation and now she was a long way from that desperate, hollowed-out pretender she had been. Her subsequent work, though rooted in Isabelle’s idea, was her own. It earned her accolades and the respect of her colleagues in the field. It was as if what she had needed was simply a jump start to ignite her own creativity as a scholar. As she stood in Owen’s cabin it all flooded back into her mind. Were her actions any different from Owen’s?

SKETCH #2

Ginny loved few things more than reading in bed on a weekend morning: the languid feeling of lying prone, propped up on pillows with sunlight streaming into her bedroom through the slats of the blinds, a book beckoning her to enter its world and become someone else. So, it was with no slight annoyance that she detected a faint burning smell in the air on a Saturday morning. Her instincts kicked in and she leapt out of bed, leaving George snoring peacefully in the space beside her. She grabbed her robe and dashed down the cold steps barefoot.

“Boys?”

“We made our own breakfast!” the twins crowed as Ginny appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“Yes, you sure did.” The countertops were littered with bowls and spoons. Pancake mix coated everything as if the box had exploded.

“Want some?” Jack held a spatula aloft piled with three slightly singed and misshapen pancakes. He grinned and tilted his head sideways, raising one eyebrow – Ginny knew this as his triumphant, self-satisfied look.

Cooper sidled up behind him with a mouthful, “They’re great!” he managed to spit out, along with more than a few sticky crumbs.

“Well, boys, it looks like I am officially obsolete.” Ginny feigned disappointment and popped a pancake into her mouth. “Yes, indeed they are delicious.” It was only a little lie – the pancake was tough, and it left a distinct carbon flavor on the palate.

“Aw Mom, you know we still need you. Who’s going to clean up this mess?”

“Not I. I’m making myself some scrambled eggs. Is there a clean frying pan?” Ginny grabbed the pan closest to her on the counter, not realizing that it held several inches of greasy water. The twins had attempted to soak the pan – she had to give them credit. But the force she used to lift it hurled the mess into the air, sloshing it across the counter, the floors, and the front of her robe. She tossed the pan into the sink and several loud expletives into the kitchen.

“Mom –”

“What the – ”

The twins came running, syrup-faced and wide-eyed. Ginny didn’t often swear (not aloud anyway) and it shocked all three of them.

“Can we do anything to help?”

“Out.” Ginny could feel a rage pounding in her head. Now she’d have to mop the floor in addition to cooking herself breakfast, or instead of, more likely.

She felt arms around her waist – George had been awakened by the kitchen commotion and snuck up behind her.

“What’s all this?”

            Ginny wasn’t sure how much of the excitement he had witnessed, but her anger gripped her tightly and she didn’t care. Nor did she answer him. Instead, she shrugged out of his embrace and stomped to the closet to get the vacuum cleaner – she had to vacuum up the crumbs and pancake mix before she could mop.

            When she returned to the kitchen, George was making himself a bowl of cereal and congratulating the boys on their culinary triumph. Jack and Cooper were both on their knees swabbing the floor with paper towels – doing a great job spreading all that greasy water around, Ginny thought. She stood in the center of it all with the vacuum by her side like a silent partner.

            “Guys?” They all looked at her dumbly. “Everyone out. And don’t plan to come back into the kitchen for at least twenty minutes.”

            George hustled the twins into the den, where he proceeded to plop himself on the couch and watch ski racing, flanked on either side by a junior chef.

            Ginny fumed as she vacuumed – the one-sided conversation in her head more like a rant, the one she returned to often: if she didn’t do something, it wouldn’t get done; she didn’t eat if she didn’t cook; she was expected to do everything. Ginny imagined it was exactly what would have been going through Cinderella’s mind if the girl hadn’t been such an insipid dolt.

            Her relaxing Saturday morning forgotten, she mopped the floor to the sound of the boys cheering on the American skiers at Val d’Isere. 

SETTING

Lammermoor – former plantation, so there are ghosts of the past, even before the Slakes lived there.

Gothic – crackling with secrets, the history of the estate, Owen has fixed up the main house and the schoolhouse, but the barn and the caretaker’s cottage are still a bit rundown. Benign neglect, paint fading, maybe the cottage is partly fixed up – the front? Like a Hollywood set – the backlot is rundown, creepy.

