Laura Neibaur
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Hi Minglu, I love that your story started off with something action-filled and thrilling. That is my favorite way to get into a story. I got the feel for the drama of the situation right off. I also think you did a great job at describing the action scenes and making them move forward dramatically. I was instantly worried about the woman they were going to torture. I also wanted to know more about the Theikos and who they were, which made me want to keep reading. I also kept reading to find out the relationship between the two protagonists. I would have liked to see the city, clothi -
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Opening scene: Set in the upper estates of the kingdom of Buclaminta. Hild, a slave, is on his way home from working in the orchards and is attacked by a Kadai guard. He meets Sheehan Kasyl and learns that he must escape into the desert. This chapter briefly introduces our main female protagonist, Razya, who will be in the following chapter, and will meet up with Hild later in the story. CHAPTER 1 TWELVE TOLLS It was just days into harvest and Hild’s neck and cheeks were already stained pink from the sun. He swung the leather satchel of plums over his shoulder and glance
