The Heart Also Whispers: A Rock 'n' Roll Odyssey, Brian C. Lockey in New York Write to Pitch "First Pages" - 2022 Posted June 23, 2021 The jumping around of the setting confuses me a little. He dreams he's in Portugal, but wakes up in Pacific time. Even though you call it Part One California, I think you need to express to the readers exactly where we are when he wakes up. Also, I'm wondering if this is the start? If so, maybe consider beginning at a place where we can understand a little more about who Whitman is? I don't have a lot of context to invest in this character at this point or have an understanding of what the conflict is. I love your voice. Your writing it beautiful, but I think the opening should start before this dream and her phone call.