The woods surrounding the house – long leaf pines are tall like soldiers in an advancing army. Sentinels – watching over, guarding something.

The lake – color of iced tea, lily pads, peepers, not clear – muddy.

Develop the creepy factor – sounds of cicadas, owl, coyotes howling. Possums’ eyes glow in flashlight beam.

Foxes, coyotes, weasels, big brown bats.

Spanish moss dripping from Live Oaks

Sub-Settings:

Caretaker’s cottage – where Owen lives, it has not been completely fixed up, still bears signs of neglect.

Old schoolhouse – fixed up, new wood, polished bell atop the roof.

The barn – also not fixed up – it is a workspace, not a space for the retreat guests. Ginny notices the difference between the barn and the schoolhouse when she goes inside the barn to spy on Owen. Donkey (Igor) and goats. Some horses board there – not Owen’s.

Farmer’s Market in Rebecca – World’s Largest Peanut. Turner County, Alapaha River, Flat, rural, just being revitalized, but still bears the marks of a neglected farming town, not even a town, but it is at a crossroads, so well-placed for a market. Hipsters from Macon love to drive down (1 ½ hours) because it feels “authentic.”

GINNY’S ARRIVAL AT THE RETREAT

“Here it is – Lammermoor.” Bobby’s cheery voice dragged Ginny up from the depths of her car nap. A newly-mended fence fronted the country road for miles in either direction, pristine boards shone here and there amongst their weathered cousins. An elaborate wooden sign dangled between two tall posts above a dirt road that wound its way into a thick stand of longleaf pine. Bobby turned into the drive as Ginny looked around taking it all in. The pines stood like tall sentinels on watch. Birds darted through high branches that offered a respite from the intense sunlight. The road was two parallel tracks with grasses growing up in between; they brushed the undercarriage of Bobby’s Toyota as he drove along, making a sound like whispers.     

When they came out of the woods, there it was, down a long straightaway, directly in front of them: Lammermoor. The pines had opened up and the road was flanked on either side by Live Oaks, ancient branches curving over the road to make a tunnel gave the entryway an aristocratic feel. Filtered through the branches, the sun dappled the gravel with dark contours. The trees dripped with Spanish moss, which Ginny always found beautiful but knew to be a deadly parasite on its host.  

A cloud passed in front of the sun, which had just begun to weaken in the early May evening. The scene was suddenly cast in shadow, but up ahead, the white house gleamed, its imposing presence presiding over the scene like a queen. Built in the antebellum Greek Revival style, it had matching upper and lower front porches, held up by eight square columns and a large staircase leading to the front door. Its large, evenly spaced windows were hung with black shutters.  

“Wow. It’s an old plantation. Looks like something out of Gone with the Wind.”  Bobby’s comment betrayed an undercurrent of distaste. Ginny wasn’t sure how to respond.

“These old trees are beautiful. I wonder how long they’ve been here.”

“Since before the Civil War, I’d say. Tended to by who knows how many slave gardeners.” Bobby wasn’t wrong, and it made Ginny slightly uncomfortable.

“From what I read, the Slakes bought the place in the 1980s when the last of the original family members had passed. Got it for a steal I think . . . must have taken a lot of money and time to fix it all up.”

“Well, I guess if you have that much you can decide what you do with it. Can think of other things they might have done . . .” Bobby trailed off. “Speaking of time and money, I’d better get back to civilization if I want to pick up anyone else today. Is there someone here to meet you?”

Bobby helped Ginny unload her things and bring them up onto the porch. The space glowed blue from the ceiling paint, which Ginny knew was meant to keep away spirits. Small tables and rocking chairs were scattered along its length. Propped against a sweating pitcher of lemonade on the table closest to the front door was an envelope with Ginny’s name on it. She ripped it open to reveal a short, handwritten note and a set of keys.

Dr. Walker:

Welcome to Lammermoor! I apologize for not being here to greet you, but please make yourself at home. This is your set of keys for the duration of your stay. Feel free to settle into your bedroom – it’s the blue room – last one on your left at the top of the stairs. There’s food in the refrigerator and I’ve chilled a bottle of rosé. Help yourself. I hope to be back later this evening.

Owen Slake 

            Ginny felt a tingle of excitement at the prospect of being in this gigantic historic house all by herself. It was like being in a movie – she thought of that Sofia Coppola film with Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell. What was it called?

