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Cover Snark: Is It Too Early for Easter?


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It’s Monday morning and time for some Cover Snark!

Pregnant with My Roommate's Dad by Sofia T. Summers. A man is in bed with one arm behind his head. It's creating a weird shadow in his armpit, but most concerning is the title.

From Rebecca: For your consideration for cover snarkiness because the title hurts my brain.

Sarah: Sir, I am just as confused as you are.

Elyse: WTF is happening with his armpit?

Also it sounds like the baby she’s carrying is her roommate’s dad so is this a time travel issue?

Sarah: Wait, maybe the cover model is pregnant with their roommate’s dad?

That’s going to be a complicated gestation.

Elyse: He’s carrying the baby in his weird arm lump

Sarah: Unless this is an alien romance and the person who is pregnant is gestating another person’s parent?

AJ: This is why you don’t drink and drive a time machine, folks.

Desire Slaps by Sandro Chaviano. A naked man turning to the side is covered in gold leaf. The cursive title is also causing some confusion.

From Naomi: I know the Bitches will Have Opinions about this cover!

Sarah: Who is Desive? And why does Desive slap? Seems uncalled for.

It’s just gold leaf. Calm down Desive.

Tara: I feel like I’ve seen a face version of this on Glow Up.

Elyse: I thought it said Derisive Slaps.

Sarah: Decisive?

Decisive slaps!

Claudia: Well, regardless, the gold leaf most definitely does not slap.

Amanda: He looks like me after I tuck into a croissant.

Carrie: This is what happens when people discover glitter for the first time.

Planet Oster Fertility Fusion by J.L. Logosz and Vera Valentine. A giant purple Saturn and a phallic metal rocket take up the bottom half of the cover. The top half is three shirtless men in different color shades: yellow, pink, and blue. They also have bunny ears.

From Tracy: This cover is wild AF but it 100% gets the point across. Maybe too accurate? Peep that horny dick spaceship tho. (Unrelated but this is the first time I’ve seen female on male anal fisting in a book, but that’s not on the cover for some reason…)

Sarah: None words. Unable to word. None.

Elyse: Why the ears ?

Shana: Just in time for Easter, Bunny Aliens!

Claudia: We can appreciate the pastel colors…I guess?

Kiki: I’m now realizing just how long it’s been since I had Peeps…

Elyse: If we microwave them will they expand?

Sneezy: No.

They’ll take up too much space.

AJ: Welp, looks like I’m going to have to read that Easter bunny book.

I cannot resist the crazy sauce.

The heroine’s name is Ch’ik. Chick. We’re starting strong.

The Reflective Cause by Tamara Rose Blodgett. A woman is surrounded by fire and is wearing a chain mail crop top, revealing some significant underboob.

Amanda: It says book two and yes, there is underboob on every other cover in the series. At least it’s consistent.

Carrie: Look, we all know that all that exposed area is dangerous, but can we take a moment to discuss the hazards of chafing? Cause that can’t be comfortable!

Amanda: The thought of chainmail rubbing against my nips 24/7 is a big ol’ nope for me. Dr. Nips would be on speed dial

Carrie: I hurt just looking at this.

Sarah: This is what endometriosis feels like.

Elyse: I love how the armor just exposes her most vulnerable areas.

Sneezy: Plus her hair must be all caught and snagged in the chainmail.

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