April Fool’s 2021: The Smart Bitches Smart Device!

[Artemis Gordon]

Y’all know how much I love the annual April Fool’s jokes here at the hot pink palace of silliness. I ponder ideas all year, and have a whole page in my notebook reserved for potential goofiness.

This year: The Smart Bitches Smart Device! 

Just holler from whatever room you’re in, “Hey now, Smart Bitches!” (I mean, you could customize it to respond to whatever phrase you’d like. I can suggest:

• Hey, Smart Bitches!
• Smaaaaaaaaaaart Bitches!
• I beg your pardon, most excellent bitches!

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/sDepositphotos_243655170_xl-2015.jpeg

 

And yes, it will surreptitiously build you that kitchen, if you’d like. I think it’s so bright you could perform surgery.

Combining the visual and actual strength of every cover model on the cover of every romance novel ever, the Smart Bitches Smart Device will embeefen your WiFi network, too.  Every bicep, every ab, every oblique, and even those muscles that look like small aliens doing a rhumba with a sea cucumber, combined. We’re not goofing around with the WiFi capabilities.

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And no, we do not listen nor collect data. Not interested.

(Seriously, wouldn’t it be cool to have a device like this, just to help manage the TBR and the sales? I wish it were real!)

Happy April 1st, everyone. I hope this brought a smile to your face!

Want to look back at some of our past April Fool’s editions? Here are a few of my favorites:

Last year, we worked with all our pets to remove the weight of the world from your shoulders with Smart Bitches Weightless Blankets.

Back in 2019, we debuted Smart Butchers, Trashy Books – we have The Meats!

Back in 2016 we made snack box subscriptions, including one for you and one for your pet. (Now, with businesses like Bark Box, that’s actually a thing! That’s hilarious.)

We’ve fallen in love with rabbits, and  made our own social media network in 2014 complete with hoax-detection technology (wow, wish that had been real).

Ah, the Smart Bitches Smart Watch!

And one of my all-time most-favorite April Fool’s Day?

Our 2015 Time-stopping wearable device that doubles as a reader, pedometer, page counter, audio device, sale alarm, and timekeeper.

Seriously, I am really good at developing completely necessary yet fundamentally difficult technology for readers.

We’ll be back next year with more silliness, but until then, Happy April, folks.

See you next year!

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