            Bobby was hovering at the top of the steps. Ginny could tell he wanted to get back on the road but also felt a sense of responsibility for her. Clearly, he was unsure about leaving her on her own.

“Please, go ahead. I’m fine – the house is all ready for me, and I am so tired. I just want to crash.”

“Well, if you’re sure. Here, put my number in your phone, just in case. I’ll call you –

what’s yours?”

It took a few tries to find a spot where the service was reliable. They ended up trudging up the drive toward the main road to get a signal. After they exchanged numbers, Bobby got back in his car. Ginny stood on the porch and watched the Toyota recede into the distance, kicking up a plume of dust all the way down the drive. The sound of tires crunching over gravel echoed across the silent lawn. She stopped watching when Bobby’s car was obscured by the shadow of the woods and the crunching was replaced by the insistent screams of a crow. Clouds floated languidly overhead, but she noticed that they were slashed with red like they had been stabbed.

 

[Olive Simpson]

Story Statement: Artificial People follows the story of N4962b3 colloquially known as Nellie. A woman born from an artificial womb and raised to become a nurse. She finds herself, unknowingly, at ground zero for a revolution. With her city cut off from the rest of the world and under attack by the government, she must use her skills to save herself and her friends from the devastating war that’s sparked around them. The story also depicts the collapsing world around them as plummeting birth rates and disproportionate wealth create staggering effects on the economy. 

 

The Antagonist: For this story, the antagonistic character would be President Turner Cartwright; a wealthy man only interested in lining his pockets and the pockets of his friends. He creates a capitalist-driven fascist country that keeps the class system prominently divided and shows no humanity towards its citizens. The antagonist is also the society around the artificials, as they refuse to recognize them as humans or feel any empathy towards them.  

 

Breakout Title: 

The Artificial People

Fakes 

Bricks in the Wall

 

Genre and Comparables: The genre is science fiction/speculative fiction with the subgenre being dystopian. My first comparable would be Brave New World by Aldous Huxley due to its portrayal of totalitarianism and social brainwashing. My second comparison would be Terms of Service by Craig W. Stanfill due to the government’s use of technology to make money and save money without the use of “real human labor.” The difference between our books is that the artificials are not AI and are very much sentient and real, but the two are still overworked and underpaid nonetheless. For a third comparable I’m going to cite the storyline of a video game, but I promise it makes sense in retrospect. My third and final comparison is Detroit Become Human by David Cage and Adam Williams. Detroit Become Human follows a similar storyline utilizing the idea of androids that gain emotions and feelings but were originally made to do the jobs humans didn’t want to do, much like the artificials. 

 

Hook Line: The government created artificial people to fix the birth rate problem, slowly stripped them of their rights, and turned them into slaves. An uprising begins and an artificial nurse is caught in the middle of it all. She wishes to make it out alive and unchanged, but she might just be the key to helping her people. 

 

Core Wound and Primary Conflict: The first primary dramatic conflict would be Nellie realizing she wants more from life, but the laws and world around her are holding her back. This conflict will push Nellie through the narrative as she navigates through the turmoil with her own goal in mind. 

 

Secondary Conflict: The splitting of the factions. When other nations agree to take any artificial refugees looking for a better life the city has to decide whether to stand their ground or flee somewhere new. Nellie wishes for things to be resolved without violence and wants to leave the country while other artificials believe that they’ve been wronged one too many times. Nellie chooses to lead half of the artificials out of the closed-off city to the border making herself the leader. 

 

 Internal Conflict: Nellie wants to be free and live a better life, but doesn’t want to harm anyone to get her way. Slowly she struggles to rationalize her morals to herself as she sees the true horror unfolding. A point in the book will depict her deciding whether or not to kill a soldier who patrols the streets at night. She also struggles with wanting to help the others make it out of the city and being the leader. She wants to do right by everyone and be kind, but she knows she would be safer trekking alone. 

 

Hypothetical Scenario: 

Nellie was pacing now; beads of sweat were starting to roll down her cheeks. The group was too large to make it through downtown unnoticed, which was likely their safest way out, and too many of them were hurt to take the woods and loop around. Not to mention the extra time it would take to cut around was risky, she was pretty sure a number of her people’s wounds were infected. Without medicine, they’d be septic soon, and then half her group is dead. 

