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Cover Snark: Moldy Beards & Radioactive Hair


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Hey hey, it’s Cover Snark day!

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Amanda: I just imagine his friends: “Hey, bud. You okay? Wanna talk about it?”

Elyse: Is he staring at his own penis and smiling?

Claudia: I think he’s peeing and bothered by the other dudes hovering.

Amanda: He’s pee shy.

Sneezy: They look disconcertingly clone like.

Susan: That guy in the seal cover has the look of “Can’t believe I spilled the ENTIRE bottle of water…”

Shana: Pee-friend on the left looks like he’s daring us to watch. Meanwhile, pee-friend on the right is trying to encourage him, in a tough love way. “Dude, some chafing is normal!”

Catherine: I’m just distracted by the way the sun apparently shines out of the hero’s arse. No wonder he looks so pleased with himself.

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From Wendy: When I looked at it, I definitely read: Bound by Fart.

Sarah: Isn’t that one of the Housewives of Some Major Metropolitan Area?

WAIT is the entire franchise of Real Housewives bound together by FART?

Claudia: By faith and farth.

Amanda: Her hair reminds me of those infomercials for the “Bump-It.

Shana: I didn’t know the Kardashians were from Farth.

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From Kris B: That hair.

Sarah: That…might be hair. It might be a mop?

Catherine: She looks like she’s leaning back in preparation for chin-butting him hard in the nose.

Sneezy: The hair certainly looks radioactive.

Amanda: Yeah, everything is glowing: skin, hair, tattoos.

Sneezy: The proportions of the woman’s butt looks very strange to me too. Like it’s too short somehow?

Shana: Is Roxy from Jem and the Holograms about to push that buttress woman off the subway platform?

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From Elva: I’m not fond of bushy beards to begin with, but this beard is downright scary to me. Is it moldy? Radioactive? Did he fall asleep with his face in his soup? I’m almost tempted to read the damned book just to find out what happened to his beard.

Sarah: Radioactive Santa?

Tara: My brain spat out “BIKER SANTA!!!”

Amanda: I know his beard is supposed to be salt and pepper but all I see are crumbs.

Elyse: Or he doesn’t know if you swim a lot you need special shampoo to get the chlorine out.

Sneezy: I hope he has a symbiotic relationship with the creature on his face. Although given how salty it looks, that may not be the case.

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