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Cover Snark: Old Skool Surprise


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Welcome back to Cover Snark, where we looking at covers and well…snark a bit.

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/WP/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/image-33.png

From Kerri: I saw this cover and I have CONCERNS. Specifically where those tentacles are coming from and where they’re going. Also, are his nether regions just tentacles all the way down?

Sarah: It’s a good thing pools are mostly closed.

Elyse: That dude needs all the sunscreen. SPF80 at least.

Claudia: Is the kraken doing what I am thinking it is doing?

Lara: Claudia, the answer is yes. Yes, he is.

Sneezy: I can’t tell if he’s enjoying it or not. Or maybe he’s doing that thing where he’s trying to hold off on orgasming until whoever came to check on the pool has left. Which begs the question if only the people being debauched by the tentacles can see them.

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From Anne H: For cover snark: Prize of the Alien Captain by Cordelia Archer in which a blue elf is sniffing a hunk’s armpit.

Sarah: Can confirm.

Tara: Their kink is not my kink and that’s okay.

Amanda: There’s something about that shade of blue that makes me think they’re made of chalk and I just got a full body shiver at the thought of touching chalk.

Sneezy: Is this a sci-fi take on Purple Rain?

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From Lisa S: May I present: “Guy with buildings growing out of his head.”

Sarah: He’s got his mind on the towers of capitalism, I think. Or they’re on his mind whether he likes it or not?

Amanda: You know how sometimes, you see one detail and it’s all you can focus on? That’s how I feel about the weird little street lamp coming out of his nose.

Sneezy: Now it’s all I see too.

And you know what? If my brain were skyscrapers and the rest of my head the soil propping up their foundations, I’d be Broody McBrooderson, too.

Catherine: I mean, to do this cover justice, I think the artist has invented an entirely new species of shifter. Never seen a hero who could transform into a city before, and it gives a whole new meaning to ‘built’, if you think about it…

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From Bree W: I am 37 and have loved romance since I was a teen I only recently read Beyond Heaving Bosoms and while it’s nearly 14 years too late I would love to nominate for Worst Possible Cover Ever: The Heart and the Holly by Nancy Richards-Akers it could quite possibly also be Sexiest Cover Ever but I haven’t made up my mind yet.

Sarah: MY GOSH Bree has gifted me with magnificence.

I am tempted to order a copy of this book so I might see it with my own eyeballs.

Lara: Not gonna lie. I am HERE FOR THIS!

Sarah: Is he pulling up his own thighs? Is he a waterfall selkie of some sort? I really think I need to order this book

Lara: He’s doing both and more. He’s liberated himself from The World of Pants.

Catherine: I am not at all sure that he has legs. Am voting merman.

Tara: I’m with Lara on this one. He’s taken the no-pants life to another level.

Sneezy: “I really need to find my pants, it- oh, you’ll do. You’ve enough skirts for both of us.”

Susan: Oh that’s his LEG, I was trying to work out why he had one tiny bit of fabric around his thighs.

EllenM: It’s so bad but I love it?!

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