She froze at that thought. They would be septic soon. It would be a sizable portion of the group, enough that they could make it through downtown unnoticed without them. She didn’t want to think it, but maybe they’d be better off if they lost a few people. Maybe she’d be better off. The more she pondered this the more guilt she felt. She wouldn’t wish that kind of death upon anyone, she’d seen it before, it was painful. These people had loved ones surrounding them, loved ones who would have to watch them suffer. She rubbed her eyes letting out an exasperated sigh, and when she turned she saw Finn standing in the doorway. He was covered in soot and blood, and he looked older than she’d ever seen someone look which was funny because he was younger than her. 

“What should we do Nells? You’re in charge here.” 

She looked over to the map on the subway wall, “I need a team of people willing to make a pharmacy run with me.”

 

Setting: The story takes place in a city, specifically two upper sections of the city that are designated for artificial people only called New Hope. These parts of the city are much more run down than other parts, and they’re completely cut off from electricity. They’re not allowed access to the internet, TV, or any other form of “corrupting” media.  The only way in and out is a bus designed to pick up artificials at scheduled times. New Hope is eerily silent as residents who aren’t working or using activity time are not permitted out of their units, but this is disguised by the colorful units and radiant wildlife grown around. There are patrol squads 24/7 usually adorned in heavy riot gear, some even utilize sniffing dogs. The story from Nellie’s point of view shows New Hope in a different light though as residents have long since figured out how to sneak out and where to go hang. The world around them has also drastically changed as most people no longer work and leave that to the artificials. Religious groups are seen protesting throughout the city, they believe artificial people are an abomination and an attempt to play God. Nellie learns that only wealthy people can live in the country and lots of people left for Europe in a mass exodus, a decade after the artificial people program was launched. 

 

[Tisha]

The Act of Story Statement – As in the Days of Noah

A woman and her family must defy and survive a menacing alien race until escape to a hidden place is possible for the last of humanity.

---

 

[Douglas Grudzina]

STORY STATEMENT:  Troubled by the mysterious circumstances surrounding the deaths of two unidentified corpses, a young medical student sets out to discover who they were and why they were killed. Were they delegates to the great federal convention that was about to begin, members of a secretive and exclusive  post-Revolution society, or were they among the veterans set on avenging what they perceived as wrongs committed against them by the fledgling United States government? His investigation results in a third death as well as his expulsion from school and his lodgings, and nearly ends his life.

ANTAGONIST:  Young and pretty but uncouth and clearly brought up roughly, Riona is a new maid on the staff of Martha Hoames’ fashionable guest house. She is befriended by Thomas Mather and Caleb Freeborn although they know nothing about her background. Eventually, they learn that she is the daughter of Thomas Hicks, the only person executed for his participation in an abortive plot against George Washington’s life early in the Revolutionary War. Riona has harbored a lifelong grudge, pushed to a crisis by the recent publication of a brochure about the incident. Riona has come to Philadelphia, knowing that most of the “great men” involved in her father’s death will be attending the Federal Convention. Her goal is to avenge her father’s death by killing each of the men who participated in her father’s trial and execution – including General Washington, who sentenced the man to death and signed the execution warrant.

BREAKOUT TITLE: 

Assassination of Titans. My current working title. I can’t say I love it.

The Rivers Run [Ran] Red. I just thought of this one. It works on the one hand because the first body is discovered floating in the Delaware River, and the second is found near the Schuylkill. On the other hand, is it maybe too “sensational”? And is the alliteration a bit much? Still, I kind of like it.

With Half so Good a Will. Just before he kills himself in Act V, scene v of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Brutus says, “Caesar, now be still. / I killed not thee with half so good a will.”

COMPARABLES

David Liss, The Whiskey Rebels, Comparable time period. A close intermingling of (slightly fictionalized) historical figures and events with completely fictional characters and incidents.

Turn: Washington’s Spies (AMC television dramatization of Alexander Rose’s Washington's Spies: The Story of America's First Spy Ring): Comparable time period. A close intermingling of (slightly fictionalized) historical figures and events with completely fictional characters and incidents.

Michael Shaara, The Killer Angels. Probably less fictionalized than my project, but still a very close weaving of historical fact with some fictional elements and narrative.

