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Elyse Watches The Bachelor–S25 E11: Don’t Worry, Love Ends

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http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/ElyseBachelor-150x125.pngWe almost, almost at the end of this season.

We have a two hour finale and then the After The Final Rose special. I’m breaking it up into two recaps because I can’t stay up that late.

Pudding, however, is a night owl.


Click for me to Pudding in the morning


Matt’s mom and his brother have arrived to meet the last two women, Michelle and Rachael.

Patty, his mom, says she does think it’s a longshot he’d be engaged at the end of the show, but that she’ll trust Matt’s decision.

First up is Michelle. Matt’s brother, John, asks to talk to her. He says he’s never seen Matt in love before (Matt himself has said he’s never been in love–so it makes total sense he’d have his first serious relationship on TV).


Patty says growing up, Matt was always drawn to friends with strong families. She starts to cry saying that she couldn’t give him that.

Michelle says she’s in love with Matt, and that she doesn’t see him as disadvantaged for growing up without a dad because it will make him appreciate his family even more.

When Matt walks Michelle back out to her SUV they get into a snowball fight.

So then the next day Rachael shows up and I have to wonder, do they really space these out into two days or does everyone just change outfits and pretend?


Rachael tells Patty and John that Matt told her, “The only way this is going to work out is if we’re completely open and honest with each other, even with stuff we don’t want to talk about.”

Click for ACTUAL spoilers

Yeah she followed that advice.


John asks Rachael if she’s been in love with and she says she’s loved but not been in love.

Patty liked Michelle so much she cried when talking about her to Matt. She says Rachael is “cute.”



Then Rachael says that her faith is really important to her and she feels like God brought her and Matt together. She says she really and truly loves Matt.

Patty starts to cry again.

Then we go to commercial and get a trailer for Falcon and the Winter Soldier and it will 120% be the best part of these two hours.

When we come back, Patty asks Matt if he’s really ready to be engaged or just to see where the relationship leads.

“People fall in and out of love, but love is not the end all, be all,” she tells him.

“Don’t feel like you have to jump into a decision where you’re not ready,” John adds.

Matt says the conversation reminds him about how his dad wasn’t ready for marriage and he worries he’s not ready either.

Because Matt is anxious he decides to go to Chris Harrison for reassurance. Because Chris has seen this work out 2 times in 25 seasons.

Chris is mystified by Patty’s message. “Don’t worry, love ends? What kind of greeting card is that?”

“Not a top seller,” says Matt.

They probably put it next to the card that says, “Sorry you got fired from your high-paying job where you literally only had to count roses, you racist toolbag.”

“What are you scared of the most?” Chris asks.

Me? This episode lasting three hours. After that, snakes.

Matt says he isn’t sure he’s ready to be engaged and he keeps going over in his head, “Am I ready? Can I get there? What’s the right thing to do?”

Then Matt and Michelle go on their final date. They rappel down the side of the hotel because we are out of things to do in this stupid place. They had a butter massage for Chrissake.


Matt slips twice and my fear of heights makes me sweaty.

They make it down alive and talk about Matt’s family. Michelle says she really liked his mom and brother, and that she feels very sure of her feelings for Matt. He, on the other hand, is clearly struggling. Possibly because that harness looks like it was causing some ball-crushing.

Michelle gives Matt a basketball jersey that says Mr. James. She named “their team” the World Changing Warriors. She has one that says Mrs. James.

After that incredibly sweet gift, Matt admits to her he’s having doubts and hasn’t been sleeping. “The easy thing to do would be for me to tell you what you want to hear,” he says.

“That’s not what I’m looking for,” she replies. “Tell me where you’re at actually.”

“I don’t think I can get there with you,” he admits.

(Ed. note: what the hell does all that mean?)

They both start crying. Matt says he’s sorry and he leaves. Michelle sinks down onto the floor and sobs.

Matt paces outside the hotel and cries. Chris Harrison shows up to make everything worse. He has this way of wafting in from the shadows like a silent, terrible fart.

Matt says he loved Michelle but wasn’t in love with her. He says he won’t put Michelle or Rachael into the same situation his mom went through.

“To be honest with you, Chris, I just need some time,” he says.

The next day Rachael answers her door to find Chris Harrison hanging out in the hallway like an unwanted copy of USA Today. He tells her that Matt has canceled her final date. Rachael says she feels hurt and confused. “It’s like very blindsiding,” she says.

Then Matt meets with Neil Lane who helpfully opens up by saying, “Love is not easy.”

Thanks Neil...


Matt picks out a pear-shaped diamond ring and asks if he can just hold onto it. Like forever? Good play.

Matt holds the ring and says, “To me this represents what my father couldn’t give to my mother. It represents a lot of broken promises.”


Then the next day someone slides a card under Rachael’s door that’s allegedly from Matt (but in the same serial killer handwriting the Fantasy Suite notes are in) asking Rachael to meet him by the lake.

Rachael wears proper “hang out by the lake” attire which is a green sparkly ballgown.

She says this is the most scared she’s been in her life.

One of the times I was the most scared in my life is when a truck cut off a SUV in a four lane highway and it flipped the barrier and rolled in front of my car and then into the ditch, and had I been traveling even a tiny bit faster I’d be dead now, but cool story.

Rachael tells Matt that she “hated more than anything the thought of you hurting and being confused and not wanting to see me.” She adds, “I’ve never felt a love like this in my entire life.”

“Everything I came here looking for, I found with you,” Matt says. “I want to be everything to you that my dad couldn’t be to my mom.”


Right ,Taylor?


He says that he doesn’t want to rush into a proposal, but he does want to see where the relationship goes if they stay together.

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/the-bachelor-finale-recap-e1615944244571.jpgThen he tells her he’s in love with her and wants to commit to her, and they kiss.

And that’s where it ends. Were you watching?

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