Cover Snark: Too Smooth

[Artemis Gordon]

Hey! It’s Monday and we think it’s the perfect time for Cover Snark.

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From Jen: This motorcycle seems to be running over the guy, or maybe it’s a ghost cycle?

Amanda: Run him over! He knows what he did!

Also, his abs could technically be speed bumps.

Sarah: This is some fine vintage Poser art. and I’m reasonably sure from the cover copy that the hero is a motorcycle shifter.

Elyse: Is that the Black Widow?

Claudia: No matter what, roadkill is never appealing.

EllenM: LOLLL I love this cover it reminds me of early 2000s pPaystation games.

Catherine: Is this actually a romance? Because between the title and the cover, I feel like it could be a vigilante biker girl superhero story, and that would be fine with me.

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Sneezy: Um.

Shana: This. Is. Terrifying.

Amanda: Is that supposed to be blood in the bottom right? There’s just something so unsettling about this cover.

Sarah: No.

No to all of it.

No.

Catherine: Baby left alone in the woods. Asleep. With a creepy symbol made from spiderwebs floating above it. Are they trying to get this child stolen by the fairies? Because this is definitely how you get your child stolen by the fairies.

Alternatively, that bit in the corner is blood, the baby is possessed by the creepy spiderweb symbol thing, and has just fallen asleep after eating the body of its victim. Possessed, flesh-eating babies are definitely what I am looking for in a romance…

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Catherine: Have they… fused together?

And does she have a beard?

I have many questions about this cover, truly.

I do like the warning about graphic steamy sex scenes, though. I like to be warned about those. So that I can one-click.

Sneezy: Yes, but do you trust a sex scene from… glances at fused creature

*whips around*

From that?

*risks glance back*

Although they seem to be standing on freezing water. If one of them has some kind of fire power, prognosis is good there may be temperature play

Shana: Are they floating? What is going on here?

AJ: I just feel like this cover is protesting too much. “They’re graphic and steamy! Really! One person touches another person’s” (looks at smeared writing on hand) “squiggling manbun”

EllenM: Of course everyone can groom themselves how they like but these two look like they have nary a hair follicle between them like are they robots.

Amanda: Two smooth featureless Barbie and Ken dolls.

Sarah: The placement of the S and P in “Aspen” is absolutely masterful.

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From Jen: Her leg seems unnaturally long?

Tara: Did they airbrush a nipple out of there? I wasn’t sure what I was looking at for a bit.

Elyse: Eve wants her tattoo back.

Amanda: Elyse, that’s a deep cut and I appreciate it.

Shana: Honestly, it looks like he’s holding a bunch of body parts,

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