More recent comps:

S.G. Maclean, The Seeker  (2015) – use of historical figure as key secondary character

Stephanie Dray, My Dear Hamilton: A Novel of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton (2018) – fictional account/narrative of historical incidents; relative same period

Bob Drury and Tom Clavin, Blood and Treasure (2022)— Daniel Boone … fictional treatment of historical figure

HOOK LINE

In his attempt to discover the identities of two unidentified bodies and the circumstances of their deaths, a young medical student risks everything and discovers a plan of revenge that threatens his life, the life of General George Washington, and the future of the United States of America itself.

CONFLICTS

Primary: Thomas Mather hopes to identify the two men whose bodies have been used in demonstrations at the Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He encounters increasing resistance from his primary instructor, Dr. William Shippen, who ultimately expels Mather from the medical school and from his landlady, Mrs. Martha Hoames, who evicts him from her guest house. His investigation is led in the wrong direction by allowing his friends Caleb Freeborn and Riona convince him that the mysterious Jeremiah Whittier is the leader of a plot to avenge perceived wrongs committed against those who sacrificed everything during the Revolutionary War and were not satisfactorily compensated by Congress. When he finally encounters the murderer face to face, he almost becomes her next victim lest he keep her from committing her final act of vengeance.

Secondary:

Thomas Mather is lonely, separated from his family, and harboring doubts that medicine is indeed his calling. A farm boy, his only friends in the City are two servants in the guest house, the housemaid Riona, and sixteen-year-old bi-racial Caleb Freeborn. He is his parents’ only child to survive to adulthood, so when his parents finally agree to let him study medicine instead of work the family farm (Cain was a grower of vegetables, but Jesus was a healer of the sick), he feels the need to distinguish himself. Of course his need to solve this mystery of the cadavers nearly destroys his chance to be the son to his parents he wants to be.

Social Environment:

Caleb Freeborn cannot remember a time when he did not live and work at Martha Hoames’s guest house. Now a doorman and all-around household assistant, he knows he is witnessing history unfold, but he longs to be a part of it, to do something important and to make his mark. He also knows nothing about his parentage except for a few trinkets he believes his mother and father may have left for him. As he reaches adulthood, his desire to know who he is and where he is from intensifies.

Jeremiah Whittier is a late arrival to Mrs. Homes’s second establishment, The Indian Queen Tavern. He is inexplicably present at key events in pre-federal convention Philadelphia, especially a secret gathering of disgruntled Revolutionary War veterans and a  meeting of the exclusive Society of the Cincinnati. He comfortably associates with the highest echelon of Philadelphia society – including James Madison and George Washington – as well as the disenfranchised, the war-weary, and the near-criminal. His two main objectives in Philadelphia, however, are to clear his name of long-ago allegations of treason and to find information about a long-lost love and the child he believes he fathered.

SETTING

In May 1787, the city of Philadelphia is a mere relic of the mighty capital of commerce and political thought it once had been. The British blockade during the Revolution had choked the city’s finances, and the British occupation had choked its soul. The years after the Revolution had been no easier.

Trade is still stifled. Newly independent states can now trade directly with Europe and no longer need the middleman services Philadelphia once provided. By the same token, the counties west of the Appalachian Mountains ship their goods via the Susquehanna River and trade through Baltimore rather than transport their goods over the mountains.

Once-cobbled streets are now rutted and muddy, the cobblestones having been dug up and used as cannonballs during the war. Windows are broken and boarded. Roofs are burned, tiles broken and missing.

While Philadelphia had been the birthplace of American Independence and the political capital of the infant nation, Congress had abandoned its home four years earlier when angry mobs of Revolutionary War veterans surrounded the State House and threatened the government with violence. Many of these disgruntled veterans still dwell within the city, their grudges having never satisfactorily been settled. The threat of violence lurks on virtually every corner.

Further, the federal convention has been delayed by weeks of foul weather. Delegates arrive late. Heavy rain and floods have made the roads impassable. Days are cloudy and rainy; nights are choked with fogs from the Delaware River. Even among the most peace-loving residents of the city, the mood is tense, a field of dried grass that needs only a spark to ignite it.

It is in this war-torn, poverty-stricken city, struggling to regain some semblance of its former status and influence, that Thomas Mather investigates the deaths of two unknown bodies and discovers Riona’s plot to avenge her father’s death.