Cover Snark: Personal Ads for Mountains

[Artemis Gordon]

Hey all! It’s time for Cover Snark!

From Melodie: Unfortunately the hero the mountain got was Three Nipple Man.

Sarah: I see so many patterns. What do they MEAN?

Tara: Is this man going to fuck a mountain?

Sneezy: The mountain called. It asked him to please don’t.

Amanda: What a strange personal ad title.

Amanda: There’s a lot going on here and I’m not sure I like any of it. Though I’m not mad at the Oded Fehr from The Mummy vibes I’m getting.

Elyse: Love how his armor covers his nipple, but leaves his entire stomach vulnerable.

Sarah: Savage in the Touch. Chafing in the Armpit.

Shana: Is that a Tribble glued to his chest?

Amanda: He needs some aloe vera and I like how it looks like she’s trying to avoid touching his sunburn too much.

Elyse: Is that Julianne Moore?

Sarah: “Oh honey, just wait until this starts to peel. I better run to CVS before the sunburn itch sets in.”

Sneezy: Maybe he’s trying to cosplay as cha shu.

From Laura G.

Sarah: Not only do I have questions about infant safety when one has scales on their forearms, but I also have some questions about child services, community support, and social care networks in the alien romance world, as it seems like there is a drastic shortage of child care and parental support?

I have a lot of questions.

Claudia: I’m concerned about the baby choking on… whatever it is they are eating. Also, where’s going on with the potential adopter’s neck?

Sarah: That hair is going to get pulled, and pulled hard, too.

Tara: Maybe that’s what happened on the other side of his head…

Sarah: Yeah, that’s why he has Ye Olde Alien Hair Clippe

Tara: It’s nice to see him learn from past experiences.

Sarah: it’s important to adapt as a parent, isn’t it?

Sneezy: Apparently that’s what happened to my mom. I kept yanking on her hair, so she cut it short.

 

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