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Cover Snark: Space Western Beauty Pageant


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Happy Cover Snark day!

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/54003053._SY475_.jpg

Amanda: Is the gem hidden in his armpit?

Sarah: or in his bangs?

Elyse: It’s the sweet bracelet he made a sleep away camp.

Amanda: Or maybe the necklace he’s clearly hiding. He’s not very good at this game.

Sarah: Or wait, maybe it’s in his belly button?

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From Karen: It’s not the cover on its own so much as its complete mismatch with the book. The book title includes the words “Sweet Clean Historical Western Mail Order Bride Inspirational Romance” and it’s clearly set in the 1800s in the West (mostly), yet that dress and those earrings are neither 19th century, western wear, nor in keeping with the covers of most inspirational romance books (strapless with beading and probably could be worn to a modern prom or a fancy party).

Sarah: “Catherine Pinkiss is a chambermaid.”

I need to step up my cleaning the house attire, then.

Elyse: That’s a prom dress.

Amanda: Maybe the Ruby Springs Brides is a pageant title.

Sneezy: I…can’t think of a single time when I was that close to the mountains and not want at least a hoodie.

Hell, it looks like wherever she is is halfway up a mountain

Tara: Are we sure that’s not a bridesmaid?

Claudia: The 1980s called and they want their dress back.

Carrie: Maybe they saw “West” and thought “Dallas” (1978-1991)

Maya: Maybe she’s dressing for the job she wants and that’s to time travel to the future and be Inara from Firefly. I’m pretty sure she’d have more fun there than in an inspie.

Carrie: I also thought she looked like Inara! Like if they made Inara into a Barbie.

Maya: oh totally! it would also explain the weird mishmash that’s happening! it’s secretly a space western!

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From Alexandra: Dr. Nips looking like he’s misplaced his penis.

Lara: Is anyone else experiencing missing-penis-fatigue? At this point, I would PAY for someone to design a uniquely terrible cover.

Shana: What about the terrifying flying tarantulas? That deserves points for originality.

Wait, are those supposed to be helicopters? Nevermind.

Lara: I infinitely prefer flying tarantulas… nothing says “edgy” like flying arachnid!

EllenM: Dr Nips and his sidekick, Dr Veiny.

Amanda: Also, is the other guy SUPPOSED to be reaching into the dude’s pocket? Like “here we go again! Chad is trying to give me a handy at work.”

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From Darien: Is that a pistol in your belt, or are you just happy to see me? And it looks like someone has been shopping at Pyramid collection for their role-playing clothing….

Sarah: The little wee gun is cracking me up.

Amanda: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that man’s coat at a Hot Topic ten years ago.

Tara: That green dress and red hair are giving me Jinkx Monsoon vibes, from her season on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Amanda: I can definitely see that, Tara.

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